A decade of dishes will turn a girl into a woman, and a sensible one, at that.

3 Nov

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According to Business Insider, the highest unemployment rates for people who graduated from college are for architecture majors (13.9 % unemployment), arts majors (11.1%) and humanities and liberal arts majors (9.4%).

http://www.businessinsider.com/unemployment-by-major-2012-1?op=1

Hmm.  Just the disciplines women tend to cluster in.  How perfect.  Spend $50 000 plus dollars on a degree that doesn’t even get you a job.  Too bad the Gawker site has been affected by Hurricane Sandy, because they run a regular feature about unemployment, and you should hear the moany liberal arts graduates blaming everyone but themselves for their unemployment.

Yeah, because normally there are tons of jobs for cultural anthropology/women’s studies majors.

It’s called being a barista at Starbucks.

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So what is a young lady to do when she’s ready for college but has no real idea of what she wants to do or be or how to support herself once she’s done?  Easy.

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Don’t go.

Find a husband, have some children, stay home and raise them yourself and give yourself time to turn into a mature and responsible woman.  Raising your own children and taking care of your own home will help that process.  And believe me, after a decade of folding underpants and doing dishes, you won’t be talked into chucking fifty grand of your family’s money into fine arts or children’s literature or any other of the useless liberal arts majors you can declare.

Nope.  You will be interested in acquiring some skills that will get you a job and earn you and your family some money.  Accounting will become mighty attractive.  Hell, you’ll probably do the sensible thing and go to trade school and grab some actual job market skills.

Young women are narcissists.  They want what they want, and they are surrounded by a culture that tells them HELL YEAH YOU SHOULD DO WHAT YOU WANT.  Except that what they want is fucking stupid.  Spending a shit ton of money (that you probably had to borrow and it will take you twenty years to repay) on a useless piece of paper that qualifies you to work at McDonald’s is just plain old dumb.

Grow up before you make that decision.  Do a real job with real responsibilities before you decide how you plan on making money.  Be a wife.  Be a mother.  Do a good job at both.

Only then will you be wise enough to pick a college major.

Lots of love,

JB

14 Responses to “A decade of dishes will turn a girl into a woman, and a sensible one, at that.”

  1. Roger O Thornhill November 3, 2012 at 02:32 #

    Dear Judgybitch,

    What is a confirmed Modern Bachelor like me to do? I’ve searched high and low all of my life for my very own Judgybitch. Are there anymore at home like you…?
    I don’t want a princess because I know I’m beneath them, I just want a Judgybitch of my own.

    Like

  2. judgybitch November 3, 2012 at 11:43 #

    The quick answer, Mr. Thornhill, is keep looking! Don’t ever settle. Marriage can be a dangerous proposition for men, especially once you have children. Most of the world acts like children are the property of women, and that fathers don’t matter. When I watch my single male friends date, it’s always the practical girls who seem the most appropriate. Sounds old fashioned, but a girl who LIKES to cook, keeps a reasonably clean and comfortable (meaning welcoming) home, wears sensible clothes, watches her weight and takes a little care with her appearance is just the sort of girl JudgyBitch would approve of.

    High heels, fake nails, too much make-up, let’s order takeout, hair extensions and no food or cold beer in the fridge? Run away, Mr. Thornhill. Those chicks are fun to fuck, but that’s about it.

    Like

  3. Shouting Thomas February 23, 2013 at 05:49 #

    Amazing. And true.

    Like

  4. yaser March 26, 2013 at 21:58 #

    *like*

    Like

  5. caprizchka July 25, 2014 at 21:39 #

    Reblogged this on caprizchka and commented:
    Personally, I find this reasonable advice for “girls” of all ages. A little humility would be a fine thing to see even among even the shrill, dried up harpies. It worked for Governor Jerry Brown. In goats and cows, we call them “settled” when they finally first give birth and lactate. There are biochemical reasons for this.

    Like

  6. Mark August 9, 2014 at 00:35 #

    I fear I must contradict you, madam: The best way to find a solid husband is to go to college. My wife majored in physics, and that’s why I picked her; she was virtually the only attractive girl in any of my classes. Men may do well to develop an interest in horses or dance, but for a smart girl nothing maximizes your odds of getting a solid MRS better than selecting a tolerable scientific field as your a college major. Judgybitch clearly has an excellent command of the English language, but my wife knows how to program computers and solve differential equations.

    Liked by 1 person

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