Why are you so goddamn fat? Part two.

18 Nov

A neighbor’s son, PumpkinHead, turned 21 yesterday, so JudgyAsshole and JudgyBitch stopped by to bring a present and our best wishes.  It seemed like a good opportunity for JA to meet some new women, and women were everywhere! PumpkinHead and his older brother PotatoHead are popular guys in this town, and they seem to know everyone!  Both good-looking, fun men to be around, with good jobs and a great family and all their shit together.  So obviously, very popular with the ladies.

Looking around last night for potential prospects for JA, I noticed something striking.  Every single one of the women at the party was fat.  Every.  Single.  One.  And I don’t mean 5 pounds not quite a supermodel with washboard abs.  I mean FAT.  And not one of them seemed to give a shit.  They were all decked out in fancy whore clothes, faces slathered with makeup, hair done up and pretty.  Glorious muffin-tops and gunts everywhere.

It was just gross.  I asked both PumpkinHead and PotatoHead if they noticed that all the women were fat.  “Of course,” they said, “but that’s what’s available.”  One of the chubbies overheard the conversation, and in truth, I wasn’t being all that subtle about it (I rarely am), and you would think they would unsheathe their claws at hearing themselves described as fat.  Nope.  Just a shrug.  They don’t care.  “You’re so young,” I said to one of the girls, “Why do you do this to yourself?”

Her answer?  “Because we can.”


Let’s unpack that, shall we?  In that assertion are a number of truths about how young women feel about young men.  And I’ll preface all of this by saying very FEW of the men were overweight.  PumpkinHead and his brother are in precisely the sort of shape you would expect young, virile, battle ready men to be in:  great!  JA, who is a bit older than PumpkinHead is also in fantastic physical shape, and he works hard to keep himself fit and strong.

The very first thing fat girls feel is ENTITLED.  It’s not that they don’t understand that most men prefer slender women to overweight women – that would be impossible to miss in a culture saturated with images of thin women as objects of desire.  It’s just that they don’t care.  Desirable is not part of their self-definition.  What men desire is a subject of absolutely no interest to young women, who seem to have embraced the whole “grrl power” sensibility.  They know the school system is geared towards their success at the expense of boys.  They know most university places are reserved for them (except the really hard thinky ones like math and engineering where girls simply cannot compete).  They know most bullshit paper shuffling government jobs will go to them, with benefits and pensions and no expectation of any actual work.  They know they can pick and choose a male partner and ditch him whenever the mood strikes, while keeping his children and most of his cash.

Why SHOULD they give those nachos a pass?  They have all the power, and it doesn’t matter what the boys think or feel or want.  The price for being fat is giving up access to Alpha Males like JA, but shrug – they don’t really care about that, either.  The fat women at that party felt absolutely and completely entitled to the attention of men without having to make a single effort.

What these women don’t seem to grasp is that when they give up beauty, they are in a very real sense giving up love.  The relationship between beauty and love has long been a subject for poets and philosophers alike, and most agree that love and beauty are flip sides of the same coin.  What we love, we find beautiful, and what we find beautiful, we love.  Without beauty, there is little chance for love.

If questioning would make us wise

No eyes would ever gaze in eyes;

If all our tale were told in speech

No mouths would wander each to each.

Were spirits free from mortal mesh

And love not bound in hearts of flesh

No aching breasts would yearn to meet

And find their ecstasy complete.

Christopher Brennan (1870 – 1932)

There is power in beauty and the fact that women no longer give a shit about beauty speaks volumes to the powers they have gained, and the ones they are throwing away.

Here’s a true story:  JudgyBitch recently took her littlest daughter on an overseas trip to visit a friend with a very ill child.  I went to give the parents some respite, a chance to sleep and to catch their breaths and to take on all their household chores so they could concentrate on their little guy.  The trip was a bit of a rush, and Mr.JudgyBitch took care of all of the bookings and details, and just handed me a folder of papers and some money and our passports.

We live in a small town with a small airport that only has four flights a day on the particular airline I was flying.  In a rush to get out of the house, I barely listened to Mr.JudgyBitch reciting the details of my flights, and I heard “you’re on the late flight back so I will pick you up at 11PM”, and then I put the whole thing out of my head.

The trip was a smashing success, and me and MissBossyPants had a fabulous time and we left our friends rested and organized and the little guy on the mend.  During our trip, I never once looked at my boarding pass or any other details of our flights.  I simply recalled that Mr.JB would be picking us up at 11PM, which meant we were on the last flight of the day.  After a long international flight, we went to the regional flights terminal, where I noted that there was an earlier flight we had time to board.  I tried to get our tickets changed to the second last flight of the day, but alas, it was sold out.  So me and MBP sat down for a long wait for the last flight.

And, oh, oops.  We were actually booked for that second last flight.  I never read my boarding pass.  It was a complete and total fuck-up.  Here’s where it gets interesting.  I went to the customer service desk and stood in line behind another gentleman who had missed his flight due to an extensive security search of his bags.  The customer service agent gave not one fuck and charged him several hundreds of dollars to rebook his flight. I was completely horrified that my stupid mistake was about to cost my husband hundreds of dollars when he had already spent so much money letting me go to my friend in the first place.

The customer service agent was a young man, probably not even 30, great shape, really good looking and apparently not very sympathetic, based on the previous guy who missed his flight.  I took a deep  breath, put on some sparkly lip gloss, took off my jacket, adjusted my super comfy and also super hot yoga pants and told him my story.  I did not read my boarding pass.  I simply took my husband’s word for when my flight was, missed my actual flight and now I needed to be rebooked on the next flight, which would not be until the morning.

He got the strangest look on his face when I told him all of the above. I was expecting some eye-rolling and sighing, but instead, he seemed almost amused and impressed? He called up the next day’s flights and found two seats available.  And he booked me on them.  And charged me nothing.  Zip.  Not a penny.  Then he gave me a voucher for the airport hotel and wrote that I had missed my flight due to airline events beyond my control, so that cost was covered, too. He even offered me a travel bag with toothpaste, slippers, shampoo, etc, but I had all that in my carry-on bag so I was able to decline graciously.  He put up his Back Soon sign and physically walked me over to the shuttle bus to the hotel.

And I’m not even that beautiful!  But in a sea of women who roll around with thongs stuck up arses way too big for stretch pants, with attitudes to match, even a little bit of beauty goes a long way.  Thank god I got a young male CSR.  Had I found myself standing in front of the haggard middle aged broad who was also manning the desk, my mistake would have cost well over $500.  But it didn’t.  It cost me nothing but time and a little chagrin (how could I be so stupid?).

Because I pass on the nachos.  And I care about being desirable.  And I don’t automatically feel entitled to male attention or help.  And because of that, men help me.  They take care of me, protect me, assist me and just generally make my life very pleasant and enjoyable.

I thought Mr.JB would be angry with me for such foolishness, but he wasn’t.  In a way, he was pleased that I had not one thought in my head to double check his details or oversee his planning.  He gave me some easily misinterpreted information (he said “late flight”, not “last flight” and the time changed the day we were travelling so it was not 11PM when he ought to have picked me up but 10PM).  He was grateful for the CSR getting me to hotel and not charging me anything for my mistake.  And he was glad to have me home.

There is value in beauty, and more than just the cost of a re-booked plane ticket or hotel room.  Beauty is a physical way of showing that you value and care about men and what they want.  Being fat just because you can be is a slap in the face to men, and if you plan on going through life a walking testament to how little you regard the needs and desires of men, plan on going through it without love, too.

Cold winds can never freeze, nor thunder sour

The cup of cheer that Beauty draws for me

Out of those Azure heavens and this green earth —

I drink and drink, and thirst the more I see.


As long as I love Beauty I am young,

Am young or old as I love more or less;

When Beauty is not heeded or seems stale,

My life’s a cheat, let Death end my distress.

William Henry Davies

(1871 – 1940)

And for fuck’s sake!  Don’t eat nachos!  They will make you fat.

Lots of love,


25 Responses to “Why are you so goddamn fat? Part two.”

  1. Friday Drunk November 18, 2012 at 20:43 #

    Love this one. So true. People are now trying to justify that fatness is good, because it is better to be too fat than too skinny. The fucking retards of the world always argue in extremes. You are either a communist or a capitalist. You are either pro-choice or pro-life. You are either too skinny or too fat. A 180lbs woman is not real beauty in the same way that a 80lbs one is not either. Get healthy. Get off your ass and do something. Stop eating shit all day long. It is not that fucking hard. People always complain how easy it is to lose weight. Stop eating crab and get moving.

    In an interesting tie in. I was watching a documentary called “Prom Night In Mississippi.” Detailed a story about how this community still has a prom for blacks and a prom for whites. Interesting story on its own. But everyone in the move, save a few people, were unbelievably fat. This gorgeous, in shape blond girl was dating this fat loser, because she had no choice.


  2. Sarah Daniels January 11, 2013 at 00:51 #

    I know why I’m a bit overweight, I eat too much. But honestly, I don’t care to do anything about it. I don’t really have a killer figure when I’m slim so I might as well enjoy food. I have never really had any curves, I have always been rather square with somewhat slender legs. And if I die at 45, my kids will be grown up, my Husband can meet someone else and I can die happy with my face in the biscuit tin.


  3. Sarah Daniels January 11, 2013 at 02:38 #

    crab is actually quite lean…


  4. The Spideron January 30, 2013 at 16:05 #

    Excellent article! I don’t see being overweight (BMI 25-29.9) as a massive problem, but when people are in the BMI 30 or above category, there is clearly a problem which cannot possibly be put down to genetics. I wonder what the ratio is for weight by mirror ownership. Do fat people ever look at their own reflections? Do they not realise that they endanger their own health and that regular people have to look at their bloated forms whenever they walk down the street? It is tremendously inconsiderate of them. Society needs to give political correctness the bum’s rush and make obesity shameful once again, because it seems to me that the obese are too weak and selfish to improve themselves without coercion.


  5. Daedalus351 March 10, 2013 at 23:35 #

    I have seen firsthand this attitude that young women have. They describe themselves as sexy, with curves and believe that guys see them as “irresistible”. I wish I could say I’m sorry, but I’m not – I like women with curves (stick thin women do nothing for me) but these women don’t have curves, they have rolls. That is not sexy.


  6. Leibniz May 16, 2013 at 20:41 #

    People are fat because they have bought into the lies of conventional wisdom and eat according to the USDA food pyramid, which (surprise!) is not based on science. Also most of the overweight girls are probably chronically dieting, which creates a great deal of stress on the body. Then, the thyroid slows down, which causes the dieter to regain all the weight that they lost and more. Chronic dieters need to eat MORE, not less, and they need to make sure that the food that they eat is whole and nutrient dense. That means: skip the salad, which is full of anti-nutrients, and eat dense foods like cheese, fish, eggs, sausage, organ meats.

    Whining on a blog about how people have no discipline to exercise and control their caloric intake completely misses the point about rising obesity and only contributes to the problem of eating and exercise disorders. Of course overweight girls know that they need to lose weight and of course they want to! The girls you talked to probably shrugged and ignored you because you were being a nosy asshole. You essentially asked them: “Hey, why are you so ugly? Don’t you know that no one will ever love you if you don’t have a BMI under 25?” Lots of girls are very sensitive to comments about their physical attractiveness, why would they engage with you on that? “Oh yeah JB, I’m fat because I know that I can steal a man’s spot at a university and major in a useless field like business and film studies so I don’t have to put any effort in my life. Also, feminism. ”

    Yeah, right.


  7. NancyK June 1, 2013 at 22:25 #

    Thanks Leibniz… I mostly agree with your comment (the last paragraph in particular). But to be fair, I think some overweight people do know how to eat healthy and exercise, but they don’t always do it. I am guilty of that myself. I don’t need a food pyramid or other guideline from the government to tell me pizza and ice cream are not healthy parts of my diet.

    While I definitely think that obesity is dangerous to one’s health and should NOT be condoned, I cannot believe a human being would say this: “when they give up beauty, they are in a very real sense giving up love.” Are you kidding me?! So the moral of the story is what? Be above-average-looking, act dumb, put on lip gloss and flirt… that’s how you’ll get the best of life. Sure, who cares about self-respect anyway.

    The real problem with women today is the women who are putting each other down instead of trying to boost one another up. Beauty!? Let’s encourage one another to be healthy and successful, not just focus on so-called beauty as a way to get what we want.

    By the way, most fat girls don’t feel “entitled” as you say. That attitude is often a self-defense mechanism because they are sick of skinny bitches putting them down.

    And to ‘The Spideron’ – so you think your precious eyes should not have to see fat people? I suppose you feel the same way about deformed people or just those you deem ugly?

    If a person is fat, it’s his/her own problem, what do you care? (And don’t pretent you don’t care, because you wouldn’t feel the need to write about it if you really didn’t care.) Personally, I think fat-hate comes from people who are afraid of becoming fat themselves.


  8. judgybitch June 1, 2013 at 22:28 #

    No one is deformed or ugly by choice.

    Fat is a choice.

    And why should women boost each other? Simply because we’re women?

    Gender apartheid?

    I’ll save my powers for those who are worthy. That includes men.


  9. NancyK June 2, 2013 at 01:59 #

    I mainly said “women” because your blog entry referred to women.

    People should boost each other up because we are human and should be above “making fun” of each other (which is just a sign of insecurity anyway).

    Part of what’s wrong with the world today is that everyone wants to point a finger a someone else instead of addressing their own personal issues.

    But I don’t know why I even bothered commenting… the title of your blog explains it all.


  10. judgybitch June 2, 2013 at 02:05 #

    Doesn’t it?!?!


  11. Chromesthesia August 23, 2013 at 14:01 #

    Hmm. I reckon I have alpha male repellent then. I am not exactly thin despite walking all over creation all the time. There are quite a few dudes who like women with meat shaking on their bones. There’s probably whole sites dedicated to this. Some of them might take it a bit to the extreme.

    But my main aim in life is NOT to attract some random man when there’s other things I would like to do such as write novels, change the world and also collect more live ginormous spiders. I’m not just here to care about the needs and wants of random dudes. Men just are not the sun my planet revolves around. Or women for that matter.

    Especially controlling ones. Blech. Had enough of that growing up as a kid, thank you.


  12. Ron R. September 23, 2013 at 18:00 #

    Your out in public, so we see you, and I do not like seeing fat people either, it may be your choice to be a fat slob, but do not inflict it on me or the public. Same goes for yoga pants in public or sweats in public, may be comfy at home, but don’t make me see you in them when in public. You do not carry a mirror with you so you do not have to look at yourself, but the rest of us do, so have some pride in yourself and how you look, you will feel better when at a healthy weight, and we all will be happier as well.


  13. EurEye August 11, 2014 at 17:26 #

    This is funny (at least for me here in Europe). Just found your blog and read through a few posts. It looks like mostly you get positive/rational feedback, except here. Looks like you kicked a hornets´ nest. The larger the insect, the more noise it makes.


  14. Jack Strawb October 9, 2014 at 09:57 #

    “I cannot believe a human being would say this: “when they give up beauty, they are in a very real sense giving up love.” Are you kidding me?! “
    Of course she isn’t, and I take it you’ve never been feverishly desired.
    Or did you believe somehow that desire is created out of thin air and willed towards someone regardless of whether she is at all attractive? Did you also believe that absurdity of recent vintage, that friendship and affection should magically create sexual desire? Oh, and not because you are desirable, but because you won’t make the effort to be attractive, and others must therefore make the effort you will not–namely, to find you attractive.
    It’s extraordinary, really. You’re certain that other people should do what people have never done, which is to find you attractive when you’re not. Because you want them to, and until they do you’ll express nothing but contempt for people who do exactly what people have done for milienia. Find attractive people attractive.

    So the moral of the story is what? Be above-average-looking, act dumb, put on lip gloss and flirt… that’s how you’ll get the best of life. Sure, who cares about self-respect anyway.
    No, that’s you. “Wuv me,” seems to be what you’re demanding. Because you’re you, right? It’s fun being attractive, flirting, engaging other human beings on that very enjoyable level. You’re missing a range of the human experience.

    Beauty!? Let’s encourage one another to be healthy and successful, not just focus on so-called beauty as a way to get what we want.
    I see. “Healthy and successful,” I sense, is in your range. But when something isn’t, by god it’s someone else’s fault for pointing it out. It’s hard to believe you like what you see when you look in the mirror, but guess what? That’s not someone else’s fault.


  15. GuntsAreDisgusting January 24, 2015 at 06:03 #

    Feminists with gunts that complain about being oppressed and body image standards are in fact: THE WORST PEOPLE ON THE PLANET.

    Forget ISIS Guntfeminists are far worse.


  16. Jack Strawb March 24, 2015 at 11:13 #

    Whining on a blog about how people have no discipline to exercise and control their caloric intake completely misses the point about rising obesity and only contributes to the problem of eating and exercise disorders.

    What sorry crap. “How dare you actually discuss the matter in a straightforward, honest way? Someone might have to eat an entire ham for desert because of that, you meanie!”

    If that’s the problem, then the problem is lousy parenting and weak character.. If a young woman is so frail that she eats to compensate for low self-esteem, then THAT is the problem–not that JB decided to be blunt.

    It’s incredible how desperate your ilk is to shut up anyone who disagrees with your Fat Acceptance nonsense. Now go have another cupcake, cupcake.



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