Adorable soldier’s girlfriend gets it right: lose weight and become a domestic goddess

1 Dec


Lovely Zooey Peace is girlfriend to Cpl. Sam Garwood, who is currently deployed on his fifth tour of duty in Afghanistan!!  Fifth!  Tell me again how men are lazy slackers living in their parent’s basement playing video games?

While Sam is away, Zooey has hatched a plan to become Sam’s “perfect partner”.

She has enrolled in law school, picked out daycare centers for their future children, interviewed housekeepers and a nanny to cover those annoying hours during the weekend when the kids are at home and planned her wedding down to the last canapé with a strict budget of twice their annual income.

Hahahahahaha!  Oh wait, oops. Nope.


She plans on losing a bit of weight, becoming a domestic goddess and learning the art of DIY.  And Zooey, damn right girl.  You are so on the right track for happiness.  For both yourself and the lucky Cpl. Garwood.  And Zooey isn’t just interested in bringing happiness to her own Sam – she has started a twitter campaign #smilecampbastion, an effort to bring a bit of cheer to all the brave men and women currently deployed so far away from home.  This is a girl who cares, and who is willing to put that care into action.

Ah, the eternal question of “what do women want?”  Popular media, strongly influenced by feminism, insists that Zooey would be so much happier if she WERE to go to law school and pay someone else to raise her children, make her food, clean her house and in all probability, fuck her husband since she’ll be too damned tired from staying up half the night writing briefs to take care of that chestnut, and that right there is a sure recipe for unhappiness.

It’s the feminist dream of “having it all”, which really means “having it all to yourself – fuck the kids and the hubby –they get nothing”.

The reality is so much different. “For decades, women have been told that being housewives will leave them downtrodden and unfulfilled. But a Government study yesterday showed mothers who stay at home are as content and satisfied with their lives as those who choose to go out to work.

In contrast, the report found that house husbands are generally much less happy. The results of David Cameron’s campaign to measure well-being also reveal that the happiest people are traditional married families.”

Well file that one under No Shit Sherlock.  Young women like Zooey are starting to understand what a total crock of shit they’ve been sold.  A husband doesn’t want a fierce competitor.  He doesn’t want a ball-bustin’ slab of concrete in a business suit.  He wants a partner who walks through life with him, caring about him and about herself. He wants a wife who knows how to cook, hang a bookshelf, keep her figure trim and put love and cheer into everything she does.

He wants Zooey.  He wants to be happy.  And smart girls, like Zooey know that happiness is a two way street. You get out what you put in.  So put in your best, and wear an apron while you’re at it.  Domestic goddess work can get a bit messy.

If you’re doing it right.


Lots of love,


One Response to “Adorable soldier’s girlfriend gets it right: lose weight and become a domestic goddess”

  1. FuriousFerret December 1, 2012 at 17:48 #

    I think this girl wants a ring. Going about the right way though.


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