Girls only league? OK! Boys only league? No way, you sexist pig!

3 Dec

Canada loves hockey!  And Canada loves girls!  Boys?  Well, not so much.


One of the provinces in Canada (who knows, maybe all of them) has a regulation that states girls can play in EITHER girls only hockey leagues OR in a mixed boys and girls league. Boy can choose EITHER to play in the boys and girls league OR they can go fuck themselves.


And it gets better:  girls can play in BOTH the all girls league AND the mixed league, effectively DOUBLING their time on the ice.  Boys have no such choice.  But that’s okay, right?  Sure, boys in general are stronger, faster and better players than girls, but let’s not get fussy with facts.  Canadian girls like hockey!  They have a god-given right to be on the ice.  They can’t usually beat boys, so let’s beat the boys for them!


This story, reported in the National Post, actually does a pretty good job of explaining how girls are able to cheat boys out of ice time, without making the coach out to be some kind of sexist monster.

Of course, the story reports that the coach is “complaining”, which may be the technically correct term for “objecting” but carries it with it a whiff of crybaby suckholing.  The comments are instructive:

Citizenone says, “I agree, equality is about leveling the playing field to the point where the effect is that everybody has equal opportunity. Sometimes that means disproportionately limiting the rights of the historically oppressive groups in order to promote equality among all groups. But, equality should be measured based on the effects. And in this case, it has and the effect of allowing more girls to be a part of the competitive team.”

Yeah, it has the effect of allowing girls to be part of the competitive team because they get DOUBLE THE PRACTICE TIME.  Give boys the same amount of time and let’s just see how many girls can compete.  You’re not winning girls if you’re CHEATING.

And what the everloving fuck is up with calling 12 YEAR OLD BOYS oppressive?  What.  The.  Fuck? I can’t even get my head around that.  They are children.  They want to play hockey.  They want to play good, fast, skilled, fun hockey.  And The Oppressors are forced to play against girls who get double the ice time, with no option to play in a boy’s only league.

That’s equality?

Nope.  It’s bullshit.  Straight up fear of men and boys, with the game rigged to make sure the boys are crippled at the starting gate.  That’s not winning, ladies.  And parents who allow their girls to take advantage of such an unfair preference are guilty of sucking as parents and as human beings.  How on earth do you tell Suzy to lace up for her sixth practice of the week, while Tommy sits on the bench, having finished his three practices yesterday?  How do you condone such blatant discrimination?

“Oh sorry, Tommy.  You see Suzy and Jenny and Hannah actually suck at this game, and the only way to give them a shot at beating you and Johnny and Steve is to let them practice WAY MORE THAN YOU.  And that son, is called fairness.”


I hope the girls are ready to meet these boys on the ice in a few more years when suddenly Tommy and Johnny won’t be little boys anymore.  Let’s see how Suzy does against Tommy when he’s six foot two and two hundred pounds.


Enjoy your game now, Suzy.  It’s been rigged to let you play.  But boys become men and men will fight back.  Count on it.

Payback is gonna be a bitch.


Lots of love,


2 Responses to “Girls only league? OK! Boys only league? No way, you sexist pig!”

  1. Friday Drunk December 4, 2012 at 00:03 #

    I have seen this discrimination since I was a kid. I remember when the Boy Scouts turned into Scouts Canada, and admitted girls. I really did not care. But always questioned why guys cannot be Brownies or Guides (not that I wanted to be one).

    When I played hockey against women players, it was an unwritten rule that you do not hit them. High school wrestling, you had to take it easy on them. They show these television shows where women compete equally, and out fight or beat the males. However, if they showed the male just turning around and clocking the female, people would be flipping out.


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