Slouchy hats for hookers!

4 Dec

True story:  this just happened.

Okay, so we live in a small town in a rather remote part of the country and most of the principal industries around here are based in the natural resources sector.  Lots of men who work out of town, make very good money and who are looking for company when they have a few days off and come into town.

So obviously, we have a “strip” populated by quite a few street walkers, which happens to be very near our comfortable family neighborhood.  The strip is the most direct connection to our central shopping district, and most of the ladies around here will deliberately walk the long way to the shopping area because they want nothing to do with the hookers.


Goodness ladies, prostitution isn’t contagious!

I, on the other hand, have no problems with the ladies who work the strip and I actually prefer to walk that road because the cars are moving slowly and there are very few pedestrians so I can strap on my trainers and go stomping about at very high speed.  Brisk walking is my preferred form of exercise.  It’s free and doesn’t require anything in the way of fancy equipment or gym memberships and it feels great!


So today I was off to pick up some groceries to make chicken birvani for dinner tonight, travelling down the strip as usual.  However, it is quite chilly out today, so I was wrapped up warmly in a red flannel coat, with red mittens and my super favourite totally cute red slouchy hat (too much red, maybe?), wearing flannel lined jeans and winter boots.  Dressed for the weather, in other words.  As I was walking, a man pulled up next to me in a pick-up truck and asked if I wanted a ride.

I thanked him profusely, explained that I enjoyed a brisk walk in cold weather and told him it was very kind of him to offer to drive me, and he gave me a bit of a strange look and then went on his way.  I was warming myself with thoughts about how great it is to live in a small town where strangers will offer to pick you up on a cold day and give you a ride when it finally dawned on me:


My first reaction was to find it terribly amusing.  Kind of awesome, really.  Hey, he had a selection of ladies to pick from, and he picked me!  That’s kind of flattering.


My second thought was to think OF COURSE he thought I was a hooker:  I was on the strip and it’s cold and obviously everyone is going to be wrapped up warm.  Working girls can’t very well parade around in miniskirts and tube tops when it’s -20C.  They would freeze to death.  On a cold day it becomes obvious:  prostitutes are just people and you can’t tell the difference between them and anyone else when everyone is wearing flannel jeans and hats.

As I was strolling down the street after the gentleman’s offer, I started looking at the women out there with me.  And we all looked more or less the same.  I passed one girl wearing a slouchy hat very similar to mine and thought : CUTE!  Was she a hooker?  I don’t know.  Maybe.  Who cares?  She’s just a person living her life and keeping her head warm with a darling hat.


What she is and how she makes her living is no one’s business but her own:  her body, her choice.  Don’t think so?  Why not let women who work in the sex industry speak for themselves?


JudgyBitch basically doesn’t know shit about Twitter, but I think I’ve started a #slouchyhatsforhookers feed, where you can post pictures of yourself in your cutest winter hat as way of showing your support for all the ladies who are working on cold streets.

You can also show your support by reading Maggie Mcneill’s blog, The Honest Courtesan at

No matter why or how or under what circumstances a woman comes to be working on the street, she is still a person deserving of love and respect and care and warmth.  Don’t assume you know anything about her – you don’t.  Prejudice and fear of sex workers is the main thing that makes their job dangerous and stigmatized.

Don’t be one of those assholes who makes life hard for women claiming the right to determine the value of their own bodies.  It’s none of your business. Unless you care to avail yourselves of her services.  In which case, don’t haggle, dude.  Just pay the lady. Especially on a cold day.  And if you accidentally mistake a woman in a red coat for a working girl, don’t worry about it.  It was the hat.

Because nothing looks cuter in the cold than a slouchy hat.  Slouchy hats for hookers everywhere!


Lots of love,


12 Responses to “Slouchy hats for hookers!”

  1. Vicky December 4, 2012 at 23:55 #

    The problem with prostitution is that the choice to become a prostitute is rarely made autonomously. Prostitutes are typically working for a pimp, financing a drug addiction, or there is some other extenuating circumstance that leads them to turn tricks for money. The life of a prostitute is usually far from a sovereign decision.

    Additionally prostitution also projects the assumption that sex is an entitlement, everyone is simply entitled to sex by just paying for it. Legalizing prostitution would be a poor reflection of our government’s view on women and their purpose in society. Instead of protecting life and the sanctity of sexuality, legal prostitution sends the dangerous message that sex is a commodity you should pay market price for. The lines of rape can become blurred because any rapist could be deemed innocent if he left enough dough afterwards. From a public safety standpoint, prostitution spreads sexual disease, leads to drug addictions, and creates more bastard children, some of the few reasons why society stigmatizes sluts both paid and unpaid.

    If sex is something that is so casual that you yourself wouldn’t mind your husband paying for on the side, what is the incentive to not be a slut, isn’t fidelity the benefit of true love?

    Do you really think society would be better off if prostitution were legal? How about pimps, should they be legal too?


  2. judgybitch December 4, 2012 at 23:56 #

    Oh Vicky. You need to read Maggie Mcneill. Everything you just wrote is dead wrong.


  3. Andrei December 5, 2012 at 00:21 #

    Something you pay for is not an entitlement ( ).
    Prostitution is simply consensual sex ( which therefore cannot be confused with rape ) in exchange for money.
    Interestingly enough, even chimpanzees do it ( )

    I’m also certain that there are both men and women far more effective at spreading sexual diseases than any prostitute ever will be 😉

    If it were legal, the pimp situation you describe would no longer be an issue (it could be state regulated, subject to health / safety / work standards inspections, and taxed).

    But hey, i’m sure we shouldn’t overlook the FACT that it’s probably some mean man somewhere that is behind the whole thing right ? ( like those evil chimps 😀 )


  4. vicky December 5, 2012 at 05:20 #

    I wasn’t blaming men….pimps can be females too but happen to not usually be. Living in a neighborhood plagued by prostitutes both domestic and clearly internationally trafficked sex slaves (Brooklyn NY) most of the women walking the streets or behind closed doors are not making the autonomous decision to prostitute themselves. Maybe in sheltered suburban neighborhoods things are different and college graduates go on to become courtesans, but where I’m from drivers don’t confuse pedestrians and hookers because hookers aren’t wearing cute slouchy hats no matter how low the temperature dips. Legalizing prostitution will not get rid of pimps, hookers would still give their wages to their pimp daddies and would most likely continue to work off the books. Prostitutes already break the law every time they collect money for selling their bodies, what makes you think they would really start adhering to legislative regulation and paying taxes? HA!

    Entitlement is also provided through agreement or contract -like if i pay you i’m entitled to sex, but i guess the better word is guarantee.

    Chimps also eat their feces…should we adopt that practice too?


  5. princesspixiepointless December 5, 2012 at 10:19 #

    Greetings Vicky, I can completely see your point about not all sex workers being mistaken for suburban housewives in cute slouchy hats. I have been mistaken for a prostitute on more than one occasion, and my general reaction, has not been one of flattery, but of ‘what the fucking fuck?” My steel toed boots, ball cap and work pants, didn’t really scream, “looking for a fun time”. However, where i was working nights at the time, was above a sex shop, so being outside of that shop in the middle of the night, certain assumptions were made. Prostitutes or sex workers have different uniforms. Depending on the level that they are working. There is a huge difference between being a street walker, catering to curb crawlers and a crack habit, than those women that sit in brothels waiting for their white collar clientele. In my journey, most of the pimps I have met have been women. That has not in anyway changed the demeaning way they treat their products for sale. As for the legalizing aspect. That is a tough one, many cities and countries have tried to create loop holes, in order to give some type of protection to the men and women that work as prostitutes. I think the idea is to decriminalize the profession. It is not about paying taxes. If the government thought it could make any tax profit off of prostitution it would have been made legal years ago. Regarding your comment that, “most of the women walking the streets or behind closed doors are not making the autonomous decision to prostitute themselves. “ that again, I feel depends on what city, country and economical standing you start from. Many of the Thai prostitutes I have met, don’t really make an autonomous choice, they make a choice between working in a factory their entirely lives and coming out with nothing, or coming over to a 1st world country, normally paying £29,000 for a British Passport, to then have the economic power, to be able to purchase housing and food for their family and extended family back home. So often their may be choice, but it is a choice between two evils.


  6. Sphere Grrrls December 6, 2012 at 00:41 #

    JB, Maggie Mcneill is just one type of sex worker. Yes of course there will be *some* adult women who autonomously make that decision and work pimp-free. Surely you are not suggesting that they are the overwhelming majority of sex workers world wide are you?

    The sex industry, including porn, is a huge grey area of conflicting motives and ambitions. For every “empowered” and “independent” adult that it claims, it claims many more vulnerable victims, including children.

    To show only one side of it and pretend that the seedy underbelly does not exist, or that the seedy underbelly is not somehow running the show, is disingenuous.

    Appearantly Holland has not ridden itself of this seedy underbelly even more than a decade after legalizing prostitution.

    At the same time if you read between the lines of the above article, you can clearly see that some fault lies with the mother mentioned in the beginning as well, and she is trying to assuage her guilt through activism.

    So the sex industry is a grey area, neither black nor white. For those of us who value clarity, its a no go, either way.

    (By the way, is “golden wrench” your alter ego?)


  7. Sphere Grrrls December 6, 2012 at 00:42 #

    “If it were legal, the pimp situation you describe would no longer be an issue (it could be state regulated, subject to health / safety / work standards inspections, and taxed).”

    That’s what the Dutch people thought too. But it didn’t quite work out that way;


  8. judgybitch December 6, 2012 at 02:03 #

    Nope. She’s my BFF of 20 years. Totally different person.


  9. culdesachero December 6, 2012 at 12:22 #

    Legalization would do a lot to protect women in vulnerable situations. Not many people go into prostitution because they couldn’t get into the med school that they wanted. You could never make it 100% safe, but you could make it 100 times better.

    Btw, you were basically cat-called for sex. Some would say that that gives you the right to physically assault the man.


  10. Ferrum Itzal April 4, 2014 at 03:43 #

    I’m very much interested in seeing prostitution legalized and the stigma removed. No harm can come from it, and it can only help those women “involuntarily” associated with the industry.

    Keeping it illegal is only hurting the ones we say we want to help.

    There are a lot of women in the world that would rather work in the sex industry (film, stage, street) than other industries, but don’t because of the stigma. It’s good money, generally clean and quiet, and a far sight better than working in a mill.


  11. Richard Sanford December 16, 2014 at 06:05 #

    You’re not the only one this has happened to 😉


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