Hate your son before he’s even born? Oh what a charming mother you’ll be!

11 Dec



Esther Walker, who writes for the Daily Mail is having a baby! Sadly, her baby is horribly deformed and has detectable, irreversible damage.  The baby will be “gross”, will have a strong inclination to “attack siblings with a stick”, “murder local wildlife” and will eventually go through a growth process that leads from “disgusting” to “boring and selfish”. The baby will have severe personality defects and engage in “dramatic weeing, endless reeling off of statistics, messiness and demands to kick around a football on freezing, dank Sunday mornings”.


Wow.  That is one hell of a set of defects! What disease does the baby have?


He’s a boy.


baby boy




And his mother hates him before he is even born.  She fears that he will be plain-speaking, love dinosaurs and be “yucky, noisy, smelly, boisterous and destructive”.

“Please, not a boy,’ I hissed at my sister Harriet. ‘If it’s a boy, I’ll just die. I can only deal with one man in my life… and sometimes that’s one too many.’”




That poor baby.  There’s not really very much to say to a woman so vile, is there?  Esther whinges about the fact that expressing her hatred for her unborn son is “taboo” without appearing to realize that it’s taboo because it’s fucking terrible.  What a singularly awful person.


This little boy really has only one hope in life: his daddy.  And how does daddy feel about his little son?  According to Esther, he’s not thrilled either, but I think we can take that with a wee grain of salt.  How on earth Giles (her husband) ended up married to such an appalling shrew is difficult to contemplate, but he’s married now, and if he wants to be in his children’s life in any meaningful way, he’s gonna have to suck it up.


Giles, this is all up to you now.  It seems that your wife plans on bringing this little boy into the world, even though she despises him, and I have some advice for you:




You’re going to have to go that extra mile with your little guy and protect him not only from the world, but from his mother, as well.  That’s incredibly sad, but appears to be true. To give your son the ammunition he will need to grow into a man, here are some things you need to do:




Bless him with your body.  In all likelihood, your son will know fairly early on that his mother doesn’t care for him and finds him “deeply suspicious”.  Hopefully, she will at least agree to feed him, but I wouldn’t count on it.




Spend lots of time with your son on your chest.  Carry him, snuggle him, stroke him, let him know that there is nothing shameful about a man’s body and that he is loved by YOU.  Do NOT let your awful wife chuck him in a cage and leave him to cry.  That is one of the very worst parenting decisions you can make.  Nothing in your son’s primal brain allows for that kind of neglect.  Babies are born utterly helpless and leaving them alone in the dark to cry themselves to sleep is beyond cruel and disgusting.  No doubt your wife will try to convince you this is some sort of necessary “training”, but if you want some insight into what kind of person you are married to, read her articles at the Daily Mail.


Let him fall asleep wrapped in your warm, strong embrace and let him wake up there, too.




He will learn that his desire to be strong so that he can protect is natural and valuable.  You will teach him that by protecting him, especially from his mother.


Let him explore. Your wife views your daughter as a fashion accessory.  Don’t think so? She wrote those exact words.  Not a person.  Not an individual.  An accessory.  Something to complement her latest handbag and shoes.  Jesus, Giles.  What the hell were you thinking?  Do not let her use your son this way.  Teaching him that he is nothing more than a device to make Mommy look better is setting him up to be used and abused by women all his life (is that what happened to you?).  Let him crawl through dirt, eat sand, play with worms and jump in puddles. He will be dirty and messy and not much use as a fashion accessory, but he will know that his need to explore and discover and investigate and manipulate the world is exactly what he SHOULD be doing.




Encourage your wife to work, a lot, and as far away from home as possible.  It’s too late to give your son a warm, loving, adoring mother, but you can protect your son by keeping him close to you and as far away from her as possible. If it means you have to make changes to your own career and occupation, do it.  Your son will only be little for a short period of time, and he needs you to be there for him.   You need to actively counter the idea that he is gross and vile and disgusting and selfish(yes, those are all words your wife used to describe her son), and show him that he is bold and strong and courageous and capable.  If you don’t, no one will.



Let him be who he is.  Not all little boys WANT to eat dirt and play in mud. Most of them do, but your son will come to you with a personality and some preferences already in place.  He could be a gentle, bookish boy who prefers to be indoors with his kitten and a cup of tea.  And that’s fine.  Whatever he is, and whoever he is, he will learn to value himself as a person when YOU value him as a person. He is an extension of your genes and body, but not an extension of you.  Protect him and let him be who he is.



Little boys are sweet and funny and affectionate and tumbly.  They are also messy and boisterous and noisy and demanding.  You may have little warrior or a gentle poet, a great explorer or a quiet lover of history and biography.  Whatever you have, you will eventually have a man. To be a good man, he’s going to need a good father.




Be that father, Giles.  Your son is counting on you.  And so are the rest of us.


Lots of love,




14 Responses to “Hate your son before he’s even born? Oh what a charming mother you’ll be!”

  1. Me December 11, 2012 at 14:09 #

    This almost made me cry. Baby boys are adorable.


  2. Erudite Knight December 11, 2012 at 16:01 #

    Its actually really, really sad that there is this ‘war on males’ that is unspoken but totally accepted. It took me 25 years to realize, and I WAS THE VICTIM of said hate. I can not imagine all the mental damage we are doing to generations of males.


  3. driversuz December 11, 2012 at 17:23 #

    It’s sad that the correct advice to this man is “Man Up and do more than your share,” but he signed on for that when he married a cold, shallow cunt. It’s up to him to make the best of it.

    I was thrilled beyond words to discover that the child inside me was a boy. All those years ago I had no idea why, but I was terrified by the thought of raising a girl in modern society. Two decades later I finally understand.


  4. judgybitch December 11, 2012 at 17:52 #

    I didn’t know what I was having for any of my children until they were born. And I’m really glad I did that. I didn’t have any preconceived ideas about who my child would be, because I didn’t know the most basic facts until they were in my arms. A wonderful surprise every time.

    I look at my son and he is the perfect combination of both me and my husband – he looks so much like my brother!

    I adore his little boy energy and enthusiasm. Can’t imagine my life without his full-on “boy” behavior. He’s such a little riot!


  5. Liz December 11, 2012 at 18:20 #

    That’s so awful.

    I’m surprised she showed her face in a photo! Imagine a man loudly and proudly proclaiming a similar hatred for his yet-to-be-born daughter. Strange world.


  6. gregariouswolf December 11, 2012 at 18:47 #

    I shed one manly tear at this post.


  7. judgybitch December 11, 2012 at 18:51 #

    It made my husband cry, too. You must be a very sweet man.


  8. gregariouswolf December 11, 2012 at 20:38 #

    So, I’m on my lunch break reading your post when my coworker Scott comes by my office just as I am blowing my nose.

    “Dude you OK?”

    “Yeah, must be the change in weather. Excuse me…”



  9. tj December 11, 2012 at 21:24 #

    This is one of the saddest things I’ve ever read. Makes me wonder what kind of “man” she’s married to. The only good things here are A) she’s honest about her hatred and B) I live in the states, so it’ll be difficult for our paths to ever cross.

    Giving my son an extra hug tonight


  10. Friday Drunk December 11, 2012 at 23:34 #

    If you do not want your baby to be a certain gender, then do not get pregnant. You know the odds are 50/50.


  11. judgybitch December 12, 2012 at 00:51 #

    Liz, you are absolutely right. Tomorrow, I’m going to post a gender reversal, just to show how awful this truly is.


  12. gregariouswolf December 14, 2012 at 00:24 #

    Hi Erudite Knight.

    I wouldn’t want to discourage a man from acknowledging when he is the victim in an abusive relationship, but I caution against men generally wallowing in the victim mentality. Most men are disinclined to playing the role of victim anyway, and makes identifying true victimization more difficult.

    I am appalled by Walker’s essay, but I do not personally feel victimized. To me, Walker’s attitudes remind me of anti-female sentiment in China or India. I’m sure you aware of all this, and I don’t need to go into details. Nor am I suggesting that Walker ever considered aborting her son based only on his gender.

    It’s bigotry, and it sucks. I give it a big fat raspberry.

    Oh, and I lost my composure at the picture of the boy with his cat. I thought I was good until that point. LOL


  13. mistuhgee May 21, 2014 at 12:54 #

    Proud father of three sons and one girl. I wish I’d had more daughters, but not less sons. I wish I could take her little boy and save her from the absolute monster of a mother and coward of a father he has. I’d never hit a woman, but I’d punch her hubby twice to make up for that bit of chivalry.


  14. mistuhgee May 21, 2014 at 12:56 #

    What happens we he is old enough to read his mom’s article? Does she NOT know that the internet is forever?


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