Little slut, little slut, where have you been? Have you been to London to see the Queen?

14 Dec

slut

(We at JB in NO WAY APPROVE of THIS photo nor in any way condone it’s content, it is to prove a point about how some parents give so little guidance to their daughters) 

L.V. Anderson, writing at Slate Magazine’s Double X blog wants to know what on earth could possibly be wrong with letting your teenage daughter dress like a slut!  After all, L.V. dressed like a slut and she turned out fine, if by fine you mean someone who spends “a good portion of my free time railing against the patriarchy over drinks with friends”, which, you know, is a pretty mentally balanced way to spend your time.

http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2012/12/13/why_do_teenage_girls_dress_like_sluts_because_they_re_teenagers.html

It’s funny how feminists insist we live in a “rape culture”, with rapists lurking everywhere! Rapists!  Not just one man!  ALL OF THEM!  Rape! Rape! Rape!  Aaaaand then they look at their teenage daughters dressed like sexy whores and think “hey sure, why not?”

http://jezebel.com/5967391/fuck-you-rape-culture?tag=Fuck-you-week

Rather like insisting we live in car theft culture and then deciding, hey, sure, I’m going to  leave my Porsche parked here with the doors open and the keys in the ignition and go shopping for two hours.  What can go wrong?

porsche

Jesus ladies, pick one.  First of all, we do NOT live in a rape culture.  What nonsense.  We live in a women hate each other so much they will not protect each other culture, and that is one of the saddest legacies of feminism. Feminism has taught women to hate men, to hate babies and to hate each other with a passion that eclipses the two former by a country mile.

http://judgybitch.com/2012/10/22/54/

It’s sad that PinkyPinkyPie cannot rely on her friends to help her make smart decisions, but the solution is not to throw my hands up and hand her a gift card to Victoria’s Secret.  Pinky is only 11 at the moment, and physically she is still a little girl, but there are other fifth and sixth grade girls at her school who are fully blossomed young women, and she sees and watches and listens to those girls and is starting to pick up a few important pieces of information that she really doesn’t know what to do with, because she is a LITTLE GIRL.

little girl

And Pinky WILL NOT be dressing like a slut until she is of an age to well and truly understand the power she wields with her sexuality and more importantly, the responsibilities and consequences that come along with that.  Now, make no mistake, I am not stupid. I KNOW that Pinky will eventually get her hands of some slutty piece of clothing, which she will cram into the bottom of her school bag and change into once she is at school, and that’s fine, because the whole time, she will thinking to herself “Holy shit!  I hope my Dad doesn’t see me in this!”  and she will be looking over her shoulder every second she wears said slutty clothing knowing that if Mom or Dad catch her, she will not be seeing her iPhone for a month and will be writing several lengthy essays on the concepts of responsibility and maturity.

slutty

And she will wear the slutty clothes anyway, but the idea that that clothing comes with some responsibilities will never be far from her mind. And that is ultimately what Mr. JB and I would like her to understand.  Signalling your sexuality through clothing (or hair or makeup or shoes or whatever) will elicit a RESPONSE, and it may not be the one you want.  Most 12 year old girls who look rather like women are still little girls in their own minds.  They don’t understand what they are saying when they leave the house in a see through shirt with their neon pink bra showing through.  They think they are saying “Pretty! Look at me! Flatter me!”, but it is completely and utterly ridiculous to believe that every boy and man they run into will be able to read their minds and know they are just little girls playing dress-up.

in trouble with dad

Those girls need guidance. They need parents to look out for them.  To look after them.  To love them. Girls, especially those growing up without the love of a man are going to be in special need of guidance, because they will have no example of what a man’s love SHOULD be.

http://judgybitch.com/2012/11/02/daddy-should-be-every-little-girls-first-love/

First thing:  DO NOT BUY YOUR DAUGHTER SLUTTY CLOTHES.  End of fucking story.  No way.  Absolutely not.  And do not let your daughter’s friends hang out at your house wearing slutty clothes.  Nu-uh.  Here’s a sweater, sweetheart.  Put it on.

sweater

Second thing:  CHOOSE GOOD ROLE MODELS.  There are lots of young women out there who are fierce and fabulous and wonderful and smart and accomplished and who can do all of that without looking like a whore.  Surround your daughter with those images.

salander taylor robyn katniss pink

Last thing:  DON’T DRESS LIKE A WHORE YOURSELF.  Unless you are one, in which case, carry on (maybe get dressed at work?). There is nothing more embarrassing or revolting than gorgeous 50 year old women dressed like they are 25, clinging to a youth long gone without seeming to realize the extraordinary beauty of a woman who has the wisdom and experience and cheerfulness of a life well lived.

emma demi

http://judgybitch.com/2012/10/24/beauty-will-always-matter-to-women-but-for-the-love-of-god-this-aint-beauty-ladies-just-stop-already/

As parents, you have an obligation to protect your daughter, even from her own worst impulses, and if your teenage daughter is like any other teenage daughter, her impulses will be BAD.  Depend on it.  Be there.  Counter them.  Take a stand. Insist.

And if she really pitches a fit, tell her she will have to spend every day dressed as if she’s going for tea with the Queen.  That will make yoga pants and a Lululemon hoody seem like a great compromise.

queen

And hey, yoga pants are hot!  You can be hot without being slutty.  Help her find the middle ground.  It’s your job.

yoga pants

Lots of love,

JB

9 Responses to “Little slut, little slut, where have you been? Have you been to London to see the Queen?”

  1. happycrow December 14, 2012 at 20:32 #

    Nothing to be done for the Jezebel rape-culture fetishists. They get off on their feelings of persecution and don’t understand men in the slightest, thus providing fuel for their little emotional woe-is-me highs. I dress the women in my life. I dress them REAL NICE. They look hot. And they can go anywhere they want without changing, either.

    Slutty and trashy don’t look good. They look slutty and trashy. Slutty is the anti-hot. Hot isn’t what you show off: it’s what you suggest at.

    Wish more women understood this.

    Like

  2. Flavia December 16, 2012 at 16:06 #

    Good post! I like your blog. Dressing slutty and being an instagram whore is very appealing and an easy way to get “net fame.” It’s very hard to resist for women in general who are, by nature, attention seeking and seduced by compliments.

    Like

  3. combs2jc December 26, 2012 at 21:41 #

    My daughter is 7, for the last three years I have been collecting books about being a teenage girl, about being a women, and biographies and autobiographies of women I view as good role models for my daughter (all kinds of women from all walks of life). My daughter loves reading and books just like dad (we take turns reading to each other). I am going to continue collecting these books and as she starts to get close to 10 years of age I will slowly start giving them to her. But it isn’t just books. We have a close father/daughter relationship (which her mother works hard to disrupt) we do talk and I always answer her questions. Sometimes I tell her she is not old enough yet. But we have already had a couple of “Remeber when you asked about X and I said you weren’t old enough? Well now I’ll explain it too you” conversations. She knows that when dad says not now it does not mean not ever. I will try to steer her away from bad decisions and the really big ones I will be a shield for her. But I also realize she needs to make a few bad decisions on her own to learn and grow up. When she does I am not going to say “see I told you” … but I will tell her I am sorry she went through that, she is still the joy of my heart, and I will share one of my screw ups so she will also learn life does not end with one screw up. Not easy being a weekend dad … but my daughter is worth every moment I get.

    Like

  4. combs2jc December 26, 2012 at 21:42 #

    PS I like the “dress as if you are going for tea with the queen comment”.

    Like

  5. Reggie January 14, 2013 at 22:43 #

    I always said that if I don’t know when my kids do something wrong, they are doing it responsibly.

    I had two rules for my teenagers:
    1) No cops.
    2) No grandchildren.

    Like

  6. wdodman January 14, 2013 at 22:44 #

    and Hello JB

    Like

  7. judgybitch January 14, 2013 at 23:00 #

    Hi! Welcome! Sorry about the language. It can get a little messy in this place.

    *not really sorry 😛

    Like

  8. Erudite Knight January 28, 2013 at 17:12 #

    Can you comment on how feminism has taught women to hate each other? To me it seems it has created a sisterhood of us-vs-them.

    Like

  9. Erik Norén October 21, 2013 at 18:02 #

    So, yogapants as regularwear isn’t slutty?

    Like

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