Scuttle back into your hole, Daddy. This Strong Single Mother ™ doesn’t even want your cash. Yet.

20 Dec



Want to lose your faith in humanity? Go and read today’s Dear Prudence column over at


It’s more of the same old story: evil, mean, bad MAN impregnates innocent, kind, loving WOMAN and she intends to keep the baby. Well, okay. That’s her right, and there is no getting around it. Women DO and MUST have complete sovereignty over their own bodies.


It’s actually a “friend” writing in to Prudie. The man in question sounds just lovely, too. He called MissInnocent “dirty” and he was “jealous” and he called her a “slut” and oh my! MissInnocent is clearly A) a genius for wanting to perpetuate THOSE genes, and B) obviously telling the complete and absolute truth because no woman ever lied to her friend when she wanted to keep a baby but ditch the Daddy in the trash heap.


So what is the dilemma? Well, MissInnocent isn’t sure whether she should just keep the pregnancy a secret and deny her child a father OR go ahead and rape Daddy for 18 years of child support. What to do, what to do? Prudie’s advice: keep the baby a secret. Prudie advises MissInnocent to tell her child “Mommy and Daddy didn’t know each other very well and she doesn’t know where Daddy is”. She ends by delightfully hoping “the father scuttles back into a hole and never gets wind of the amazing news”.


Scuttles. Back. Into. A. Hole.


Oh fuck you so hard, Prudie.


fuck you


Let’s start with Prudie’s unquestioning acceptance of the fact that the man in question is “bizarre, disturbed creep”. Imagine assuming that of COURSE he’s a drug-dealing, illiterate thug because he’s BLACK. It’s not much different to assume a complete character assassination is true, because hey, he’s a MAN. Even if the man in question IS a disturbed creep, can we at least not point out that MissInnocent is a fucking retard to want to bear this man’s child?




Second, the idea that fathers are nothing more than sperm donors who can be vanquished from their own children’s lives at the whim of a woman is completely and disgustingly cruel to the child in question. Children are not property. They are human beings with an absolute, inherent right to know their own origins and to have a meaningful relationship with the person who contributed HALF THEIR GENES. I’m speechless that this is even up for debate. Just tell your child you don’t know where Daddy is?




Oh, but Prudie, of COURSE we know where he is: scuttled in a hole. Christ. You fucking bitch.


Now let’s get to the real issue: should MissInnocent rape Daddy’s bank account for the next 18 years to support a child he may have ZERO interest in fathering? Let’s assume the pregnancy was unintended. It is up to MissInnocent to decide whether the child is born. MissInnocent has the power of life and death. She may kill that baby at any stage of the pregnancy, up to and including murdering that baby the day before she is due. It’s unfair, it’s cruel and there is NO WAY around that. MissInnocent MUST have that power.


So what power should the father have? Over HER body, none. Not one ounce. No way. What he should have power over is his OWN body, including the right to determine what he will do with the money and resources HIS OWN BODY produces. Whether he uses his mind or his brawn or both to generate income, that income is the direct result of the labor of his own body, and he MUST have the right to decide how to use that income. If MissInnocent wants to bear a child, she can bloody well do it with her OWN resources.


Yes, you read that correctly. CHILD SUPPORT SHOULD BE 100% VOLUNTARY.


No man should be able to force a woman to carry through a pregnancy she did not intend, does not want and has no intention of accepting responsibility for. And that’s a two way street. No woman should be able to force a man to use his body to pay for a child he did not intend, does not want and has no intention of accepting responsibility for.




That’s the price for women’s complete and total sovereignty over their own reproductive capacity. You may abort any baby, at any time, for any reason from your body. And the father can abort YOU, any time, for any reason, from his BANK ACCOUNT.




Want to end single motherhood? Make it ILLEGAL to compel men to pay for children they don’t want. How many single mamas will be hopping on the BabyDaddy train when the BabyDaddy can NOT be forced to provide a lifetime of cash benefits? Want to reduce the incentive to divorce for no particularly good reason? NO CHILD SUPPORT. The children go to the parent who can provide for them. End of story.


Oh my! Why, that would mean that DADDY would almost always get custody.




But, but, but … then we would have to agree that FATHERS are just as important as mothers. Well, we can’t have that, can we?


The hell we can’t. Dear Prudence would never be able to get away with such hate expressed towards a religious group, an ethnicity, a racial group, gays or lesbians, disabled people, ANYONE AT ALL, really. Except MEN.


Unacceptable. Fuck you Prudie. And fuck every woman who reads that crap and thinks it’s just peachy advice. What can you do about it? You can donate to the fastest growing political cause in the West.




And you know what? It’s not even about the FATHER’S rights. At the end of the day, every child has a RIGHT to grow up knowing their own fathers, the vast majority of whom are decent, loving, wonderful men who will shelter them with love, guide them with respect and teach them with honesty and intelligence. Oh, does that surprise you?


Ask yourself why. Don’t think feminism has taught our culture to hate men? Then think carefully about WHY the idea that men are kind, decent, loving, wonderful and worthy of respect seems like such an odd thing to say. It was easier to believe the disturbed creep story.


And as for MissInnocent, here’s some advice: think about that child. Not yourself, not your friends, not the cute little outfits you plan to buy for the baby to wear to daycare because you won’t survive without a partner to support you financially. Think about the BABY. And know that if you DENY her a father, if you raise him alone, you have significantly reduced his or her chances to have anything approaching a decent life.


You get to decide if you want to be a mother. But no matter what little lies you spin in your own twisted mind, your child has a FATHER. All children do. I wouldn’t count on him scuttling into any holes.




Lots of love,







6 Responses to “Scuttle back into your hole, Daddy. This Strong Single Mother ™ doesn’t even want your cash. Yet.”

  1. nightskyradio December 21, 2012 at 12:06 #

    Here’s a fun one for sovereignty. It’s a different angle than what you wrote about, but I can see it going south in any number of ways.

    Funny thing is, i kinda don’t disagree with it. Sort of.


  2. Allie December 23, 2012 at 03:41 #

    Hot damn you are one smart woman. So agree.


  3. Frank James Spencer December 23, 2012 at 13:45 #

    Bring on the male pill.


  4. ladysadie1 January 24, 2013 at 14:16 #

    Yes, yes, yes. Thanks for writing this!


  5. Anonymous January 28, 2013 at 07:53 #

    This argument is obsurd.

    Using your argument, the man should have the right to know he is a dad, be around, but not be forced to take on any of the responsibilities of fatherhood. All the joy, none of the work.

    I do think child support is a very useful tool in reminding a man just how much work and sacrifice goes into raising children. I get about $500/month in support. I would turn down child support from the dad in a heartbeat if I could hire a full time nanny for $500/month out of my own pto do all the hard work while I went out with friends, got a full nights sleep, and then

    My son’s father pays child support because he is an equal factor in creating our son. If he WANTED joint custody I would let him have it.


  6. Liam September 11, 2013 at 18:02 #

    I don’t think your situation is quite the one JB was talking about, in a number of ways. Of course, I could be mis-reading her (or you), but as I understand both of you:

    First, JB is discussing unwanted children. I think it sounds likely that yours was not unwanted, and that the relationship going south happened some time after you mutually agreed to have children. You could no more abort your born-and-growing child in that situation than you could fly to the moon unassisted, and so the argument that Men should have the same right to control their body and their lives goes away.

    Second, assuming I can take you at your word, if in the above situation HE has decided to absent himself from the child’s life and from joint custody, then it is reasonable for him to at least cover his portion of a shared responsibility he OPTED INTO. Or at least, that’s less odious to me than the situation I perceive JB to be talking about.

    Now, whether or not my take on your situation is correct (I’ll admit I’m reading between the lines on a few items and may be jumping to a false conclusion), I don’t think JB suggested that the father should have the right to be around AND have no responsibilities. Just like you can’t choose not to abort your child nor give it up for adoption and then still have no responsibilities for it. I perceive JB to be suggesting that if a woman can control her life and her body for 9 months and 18 years beyond that, then a man should have some control over his body and his life for those same 18 years. And if he had that right, if he had the right to say “I don’t want this child” and you knew that you were not going to get any support (nor interference) from him for life, you’d then be able to use that information in deciding whether to put up for adoption, or abort, your child. On the other hand, if he says “Yes, I want to be a part of that child’s life”, then of course he has an obligation to live up to his responsibilities (and should have the right to be an equal part in the child’s life).

    Choice and responsibility go hand in hand, and you can either say that you each make a choice by opting to have sex, or you can say that you each have the option to make a choice later, if there’s an unintended result. You don’t get to say “I get the choices later, but mf-er made his when he screwed me.”

    And by the way, if a couple discusses, BEFORE engaging in sex, their intentions if a baby results (as all couples should but most don’t), then all of this goes out the window anyway. If you’ve agreed that you’ll abort, or not abort, or adopt out, or keep, any pregnancy and resulting child which ensues from your behavior, then everyone knows what to expect, and if the agreement is that you’re both against abortion and aren’t willing to adopt out, then yes, both parties bear responsibility.

    JB: I certainly don’t mean to speak for you, if I’ve misunderstood or misrepresented anything you said, please feel free to tell me I’m full of it.


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