Single, Sane, Hot: Which one should you give up?

30 Dec

 

 

I went to see the Silver Linings Playbook yesterday, and what a fantastic movie! Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence are just fabulous together. I found the story rather interesting, too.

 

Spoilers ahead, folks.

 

Cooper plays Pat, an undiagnosed bi-polar guy who found his wife in the shower with another man, snapped, and nearly beat the interloper to death. Instead of jail time, he was sent to a psychiatric facility where he steels his resolve to earn his wife back. She has a restraining order against him, but he wants to become a different person so they can continue what sounds like a perfectly horrid marriage. Nikki (the wife) cheated on Pat, and Pat wonders what he can do better?

 

Oh lord.

 

Pat meets Tiffany, a young widow whose husband was killed in a traffic accident. She is extremely gorgeous, but has some kind of depressive/anxiety disorder herself, and is given to commit random acts of whoreishness.

 

tiffany

 

The rest of the movie explores the relationship between wingnut families (Robert DeNiro as the patriarch of this bag of crazy is great!) and how and why certain people are considered dangerously cracked and other people are not. Really, Tiffany is just socially awkward and a little impulsive, while her sister is a straight up Emasculating Shrew of Biblical Proportions, and guess which one comes across as mentally unstable?

 

deniro

 

I loved the movie and found the ending very satisfying and I hope Jennifer wins the Oscar for her performance, but I left the theatre thinking about all the single men I know, and how often I have heard them recount dating stories ending with the aphorism: Single, sane, hot. Pick two.

 

Which one should you sacrifice? Ask any woman this question and she will say “hot”, of course. Men aren’t supposed to like women for their looks. Young women have been pedalled a myth that men’s interest in women’s physical appearance is evidence for the fact that men are shallow, stupid, brutes and that any man worth having will not care about how a woman looks. He will care about her mind, her personality, her accomplishments, her ambition, her intelligence blah blah blah. The categories are not mutually exclusive, ladies. Men like all those things, but they like how you look first and foremost.

 

gorgeous

 

Men who report the greatest degree of satisfaction with their partners have partners who weigh less than them. Being a little chubby chick doesn’t mean you will die alone with your cats (being a bitchy chubby chick is another story), but it does mean that the only men likely to be happy with you are those that weigh MORE than you do.

 

http://news.discovery.com/human/thinner-wife-happier-marriage-110725.html

 

If you’re in for long term happiness, then giving up hot is a big mistake.

 

What about the single part? Yeah, she needs to be single. Completely single. No encumbrances of any kind.

 

http://judgybitch.com/2012/11/11/dating-single-mothers-just-say-no-a-note-for-all-the-single-dudes/

 

So that leaves sane. Is this what you should sacrifice? Well, there’s crazy and then there’s really fucking batshit insane. You obviously don’t want that, no matter how hot she is. This is where we come back to the movie. Pat seems like a lunatic to me and I would never have lasted one date with a guy like that, and Tiffany is awkward and weird, but together, they just work.

 

pat and tiff

 

At the end of the day, we’re all just a little bit crazy, aren’t we? The trick is to find the crazy that works for you.

 

Lots of love,

 

JB

 

 

 

 

16 Responses to “Single, Sane, Hot: Which one should you give up?”

  1. princesspixiepointless December 30, 2012 at 19:27 #

    So funny, so true, (except the always pick someone hot thing, you should always pick someone you think is hot, it can be subjective, but anyhoo). Mr.PPP definitely picked hot and batshit crazy, he saw in me the full on crazy with the possibility of time making me not so bat shit crazy and maybe not so hot. Which worked out pretty well for everyone. I haven’t set anything on fire in nearly a decade! lots of love PPP.

    Like

  2. Erudite Knight December 30, 2012 at 19:33 #

    Young women have been pedalled a myth that men’s interest in women’s physical appearance is evidence for the fact that men are shallow, stupid, brutes and that any man worth having will not care about how a woman looks. –

    While utterly true, women have absolutely NO compunction about using said looks to blackmail bribes, favors, money, or anything else out of males.

    God…and they wonder why any man would be mad at the injustice.

    Like

  3. Liz December 30, 2012 at 20:35 #

    There are different kinds of nutters. Nutter fun and nutter not-fun. Nutter fun is awsome, just the right amount of edgy to keep things interesting. Nutter not-fun drives everyone else batshit.

    Nutter fun can turn into nutter not-fun though, especially if she is “good for sport but not good for ‘make house’ (as my Italian relatives would say).

    Nutter fun who is also “good for make house” is a rare find indeed. I’m sure you’re in that group PPP. 😉

    Like

  4. princesspixiepointless December 30, 2012 at 21:22 #

    Thank you Liz! Although it’s taken me years to learn how to ‘make good house’ I think the journey has been hilarious and little bear and Mr.PPP enjoy my not so conventional ways. Thanks for the love Liz. Happy new year to you and thank you for your continuing support to judgybitch. x

    Like

  5. gregariouswolf December 31, 2012 at 01:34 #

    Hot, smart, or sane.

    Pick any two.

    Like

  6. judgybitch December 31, 2012 at 02:36 #

    You don’t care about single? Really? Do tell.

    Like

  7. gregariouswolf December 31, 2012 at 03:13 #

    Ha, no that’s not what I meant. Single is a given. I’ve used the very same “pick two out of three” joke a lot. Back when I was in information technology your new computer system could be cheap, fast, or highly available. Pick any two.

    I actually put that in a dating profile once and got an email telling me I was too cynical.

    Like

  8. Luke December 31, 2012 at 15:58 #

    MinnesotaSmith here. Old aphorism that (IMO inadequately) defends picking nutso to date: “Crazy in the head, crazy in bed”. If only…

    Like

  9. Anonymous December 31, 2012 at 16:04 #

    Heh, the one I’m familiar with for military tech is cheap, fast, good…pick any two.
    My husband thought your quote hilarious, btw. Yeah I’m a bit nutty.

    Like

  10. princesspixiepointless December 31, 2012 at 16:32 #

    From Liz (via PPP)
    Heh, the one I’m familiar with regarding military tech is ‘cheap, fast, good…pick any two.
    My husband thought your quote hilarious, btw. Yeah I’m a bit nutty.

    Like

  11. princesspixiepointless December 31, 2012 at 16:33 #

    Hey Liz, has that sorted it? Tried to do it from my phone a few minutes back, have now deleted from the computer.

    Like

  12. gregariouswolf December 31, 2012 at 17:00 #

    Yeah, the joke is placing dating in the context of an engineering design trade-off. There are always competing goals of functionality versus budget, or functionality versus reliability/maintainability. Part of engineering is coming up with a solution that satisfactorily meets a number of design specifications, some of which are diametrically opposed.

    So, to put dating in this context: When a woman puts on her online dating profile that she won’t settle, that she wants the total package, what he is saying is she is throwing constraints out the window. She wants it all.

    Is this realistic? Everybody wants what they want. I want what I want. I’d like to find a girl such that we find each other irresistibly sexy, we agree intellectually on life goals and have similar interests, and we are compatible emotionally and don’t have personality disorders or bust boundaries or otherwise drive each other over the deep end.

    Is this too much to ask? Am I throwing constraints out the window?

    Like

  13. judgybitch December 31, 2012 at 17:14 #

    Nobody gets everything. I think you need to consider what needs you can have met safely outside of your marriage.

    I love books and literature. My husband could not give a shit. Doesn’t want to read books, doesn’t want to talk about them. I could have a nice sulk about how he doesn’t love me enough to read Pride and Prejudice, or you know, join a book club!

    Here are needs you can’t easily get met outside your family: sex and money.

    You have to have compatible sexual drives and agree on what to do with money.

    I honestly think if those two things are aligned, everything else is superfluous.

    Like

  14. Liz December 31, 2012 at 18:53 #

    Yes, PPP…thanks so much! 🙂

    Like

  15. LJBiFed! March 25, 2013 at 17:36 #

    “Which one should you sacrifice? Ask any woman this question and she will say “hot”, of course. Men aren’t supposed to like women for their looks. Young women have been pedalled a myth that men’s interest in women’s physical appearance is evidence for the fact that men are shallow, stupid, brutes and that any man worth having will not care about how a woman looks. He will care about her mind, her personality, her accomplishments, her ambition, her intelligence blah blah blah. The categories are not mutually exclusive, ladies. Men like all those things, but they like how you look first and foremost.”

    From my experience its the same with women. We like to feel pleasant and not revolted when looking at our men. Looks is what we notice first. Of course for a serious relationship like marriage, other factors must be there, but there is a physicality baseline or threshold that neither men nor women are willing to go under when in it for the long haul.

    He doesn’t have to be an Adonis but the Hunchback of Notre Dame won’t get far.

    At least be easy on the eyes!

    Like

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