Sabrina, if you don’t want to be defined by your breasts, you’re doing it wrong!

6 Jan

This is Sabrina:

sabrina 2

She is a terrible person, who has started an internet meme that expresses hatred for women, disgust with normal human sexuality and a deep and abiding shame about her own body.  Sabrina, you see, would like to live in a world where she is defined by more than just her breasts.  I know, I know.  What a stupid little tart.  Doesn’t she know that modern woman = slut = power = check out these titties!


Oh, Sabrina.  Your boobs don’t go in your shirt, they go out on display, but remember to always watch out for rapists and shriek mightily if anyone ever NOTICES your tits hanging out all over the place.  Now all you breastfeeding ladies, don’t get excited.  Your breasts are disgusting and revolting and feeding a baby is just gross and probably really unnatural, so put your tits away, please.  This doesn’t concern you.


Sabrina sparked a bit of a trend, with other young women expressing discomfort with a wider culture that encourages them to spread their legs, wear skanky clothes and slather their faces with make-up.  You see, some young women do not like slut culture and hate being lumped in with peers who have embraced the whole “your worth can only be measured by your whore rating” .




Now let’s be clear.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with a young woman understanding the value of her sexuality and deciding to exchange it for straight up cash.  A young woman who appreciates the costs and freely chooses to be a prostitute has every right to do so, but there is a huge problem with young women who want to take full advantage of the benefits of sexuality without living up to any of the responsibilities or meeting any of the obligations that sexuality entails.

And what are those responsibilities and obligations?  When you deliberately provoke a reaction in the people around you in the hopes of capitalizing on that reaction, you accept the possibility that the reaction may be more intense or powerful than you imagined.  You also accept that the people around you may decide to provoke their own reactions using the assets they have available to them.  When a young woman deliberately and overtly displays her sexuality in the form of make-up, clothing, attitude,  voice, mannerisms and demeanor, she needs to understand that the objects of her provocation will RESPOND.

Male sexuality is profoundly different than women’s. It is, at the very heart, a very aggressive kind of sexuality.  Women want attention, admiration, to be desired and yearned after.  Walking around with your cleavage spilling out of a Victoria’s Secret bra and your lips painted glossy red is a sure way to get those things, but you are playing with a sexuality that wants far more than just that.  Slut culture posits that female sexuality, and the advantages that can be accrued thereby, are morally and culturally superior to a more base, male sexuality.  Male sexuality is curtailed, castrated and derided as crude, rude and increasingly, illegal.

Young women like Sabrina are saying “hold up!  I’m okay with interacting socially on the basis of something OTHER than sexuality”, although that is never really an option.  Platonic relationships between men and women are historical anomalies, and the current of sexual possibility is never far from the surface of the relational waters.

Sabina and her ilk are accused of “slut-shaming” because they dare to suggest that maybe breasts are sexually suggestive and it’s a good idea to display them judiciously or maybe not at all, that a woman’s value is determined by something other than spreading her legs, that clothing makes a statement and has an impact on other people and that we are responsible, at least in part, for ensuring that we understand the consequences of our sartorial choices.

If I wore this item of clothing, I would expect to get a reaction:


I would furthermore expect that reaction to be really BAD.  That’s a no-brainer.  But I should be able to wear this and expect NO reaction:

not asking

Well, darling, if you are not asking for “it”, what are you asking for?  To live in a world where no one has any reaction to anything anyone else is doing, ever?  I’m not saying you’re delusional, sweetheart, but I hope you brought extra cotton candy for your unicorn, because it could be a long night.


In Magical Princess Fairytime Sparkly World, women can walk around bare ass naked at all times, plastered out of their minds and no one will touch them ever or say anything suggestive or even acknowledge that they exist.  Evidently, there are no men in Magical Princess Fairytime Sparkly World.  Hmmmm. Could that be the point?


Here in the real world, people exists and they have drives and desires and will respond to stimuli and not always in a way you might like.  In this world, you will do well to be aware of the people around you, take notice of the impact you are having and deploy some strategies to make certain you are perceived in a way that values you as a person in your own right.

In this world, your boobs?  They go in your shirt.

Lots of love,



PS:  Sabrina, you are a doll!

14 Responses to “Sabrina, if you don’t want to be defined by your breasts, you’re doing it wrong!”

  1. EmanTheDesperateHouseboy January 6, 2013 at 18:44 #

    Uh, @Judgy.Bitch–

    Don’t mind her…she’s defining her own beauty with her own arrogance and obnoxious ‘princess’ mentality just so that she can feed her own self-serving skank-a-holic ‘ego’. I’m not gonna fall for that #SLUT shit anymore!

    Women say: #WE GIVE NO FUCKS!
    Men say: #WE TAKE NO SLUTS! \m/



  2. culdesachero January 6, 2013 at 19:13 #

    The whole slut shaming argument is based on the assumption that guys can act like sluts with no negative consequences so girls should be able to as well, which is just ridiculous. Of course, the consequence for slutting it up is not nearly as severe for guys, but that doesn’t mean it is nothing. Slutty guys get reputations. They leave a wake of angry ex-boyfriends and brothers making it harder to maintain other relationships with friends and family. Then, if he decides to ever settle down and the girl of his dreams finds out that he slept with half of the girls she knows, he’s in another tough situation. Besides, who wants to commit their whole lives and devote their future sexuality to someone who sleeps around so easily?
    Encouraging girls to slut it up and refusing to allow anyone to judge or shame sluts for their detrimental behaviour is simply causing more pain.
    Acting and dressing slutty has a long term cost. It’s like driving an exotic sports car. You might be having fun, but, eventually the costs for repairs, speeding tickets and fuel mileage wear you down. If you don’t notice before it is too late, you’re going to hurt yourself long term.

    I hope Sabrina can start a trend back to respectable behaviour for young women.


  3. Keanu January 6, 2013 at 19:59 #

    My sister, who works at an irish pub, did an experiment recently and found that she makes almost twice as much as a server when she wears a skirt and looks nice. It was an ‘aha’ moment for her.

    My GF said when she used to work as a cocktail waitress she made twice as much when she wore a pushup bra.

    Let’s see how Sabrina feels about her breasts once she has student loans to pay off and can’t find a job!


  4. princesspixiepointless January 6, 2013 at 20:06 #

    Keanu, i can see where you are coming from. Ive worked in pubs & clubs. I think that as a very young girl, it’s nice that she isn’t buying into the be a slut, get a footballer or WAG ideology. Although, my only knowledge of her is what JB just posted.


  5. happycrow January 6, 2013 at 22:09 #

    These are, I assume, the same women who are bitching the loudest as men of their generation disengage from dealing with women at all? And who then cry rivers on Jezebel because no man will give her the time of day? Maybe I’m just old now, but even as a younger, hornier thing, my response to slutwalks was always something on the lines of “good thing, babe, ’cause you sure ain’t gonna be getting it from ME.”

    Show me a world in which men are NOT sexually aggressive, and I’ll show you a world in which straight women are slitting their wrists left and right.


  6. judgybitch January 6, 2013 at 22:36 #

    Exactly! They want to dictate all the terms, all the time. And then they hate all the pansy ass boy men.

    Well pick one, darlin’!


  7. Ami January 6, 2013 at 23:53 #

    I saw the ‘still not asking for it’ photo on Facebook this week, accompanied by remarks from women of the ‘you go, girl’ and ‘yeah, rillly!!’ type.

    I know some of the women who posted those responses have daughters. It is utterly beyond me how they can think that crazy bitch is okay and what she is doing is right. I wondered in the comments section if their daughters went out of the house that way if it would be okay for them.

    I got shouted down.


  8. Anonymous January 7, 2013 at 08:20 #

    MinnesotaSmith here. The T-shirt about slavery is from the site, FWIW.


  9. Bailey January 7, 2013 at 15:34 #

    To the breastfeeding part its actually one of the most natural things out there. Formula on the otherhand is made in a lab and is all chemicals and isn’t as good for a baby as breastfeeding also do u know anything about this girl you just wrote about? NO! you are probably one of those girls with all they have are their looks……but don’t say something about topics you don’t know anything about.


  10. judgybitch January 7, 2013 at 15:45 #

    Oh Bailey, you silly cow.

    Do you know what irony is? How about sarcasm?

    In the past ten years, I have had three children, and I breastfed all of them for 2+ years.

    Try reading around the site a bit. You might learn something.


  11. Kai January 8, 2013 at 00:26 #

    I think the difference is that a waitress in a skirt and a pushup bra knows full well that she is providing a visual display in exchange for higher tips. She’s well aware of the effect she is having, and its benefits. She should also be aware of the possible downside that she could lose some respect from some people for it (not many these days), and that she needs to take care not to add too much suggestion to the visual one for her own safety.
    It sounds like the meme-poster was commenting on girls who just show it off all the time for the hell of it and expect no response, or it appeared to me a comment on girls who have nothing but cleavage shots all over the internet. I think you can comment on that without having an issue with the possibility of deliberate use of assets.


  12. sarah January 21, 2015 at 21:36 #

    of course men are sexually aggressive! that’s why it’s always been up to the woman to say ‘put a ring on it’.

    women are insane if they think the things they’ve changed will have no unintended negative consequences. their complete disregard for the obvious, innate differences between men and women is going to be the downfall of society as we know it eventually. so hopefully women pull their heads out of their asses (or, well, close their legs) sometime in the near future, for the sake of us all.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: