Hey married dudes! Want to have more sex? With your wife, I mean. STOP DOING HOUSEWORK!

31 Jan

File this one under “no shit Sherlock”, but it turns out that married couples who adhere to a gendered division of household labor have more sex than those who don’t.



Yep, it turns out that playing out traditional masculine and feminine roles has an impact on sexual desire, and therefore on sexual frequency. Guys who take out the garbage, mow the lawn, pay the bills and take care of the vehicles are getting laid 20 more times a year than the kitchen-bitches slaving over a hot stove.

kitchen bitch

And obviously, the inverse is true, too. Ladies who cook, vacuum, fold the laundry and make the kid’s dentist appointments are getting love 20 more times, too.


Why should this be? I have a theory: I think it has to do with respect. Feminism has spent a long time trying to convince both men and women that gender is socially constructed. That in and of itself is not a bad thing, necessarily. Stupid, but not bad. Where feminism went really wrong was to define femininity as POSITIVE, all the while ignoring the not so pleasant qualities associated with the feminine, while simultaneously defining masculinity as NEGATIVE, all the while ignoring the wonderful things about masculinity.


Feminism is straight up a theory of female supremacy.

Ladies rock! Men suck!


Of course by ladies, we mean white ladies, so don’t get excited, all you ladies of color. You are here to do all the shit-work the white ladies don’t want to do anymore. So get your mops and get at it.


Once you accept the premise that the feminine is a priori superior to the masculine, the plan of attack becomes quite obvious: men must become feminine or be forever defined as inferior and unworthy. It’s a tongue in cheek aphorism that feminists hate men, but of course, that’s not true. They love men. As long as men act like women.


Of course, Jezebel responded to the research, conducted at the University of Washington using a sample size of 4500 (that’s a good sample) with reason and rationality. They took a careful look at the data and then tried to come up with some hypothesis that might explain why couples following traditional gender roles might have increased sexual desire for one another.


Yeah, right. Nope. What they did was mock and ridicule the data, and then set up some kind of bullshit sexytime dollars, which is pretty rich, considering the data indicates that SEX is exactly what they won’t be getting. Well, not as often as the couples in the study who rejected the idea that women’s work is man’s work and the two are interchangeable.


Look at how they titled the piece: Cleanliness is next to manliness, which chores will get a man laid?

There you have feminism in a nutshell. Sex is something WOMEN give to MEN as a reward for doing whatever SHE defines as necessary.

Good dog!


Sex as an act of bonding, an expression of the deepest love and care, a mutually satisfying and pleasurable experience does not even occur to these women. Nope. Sex is a tool, a weapon, something you can use to coerce men into doing whatever shit these women want.

And oh my! We have a word for coerced sex. We do! I know it! It’s on the tip of my tongue. Give me a second…

Oh yeah!


Now isn’t that fascinating? A long time ago, a gorgeous, svelte, luscious lady, the pure embodiment of femininity, said that “all heterosexual sex is rape”.


By which she means MEN are raping WOMEN.

Here’s a new one for you: all sex with a feminist is rape. Women raping men.

Dudes, if you are getting laid tonight in exchange for cooking dinner or sweeping the floor or folding the laundry, AND YOU WOULD NOT OTHERWISE HAVE DONE THOSE THINGS, you are getting raped. Hey, lots of men love to cook, and good for them. The best cooks in the world are men # sorryfeminists.


But when you have been ordered into the kitchen by a sulky bitch who figures “it’s your turn and if you don’t do it, I won’t have sex with you”, then you sir, are being coerced, and that is rape. Down with rape culture!


No, I won’t cook dinner

No, I won’t vacuum

No, I won’t pick up all those fucking Barbie shoes

No, I won’t fluff the throw cushions

No, no, no!

Give the rape a pass, dudes. Traditional gendered division of labor is how you put more sex into your relationship. Sex based on love and affection and respect and admiration and desire.

Take a page from Marilyn’s book:


Sex is a part of nature. I go along with nature.

Marilyn Monroe

Me, too!

Lots of love,


20 Responses to “Hey married dudes! Want to have more sex? With your wife, I mean. STOP DOING HOUSEWORK!”

  1. mikebuchanan1957 January 31, 2013 at 15:48 #

    Great stuff. Given that feminists invariably become miserable wives soon after marrying – unless, of course, they marry manginas – you have to wonder why any feminist would ever choose to marry, other than to make a heap of money when the inevitable divorce comes along. But there’s another possible explanation, I offer you a quotation from my upbeat critique of the institution of marriage, ‘The Fraud of the Rings’. It was uttered by American comedienne Rita Rudner:

    ‘I love being married. It’s great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.’

    A differing view from Percy Bysshe Shelley, in the notes to ‘Queen Mab’:

    ‘A system could not well have been devised more studiously hostile to human happiness than marriage.’

    Ending on a lighter note, this from Woody Allen:

    ‘My wife was an immature woman… I would be home in the bathroom, taking a bath, and my wife would walk in whenever she felt like it and sink my boats.’

    Mike Buchanan



  2. Liz January 31, 2013 at 16:07 #

    I read an article about that study yesterday and knew it wouldn’t take long for you to discuss it here. 🙂

    IMO, it hasn’t as much to do with housework as domesticity in general.
    Sometimes its all hands on deck. But a woman wants a tiger, not a housecat. 😉


  3. gregariouswolf January 31, 2013 at 17:20 #

    That didn’t work with my ex. The place would keep getting worse and worse until I couldn’t stand it anymore.


  4. Erudite Knight January 31, 2013 at 17:26 #

    Hahaha, whats funny, I just sent this EXACT link to that crazy feminist lurking at my blog.


  5. Erudite Knight January 31, 2013 at 17:27 #

    Your last line is something all girls could learn to embrace.


  6. Kai January 31, 2013 at 18:29 #

    “Dudes, if you are getting laid tonight in exchange for cooking dinner or sweeping the floor or folding the laundry, AND YOU WOULD NOT OTHERWISE HAVE DONE THOSE THINGS, you are getting raped”

    Hmm. I’m thinking less rape and more prostitution. Rape would be if sex is demanded. If services are demanded, for which payment will be rendered in sex, that’s simple prostitution. Whether you’re buying her dinner, or making her dinner and cleaning the dishes afterwards, if it’s a prereq to getting sex, you’re buying her.
    Might make a lot more sense to buy the sex directly.


  7. Kai January 31, 2013 at 19:21 #

    I suspect there is no direct causation in this area, but rather that both factors come from a third. More traditional marriages tend to have a more solid grounding, and tend to have more traditional gender roles, including in chore division. A more traditional marriage is also likely to include more sex as both parties recognise the value of sex, and its importance in marriage as well as male dominance being usually very effective in getting sex.
    People who read it as ‘men should stop doing dishes to get more sex’ or ‘men should kill spiders to get more sex’ are writing in meaning that the study does not have enough information to support.
    But I’m just guessing. To see how it worked, we’d have to do a study. Maybe take the 4500 men studied, talk to the ones who where characterized as doing feminine chores, and tell them to stop, and start doing manly chores. Personally, I’d bet that doesn’t help their sex life (unless it inspires them to make other changes).


  8. TempestTcup January 31, 2013 at 19:34 #

    Shhhh! My husband may quit washing the dishes! Also, since I announced to him that I had adopted a “never say no” policy (we’ve been married a looooong time), if we had more sex I’d never be able to leave the house 🙂


  9. Friday Drunk January 31, 2013 at 23:27 #

    No wonder I can’t get laid.


  10. judgybitch January 31, 2013 at 23:34 #

    Cause you do too much housework?


  11. Liz January 31, 2013 at 23:53 #

    Is it a bad thing that this topic is starting to make me horny?


  12. Friday Drunk February 1, 2013 at 00:22 #

    Sole reason


  13. judgybitch February 1, 2013 at 00:24 #

    Heh. Nope.


  14. Anonymous February 1, 2013 at 01:27 #

    You should stop being so gentle and tactful in your criticisms, JB. Why don’t you cut loose and tell us what you really think!


  15. Marlo Rocci February 2, 2013 at 06:07 #

    I don’t mind doing housework at all. It’s the whole “having a wife” thing I’m not into. I’m doing fine without one.


  16. Reggie February 2, 2013 at 09:33 #

    I only threaten to do housework when she gets sloppy. My favourite line is “Do I have to start doing my own laundry again?”

    I do love to cook though. I have my own knife that I don’t even let her wash.


  17. judgybitch February 2, 2013 at 11:31 #

    I’m a Global Steel girl, myself.


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