I’m not pretty enough for you? Go fuck yourself.

First, let me update you on the outcome of the BigAss Scrabble Tournament ™ I played in yesterday. It was kind of interesting, really.

My first opponent Played.

So.

Slowly.

It.

Was.

Painful.

We had a little hourglass timer, but he was concentrating sooooooo hard,

he failed to notice that his time had run out, even when I pointed it out. I could have been a giant bitch about it, but I kind of felt sorry for TurtleMan because he really was trying.

See?  I’m not always a bitch.

Most Scrabble games take somewhere around 14 – 18 turns to complete.  In one hour, we managed 8 turns and I was kicking his ass resoundingly.  295 to 131.

295 halfway through the game is a great score.  But we ran out of time, I won by default, and I didn’t get to play out the whole game. I had TWO separate bingos, but I couldn’t play them.

My next opponent was also a pretty shitty player.

And I apparently lack a truly competitive spirit, because I ended up coaching her on what to play so her loss wouldn’t be quite so humiliating.  She showed me her letters and I told her where to play them and I still BOMBED her, winning by more than 100 points.

There goes my reputation as an unrelenting bitch.

I plan on restoring it, though.

But first, let’s get to that discussion of beauty I mentioned yesterday.

Eminem and Christina Aguilera both recorded songs called “Beautiful”, and I think the two songs perfectly encapsulate the difference between Victim Culture™ and Get Over It Snowflake Culture™.

Women, in particular, are encouraged to view themselves as victims.  Of anything and everything, and one of the central concepts in Victim Culture™ is that if you ARE in fact, a victim, well, there must be someone to blame for that.  And it’s not you!  No way!

Christina’s song and the accompanying video is very explicitly about gender and how gender is linked to our ideas about what constitutes beauty.  It features two gay men kissing, a cross-dressing man, an anorexic girl, a skinny boy trying desperately to grow some muscles, a punk rocker and several other characters.  Christina is trying to promote the idea that everyone is beautiful in their own way, and on the surface, that’s a lovely idea.

I have no problem with gay men and drag queens and skinny boys thinking they are beautiful and therefore worthy of respect and dignity, because they are.  No question about it.  What I do have a problem with is how Christina spins that completely understandable desire into a deep well of narcissism and self-absorption.

Don’t look at me.

In the video, she huddles in the corner of a derelict room like she’s expecting some violent blow at any minute.  When she DOES finally get on her feet, what does she do?  She goes and looks at herself in a mirror.  Christina’s concept of beauty is all about appearance.

Don’t look at me.  Look at me.

For Christina, being beautiful comes down to one thing:  what you look like.  The characters in her video preen in front of mirrors, engage in public tongue kissing (yuck – get a room!), compare themselves to images in a magazine and essentially exist in their own little worlds with no reference at all to a wider culture.  Ultimately, the anorexic girl smashes her mirror and the girl reading magazines throws them in the fire, but the general sense and feeling of the whole video is paranoia and egotism and vanity.

I am beautiful no matter what they say

Words can’t bring me down

I am beautiful in every single way

Yes, words can’t bring me down

Uhm, no.  You are NOT beautiful in every single way, because no one is.  Promoting the idea that everything about yourself is perfect, no matter what anyone else says is the very definition of narcissism.  According to Christina, listening to criticism or stopping to consider the fact that maybe, just maybe, you might be able to improve on your natural graces and talents is an attack on your right to define yourself according to whatever personal terms of reference you happen to desire.

Don’t look at me.

In Christina’s song, beauty is whatever you say it is, you should never listen to criticism and the appropriate response to any criticism is to crawl into a corner and weep like the maltreated victim you are.

Beautiful.

Now, let’s contrast that with Eminem’s song.

The very first thing Eminem does is link his concept of beauty to the broader culture.  He explicitly defines beauty as something bigger than any one individual or any one perspective.

His message is basically the same thing:  don’t ever let them say you’re not beautiful, they can all get fucked, just stay true to you

But his concept of “you” exists in a broader society undergoing some tremendous, confusing, violent and destructive transformations.  He doesn’t stand around contemplating his special snowflakeness in a mirror.  He stands in the middle of stadium, being torn apart by a wrecking crew, and rages against forces much greater than himself.  He locates himself in a world that contains more than just his own perception of himself.

Now, we all know that I consider Eminem a truly great musical artist, but I also want to give him props for being intelligent and demonstrating an emotional depth and complexity that seems to me to be very typical of how men approach the world in general.

http://judgybitch.com/2013/01/13/judgy-bitch-music-critic/

Women start with the idea that they are the only ones who exist.  “I’m perfect and beautiful because I say I am and if you tell me I’m not I’m going sit in a corner and cry”.  Men, on the other hand, appear to take for granted that they live in a bigger world and are required to define themselves in the context of that world.  And if you tell them they’re not beautiful, the answer is “get fucked”.

Personally, I’ll take Eminem’s version of Beautiful any day.

Now, here’s the point.  Me and Pixie finished shooting our first YouTube show, and I’m going to be taking a giant (probably stupid) leap into the great void, where I anticipate that I will more or less immediately confront other people’s ideas about beauty and how much I have.

The truth is, not much.  Oh well.  So sad, too bad.

Hideous

Repugnant

Revolting

Gruesome

Ugly ugly ugly.

OH HONEY, I THINK YOU MEAN THIS…

(with love PPP)

Yeah, yeah.  Whatever.  If you can’t argue the point, it’s always fun to post insults. I don’t know why, but it always surprises me when the fat ugly whore comments come from women.  I especially like it when women post in exquisite detail how they hope I get raped and murdered.  There’s something particularly satisfying, though, about scrolling through a 1200 word description of your own demise and then hitting the trash button! Hey, thanks for taking the time, bitch.  And goodbye.

Welcome to the sisterhood?

Haters gonna hate.  It won’t shut me up.  Go ahead.  Tell me I’m not beautiful.  I won’t sit in a corner and cry, I guarantee it.

I’m not pretty enough for you?  Get fucked.

Lots of love,

JB