NSFW! Mr. JB, pick up some lube on your way home. We’re gonna solve the problem of sexism! It will be fun. Trust me.

2 Mar

OMG this is almost too much too handle. Jesus Christ, where to start?

Let’s start here:

This is Hugo Schwyzer.

 

hugo

He is a “feminist ally” (keep that in mind for later) who writes for Jezebel, and his current contribution to that cesspool makes cesspools seem like delicately scented bubble baths.

cesspool

Trigger warning: if you thought some of my previous shit was crass and sordid, today is gonna blow your mind.

Can we just stop for a moment to talk about “trigger warnings”? Those things piss me off because they are just so damn hypocritical and outright insulting to women. You wanna talk misogyny? Let’s talk trigger warnings.

I tend to think of women as rational, intelligent, sane creatures who are capable of facing challenges and adversity and demonstrating some resilience and strength and basically just being adults who can get through life without everything being sunshine and rainbows all the damn time. I don’t think women are overly emotional, fragile, delicate flowers who must be protected, at all costs, from every little hardship that comes along.

But that is just what trigger warnings claim: women are so emotionally fragile and so ruled by their emotions that even confronting the horror of words on a page will cause them to collapse into sobbing piles of uselessness and despair.

pile

And these are the same people who want women in positions of decision-making and authority? If you need a trigger warning to protect yourself from becoming the emotional cripple you so clearly ARE, how in the hell are you going to be an effective leader of others? Leadership requires confidence and endurance and stamina and strength and the ability to persevere through setbacks and opposition and outright hostility, and you can’t even read the words “eating disorder” without Prozac and a warning?

Jesus, ladies, pick one! You’re either capable and confident and perfectly able to manage your own emotions, or you are incompetent, unable to control your emotional reactions and suffer from such a crushing lack of self-esteem that words on a page will reduce you to a snivelling sack of useless shit.

“Trigger warning” will have a whole new meaning if women end up in combat. Let’s see how the ladies like that.

Is this why feminists tend to be fat? It must be. All that cake they’re having and still an endless supply because they eat and eat and eat and still get to have it, too.

cake

All right then, let’s get to today’s rant.

So Hugo, our little manly friend up top, begins with the premise that men suck. That’s required for publication at Jezebel. No big surprise there. I wonder if Hugo knows he’s a man?

He starts by talking about our deeply misogynistic culture, in which women have

the absolute right to determine whether they will become parents,

the right to force men to pay for their choices,

the right to attend a publicly funded school system designed around their strengths and interests,

the right to live in a country whose freedom is protected with male lives,

the right to define any sexual experience as rape if they feel like it was and then subsequently have their male partners jailed,

the right to be assumed the custodian of children when marriages break down,

the right to sue for equal pay for unequal labor, effort or training,

the right to have their healthcare issues funded,

the right to receive lenient or no punishment for criminal offences and

the right to have sex for money if they so choose.

hookers

Oh wait. No, they don’t have that last right. All those feminists speaking out against prostitution? Yeah, that’s misogyny.

Deeply misogynist culture?!?!?! Are you fucking kidding me? Hey, Hugo, ever hear of a place called Saudi Arabia? How about Afghanistan? Ring a bell? No?

You know we’re heading nowhere good when we start out with that premise, but I’ll bet you can’t guess just how bad it’s gonna get.

Here is Hugo’s plan for how to fix our “deeply misogynist” culture: we need to get men to be more compassionate, appreciative and playful. What we want is men who are incredibly secure in their masculinity and who are not threatened by women. We want men liberated from the straightjacket of masculinity, with happy consequences for everyone. We want men to be “feminist allies”.

CANCEL THE DRAFT!

END MALE SUICIDE!

FUND MEN’S HEALTHCARE!

GIVE FATHER’S EQUAL CUSTODY!

Hahahahahah!

No silly. That’s not how you liberate men from the straightjacket of masculinity. You see, we still NEED men to fight wars and do all the rough, dirty, shitty work in our culture and then to go and quietly kill themselves or die from preventable diseases when they are no longer useful. We’re not talking about that kind of straightjacket.

No, the correct way to liberate men from masculinity and to make them more compassionate, appreciative and playful is….

Are you ready?

TO FUCK THEM UP THE ASS WITH A STRAP-ON.

strap-on

http://jezebel.com/5987888/if-you-want-a-more-thoughtful-boyfriend-try-pegging-him

Yes, gentlemen, anal sex is how you liberate yourself from masculinity and become more compassionate, appreciative and playful. And not just ANY anal sex. No, no, no. This kind of anal sex is very specific: you must let your wife or girlfriend penetrate your ass with a strap-on penis.

Pegging.

Delightful name, no?

Now simmer down, all you non-anal sex loving heterosexual men. If you don’t care to be pegged by your girlfriend or your wife, it’s because you are insecure in your masculinity, homophobic and also just a really bad sexual partner.

ass

Here’s why you need to open your mind to having a giant silicon dick shoved up your ass:

…no other erotic experience a man can undergo can create greater empathy with women than being penetrated by his partner. “For men who have never been on the receiving side of penetration, sex is something that happens outside the body. And when sex is external to your body, it can be easier to do when you have a headache or you’re not quite in the mood. A lot of men discover than when sex is about catching rather than pitching, their mood, their emotions, and their connection to a partner can often have a bigger influence on what they want to do and how it feels.” Men, Glickman and Emirzian suggest optimistically, will be a lot less likely to rush foreplay once they’ve experienced how long it takes to relax sufficiently in order to comfortably take a dildo (or other sex toy) in the ass.

palm

So basically this is about lack of foreplay? Really? Wouldn’t it be easier to, oh, I don’t know, JUST ASK your partner to slow things down than to get out a dildo and fuck him up the ass?

You know, I actually don’t think this is about foreplay at all. Here’s the most interesting part of the article:

“There’s a common myth that anal sex only hurts the receiver,” they say; it’s too often assumed (especially when it’s a man doing the penetrating) that he’s taking pleasure in causing discomfort, while the “bottom” (usually a woman) gets pleasure only out of making her guy happy. “We suspect this is also why some straight guys may fear that their female partners want to penetrate them not for mutual pleasure, but as some kind of passive-aggressive payback.”

Uhm, have any of these writers ever seen a real penis? They seem to be leaving out something pretty significant: PENISES CONNECTED TO REAL LIVING MEN HAVE NERVE ENDINGS. When a real, flesh and blood, living penis enters a vagina or an anus or a mouth, those nerve endings are activated and result in a feeling of extreme pleasure.

When a woman straps on a silicon penis and shoves it up her partner’s ass, SHE DOESN’T FEEL ANYTHING because plastic dicks do not contain nerve endings! How in the name of god could fucking someone with a plastic dick be conceived of as MUTUALLY pleasurable?

Why, the authors answer their own question, don’t they?

It most certainly IS a passive-aggressive payback. There is no potential for physical pleasure from the act of pegging a man – IT’S A FAKE PENIS! The pleasure comes from humiliating him. The pleasure comes from dominating him. The pleasure comes from turning him into a woman, however temporarily.

And you know, I have no problem with men who enjoy this kind of thing. You like getting fucked in the ass by your girlfriend’s strap-on? Have at ‘er, lads. It’s none of my business what turns your crank.

submissive

Let’s take a look at the last sentences of the article: … the sooner men get over their anxiety and guilt, the more fun they and their partners will have. And maybe, just maybe, we can peg our way right out of sexism itself.

The more fun men will have? Really? So now it’s fun to surrender your body so that someone else can feel aggressive and dominant and psychologically satisfied by an act that delivers no physical pleasure to her? Gee, it seems to me that when MEN engage in sexual acts that require women to be submissive and that result in no physical pleasure for her, they are sexist, inconsiderate assholes who deserve a lonely life of masturbating to internet porn.

You want to come on my face? Fuck off, asshole.

http://jezebel.com/sex_crazy-nympho-dream-girl/

But when women want to do that exact same thing to men, it’s not only understandable, laudable and acceptable, it’s a potential solution to the whole problem of sexism itself! All we need to end sexism is to degrade men to the point where they will happily offer their asses for pounding.

All right, I’m game. Let’s end sexism, Mr. JB. You’re not homophobic, right? You care about me, right? You want to end sexism, right? You want to be appreciative and playful, right?

Of course you do. So turn over, honey. Let’s get this thing done.

You don’t mind if I fart while I fuck you up the ass, do you?

http://judgybitch.com/2013/02/17/jezebel-solves-the-problem-of-womens-inequality-its-about-bloody-time/

Oh good. I’m only human.

Lots of love,

JB

50 Responses to “NSFW! Mr. JB, pick up some lube on your way home. We’re gonna solve the problem of sexism! It will be fun. Trust me.”

  1. Erudite Knight March 2, 2013 at 15:59 #

    But JB, having it both ways is the only way feminism can continue to exist!

    How else can they wear the victim mantle, but also the superior-to-men mantle?

    Like

  2. Erudite Knight March 2, 2013 at 16:12 #

    Btw, I read some of those links, like the sex crazy nymph, then it had a link to some bullshit about trans people and terms referring to ‘non trans’ people, wtf is wrong with our soecity where trans people get more rights than normal people?

    Like

  3. judgybitch March 2, 2013 at 16:17 #

    The interesting thing about “transpeople” is that their existence PROVES gender is not a social construct. How can you be born KNOWING you have the wrong external genitalia if gender is simply socially constructed?

    The logical contradictions of feminism are just stunning.

    Like

  4. Liz March 2, 2013 at 16:48 #

    Bwahahahahaha!
    OMG!
    Bwahahahaha!!!
    That Oxford guy with the sign about liking his girlfriend’s dick up his ass really got to you didn’t it, JB? 🙂 Comeon….he’s just tired of feeling ‘unmanly’. Because if he hadn’t shared we’d all know he likes being pegged by a strapon and that’s why everyone looks at him like he’s an unmanly sort of chap. Yeah, that’s why….haters gonna hate the strapon!

    Bwahahaha! I love you, JB.

    Like

  5. Liz March 2, 2013 at 16:50 #

    BTW, I love you in a nice way, not a please strap on a dildo lesbian way. Bwahaha!
    …thanks for giving me a laugh this morning! 🙂

    Like

  6. Marlo Rocci March 2, 2013 at 17:15 #

    The comments section will be interesting on this one.

    But it does confirm my suspicions: A dream man for a female feminist is a gay bottom. This is why so many feminists are overwieght. They’re frustrated. Some of them are still heterosexual while hating virtually all the characteristics of the heterosexual male.

    I also chuckle at the fact that I will now be labeled a sexist misogynist pig for not wanting to take a piece of plastic up the ass. But since you can’t be a free man without wearing at least a dozen labels of shame from feminists these days that I’ve shaken off the fear.

    Like

  7. judgybitch March 2, 2013 at 17:21 #

    Oh come one now, Liz. It might be fun!

    What are you, homophobic? Insecure in your femininity?

    I’m getting good at it!

    Like

  8. realityforever March 2, 2013 at 17:25 #

    When I look at all of these butch women with these obnoxious, repulsive personalities with all the charm of a drill sergeant, something always occurs to me, yet I have never heard anyone ever discuss this anywhere EVER. And that is this: To be male and attracted to the 21st century butchy, mannish female, you would absolutely HAVE to either A) Be a closet homosexual or B) At least have homosexual tendencies.

    This should be in the top 3 most important issues being discussed by anyone anywhere, but I have yet to see it discussed at all- as far as I know, I’m the first one anywhere to ever discuss it anywhere on the internet EVER. I’m it, which is just BIZARRE. WTF?!? Please someone prove me wrong and find someone who has ever discussed this.

    It’s obvious what is going on.. women are attracted to masculine traits & behavior, so in their extremely twisted & psychopathic thinking, they think that if they behave & appear butch, this will attract men- and of course masculine men- the kind they are actually attracted to. That would be as state hospital insane as me putting on a dress and showing up for work Monday morning acting & talking as tootles as Richard Simmons and expect all of the women to go crazy for me.

    And then we wonder why half of all adults are now single & for the first time in HUMAN HISTORY MILLIONS of women of child baring age are not having children. Women claim it is because they are CHOOSING not to get married. Uh, last time I checked, women don’t ask a man to marry them – so the only way they are getting married is if A MAN ASKS THEM. And from what I see everyday, that is becoming rarer all the time for this reason and a multitude of others.

    The saddest part is that all of this is that all of this is just so FUCKING STUPID and so unnecessary and women are just heading down a path to misery & solitude. Men can and have adapted- as far as I’m concerned, there are no more women- for all practical purposes, they might as well have all just vanished from the Earth. I certainly don’t personally know any women I would want to spend more than 30 seconds with. It’s like being stranded in the middle of the ocean – surrounded by water, but dying of thirst.

    They won’t take advice from real live, sane, bona fide heterosexual men because they are seen as the ‘enemy’ so they only take ‘advice’ from each other (which couldn’t possibly be MORE misguided and wrong about men) or from manginas like this one.

    The best analogy I can think of for women today and what they have done with their lives would be the equivalent of a mother giving birth to a beautiful baby boy and then walking outside and just throwing him a dumpster. Real class act, Ladies. What do you do for an encore? Defecate in public and have sex with the dead? And of course they’ll listen to his advice and follow through with it. 20 years from now Feminists will praise him as a ‘pioneer.’ LOL

    Like

  9. sqt March 2, 2013 at 17:29 #

    I’m fairly speechless over this one. How emasculated do you have to be to actually sit down and write an article that justifies taking it up the a** all in the name of feminism? ((shudder)) I fear for our future.

    Like

  10. nomisandry March 2, 2013 at 18:05 #

    AAHH, FUCK,@$#:* WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU JB , you have to give us Jabs a big Trigger warning any time you wanna talk about inserting fuckn dildo’s in our ass’s, :):) , my ass is still shaking out of fear or maybe I need to take a dump, either way as a new generation open minded(ass’s openly gaped too) male, who is in touch with his feminine submissive lovey dovey, lab dog trained by the new improved, anal ass pounding fourth wave feminazi establishment , I say you are a big Meany since you don’t want to sodomize your own husband with the biggest foldout you can find, can’t you see you are a victim of patriarchy.
    sarcasm. 🙂 🙂 🙂

    Like

  11. driversuz March 2, 2013 at 18:38 #

    Would someone who is not yet banned, please link this in the comments over in Boobzville? THEN you’ll be banned.

    Great (and wonderfully crass) analysis, JB!

    Like

  12. Ashley March 2, 2013 at 19:09 #

    I hope Jezebel isn’t a big source for your feminism critiques. They aren’t feminists.

    Like

  13. sevencck March 2, 2013 at 19:18 #

    You rock JB

    Like

  14. Alex March 2, 2013 at 21:09 #

    when will these people actually offer some REAL ways to help take care of today’s shit, and not shout down the people who do? this is getting ridiculous and leads me to conclusion that something like either a coup or a war needs to happen to turn this ball around. which is unusual, cause given some time i can think up a few solutions that are more diplomatic than that

    Like

  15. zykos March 2, 2013 at 21:28 #

    What are they then? Do I sense a no true scottsman?

    Jezebel *is* pathetic, and I myself avoid it (and the rest of the Gawker network) like the plague. But since JB doesn’t mind reading this trash, and spinning it up for our enjoyment, something she does really well, who am I to complain? It’s useful to realize that however demented these articles may seem, Jezebel is turning in a sizable profit for Gawker, which means a large number of people read this and come back for more. That’s the lesson here: wether you call them, or they call themselves, feminists doesn’t matter, a large segment of society finds what they do to be perfectly fine, and actually think like that!

    Like

  16. zykos March 2, 2013 at 21:44 #

    Why is this not noticed? Because feminisms are “many and varied”, so you get to pick and choose your incompatible beliefs, still claim to be a feminist and still escape any sort of criticism because “you’re not that kind of feminist”.

    The new idea, particularly prevalent in colleges these days, is that gender is a “gamut” with most people falling somewhere in between. And this is an appealing concept, people who feel awkward in their skin can now rationalize it “well I’m like 23% female, 64% male, and a some other parts too”. From my understanding, trans people don’t want to be “a bit of both”, they need to be the other gender, simply sometimes they don’t feel like surgically altering their genitals is a good idea (it does greatly reduce sexual pleasure after all).

    Like

  17. Mike Hunter March 2, 2013 at 22:35 #

    I thought pegging was when someone repeatedly punched your dick.

    Like

  18. Ter March 2, 2013 at 22:36 #

    I may never again be able to use the words “peg” or “pegged”.

    Like

  19. TMG March 2, 2013 at 23:03 #

    Jezebel represents the views of man-hating illogical narcissists. In other words, they are honest feminists.

    Like

  20. s. a. (@floatboats) March 2, 2013 at 23:35 #

    Hi JB–
    I’m a new reader and am so happy to have found your blog.

    TL;DR: This is kinda off-topic from the post.
    One thing I’ve been confused about is why I don’t have strong feelings about raising children, since I’m a straight woman. My upbringing around little ones was really limited. Occasionally, I’ll have the, “if I were a mom, this is how I’d be with my child” fantasy, but they’re not super memorable.
    What I feel more strongly about are animals. (No, I’m not vegetarian/vegan.) Many helpless domesticated creatures are mistreated, abused, and abandoned because a human realizes, “oh shit–I’m too irresponsible to own this animal.”
    I’d rather adopt a domesticated species than a human. Though, the latter is up for consideration.
    Not to mention, kids are expensive.

    On another note, it feels misguided to procreate when family’s genetic history is marred by illnesses, especially when one doesn’t have enthusiasm to start a family.

    What are your thoughts, JB?

    Thanks for reading my comment, and mostly, thanks for your thought-provoking, funny, and sometimes infuriating blog posts!

    – A former ‘feminist’

    Like

  21. Mark March 2, 2013 at 23:56 #

    Vaginal intercourse is socially constructed, according to many feminists. Ti-Grace Atkinson was a leading theorist of this idea. The titles of her treatises, such as “The Institution of Sexual Intercourse” or “Vaginal orgasm as a mass hysterical survival response” illustrate this view well. It would seem it is no longer enough to banish penetrative sex “against” women; now reversing it is on the agenda.

    And what sane woman at jezebel could actually read that article and not see the obvious flaw of it? Women especially know (or rather, can imagine) that vaginal intercourse and anal intercourse are not remotely the same thing. And I’m willing to bet many female jezebelites (or perhaps they should just be called jezebels?) would be exorbitantly offended if any of their menservants (boyfriends) suggested wanting to penetrate them anally.

    Like

  22. culdesachero March 3, 2013 at 00:06 #

    Hugo can have at it. If he thinks sitting down on giant piles is a good trade off for all of the male privilege he supposedly enjoys, let him enjoy his bicycle ride.

    Nice take down of trigger warnings too.

    Like

  23. Kai March 3, 2013 at 02:22 #

    You didn’t ask me, but you can always ignore my answer if you are particular…
    Why don’t you really want to be a mother even though you have the right parts? Because not all people are the same. People are different, and to different degrees. ‘Women’ as a whole, can be said to want children. That does not, however, mean that every single woman definitely wants to have children. Most do. But some people are statistical anomalies. You are in a minority of straight women, but minorities exist.
    I find a lot of groups who support more traditional roles don’t understand the difference between ‘women generally x’ and ‘every single woman ever x’. But it’s logical that there are outliers, and you seem to be one of them.
    So don’t have kids. Adopt pets. If you’d like to spend more time with kids, get involved in the lives of your siblings’ kids, or volunteer for a kids groups. There are many ways to do well by kids even without raising your own, if you decide you want to be an influence.
    But if you don’t, that’s okay. Consider it genetics self-correcting. You don’t feel the typical biological desire to reproduce, so your genes will not be passed on.
    In your case, where you have genetic reasons to feel apprehensive about your possible genetic children, if you don’t feel pulled, I strongly encourage you to not have kids, and be happy as you are, and ignore those to attempt to convince you that because most women want children you secretly must as well. There’s nothing wrong with not wanting children – it’s just uncommon. And if you’re not sure, it’s better for the hypothetical kids to pass.

    Like

  24. Kai March 3, 2013 at 02:33 #

    I’ve always read a ‘trigger warning’ as an acknowledgement not that women in general can’t possibly hear it, but that it is a known difficult subject for those few who may have issues with the topic. But given that even just those few are pretty assumable to be women, I think the rest still applies.

    This to me is the standard need for equality of outcome instead of equality of opportunity. An e-op-type situation would be trying to have men and women having enjoyable sex together. Both are encouraged to speak up about their needs and desires, and their spouse loves them and wants part of that.
    This e-out situation thinks that since men are penetrated and women are penetrated, it is insufficient that they both enjoy it, and it is more important that BOTH penetrate, as the evenness is more important than anything else – even more important than both partners actually enjoying the ‘sex’.

    Like

  25. Shmoooooop March 3, 2013 at 06:25 #

    The first thing that part of this article made me think was “I didn’t know trigger warnings were aimed at women specifically.” They can be for anyone who happens to be reading, so consider them insulting to people in general, not to women.

    Like

  26. judgybitch March 3, 2013 at 11:31 #

    Except that you will rarely find them on websites OTHER than those targeted at women.

    Like

  27. Drama March 3, 2013 at 13:51 #

    I always love how there is no substantive evidence for anything feminists say. Hollow ideas that a child could tear apart.

    Also, I would have written the sentence, “open your minds to being fucked in the ass”, to “open your minds to opening your cheeks”, but that’s just me.

    Like

  28. Kitsunegari March 3, 2013 at 15:59 #

    Exactly. Never have I seen a “trigger warning” posted on an article that deals with the horrors of war, for instance, out of consideration for vets with PTSD.

    Like

  29. Anonymous Coward March 3, 2013 at 20:32 #

    I’ve actually had a friend with benefits fuck my ass with a dildo while she’s sucking me off. It felt pretty good actually. I don’t see what all these women are complaining about when they take it up the ass. I’m pretty kinky though, and I could see how most guys would think this is weird.

    I also find it funny that this writer thinks that doing this will make men more sensitive lovers. I’m a sexual sadist. I enjoy causing pain in the bedroom. I am also a moral person though, and would never hurt someone unless they consented to it. That’s why I find masochists who enjoy receiving pain and humiliation during sex and foreplay.

    Like

  30. judgybitch March 4, 2013 at 00:58 #

    That’s an unfortunate handle you chose.

    What you describe sounds like …. i dunno … fun, maybe? It sounds like your GF is doing something for you that you find PLEASURABLE, and I truly have no problem with that. It’s your business.

    What it DOESN’T sound like is a sexual technique to degrade you, to make you feel vulnerable, to assert her dominance and authority over you.

    Pegging, as Hugo imagines it, is a way to make men feel vulnerable and violable, as he clearly imagines women feel when they are penetrated by their husbands/BFs.

    I do not personally enjoy being hurt, nor do I want to hurt anyone else, in a sexual context, but I have no issue with other people’s pleasure. As long as it IS pleasure.

    Like

  31. Emma March 4, 2013 at 02:37 #

    It definitely can be about mutual pleasure. If not, why would anyone do blowjobs and enjoy doing it? Or oral sex in general… Some men can get pleasure from this the same way some women get pleasure from their G-spot. If I ever got to do this, it would be all about the man’s pleasure.

    I heard pegging can teach the WOMAN some empathy too – about how tiresome all that thrusting is.

    Like

  32. Anonymous Coward March 4, 2013 at 05:10 #

    Yeah It wasn’t about degradation. She is the one who likes being degraded. I just felt like seeing what it’s like, because I do it to her pretty often. Mostly using my dick though. lol

    So I guess it’s only tangentially related to what Hugo was writing about. I only brought it up because I’m a guy who’s taken a dildo up the ass; yet I’m the opposite of what the writer describes. I’m certainly not tender and caring in the bedroom. But that is what the type of people I sleep with like. So it works well for everyone.

    Like

  33. Stories Dad Never Told You March 4, 2013 at 06:43 #

    hahahaha. Yes, JB. I almost choked I died so hard laughing after reading the first paragraph in that Hugo article.

    Thankfully, I think most normal people don’t even consider jezebel to be a news source. (I did a straw pole recently on my friends, like 10% of them knew. Nice)

    Like

  34. Stories Dad Never Told You March 4, 2013 at 06:47 #

    And luckily, I think that if anyone actually DID take Jezebel seriously, this article in particular will make people realize what a third class, extremist publication it really is. I think they kind of fucked themselves on the ass with this one. I’d say about…oh like .000000069% of the straight guys in the world would be open to taking it in the ass from their gfs. Just a guess though.

    Like

  35. Stories Dad Never Told You March 4, 2013 at 06:50 #

    Sorry for triple commenting, but…I just have to say one more thing. I REALLLLY hope Hugo practices what he preaches.

    Like

  36. princesspixiepointless March 4, 2013 at 11:19 #

    I think I need a diagram, how does one fuck from behind and suck from the front at the same time?
    (this is rhetorical btw)

    Like

  37. princesspixiepointless March 4, 2013 at 11:37 #

    Ok, you said DILDO not STRAP ON, I get it. Duh. That is some decent co-ordination.

    Like

  38. judgybitch March 4, 2013 at 12:38 #

    There are better ways to learn how thrusting can be tiresome. Try mopping. Or washing the walls. None of those things require you to humiliate or dominate your man.

    Unless he’s into it. Then by all means, carry on.

    Like

  39. Liz March 4, 2013 at 12:40 #

    I thought the same thing the first time I read it…took me a minute.

    Like

  40. judgybitch March 4, 2013 at 12:42 #

    What Kai said.

    If you have no maternal, caring instincts, then please do the whole species a favor and do NOT have children.

    We don’t really need those genes passed on.

    There are about ten million things you can do to contribute to the world in a positive, effective way. It just won’t involve you leaving any genetic traces behind.

    That’s OK.

    Like

  41. judgybitch March 4, 2013 at 12:43 #

    Good lord, I have a filthy mind.

    I got it right away.

    Like

  42. nightskyradio March 5, 2013 at 10:12 #

    This is doubly appropriate, considering where the band took their name from…

    Like

  43. Emma March 10, 2013 at 21:19 #

    It’s not inherently dominating or humiliating. Well, it is so if the man thinks so.

    Like

  44. mm August 25, 2013 at 11:37 #

    Never has the prospect of getting a prostate orgasm seemed so damn unerotic.

    Also:

    They’ve got some poppers AND some grass!

    Like

  45. Passerby September 13, 2013 at 08:44 #

    Fuck that, anal sex is awesome because anal sex! Get your political statements out of my bedsheets! Man, I hate hate hate all this “have sex the way I tell you because it is right and proper” bull that Jezebel et al trot out. If I told them you must diddle your boyfriend because THAT’S WHAT JESUS GAVE HIS MORTAL LIFE FOR, ARE YOU UNCHRISTIAN OR WHAT? they wouldn’t stand for it. But if I tell them how to fuck FOR THE GREAT CAUSE OF FEMINISM then, hey, that’s all groovy.

    Like

  46. paulvzo May 29, 2014 at 12:57 #

    I know this is an old thread, but jus’ gotta say you are wrong about women not asking men to marry them. I’ve had two women ask me to marry them. They even have the same first name! One I did marry, one I didn’t.

    Be careful with generalizations!

    Like

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