Breaking news: Mr. JB is an oppressive, sexist asshole who only likes me for my boobs!

8 Mar

This study is actually pretty hilarious!

Men’s Oppressive Beliefs Predict Their Breast Size Preferences in Women

http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007%2Fs10508-013-0081-5#

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/01/sexist-men-big-boobs-breast-size-study_n_2792287.html?utm_hp_ref=canada&ir=Canada

Lads! Come on now! Enough with the oppression! Stop liking my boobs so much!

marilyn

You know, it always make me laugh when people claim Marilyn Monroe was “plus size”. What the fuck? Here are her measurements from her dressmaker. You know, the lady who actually made her clothes:

Weight: 118-140 pounds

Bust: 35-37 inches

Waist: 22-23 inches

Hips: 35-36 inches

Bra size: 36D

http://www.marilynmonroepages.com/facts/

Marilyn had a beautiful hourglass figure, with ample hips and an impressively tiny waist and oh, that rack!

marilyn 2

JudgyBitch also rocks an hourglass figure, although mine is not quite as dramatic as Marilyn’s.

36C-26-36

I was a late-bloomer, and didn’t grow into my curves until I was well over 16 years old, and during my teenage years, my figure was a source of great embarrassment to me. It attracted attention I was in no way prepared to deal with from men much older than myself. I was totally a big sweaters and jeans kind of girl.

sweater

Wait, you mean I didn’t shove my boobs into a bustier and prance around and then complain about all the men staring at me?

bustier

Nope. Never got on that train. Well, not in high school. University was a whole different ballgame, but I was ready by that time to deal with the reactions. My experience has been that men like my figure and my breasts very much. Little did I know that only SOME men like large breasts:

Sexist, Oppressive Assholes

You fuckers!

Sadly, all the men I dated were experts at hiding their oppressive beliefs and sexism and treated me like, oh, I don’t know… a lovely, desirable woman. That in itself is oppressive and sexist, though.

The researchers found that the largest percentage of participants (32.7 percent) rated medium-sized breasts as “most attractive,” followed by large (24.4 percent), very large (19.1 percent), small (15.5 percent) and very small (8.3 percent). However, a preference for large and very large breasts was significantly correlated with overt sexism, benevolent sexism, female objectification and hostile attitudes toward women. This connection was strongest when it came to benevolent sexism. In other words, men who tend to idealize “traditional” femininity and perceive women as meek and weak, are also the most likely to prefer big boobs. “It is arguable that benevolently sexist men perceived larger female breasts as attractive because larger breast size on a woman is associated with perceived femininity,” wrote the researchers.

Well now. Let’s start to unpack all this, shall we?

First of all, what is benevolent sexism?

sexist

Benevolent sexism is when men treat women nicely. ANY special treatment, like opening a car door, or giving up your subway seat, when done for a woman, by a man, constitutes sexism. Differential treatment on the basis of gender is always, ipso facto, sexist.

Unless it’s women treating men differently on the basis of gender. That’s okay then. No opening doors, you sexist, condescending pig! But I will totally let you carry that heavy box for me.

box

http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/opinion/forum/2011-07-26-men-women-feminism-sexism_n.htm

Gosh, how surprising! Another utterly hypocritical and just plain old fucking stupid idea from feminism.

Now how about that traditional femininity notion the researchers are operating with? Weak and meek.

WEAK AND MEEK?!?!

Are you fucking kidding me? Well, clearly, I’m doing femininity wrong. Perhaps I should change my blog to WeakMeekBitch? Okay, so the takeaway from all this is that men who like feminine women also tend to like breasts? Gee, I hope the taxpayers funded this study. Because the association between breasts and femininity has long been obscure, right? Thank goodness we finally have that mystery cleared up.

facepalm

Let’s assume that the researchers define femininity as being weak and meek because they’re cunts. I think it’s pretty reasonable to assume the male research subjects were using the more accepted definition, like this one from Wikipedia:

Gentleness, empathy, sensitivity, caring, sweetness, compassion, tolerance, nurturance, deference, and succorance are behaviors generally considered feminine.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Femininity

There’s one word in particular that pretty much sums up femininity: pleasant. Feminine women are pleasant. They are warm and friendly and just generally nice to be around. I’m a fucking bitch on this blog, but in real life, I’m actually a very pleasant person. And I think everyone who knows me would define me as feminine.

Here’s a secret most women appear to have forgotten: when you are pleasant, people, especially men, but absolutely other women too, will return your pleasantry.

No! I swear! It’s totally true. I live in a small town, where people are just generally pleasant to one another as a matter of course, but I recently had an opportunity to travel to one of the largest, most ethnically diverse city on the planet, and guess what?

Everybody was pleasant to me.

Number of times I took a subway ride without chatting with someone? Zero

Number of times I had to stand on the subway while surrounded by sitting men? Zero

Number of times I had to carry my own suitcase from one subway platform to another? Zero

Amount of money I had to pay when I fucked up reading my boarding pass and missed my flight? Zero

http://judgybitch.com/2012/11/18/why-are-you-so-goddamn-fat-part-two/

Look at this shirt the ladies at Jezebel are all in a squee over:

smile

http://jezebel.com/5988938/we-need-this-dont-tell-me-to-smile-sweatshirt

This shirt is for ladies who go storming about with their permanent bitch-face on and from the size of it, permanent lard-ass, too. Just imagine it: a scowling, pissy woman trucking along at whatever speed her heft will allow and she needs a shirt to tell people to basically fuck-off and who wants to guess whether she gets treated like shit a whole lot?

 

fat bitch

But that’s because patriarchy. And oppression. And objectification. And unreasonable beauty standards. Not because, you know, she’s a miserable cow to everyone around her. I’m guessing it doesn’t matter what size her breasts are – she’s not likely to get much positive male attention.

I really don’t understand the rationale behind wanting to live in a world in which people are not pleasant to one another and do not notice one another’s physical attributes. What is to be gained by defining men’s tendency to be polite and cordial to women as OPPRESSION? There is so much to be lost, obviously, but what is gained? What do we gain when we refuse to see one another as fully human, including aspects of our gender and sexuality?

Is it a question of all the fat miserable bitches making sure no one is treated with kindness because they themselves are not? There is another solution to that, you know: lose some weight and try smiling.

If a man wanting to open the door for me, or let me go first, or offer me his seat or carry my suitcase is oppression, then gentlemen, by all means, please oppress me. My feeling is that men aren’t nice to me BECAUSE I’m a woman. They’re nice to me because I’m nice to them. They respond positively to me because I’m pleasant. Kindness and warmth is returned with kindness and warmth.

door

In my experience.

Well, it’s either that, or just that I have really great tits!

tits3

Lots of love,

JB

15 Responses to “Breaking news: Mr. JB is an oppressive, sexist asshole who only likes me for my boobs!”

  1. happycrow March 8, 2013 at 16:20 #

    It is enjoyable to a man to be around pleasant and attractive women, point-blank. I enjoy being around women who I would nail in a heartbeat if I were single.

    And if I had to lose one of those traits: gee, Happycrow, would I rather hang out with a pleasant lardass, or a gorgeous drama-spewing bitch?

    Kind of a no-brainer, ain’t it.

    Like

  2. Dr. Eric Stratton March 8, 2013 at 16:48 #

    The lengths those shrews will go to so as to avoid confronting reality is amazing. Patriarchy – There’s Nothing It Can’t Do.

    Wait, that’s mostly true. Regardless, I like nice racks and warm personalities like peanut butter and chocolate. Anyone who disagrees is a Communist.

    Like

  3. judgybitch March 8, 2013 at 16:51 #

    Ha ha! That’s funny. I call my sports bra my “Commie bra” because it squashes me flat and gives me that super sexy mono-boob.

    But nothing moves when I run, let me tell you. Running without support is not kind to the girls.

    Like

  4. sqt March 8, 2013 at 17:07 #

    The value of being a pleasant person cannot be overstated. I’m not voluptuous- I’m more the long, lean type (I do have great legs though), and I’ve rarely had unpleasant interactions with men because I’m nice. I’m well past the stage where young men hit on me, but I find that doors are still opened and men are generally helpful because I’m not marching around acting like a militant jerk.

    Like

  5. Mark March 8, 2013 at 18:47 #

    As I understand it, those women with repulsive personalities or a lack of a conscience now call themselves ‘strong women,’ right? “Men are just afraid of strong women,’ I believe is the favored excuse. If one accepts that a raging superiority complex is the definition of strength.

    All these pictures of Marilyn Monroe just encourage me to go listen to Elton John’s ‘Candle in the Wind’ on youtube. Good song, good song.

    Like

  6. angelowal March 8, 2013 at 20:29 #

    JB, you just HAVE to stay away from that Jezebel site – it brings out the beast in you, LOL.
    ♥♥♥

    Like

  7. Alex March 8, 2013 at 22:20 #

    if you need an example of the same situation on the male side, have them ask me for a pic. i’m quite far off the sexy guy mark, but you don’t see me going around telling people to fuck their happiness (when you can get outside anyways). which is weird in the first place since most men are generally happy with just about any size once they accept it. seems like a lot of women have an issue with accepting the parts of their life that they can’t really change and carry that miserableness into the parts that they can change by mixing the two (*cough* ratchetnurse maybe? *cough*) really weird. also, sports bras add slimness, though i can see where they might reduce the sexiness factor

    Like

  8. someguy March 9, 2013 at 13:27 #

    I heard that the main reason why cleopatra was so good at bagging guys and making heads turn her way, was not because she was drop-dead gorgeous. In fact she was average in terms of looks. But she had a charming personality and charisma. She made men feel good to be around her. And the lengths she went to secure her man, julius caesar is probably what won him over and made him ditch his wife back in Rome. But then again caesar was also a womanizer.

    Like

  9. Marlo Rocci March 9, 2013 at 15:00 #

    Hmm…men like women with ample breasts who appear to be healthy and ready for childbearing. It’s almost like this species was evolved to procreate or something.

    Like

  10. quasi March 10, 2013 at 13:52 #

    Funny, didn’t Heartiste mention a study a while back showing that men sporting ‘benevolent sexist’ attitudes were more attractive to women (and that women reported greater relationship satisfaction by being with such unreconstructed brutes) or something along those lines?

    *one quick search later*

    Why yes, yes he did: Happy Sexist Is Happy.

    I like big boobs and I cannot lie, but I also admire honesty, integrity, loyalty, intelligence, humour and wit and, above all, femininity. A cracking rack can make up for a lot, but it’s no substitute for a pleasant personality, the importance of which (along with an appealing figure) JB consistently points out.

    Like

  11. Retrenched March 13, 2013 at 18:09 #

    “The lengths those shrews will go to so as to avoid confronting reality is amazing. Patriarchy – There’s Nothing It Can’t Do”

    Well every religion needs a devil I suppose.

    Like

  12. jpm72 March 15, 2013 at 10:57 #

    Here’s a nicely edited version :

    “It seems cliche, but it just might be true. The more sexist a woman is, the more likely she is to be into big penises.

    A recent study from the University of Eastminster, published in February in the Archives of Sexual Misbehavior, showed that woman’s attitudes toward men influence their attitudes about ideal penis size. The researchers interviewed 361 white, heterosexual women, ranging in age from 18 to 68. (Since ethnicity has been previously shown to impact how individuals perceive penis size, the researchers decided to pull participants from just one self-identified racial category.) Each woman was shown five different 3-D models of men, each with a different penis sizes, and then asked to record which “man” she found most physically attractive.

    Afterward, the participants were given surveys which measured each woman’s level of hostility toward men, her attitudes about relationships between men and women, benevolent sexism and how much she objectified men.

    The researchers found that the largest percentage of participants (32.7 percent) rated medium-sized penises as “most attractive,” followed by large (24.4 percent), very large (19.1 percent), small (15.5 percent) and very small (8.3 percent). However, a preference for large and very large penises was significantly correlated with overt sexism, benevolent sexism, male objectification and hostile attitudes toward men. This connection was strongest when it came to benevolent sexism. In other words, women who tend to idealize “traditional” masculinity and perceive men as able and strong, are also the most likely to prefer big penises. “It is arguable that benevolently sexist women perceived larger male penises as attractive because larger penis size on a man is associated with perceived masculinity” wrote the researchers.

    The findings don’t mean that all women who find big penises attractive are sexist. Also, knowing that some girls may associate your big penis with strength is NOT a reason to have a penile reduction. But this research is a good reminder that social ideas about what makes a man sexually desirable don’t just impact the way men feel about themselves or how they imagine women perceive them. Those ideas impact the way that women view men — both how attractive and how powerful women think they are.”

    Like

  13. judgybitch March 15, 2013 at 12:24 #

    *applause*

    Like

  14. foakleys April 10, 2013 at 04:01 #

    Moreover, HDHPs must be offered alongside HSAs or health reimbursement arrangements. Two weeks ago, the Federal Reserve expanded a program lengthening the maturity of bonds it holds and Chairman Ben S. Bernanke indicated more measures will be taken if needed. “The actions had the look and feel of a coordinated global easing campaign,” said Nick Kounis, head of macro research at ABN Amro Bank NV in Amsterdam. foakleys http://pinterest.com/foakleys/foakleysoaho/

    Like

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  1. Lightning Round – 2013/03/13 | Free Northerner - March 13, 2013

    […] Study: Feminized boys like smaller breasts; real men like big ones. Related: Judgy Bitch comments. […]

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