Bitches be mean. Ladies be crying. Let’s give them MORE responsibility! Clearly, they can handle it.

 

Hey folks! Did you know that women make better decisions at work than men do? No, it’s true! Here’s the proof!

 

http://www.degroote.mcmaster.ca/articles/women-make-better-decisions-than-men/

 

Men, you see, tend to make decisions using stupid tools like rules, regulations and time-tested strategies. You know, logic and rationality. How dumb do you have to be to think that’s gonna work?

Ladies are all about cooperation, collaboration and consensus-building, which is really just another way of saying INCOMING! COVER YOUR ASS! SPREAD THE BLAME!

 

 

The whole study is a crock of shit, and you can read the details over at AVfM, if you like.

 

http://www.avoiceformen.com/mcmaster-university-and-men/mcmaster-university-girlz-iz-mo-betta/

 

What I want to do today is link the idea that women are better decision makers, and deserve to have more responsibilities and greater power at work to this book by Meredith Fuller:

 

 

Honestly, her list falls a little short. Here’s a list of 90 different types of bitches, written by a third grader! It’s pretty hilarious.

 

 

http://andiamnotlying.com/2010/types-of-bitches/

 

Ok, so the shocking insight Meredith has to contribute to the public discourse is that some women are bitches!

 

 

I might know one. Or two. Hell, I might even BE one!

 

Heh

 

Apparently, the prevalence of bitchiness is seriously impacting women’s work lives. Bitches being bitchy is knocking other women off their stilettos, affecting their confidence, competence and enjoyment of life.

Serious stuff.

 

 

I wrote my book for the thousands of women I have seen in my careers counselling practice, and consulting work in organizations. Hard working, earnest, committed, professional women were stunned, shamed, humiliated, or gobsmacked by the antics of some bitches at work. Usually, they hadn’t realised that their growing lack of confidence, questioning of their competence, and dread at the thought of getting out of bed each day to front up, was linked to this insidious, spiteful behaviour. They found it difficult to talk about – believing that they should be immune to snide comments, unaffected by someone else’s naughty behaviours, and not concerned by non-verbal nastiness. But it hurt.

 

Here’s an example of what Meredith is talking about:

 

 

Denise turned up at work with a new haircut. “My bitchy co worker looked me up and down, then said, lingeringly ‘oh…and are you, er, happy with your new, er…hair style?’ Or she’d start a conversation with, ‘oh, I really hate to have to tell you this, but…’ then launch into nastiness. I finally realised what she was up to, so I would respond with, ‘then don’t tell me’ and walk off quickly.”

Denise recognised that her professional skills had nothing to do with her hair, but she was about to present to the Board, and was flustered by the intent behind the comment.

 

Are you fucking kidding me? Comments about your hair? Comments about your hair fluster you? You want to take on combat roles, the leadership of nations, all the executive boards and corner offices of the Fortune 500 and you can’t deal with a comment about your hair?

 

Jesus.

 

I think we can give a shout out to Hilary here for not giving a fuck about her hair.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=NmTkWrPZU84

I’m undaunted in my quest to amuse myself by constantly changing my hair.

Hillary Clinton

True story: at Chez JB, hair is kind of an endlessly amusing topic. Mr. JB has incredibly thick, curly hair that is turning white (he mostly blames me for that). Not grey. White. He wears his hair like an old time movie star, slicked back in waves. He is very, very into his hair.

He looks remarkably like this guy, except his hair is a lot more white. He even has the beard at the moment. That will go when the weather warms up, but for now, this is pretty much him:

 

 

His hair doesn’t cost a lot to maintain. He goes to an old school barber, and they have such a good relationship that Mr. JB will pop by EddieTheBarber’s house on a Sunday afternoon to watch the game. He pays $15 for a haircut and uses some special product that he only to replace once or twice a year, so it’s all pretty reasonable.

 

 

But he DOES his hair every day. It has to be perfect or he won’t leave the house. Naturally, his friends and colleagues and clients and even his secretaries mock the shit out of him about his hair. We judge windspeed by whether or not his hair moved.

 

Generally, the answer is no.

 

And he tends to join in the fun, too. He uses “how’s my hair” as an ice-breaker, especially when he sees people checking it out.

 

Anyone seriously being bitchy about his hair would be met with nothing but scorn and a giant “fuck off”.

 

It’s hair. Get over it.

 

Now me, I’m the complete opposite. About four times a year, I go and have expensive highlights and lowlights put in my hair and I have a fancy cut and it costs $200 each time. I know. $800/year on my hair. Ridiculous. I also have expensive shampoos and conditioners and strengthening serums and a really fancy blow-dryer and straightening iron, and honestly, Mr. JB doesn’t begrudge me any of that. He likes my hair to look nice.

 

 

The trouble is that I never do it. I spend all that money, and then I wear a slouchy hat pretty much every day in the winter and a ball cap or straw cowboy hat every day in the summer. The slouchy hat allows me to keep the heat down in the house in the winter, which saves money, which I then spend on my hair, which I keep under a hat….

 

LOGIC!

 

True story: my hairdryer recently died and had to be replaced. If you use a hairdryer every day, it will last somewhere between one and two years. If you use it less frequently, it will last longer.

 

Mine lasted 11 years.

 

Yep. That’s how much I use it. But I replaced it with this awesome John Frieda $200 one! That should last 30 years I figure. Also, I used Airmiles to get it. Not cash. Yes, I realize they are essentially the same thing, but it doesn’t feel that way.

 

More logic!

 

 

Obviously, I come in for a lot of hair mocking, too. I get a round of applause every time I come downstairs with wet hair that I have clearly just washed. The idea that I would somehow be flustered if an untoward comment was made about my hair just…. astonishes me.

 

And that’s kind of the point. I haven’t read the book about the Eight Types of Bitches yet, although I did order it from Amazon. I have a feeling it will be a gold mine. Meredith is publishing excerpts on Psychology Today, and without exception, what she cites as soul-crippling bitchiness that causes so-called strong, resilient, intelligent, confident, capable women to crumble is utter ridiculousness.

 

Leadership requires some pretty specific characteristics. You can google about a million sites on the net that will summarize the qualities of a leader, and you will almost certainly come across the same set of qualities over and over again:

 

 

Let’s look at Sun Tzu, for example.

 

Intelligence

Credibility

Humaneness

Courage

Discipline

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sun_Tzu

 

Basically, you need to be smart and very good at what you do. You need to show respect for others, while still taking bold risks and you need strength of character and the will to persevere in the face of obstacles, whatever they may be.

 

If you can’t deal with a comment about your hair, or a secretary who is just plain fucking rude and incompetent, you are never going to lead anything other than a charge to the pharmacy to renew your prescription for Prozac.

 

 

More from Meredith:

 

Another woman was stunned when her admin assistant wasn’t happy about typing up client data bases.

“When I enquired how she was going, she said ‘I refuse to do this shit.’ Whatever I delegated wasn’t good enough, and it became a battle to get the work done. One day she was late back from lunch by two hours. I called on her mobile, and she said that her car had broken down. I asked when she would be back, and she yelled ‘when I want to get there!’ She decided that she would go shopping while waiting for the RACV. I was concerned and suggested she needed to return to the office as soon as possible. Could she get a bus or tram? You see, this happened every week. She would disappear for four or five hours and blame everyone else but herself. The other days of the week she tried to have her lunch break at 4pm, so she could go to the gym. I explained we needed her until 5pm, and she had to take a lunch break at lunchtime when someone else could mind the phones. She kept calling me a bitch because I prevented her from exercising. She also handled the petty cash and I queried why she was taking money to pay for her coffees. She insisted that her old boss let her do it, so I was a bitch for raising it. “

 

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/working-btches/201303/who-are-the-hardest-women-work

 

You know how you deal with the above situation?

 

 

Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.

 

I really can’t wait to get this book and read it and take apart all the examples of crippling bitchiness that ladies simply can’t deal with. So far, they can’t handle comments about their hair and they have no idea how to discipline a secretary. Sounds promising. Let’s put them in charge of the CIA. What could possibly go wrong?

 

You know who does show leadership abilities? The ones who can identify weak spots and address them? The ones who are capable of making decisions and soldiering on in the face of adversity and hostility?

 

The bitches.

 

 

It’s no real mystery why women who are at the top of the corporate ladder are stigmatized as bitches. They are. But bitchiness will only get you so far. There are very few men who will crumple if you make a bitchy comment about their hair. You can take out the layer of weak, fragile, pathetic ladies, but after that, you’re playing hardball.

 

If the top is what you’re after, go for it. Be as bitchy as you like on your way up. But once you’re there, the game will change. Men play rough. And for keeps.

 

Whatever you do, don’t throw like a girl.

 

 

Lots of love,

 

JB