Hey, did you hear the news? The Attorney General out in California is brilliant, dedicated and tough. Oh, she’s also really fucking hot. Her name is Kamala Harris.
Barry and Kamala have been friends for quite some time, so when he threw out his “by far, the best looking attorney general” comment, it was in the context of that friendship, but even if it wasn’t, so what? What, exactly is the problem, in telling an attractive person they are attractive?
Well, if the President is telling Joe Biden he looks good in swimming trunks, we have no problem at all.
But compliment a woman? Oh now we have a problem. And by “we” I don’t mean “all of us”, because most of us are adults who understand that some people are better looking than others and that noticing such a thing does not automatically equal sexism. No, by “we”, I mean “ugly bitches”.
And look who’s leading the pack?
The article is just one giant clusterfuck of stupidity with very little worth addressing. Being complimented on your looks is “insidiously dangerous”? You need a dictionary, bitch and a little perspective.
Getting shot by a drone is insidiously dangerous (shout out to John Brown @ humidpress on Twitter).
Child predators are insidiously dangerous.
Chromium 6 in the water supply is insidiously dangerous.
Yo, you look good today?
Not so much. According to the research Amanda quotes, compliments on how you look can undermine a lady’s fragile sense of professionalism and make her question whether she is being taken seriously.
If a compliment about your looks makes you question your professionalism and seriousness, then you have neither.
I’ve already covered how ridiculous it is to present women as fragile little cupcakes who can’t handle comments about their hair while simultaneously demanding more responsibility and power.
What I want to talk about today is the hypocrisy of women USING beauty to their advantage, and then crying foul when they get called on it. Let’s take another look at Kamala.
You see those lips? Think they’re that glossy naturally? Think her eyebrows arc like that as a gift from the gods? Think her hair looks like that when she rolls out of bed in the morning? Are her lashes that long and lush? Her cheeks that lovely shade of pink?
Nope.
They’re not. Kamala’s beauty is enhanced with the skillful application of cosmetics and powders and her hair is the result of some time-consuming and very expensive processing, even more so than most, because she is a black woman.
That’s a very interesting subject in and of itself, but I’ll let Melissa Harris-Perry speak to that.
The real question is WHY does Kamala put so much effort into her appearance? Certainly, a very basic standard of grooming is required by her profession, but that applies to men as well. Kamala is already a beautiful woman and she could get away with almost no styling at all and still look really good, so why does she take her natural beauty and heighten it even further?
Because there are some very real advantages to being beautiful. Economists even have a name for it: it’s called the beauty premium. And it applies to both men and women. The more attractive you are, the greater the advantage: higher earnings, better jobs, more opportunities and you are assumed competent, regardless of what your occupation happens to be.
http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2010/07/19/the-beauty-advantage.html
That’s a pretty sweet deal. And one that smart women will obviously take full advantage of: even feminists!
Do you know who this is?
Gloria Steinem emerged as one of the leading voices of the early Second Wave feminists – people were willing to listen to her because she was beautiful. And she used that to her full advantage, keeping her long hair flowing and wrapping her tight ass in tiny skirts with her lanky legs on full display.
You can bet your ass that Kamala knows she is beautiful and she knows how to use that beauty to her advantage. She’s the Attorney General! Comments about her looks have obviously not been detrimental to her success at work.
You see, the truth is that men react to beauty. A beautiful face triggers a pleasure in men’s brains that is very similar to cocaine. Men are momentarily stunned by beauty and it makes them feel good.
How do women react to beautiful women? Oh, not so well. Look at this study from the University of Ottawa in Canada, recording women’s reactions to an attractive woman dressed to emphasize her beauty.
Results showed that almost all women were aggressive toward the attractive female whose only indiscretion was to dress in a sexually provocative manner. The women in this situation were more likely to roll their eyes at their peer, stare her up and down and show anger while she was in the room. When she left the room, many of them laughed at her, ridiculed her appearance, and/or suggested that she was sexually available. By contrast, when the same attractive peer was dressed conservatively, the group of women assigned to this second scenario barely noticed her, and none of them discussed her when she left the room.
Vaillancourt, T.& Sharma, A. (2011). Intolerance of sexy peers: Intrasexual competition among women. Aggressive Behavior, 37, 569-577. doi: 10.1002/ab.20413
When Samantha Brick wrote about her experiences with other women, responding negatively to her beauty, she created a shitstorm, but not because she was pointing out that other women are petty, jealous bitches.
Nope. Apparently she isn’t beautiful ENOUGH to claim that other women hate her. If only she were prettier! Then the bitch pack would descend and shred her.
I doubt very much that Kamala was the slightest bit offended by the President’s remark that she is “by far, the best looking Attorney General”. She probably is. And I doubt it occurred to any man, anywhere, that complimenting a beautiful women who very clearly WORKS at being beautiful could in any way be construed as an insult.
But you know who did get insulted? Ugly bitches. Because they can’t compete. “Just leave it at brilliant, dedicated and tough”, says Amanda. I guess she imagines she has a shot competing on those terms.
Not fucking likely.
The best thing about unattractive feminists bringing out the claws, ready to take down another woman who is brilliant, dedicated, tough and GORGEOUS is that it shows exactly how much feminists hate other women. Feminism isn’t about supporting women, it’s about trying to level the playing field so the ugly women can compete.
It will never work.
You know what will? Weight Watchers, Bobbi Brown, a proper haircut and some time at the gym. You’ll never change the rules of the game, Amanda. If you want to play, then get in the game. Comb your goddamn hair first, and put on some lipstick.
That’s how you win.
Lots of love,
JB
judgybitch 
So true. Done and Done. Women HATE other attractive women. Hell, Im an old broad ,and I STILL have women hating on me. Bitches, please, eat paleo, lift weights and smile once in a while. Then take a look at your inner self and real motivations. Change those, and you’d be surprised how much more attractive you will become.
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If an attractive woman is in the process of applying for a job, it seems that she is better off not including any photos with her CV. I wonder why…
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Off topic but likely very much of interest to you, JB… I saw that you’re working on a doctorate. Please, for the love of God, read this essay about the economics of the Ph.D.:
http://www.lewrockwell.com/north/north427.html
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My doctorate is in Entrepreneurship and Innovation and I’m looking at the way venture capital is deployed in the biotechnology sector.
It’s one of the hottest business PhDs you can get, focusing on one of the most important emerging economic activities.
That’s WHY I chose it.
I’m not putting in that kind of effort to end up with a mountain of debt and no job. Hell no. Right at this moment, there are 169 faculty positions I can apply for in the US.
And I have the whole girl card to play! Very few women with business PhDs and even fewer with quantitative research interests or skills.
I should be okay.
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In generations past, we had nuns to let us know looking at women was apparently a mortal sin. Now that their influence has receded, we have feminists to take their place. Now that they have someone they like in power, they have to invent incidents so they can feel indignant — their default emotion.
Also no one has mentioned that feminists had no problem with Bill Clinton sexing up an intern but a big problem when Obama simply looked at a woman. Unconscious racism? Afraid of the sexuality of a scary black man?
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You know very well if she said that Obama is the hottest President ever, that she would be on CNN, Huffington Post, and MSNBC as the coolest, hippest person of the week.
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“A beautiful face triggers a pleasure in men’s brains that is very similar to cocaine.”
Very nicely put.
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Good point about Clinton. Bill Clinton “sexed up” most publicly with relatively plain or unattractive women. He knew the pulse of the (feminist side of the) public.
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Yes. This! You don’t even have to be THAT beautiful to get this kind of treatment Samantha talks about. I find it very interesting that all the comments on her article are going on about how she’s not pretty at all and she’s arrogant. Arrogant and ugly. Well, in the first place, she’s admitting that she’s 41 and on the downward slope, and for another, how somebody photographs and how somebody looks in person can often be worlds apart. We forget that celebrities tend to be photogenic because of screen tests they have to go through before being cast in things. Cameras can do FUNKY things to some people’s looks.
Basically, I’d have to see Samantha in person before I knew whether or not I thought she was pretty. But taking care of your appearance and being NICE… has its perks. Ugly, angry women never get to benefit from this so they want to create this fake problem “benevolent sexism”, kind of like Betty Friedan’s “problem with no name”. The problem had no name because it wasn’t a problem.
I don’t think all women react negatively to a pretty woman in the room though. Some of us are A-okay with it and don’t need to be the center of every man’s attention 24/7. Jeez.
Yesterday, though, I had a version of what Samantha talks about. Got my car detailed and the guy threw in the next service up from what I’d ordered… free. And also didn’t charge me the sales tax (which you’re supposed to do.) (total of $100 savings.) Later, at the mall, the sales lady in a little accessories shop was a little passive aggressive with me even though I’m nice to all customer service/retail/waiters/waitresses etc. because those are shit jobs. I’ve had jobs like that before and people are assholes. I never act like an entitled jerk with these people so there just isn’t a real reason for her to be that way.
Now am I going to say I’m the most beautiful woman out there? Of course not. That would be ludicrous. But guaranteed someone (most likely another woman) would say: “she’s not that pretty, I really don’t get why that happened.” Of course they don’t. And that’s her issue to solve.
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That’s exactly what is was. If he’d been doing someone really hot like Marilyn Monroe, it would have been a shitstorm. He did a homely, overweight intern and appeased the feminist gods. Proving once again that they are only pissed about benevolent sexism because they aren’t getting any.
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Yeah, I’m maybe a little more than averagely pretty, but when you add a smile, it’s amazing how attractive you become. Beauty is 50% what you look like and 50% cheerfulness.
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I totally agree with this! It honestly doesn’t take that much. These women are tossing themselves out of the game before they’re even in it. Like… Amanda Marcotte… she’s got a mannish face. Not a lot she can do about that, but a different hair style, better make-up, and scowling less would help. The real problem is her wrinkles are going to form all wrong. She’s going to have that scowl-y look forever if she doesn’t ditch it now. She might think being told to smile is patriarchal oppression but she’ll thank the people who told her that when she’s 60. Well, assuming she would actually start smiling.
This makes me think of the movie “Safety Not Guaranteed”. I don’t know if you’ve seen it or not, but it’s an indie film about this guy who has an ad in the paper asking for a time travel partner. One of the side stories is about this guy revisiting a girl he had a fling with when they were younger. When he first sees her (she’s actually very pretty), he thinks she’s gotten “fat and old”, by the end of the movie he wants her to move to Seattle with him… because she’s NICE and takes care of herself, and she’s baking him pies, and keeps her house clean. (shock, gasp). She makes him a home cooked meal, and all this feminine nurturing crap wins him over. By the end… he thinks she’s beautiful. And I think she’s beautiful, too, because empirically… while a little overweight, she IS a very good-looking woman. But basically, you’re right… personality and attitude can either kill the beauty you’ve got or give it a HUGE boost.
Smart women know that. Ugly feminists don’t. Instead of fighting for “ugly equality”, they could work with the little bit they have and make up for the rest with a charming personality.
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I don’t have any statistics to back me up here, but with all the stories I’ve heard and interactions between women I’ve observed, this is absolutely true. It’s amazing how mean women can be to an attractive women, even one who is perfectly nice. It’s also interesting how much even the most ‘progressive’ and ‘open-minded’ women I know cant’ contain their hatred of slutty women. Much as some women complain about the way women are treated because of their looks or sexuality, the first one’s they should criticize in that department are themselves, not men, who are usually (albeit for selfish reasons) perfectly amenable to attractive women.
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Interesting. So, like, optimizing investment strategies for maximum returns in biotech? That sort of thing? Trying to figure out whether gold nano-particles are the future of medicine or a simply cost-ineffective distraction?
I’m actually a soon-to-be PhD student in the biosciences, and this is kind of interesting as I really like optimization theory, which usually applied in decision theory in business and finance, but also in medicine, though I’m mainly interested in it’s applications to optimizing vaccine effectiveness or possible immunotherapy regimens.
You’re definitely going into a growing field though, so that’s a huge plus. Good luck!
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Undoubtedly.
And anyone could probably make fun of Chris Christie’s weight to his face in public or Joe Lieberman’s face (it’s pretty ugly, right?) and not face nearly as much heat as Obama… calling a woman good-looking, as a tongue-in-cheek aside. I’m beginning to think a some of these women need ‘insensitivity training’ or something.
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Yes, we don’t like slutty women. They bring down the value of everybody else. They make it MUCH harder for a woman who does NOT want to have the most physically (and for many of us emotionally) experience possible with another human being on the first date or within the first month of dating, to not be expected to do that.
Holy crap, yes I HATE slutty women. They need to stop being such dumb sluts. And I don’t hate them because I’m jealous of them. I’m actually NOT jealous of women who have a ton of casual sex. I hate them because if I’m ever single again, good luck to me finding ANY man who I don’t have to screw on the first date just to keep him interested.
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forgot the word “intimate” after physically and emotionally.
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Not that this would ever happen in a billion years, but what would happen if the president referred to Amanda Marcotte as “by far, the world’s best-looking blogger” ??
*crickets*
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“Oh, she’s also really fucking hot. ”
I don’t find her really f*cking hot. She is nice looking. Not particularly beautiful and certainly not drop dead gorgeous, but attractive enough.
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I was talking about Kamal Harris of course. I don’t find Samantha Brick the least bit attractive and neither did many men who commented on her. I think a lot of the backlash Brick got was because she isn’t particularly attractive at all but yet assumed she was. I do realize the UK has lower standards (it has to), but even in the UK Brick would not pass as gorgeous or hot.
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I’m a guy and know that men don’t do these backstabbing things to other guys but every semi-attractive woman I’ve known has claimed that less-attractive women hate them.
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We’d all know he was lying.
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I’ve noticed that if I’m out in a group consisting of both men and women, and a woman with large breasts walks past, it’s almost always the women who will draw attention to her and begin discussing whether they’re real or not.
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Agreed. That, and it’s just generally not enjoyable to be around classless people. They tend to (figuratively) stink up a room. I don’t like male douches either.
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“Because there are some very real advantages to being beautiful. Economists even have a name for it: it’s called the beauty premium. And it applies to both men and women. The more attractive you are, the greater the advantage: higher earnings, better jobs, more opportunities and you are assumed competent, regardless of what your occupation happens to be.”
This is SO true! I see immigrants sometimes complain about discrimination and no doubt it happens but also no doubt, they are average looking. Immigrants with thick accents or who do not know the language hardly at all but are stellar looking babes and hunks don’t complain about squat. They’ve got people bending over backwards to help them in every way possible.
Then there’s the reputation of hotness that works whether or not an individual measures up. Women are under the impression due to popular myth that Black men are well hung. This myth works in the favor of even those Black men who are not well hung.
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So a compliment can destroy a woman’s self esteem? I didn’t know I had so much power.
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People going apeshit over absolutely nothing (cf. Obama’s comment, Donglegate, every Jezebel article ever) does more to alienate me from my female coworkers than any of those big scary words like patriarchy or misogyny.
It converts every single female coworker I have into a walking drama proximity bomb. I could make the “wrong” joke to her, about her, or in earshot of her and get in trouble for it. I could pay her a completely innocuous compliment and get in trouble for it. (Even more disquieting is that, evidently, I can get in trouble whether the female coworker involved got offended or not, just because some other hypersensitive feminist princess decided to get offended on the coworker’s behalf.) Oh, and I can also get in trouble for being too exclusive with her and creating a “boy’s club” hostile work environment. How do you win?
It’s like you’re being forced to play hot potato with a firecracker.
Want to know how to hurt women in the workplace? Create an atmosphere where people begin to dread the presence of a woman because even the slightest non-issue of a statement overheard by or said to her could create a media and/or HR shitstorm that reflects poorly on you, your job performance, and your company.
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I can understand the reasoning. What I can’t understand is how feminists can simultaneously defend sluttiness even as they condemn the male promiscuity that results from (and indeed is almost the only logical conclusion of) slutty behavior. If I refuse to date slutty women then I’m ‘slut-shaming.’ If I date slutty women, then I’m exploiting them. But of course, one cannot at the same time not do something an also not refuse to do something. It’s logically impossible.
Or on can throw ones hands up in the air in futility and not bother dating at all. Which is what I do.
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I’ve actually seen the claim that telling someone to smile is ‘patriarchal’ and that in itself convinces me feminists are paranoid because I don’t think anyone gets told they should ‘smile more’ more than me (and I’m a male). Apparently my default expression is something like a frown, so people always say that to me, to which I usually respond ‘give me something to smile about and I will.’ I guess a I’m victim of the evil patriarchy (even though it’s usually women telling me to smile).
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Disclosure: I’m a Testosterone-American, so Z, you’re free to disregard my opinion right from the start.
> And I don’t hate [sluts] because I’m jealous of them.
The thought never crossed my mind.
> I’m actually NOT jealous of women who have a ton of casual sex.
Oh, I 100 percent believe you. Except…maybe thou dost protest too much?
> I hate them because if I’m ever single again, good luck to me finding ANY man who I don’t have to screw on the first date just to keep him interested.
I’ve found that stimulating conversation, combined with “I’m not that type of a girl” at the end of the date, works wonders. This assumes, of course, that you can talk about something other than what rotten bastards your ex-husbands were.
I agree with you that the women who enjoy their sexuality and who demonstrate this to a man they like, make things that much harder for any woman who decides that a man may get sex with her only when he’s paid his dues, jumped through her hoops, and groveled enough.
But hey, what do I know? I’m a male, ergo a perpetually horny brute.
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“I agree with you that the women who enjoy their sexuality and who demonstrate this to a man they like, make things that much harder for any woman who decides that a man may get sex with her only when he’s paid his dues, jumped through her hoops, and groveled enough.”
While I agree with the rest of your post, I think it is quite presumptuous to assume that not wanting to have sex early on is about jumping through hoops or paying their dues. My suspicion is that the ones who have sex on the first date are the ones who are most insistent about the man paying for dinner.
As a generally cautious and behaviorally ‘conservative’ person (male), I can wholly understand why one would want to ‘wait and see’ rather than jumping into the sack.
It is, I think, a myth that women who behave promiscuously are merely ‘enjoying their sexuality.’ This is based on an idealized view of sexuality. Case in point, why is it that women (and perhaps men, though I don’t know their statistics as well) who are abused as children or as adults or suffer from certain psychological illnesses ‘enjoy their sexuality’ so much more than mentally healthy women who were not abused (again, probably so for men too)? Often sex-positivism seems to have an unrealistic view of sex that, while it might make sense according to the sterile rational assumptions of ‘sexual economics,’ often does not agree so much with the human psyche. Especially the human female psyche, much as feminists would disparage me for adding that.
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That’s not the end of it. If you’re competing for a job with a woman, she may run to the HR office to “take you out”.
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Um, Marketing Department. I’m a petroleum engineer. My firm is big and rolling in cash. Our Marketing-Client Relations-PR people are 90% female. And dare I say, 90% are quite “attractive” in that very oppressive way that the 90% male oil & gas industry likes them. Young, barely educated, but quite physically appealing. They have jobs because they look good. That could just be my male, binary mind working its oppressive machinations, but seriously if not for marketing and communications and HR the Rocky Mountain region would still be the wild west with nothing but male prospectors, risk takers, builders, and a handful of female prostitutes. Then again, perhaps it hasn’t changed that much.
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I don’t think this is a real issue – most men in fact WON’T take you seriously if you put out on the first date. If you do, then how many other men must you have done that for? You’ll just be consigned to semen receptacle status.
Make him work for it, and he will value it more. But some sort of timetable is not helpful – sex is a natural expression of mutual attraction, and should just happen when it is right to do so, and not withheld because an arbitrarily decided amount of time has not yet elapsed.
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I’d like to jump in here and tell a woman the absolutely BEST way to get a man and will contradict everything that people think especially women because there is a slight risk that their effort will go badly but this tactic has the best chance for success, 100% guaranteed and why not try the best tactic instead of being safer.
IF a woman truly wants to keep a man that she is enthralled with she should first make him WAIT a little longer than usual for the actual date not sex! Flirt with him over text and the phone. Get him excited about meeting up but each time he asks you out tell him you can’t but you really want to meet up and get a drink. Keep him going for about a week or so but don’t overdue it…
Then, on your FIRST date FUCK THE SHIT OUT OF HIM! I mean fuck him like he’s never been fucked before(and any woman who says that they don’t want to do that is full of shit)… After sex, do some cuddling, act like you’re into him but DO NOT ASK HIM TO HANG OUT AGAIN!!!! That part is key since most men are used to women asking him when the woman will get to see him again after sex… This will start to make his head hurt! ANd do not let him spend the night!!!!
Now, since you gave him such awesome sex, he’ll come crawling back for some more because it was good and he’ll want more… This is when the woman has to start being aloof again. Go right back to making him wait to hang again. Get him chasing… Confuse him! Tell him how the sex was so amazing, send him a nude pic or two but don’t go out with him again so soon. When he asks just tell him you have plans and do not offer an alternative! Blow him off for a while and don’t text him back so soon after he texts you!
Men do not value anything they have to wait for!!!! END OF STORY! Form men when we have to wait for sex it turns into a challenge/ a conquest and nothing more! Women have this backwards and that’s why they never see many of the men they sleep with again especially after making him wait for any extended period of time! Men will NEVER appreciate a woman that doesn’t fuck on a first date or second or third!!! We all know that’s just what women do to TRY and get us to like them. This tactic is ugly and transparent to ALL MEN!!!
The next date you have with that guy, make-out with him… Get hot and horny, feel his cock under the table… Tell him you LOVED the sex, let him think he’s getting some more that night BUT DON’T GO HOME WITH HIM THAT NIGHT!!!! This will drive him crazy!!! I promise…
Keep this up for about a month, only seeing him 2-3 times for that month… And I promise.. You have the man right where you want him!
Men value what they’ve had but can’t have again!
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hehe yeah, in my defense, I don’t hate pretty women. If a woman is pretty and reasonably nice, I like her just fine. And while I’m probably a lot more sexually conservative than she is (it’s almost hard not to be), outside of a committed relationship, I’m not going to automatically call every woman who is less conservative than me, a slut. But some behavior is just tacky and classless and it changes the perception of what is “expected” of every woman in the sexual market place. And screw that.
With my husband being a little over a decade older than me, there is a greater than average chance he’ll leave me here (through death). If I’m not SUPER old, I don’t think I would want to be totally alone. I enjoy living with a man, having that companionship and love. I guess the one benefit of the sexual revolution is that there actually ARE more single/divorced men in all age ranges these days. But good luck getting one to trust you after they’ve been screwed over by women who can’t be faithful, who leave them on a whim, them demand child support. (Wow, how liberated.)
I think at some point male promiscuity gets a little gross, too, but back when it was men having a lot of sex with a lot of different women (from their perspective) it was still this very small overall percentage of women. Fine, whatever. As long as they didn’t become a biohazard and could settle down after they sowed their oats or whatever. I get that men and women have evolved in different ways, but I still think sexual restraint on the part of most women makes us overall happier. (restraint meaning: before commitment.) I’m really not sure where this idea that a woman who waits is not sexual or won’t put out once married. Or “doesn’t like sex”. We like sex just fine. We just like the guy to be in bed with us the next morning and roll over and tell us he loves us. This isn’t really that much to ask. I’m willing to do (and do) the traditional lady things (taking care of the house and cooking and just being generally nice and agreeable to my husband) in exchange for those warm feelings. But, yeah… the “battle of the sexes” is a mess, and I lay most of the blame at the feet of the “sexual revolution.”
Women may think they have a lot of sexual power now, but they have far less. They don’t have the power to gain commitment from a man. And they don’t have the power to turn down his advances and keep him interested because, oh look, there’s a slut throwing her vagina at him over there.
Meh, sluts need to be shamed. Shame them shame them shame them. Obviously multiple baby daddies and STDs aren’t enough to curb some of these women’s behavior. And it really hurts EVERYBODY.
Like I’ve said in previous places, I’m not going to shame a woman who really is just really into having lots of random casual sex who won’t wake up one morning on the wrong side of 35 single and sad and feeling used up. Fine. That’s a small minority of women, probably no larger than we’ve had at other points in history. It didn’t break down society and the relationships between men and women. But when practically EVERY woman in the most sexually appealing age range has no sexual restraint… well look at the problems around you.
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No, I protest because the automatic assumption IS that the hate comes from jealousy, but, I laid out my actual motivations/feelings on the matter instead. I think on the comment thread of a post about all the jealous women who hate pretty women, that I should clarify my hatred of sluts, LOL. I don’t hate pretty women. I DO hate the bulk majority of sluts with all the blackness and hate in my little black heart. There is almost no social room for women to be classy and respected anymore and that crap is the fault of the huge influx of “sluts” since the sexual revolution. There are just too many of them. A few, fine. I don’t want to hold back or repress anybody wired very differently from me. But from what I’ve observed and seen and all the girls around me that I’ve watched cry over their one night stands that they tried to be “tough” for… most girls don’t even WANT this shit. They just feel like they have to, now, or face ridicule from their peers.
LOL, and you know, that strategy (pleasant conversation) worked for me when I got married. I just think… it’s gotten “so much worse” since then. So you might be right about that. And yes, I can carry on a conversation. And no, I don’t bad-mouth previous relationships.
haha it’s not really about groveling or hoops, it’s just about being loved by the man who you’re having sex with… something actually important to many women. Even in the hook-up culture much fewer women statistically seem to actually “like” casual sex than men. They have to pretty much shut down all their emotions in order to not be hurt when the guy doesn’t want them the next morning. We’ve just evolved to have sex and commitment come together. Just like men haven’t. I don’t fault men for sowing their oats, but when they are ready to settle down they need to be disease free and committed and respect women who have waited for commitment and love.
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Thank you, Mark!
Though re: paying for dinner, I’d take a man not buying dinner as a red flag, mainly that he wasn’t as traditional as I am. I like the traditional gender roles and feel that if the guy wants to split the check that he’s a mangina (sorry, that’s how I feel), and a “feminist” whether he calls himself that or not. I want the man to be the man and I’ll be the woman.
But I wouldn’t order the most expensive thing on the menu, and I don’t think dates have to “cost money”. There are a ton of fun things to do together, that don’t cost a lot of money and in some cases any money. Last I checked hiking and picnics were free.
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That’s very true. But, at the same time, part of the time table thing I think comes into play because these days a lot of men seem content to let a relationship go ON and ON without any real commitment. (i.e. engagement.) I just feel (and this is very old-fashioned of me), that if a man is not looking for a wife, then I would not be looking to date him because what is the POINT of dating if you aren’t moving toward a loving commitment? (And I also get why men are not so eager to get married now. The odds are not in their favor and they often get screwed over in divorce/family courts.)
I can “hang out” with my friends without sexual tension or pressure. I do get that sex is a natural expression of mutual attraction, the issue is that there was a time when courtship/dating/whatever the hell kids are calling what they’re doing now… didn’t go on and on and on for years. You were actively looking for someone you could spend your life with. You made that selection, and then you moved on with it.
In that world, it was perfectly acceptable for a woman to wait til marriage. (or at the very least until there was a diamond on her finger.) Now, though… with women wanting to go through college first and have careers and not settle down til their thirties… it’s not very realistic. But I still think we’ve lost a lot from this shift.
There are still people like this out there, the problem is, most of them are fundamentalist religious people. Which carries its own set of problems/baggage.
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lol no thank you. I respect if this method “works” for women, but the issue for me is… I don’t sleep with men I don’t LOVE. And who don’t love me. If I’m ever single again and that means I spend the rest of my life with cats, so be it.
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Well… you know… they say “the patriarchy hurts men, too”. 😛
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That’s……odd advice. I can sort of understand what you’re driving at, but I could never be that manipulative. Thank goodness I’m long-time married and unlikely to ever be in the dating market again. It sounds awful.
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I used to go through that a lot in my dating days. I’d go out with friends and get a lot of male attention. Not because I was the best looking girl in the room, but because I was fit, well dressed and would be nice to men when they approached me. Smiling *does* make a big difference. But my girl friends would get really miffed and one, in particular, always had to tell me I was “cute, but not drop dead gorgeous.”
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Also, dressing better. Seriously. Unless one is extremely overweight (obese) then there are fashions out there that will still make you look good even if your figure leaves much to be desired. But, again, any sort of attention paid to physical appearance is “patriarchal” and not to be seriously entertained. **eye roll** Thank the gods I was raised by Southern belles and gentlemen.
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I think it sounds kind of hot, but also a shitload of work!
So I’m with you sqt. So glad I don’t have to date. Ugh. Sounds awful.
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Actually, I’m collecting data about biotech firms that are outside established clusters and looking at their success rates in attracting venture capital.
Common theory (Michael Porter, especially) says you must be in a cluster. I don’t think that’s true anymore.
I’m collecting the data in binary form and trying to prove that standard logistic regressions aren’t as robust as proportional hazards regressions in getting prevalence ratios correct.
*snoozefest*
That’s my contribution to theory – using the hazards regressions rather than the more common logistic regressions. It works in this case because there is a clear hazard: distance from an established cluster.
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I was thinking the same. Odd advice. I get the thing about ‘forbidden fruit’, but this is the sort of a play an easy lay would use solely to be manipulative.
I’d think an IQ above 90 would see through that, but the “little general’s” IQ is probably below that range. When the blood flow goes back to the core instead of the extremity that edge is gone. Not the stuff of longterm relationships for people who have a lot of good options.
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Yep, calling a woman ‘cute’ or ‘healthy’ are classic female put downs. I’ve always been called ‘cute’ so horrific, I’m far from a classically good looking person, but ‘cute’? Puppies, shower curtains are cute!
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Nice point.
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Re: black men benefiting en masse from the “myth”.
Not true, because the average and small black men eventually have to put everything on the table. I was friends with a guy in the military whose unfortunate nickname was “Boydingo” (not Mandingo), due to his inability to fit the stereotype. He eventually married a woman who he met inline, which led to the same women (black) who refused to date him because of his shortcomings, calling him a “uncle Tom sellout” for getting together with a white woman.
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Thanks!
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LOL! You know… even if that were true… I think a lot of men actually have a soft spot for “cute” particularly if it’s paired with decency and a smile. Also, cute really does age better from what I’ve seen. So, there is also that.
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well yes, of course, that’s a given!
But I bet dollars to donuts Miss Marcotte and the Jezebelers wouldn’t be screeching about the disgusting patriarchy then.
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Let me just say that no one was calling my friend “cute.” She was basically invisible to men (she was a little chubby), so it was pretty obvious she was jealous. Men were always nice to me and I figured that was the only yardstick that mattered in the dating world.
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That sounds kind of intense. Is the main argument for clusters basically economies of scale or something? Or “competitive advantage” as being more important than comparative advantage (from Porter’s wiki article)? Makes me feel old. When I took intro econ classes just a few years ago, everything was about comparative advantage and specialization.
Are you interested in the policy-making implications too? Are you a vociferous opponent of ‘cluster development initiatives?’ That seems like a good topic to cool down a conversation that’s getting too heated, “where do you stand on cluster development?” Maybe up there with ‘are you Guelph or a Ghibelline?” lol.
But if something doesn’t sound boring to the common ear, then it probably isn’t worth doing, so you must be on the right track. I can’t complain about a ‘snoozefest,’ as in couple years my life may well revolve around how effectively some cytokine nobody cares about does something to another cytokine nobody cares about.
Oh, and please, if you ever hear a gender studies student complain about how difficult their thesis paper on the prevalence gender-bias in ‘The Mickey Mouse Club’ in the early 90s or whatever is, please explain your research to them in great, esoteric detail, perhaps show them some mathematical equations (just to see their head explode), just to provide said gender studies student with a much needed humbling experience of seeing what real research looks like. It would do them good. (Am I a sadist for relishing the idea of crushing the dreams of gender studies students?).
Tangentially, I saw this article on google news after your post on your friends’ 3D printer development. Apparently 3D printers may save lives.
http://www.latimes.com/news/science/sciencenow/la-sci-sn-faux-synthetic-tissue-3d-printer-self-assembling-20130404,0,6286611.story
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Calling a woman “cute” is the same thing as calling a man “nice.” It may be true, but it’s what used to be called a back-handed compliment…
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Of course Manjaw Mandy thinks complimenting a woman’s appearance is “insidiously dangerous.” She’s never been on the receiving end and doesn’t know how to handle it. And no one should compliment women who are better looking than Mandy (nearly all of them) because it might hurt her feelings, and that is not allowed.
As actual manufacturing has been offshored to China, Mandy is part of the the growing mob filling the vacuum with the new industry of manufacturing faux outrage. It’s a growth business and mostly employs women (win-win!).
You’re absolutely right that the ugly feminists want not to elevate women, they want to drag the more accomplished and prettier women to their level. Same thing with the so-called pay gap: the result of their advocacy won’t be to increase women’s pay, but to reduce men’s pay. Not that it matters to them. The bastards had it coming for thousands of years of suppressing women.
I’m still on the fence though whether it’s the anger that causes the ugliness in feminists or the ugliness that causes the anger…
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Patriarchy!
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So true, I feel the pain. Bless those feminists for defending everyone’s right not to smile or be happy, and most importantly, the right of men to where dresses and heels. Damned patriarchy, confining me to the prison of my pants and loafers.
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Indeed. But the real point is that patriarchy needs to be destroyed because it “hurts” men, and that’s unfairly taking the job away from feminists…
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Oh boohoo! A man no longer has to yoke himself to another woman, or shell out big bucks in order to get laid. At least as long as he’s a decent catch. Cry me a river!
No one is holding a gun to your head. If you don’t want to put out then don’t. Like JB just said:
“You’ll never change the rules of the game, Amanda. If you want to play, then get in the game. Comb your goddamn hair first, and put on some lipstick.”
Or in your case: ‘shave your pussy goddamn pussy first, and put on some sexy underwear.’
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Pants and loafers are comfy. You got the better deal.
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LOL True story.
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The Secret Service would grab him bodily and rush him, with lights and sirens, to an optometrist. “We have a vision-fail emergency with the president! Make way!”
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Charming. Can’t imagine why I wouldn’t want to “put out”.
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Yep. It took me a long time to figure out not all women were getting the kind of treatment from men I was getting.
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HA!
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I think the ugliness causes the anger. Though there are a few hot feminists, but they are stupid.
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whoever made cargo shorts got it right. those things have enormous pockets. like a woman’s purse on my legs, with only additional support via belt
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A man hasn’t had to do any of that for a long time. Depends on what he’s looking to screw. In South America, there are even prostitutes that put out for only $2.50. Tipping them a dollar would impact the economy. Enjoy.
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Well, I can’t add much to that, you’ve brought up and answered all the main points in a salient fashion! Things have shifted as you say, not for the better in terms of benefit to society as a whole.
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Haha! Yeah, gender studies theses are sooooo robust. Data not required.
The main argument for clusters?
I hope you’re sitting down, because you may lapse into a coma,but remember, you asked!
😛
When investors are looking at pre-IPO biotech companies, they look carefully at the non-financial information contained in financial statements, because the companies typically don’t have any real assets at the pre-IPO stage.
What they have are things like qualifications, patents and strategic alliances both upstream and downstream. The idea behind clusters is that it’s easier to create those alliances when you are in the same geographic location. You literally hang out with strategic partners and find out how your interests align. Grab a beer, that sort of thing. Networks grow up around some physical location.
But this blog is an excellent example of why that no longer applies. I don’t need to hang out with you in person (although that might be fun) to understand that your two little cytokines might be a useful addition to my new immunotherapy treatment.
As long as we can connect and have some means of discussing our interests, where you are physically doesn’t matter.
Seriously, I can’t imagine doing any kind of intense research that doesn’t involve data analysis of some sort. Jesus. That’s a lot of pages to fill with just straight up bullshit.
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Ouch.
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You say she’s a little bit chubby so as long as she’s not obese maybe your friend would have better luck with black men. More of them seem to prefer a little cushion for the pushin’.
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I’ve heard someone say that “gorgeous” looks like transvestite when he/she ages, whereas “cute” is forever.
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“shave your pussy goddamn pussy first”
Why?
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Which country are you in? Its common in the States for people not to smile all that much because they are generally unhappy. There’s a lot of depression, anxiety, etc here.
And the young people are complete downers. A real nihilistic lot.
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The US. It’s usually older people who say ‘smile more.’ I’d probably fit more into the category of uptight and work-obsessed than nihilistic… though did used to read a lot of Nietzsche, lol.
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Z, “One of the side stories is about this guy revisiting a girl he had a fling with when they were younger. When he first sees her (she’s actually very pretty), he thinks she’s gotten “fat and old”, by the end of the movie he wants her to move to Seattle with him… because she’s NICE and takes care of herself, and she’s baking him pies, and keeps her house clean. (shock, gasp). She makes him a home cooked meal, and all this feminine nurturing crap wins him over. By the end… he thinks she’s beautiful. And I think she’s beautiful, too, because empirically… while a little overweight, she IS a very good-looking woman. But basically, you’re right… personality and attitude can either kill the beauty you’ve got or give it a HUGE boost.”
Well that’s it right there really. She’s PRETTY. No amount of sweet words and apple pie baking is going to turn a 2 into a coveted wife. A 6 sure. And being that it was a movie they probably cast an 8 but dressed in plain clothes or even eye glasses so the audience is supposed to think she’s ordinary looking.
That’s what they did on Ugly Betty. She wasn’t ugly. They just put her in braces and glasses and dorky banks and POOF we are supposed to be fooled into thinking she’s ugly.
If you watch any of the ugly ducking to glamorous swan movies, its the same technique. Take an already above average looking pretty girl, throw a pair of glasses and a bad hair cut on her, and we’re supposed to have our “ugly duckling”. Then half way through the movie take the glasses off, smear some red lip stick on her and POOF we’re supposed to believe an “ugly” girl transformed into a beauty.
She was a beauty all along.
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Is Obama the hottest president ever? I’m trying to think who else was considered alright in the looks department. Clinton? Kennedy? I know Kennedy’s wife was thought to be the cat’s pajamas, which I don’t quite understand. I don’t find that she had attractive facial features at all.
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Or in your case: ‘shave your pussy goddamn pussy first, and put on some sexy underwear.’
Nothing could help Amanjaw and did you have to bring up her pussy. I just threw up in my mouth a little.
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Nope. My goal is to just keep Mr. Z healthy and happy so I have as long a life as possible with him! Ideally we’ll die together in a plane crash, but that means we have to travel more to up those odds. 😛
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I agree no amount of pie baking is going to turn a 2 into a coveted wife, but really, aren’t most 2’s feminists anyway? They don’t even know HOW to bake pies. Their ovens probably frighten them.
And yeah, they definitely cast a beautiful woman but she was obviously “beautiful for her age” (she couldn’t have competed directly against a 20 year old) and she WAS overweight… but she carried it well. So what he saw in the beginning was somewhat accurate compared to the perfect club princesses he was used to bedding, so I didn’t think anything was portrayed unrealistically there. You’d have to watch and judge for yourself, though.
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I agree. I hate to say that, but… I do agree to a large extent with this. Though I think it might be a little deeper than that. There are different kinds of beauty. There is “pretty” which is more delicate features/bone structure, and there is this sort of “super model look” that sometimes ages more harshly. “Pretty” ages better. “Hot”, sometimes not so much. But I think we’re really saying the same thing, just using different words. But it’s the same basic idea.
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Of course not. Just like they wouldn’t whine about the evils of benevolent sexism in general if ANY of it was ever directed their way.
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I actually think Kamala Harris resembles Obama. They look like siblings.
Obama has complimented male staffers on their looks also;
At a speech last March, Obama pointed out his secretary of the Interior, Ken Salazar, by calling him “a good-looking guy.” (http://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2012/03/21/remarks-president-energy)
A couple of months ago, Obama gave a shout-out to the “outstanding Secretary of the Navy,” Ray Mabus. “There he is right there — the good-looking guy over at the end.” (http://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2013/02/26/remarks-president-impact-sequester-newport-news-va)
taken from – http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2013/04/kamala-harris-good-looking-obama-sexist.html
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