Ladies, you all know by now that I am one judgy bitch, but I’ll bet you didn’t know just how fast I can slap you into a box.
You have 20 seconds to impress me, and then your time is up.
Here are the main things I will be evaluating about you:
How fat are you?
Fat is good.
How much make-up are you wearing?
Four dollar hooker is good.
Do you have any sense of fashion at all?
Slovenly is good.
What is up with your hair?
Rat’s nest is good.
Do you have a nice smile?
Crooked teeth, grimace and halitosis is good.
Is your skin clear?
Age spots, wrinkles and pimples are good
How tall are you?
Freakishly tall or small, either is good.
Touched up your highlights recently?
Four inches of grey regrowth is very good.
How’s that fake tan?
Orange with the texture of a leather handbag is good.
How’s that eyeshadow?
Pink glitter liner and purple eyeshadow is great!
What’s on your feet?
Tattered, smelly gym shoes are good. Or useless, precarious stilettos.
How big are your boobs?
Bazongas or pancakes, either will do.
Do you have a tattoo?
Tramp stamp is excellent.
How short is your skirt?
Visible underwear is good.
How straight are your teeth?
Bucktoothed overbite is good.
Are your teeth white?
Coffee, tobacco and wine stained preferred.
Is your jewelry tasteful?
Rhinestones are perfect. Plastic pearls are good.
How’s your manicure?
She-devil talons or chewed to the bloody nubs, either is good.
How’s your personality?
Ha ha! Just kidding. Who gives a fuck about your personality?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1391477/Women-pass-judgement-20-seconds-meeting-them.html
WHY am I checking other women out in such exquisite detail?
Well, duh. I’m trying to assess the level of competitive threat. I’ve already contributed to the gene pool by having three children, and I’m not interested in having any more, but you might be. That could dilute the resources coming my way, and I’m obviously going to guard against that.
It’s rather selfish of me, in the long, long term, as refusing to share my husband’s DNA freely is probably impeding our development as a species, but too fucking bad. The Scientific American reports that a past willingness to breed fairly freely, even with other humanlike species, is probably what gave homo sapiens the upper edge against those other species and allowed us to become the triumphant victors in the DNA wars.
That’s all good and well, and I’m glad our ancestors were getting down with as many and as varied a number of people as possible, but the wars are over, we have won and I’m not feeling very generous when it comes to sharing my husband’s DNA.
It therefore makes me rather relieved to know that in England, where Peter Lloyd lives, the hourglass figure is becoming a thing of the past. Ladies have packed SEVEN extra inches around their waists since 1951, and a full 38% of them are overweight.
Not coincidentally, 35% of British women would rather be thin than earn more money. A further 8% would actually give UP £1000 to be thin.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2312941/British-women-admit-THIN-earn-money.html
Hmmm. That’s curious. I wonder why? If women’s value is primarily in how much money they earn, why should they care more about being thin?
Ha ha, don’t be silly. It’s because of the patriarchy, twisting women’s fragile little minds into believing that the entire point of their existence is to reproduce, and that the best reproductive strategy is to attract the very best DNA you can to ensure healthy, happy offspring.
And clearly, that’s not true. That’s obviously just a big lie based on millions of years of evolution concocted by some horrible men in lab coats who hate women.
Men’s preference for a slender woman with a small waist, and pronounced hips and breasts is simply a way of oppressing women, and the cult of thinness is a way to get women to focus on their bodies rather than their minds, which keeps them out of the upper echelons of society.
“Our culture pressures women to tend to their bodies. But if you don’t tend to your mind, how can you ascend into other levels of society?”
http://www.bc.edu/bc_org/rvp/pubaf/chronicle/v4/O5/HESSE-BIBER.html
Because everybody knows thin women are also stupid, right?
Yeah, wrong.
The hourglass figure is strongly correlated with women’s fertility, and no amount of screaming that fat is beautiful is going to change that, or men’s preferences.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/3682657.stm
No matter what you actually do all day, or what your personal preferences towards reproduction happen to be, your brain and your body and your DNA just want to get the mini-me factory rolling, and that means you are constantly, and often unconsciously, evaluating the fitness and fertility status of the people around you, even if you have ZERO intention of smashing up your DNA into a little bundle of snuggly joy.
The minute an egg makes the leap from ovary to fallopian tube and heads for a sperm party in the uterus, a woman’s brain will prefer the smell of men oozing with testosterone, men who have features associated with masculinity such as a deep voice and a strong jawline.
It’s not a CONSCIOUS partiality, it’s a relic from our past that still has an impact on our instinctive preferences today.
http://www.livescience.com/28812-women-prefer-smell-of-manly-guys.html
Men have a similar instinctive preference: they like a high hip to waist ratio, because it DOES in fact, signal fertility.
It is now verboten to say that, because it makes the chubby ladies feel bad. Captain Capitalism has a few thoughts on this new prohibition against men openly declaring their preferences for women’s bodies, and I’ll just leave it right here for you.
http://captaincapitalism.blogspot.ca/2013/04/inducing-shock-in-matriarchy.html
Let’s get back to Peter Lloyd. What the hell does any of this have to do with Peter Lloyd?
Well, the fact is that ladies police each other in this competition to capture the best DNA, whether they understand it as that, or not. Indeed, it seems that even smart ladies with PhD’s can’t quite grasp what policing and evaluating other women’s appearances is all about. There’s no question that we DO, it’s just a matter of the WHY.
What’s going on in the minds of women? Have we become so vigilant about how we look in general — and our aging appearance specifically — that we’ve lost sight of the fact that we’re all in this together? Do we question and critique others because of our own fears and ambivalence about how we will deal as our looks change? Remember, by comparing, competing and then devaluing others in order to boost our own shaky sense of self, we join forces with the very culture that has created the need to do just that!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/vivian-diller-phd/body-image_b_1678184.html
Well, that’s the thing, isn’t it? We’re not all in this together.
And we keep an eye on each other. 20 seconds. That’s how long it will take me to assess your threat as a competitor. I will observe all your features, particularly those that signal health and fertility and measure them against my own and settle on a judgement.
And it’s not just me. I’ve posted this study before, but I’ll put it up against, because it’s just so telling.
Results showed that almost all women were aggressive toward the attractive female whose only indiscretion was to dress in a sexually provocative manner. The women in this situation were more likely to roll their eyes at their peer, stare her up and down and show anger while she was in the room. When she left the room, many of them laughed at her, ridiculed her appearance, and/or suggested that she was sexually available. By contrast, when the same attractive peer was dressed conservatively, the group of women assigned to this second scenario barely noticed her, and none of them discussed her when she left the room.
Vaillancourt, T.& Sharma, A. (2011). Intolerance of sexy peers: Intrasexual competition among women. Aggressive Behavior, 37, 569-577. doi: 10.1002/ab.20413
Personally, I have no problem with other women taking me apart visually. Go for it. Three kids and I still have a 26 inch waist, topped with some pretty awesome C-Cups. I weigh the exact same as I did when I met my husband. I don’t mind other women scanning me and rolling their eyes or snarking quietly.
Because I’m still competitive. Check out my ass all you want, ladies. I’ll bet it’s better than yours.
Plenty of women who don’t quite measure up aren’t so confident. They don’t like how they look when they’re working out. They hate being stared at and objectified. They feel intimidated by eyes that are assessing, measuring, calculating, evaluating and ultimately judging them.
At the same time, gyms can be incredibly patriarchal places where women often feel intimidated, harassed, out of place, and unwelcome. Also, the ads for gyms and the primary motivation for many women going to one is focused on (often unattainable) patriarchal standards of beauty.
http://www.balancingjane.com/2013/02/women-in-gyms-working-out-in-safe-spaces.html
What they seem to have forgotten is that it’s OTHER WOMEN who are doing the looking. It’s OTHER WOMEN who will behave aggressively if you’re a bit too sexy. It’s OTHER WOMEN who will notice that you actually look like shit.
Ladies who don’t like being objectified and stared at should probably stick to working out with lots of men present. I’ll go to the women’s only workouts.
And you can bet your ass I’m going to judge you.
Lots of love,
JB
judgybitch 
“topped with some pretty awesome C-Cups”
Three kids and no signs of STS(Saggy Tit Syndrome)?
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Nope.
And that’s after extended breastfeeding, too.
The effects of a good nursing bra?
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Interesting thing about it is, one thing some people seem to be missing is that Lloyd said he’d settle for them setting up a men’s only time, but they won’t do that either. FWIW.
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Or refund part of the men’s memberships.
They said no to that, too.
Based on a small percentage of women who don’t like how they look working out.
But it’s mostly women who check out other women.
Men tend to only look at the fit women.
Sour grapes, maybe?
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I have to wonder what has happened to us? I have an extensive collection of vintage clothing and the women had seriously tiny waists. I wear a current size 2-4 but in vintage size that is a 12! How the heck do these dresses have 36″ busts and only 22″ waists? The ladies of the 50’s must have had amazing waist-to-hip ratios. (The appearance of which was no doubt enhanced by the full skirts and crinolines.) Why are all the cows mooing so loudly, I wonder?
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I wouldn’t know :). Did you read about the recent study which said that breasts get saggier with bra?
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/259073.php
No mention of nursing or pregnant women.
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I did see that!
My back issues of National Geographic tell a different story.
Gravity + time + breasts = yech!
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I remember those issues! They traumatized me as a child…definitely convinced me to wear a bra. Still good after kiddos and feedings, too!
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Well said JB, as usual.
Another thing I’ve noticed with women who let themselves go…they start to try and push the feedings on their husbands to make them undesireable too. “No one likes a skinny Santa! Oh…you don’t need to work our honey. Have a third slice of pie…”
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Peter Lloyd is right. It is sexist.
However, that study is just bullshit. “Sexually, provocative manner” No one should be wearing whore gear to the office. That’s why the other women resented her, it wasnt the place for it. Women would talk about her if she came to the office dressed as a bum! The study is worthless because when the SAME attractive female dressed conservatively, nothing happened. It would make sense to use a less attractive female with the same outfit, and see how the group reacts. Probably the same, because it is about her outfit, not her.
Another study could feature men, white collar, professional men at an important meeting. One guy comes in unshaven, with wrinkled clothes, no tie, white socks and looks like a bum overall. They would make negative comments about him. Or hard working, rugged blue collar men at work. A co worker walks in with a tie, looking well kept and super clean. They would make fun of him, probably to his face.
The study isn’t mind blowing. People judge the way other people dress. Both men and women. I doubt those women found her “threatening” just inappropriate and out of place.
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Even though they are judged more by other women than by men, the unattractive women feel worse in the company of men. It’s because it is constant reminder that they’re unattractive. Men only look at hot women and THAT is the problem for them. Being in a room full of mostly fit males, testosterone all around, and having no attention from any of them is painful.
Almost all the gyms I’ve been to have separate rooms for men and women. You’re not obligated to stay in one or the other, but if you’re a man and you go into the female space you’ll get ugly looks from the fatties. Coincidence or not, the hot girls usually come to exercise in our room.
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Didn’t mean to reply to a comment.
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Childbirth does not mean saggy boobs. In my case they got better. I was smaller before kids and the extra size was pretty much brand new, so no sag. My husband was as pleased as I was with that development.
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I bet girdles were more common back in the day. I’m pretty sure my mom and grandma both wore them. I’ve always been broad waisted- no matter how thin I am. I always wondered if the athletics I did as a kid gave me extra muscle around my waist. I’ve always have very strong abs (still have a four-pack) but it’s not narrow.
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“Also, the ads for gyms and the primary motivation for many women going to one is focused on (often unattainable) patriarchal standards of beauty.”
And the hamster spins, spins, spins…
Clearly, the gym ads targeted at men no not feature men with perfectly sculpted bodies and extremely masculine facial features. But if they did, it would be because of the same patriarchy that is responsible for my burnt toast this morning.
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The patriarchy burnt your toast?
Well that’s the final straw!
The patriarchy is toast!
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“whore gear” … You know who decides that? Fat women. They call fit women “whores” because they can’t wear the same outfit. I can wear a BELOW-the-knee slim skirt and show no cleavage and be talked about by the silly cows. The study is worthless because the clothing wasn’t the same for all sizes, not because of the woman was attractive or not.
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I’m all for women’s only gyms mostly because when I’m at the gym, the ear buds go in and I don’t give a rats ass about who is there. My focus is on the workout. So, as that’s the case I would rather they go to Curves or what ever because inevitably when they are at my gym they spend more time trying to impose their “feelings” on everyone else.
Anecdotal point, a couple months ago I’m doing squats, free weights not smith machine. I’m 200lbs squating 365 that day. I finish my last rep with a semi loud grunt and rack the bar a bit loudly. About 2mins later a female staff member comes over and berates me for “being loud” and tells me she had a complaint from a woman saying my grunt and loud rack made her “feel” uncomfortable.
WTF does that mean anyways.
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Not only did it burn my toast, but it’s responsible for my flat tire on my bike run to work and me catching a cold this weekend. When I look at commercials with healthy, happy people riding really expensive road bikes, I feel sad and very oppressed. I just don’t understand why we aren’t doing *more* to fight against the patriarchy!
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My rule of thumb is, wear what you want (as long as it is something you can’t literally get thrown out of a public place for) and if people look, let them look. If they come up to you and harass you, that’s a different story. Personally I’m not afraid of a little judgment and I wish other women weren’t so much either. It would be nice if we learned to just stopping giving a shit what other people are thinking. 🙂
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She should stay away from professional tennis courts, then.
Serena Williams can put the loudest sow to shame.
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I’ve never complained but I must admit I don’t like it when guys let go of the weights and they crash back onto the rack really loudly. We have one guy at our gym who can’t seem to control his weights and they hit so hard they literally shake the floor. It so startling it makes me jump every time. Maybe it’s a girl thing (it probably is) so a girls-only gym would be good for someone like me in this case.
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This guy wasn’t using free weights though. I can’t imagine the free weights being that loud…
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Ugh, no. That would imply that in shape women are incapable of looking like whores-False. Men call whore gear when they see it too. I doubt they are jealous. They probably like it. But they call it as they see it. Whore gear is whore gear, regardless of fat or skinny.
The “silly cows” probably talk about you because of your shit attitude. And you chalk it up to being in shape? They might not even think you’re good looking. Just grumpy old lady.
At least we agree on one thing, that study is bullshit.
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My theory is, women judge other women when they feel they are possible competition. It makes sense to me that they often use what the woman is wearing as an excuse. They are looking for something negative to say (to convince themselves they are better than their subject), and the way a woman dresses or her weight are popular attacks. When a fairly attractive woman sees a better looking female dressed in a kind of sexy way walk into the office, you can bet that she’s thinking all kind of catty remarks like “Look at that lowcut top, who does she think she is wearing that? What a whore.” When in reality, deep down she wishes she looked like that.
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For me the issue is that if I pay the same dues I should get the same service. I would be upset if my gym cut time out of the week just for women.
Don’t worry girls, I’m not staring at your ass. I’m watching kpop videos while I’m on the treadmill. So I’m staring at someone else’s ass. And when I’m lifting weights, I’m paying attention to the fact that I’m lifting weights. I’m not going to risk dropping 25lb dumbbells on my foot just because you decided to bend over while wearing Lululemon yoga pants.
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I’d hate to be the one to point out your obvious over-generalisation of what “men want”. However, unlike women, men, don’t really want multiple things. The main thing men want is respect.
As for your again, over-generalised view of what men find attractive in women. If men didn’t like ‘fat chicks’, then I would not have been born, as my mother was quite a portly lass. Both of my sisters would never have been married and had children either, as they are also both very portly.
You know what a man finds attractive in a woman? It’s not what you look like. Yes your looks can help you get an edge, however, if you’ve got a nasty snarky attitude, you’ll only ever attract men who quite frankly, will treat you like the shallow shit bag you deserve to be treated like.
It is actually true what they say. Your personality is the most important part. While if you look like Quasimodo, you won’t find it easy to land a man, the same can be said if you look like a playboy bunny. Sure, you’ll find plenty of men who want to fuck you, but those men don’t want to make you a wife.
In saying that though, there are the “freaks” who are incredibly beautiful and do find a man who can get past their snarky bitchy attitude problems and be willing to fuck them, have brats and settle down for the meantime. But eventually, the husband will get sick of the bitchiness and just move on. They may not divorce the woman, but they’ll certainly start to look around for someone who is, well, less of a bitch.
The same can be said for men who only go for the “pretty girls”. Eventually, we all age. Be careful of the man who wants you just for your looks. When those looks fade (and they eventually will), he will start to look for someone far more to his type. The same can be said for women who only want men for their looks.
If you want to cut the crap and play happy housewives, then you have to play the rules of that game. That means that the man you married, if he becomes unemployed, gets cancer and loses half his face, then you will be there for him. The same in return from him to you.
Sometimes I think, JudgyBitch, that you have body image issues. Considering how much you hate fat people. If you really were so happy with the way you look, it wouldn’t bother you so much as to pick on fat chicks. Or maybe, you’re actually a little bit worried that your precious husband might be a closet case chubby chaser.
I also, really hope that you stop breeding now. Because heaven forbid that you have another child and they end up being fat, or have cystic fibrosis, or are even Downs Syndrome, as I suspect that you’ll be just far too shallow about how that might look to be able to show the child some love.
I don’t mind the fact that you’re judgy, that’s the edge you’re going for. I find that thoroughly entertaining at times. However, don’t forget that you’re only a short time at the top and a long time at the bottom. You might be pretty and young now, but eventually you’ll be old, wrinkly, and chances are, parts of your body will start to sag.
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Wow. That’s quite a comment, Richard.
Two points: obviously, I’m engaging in hyperbole to make the point that most objectification of women is actually done by OTHER women.
Second, for all three of my pregnancies, I declined all pre-natal testing because my husband and I both decided that the results of any test would NOT change the outcome: we would be having the baby.
I might have had three children with down’s. Or worse. So be it.
So yes, I’m shallow and vain (not concerned about my husband secretly liking fat women though), but not to the point where I would have rejected/aborted a less than perfect child. All children are perfect. It’s the grown-ups that fuck them up.
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does anyone here work in genetics? if so, could you please make and infect the world with a bullshit allergy? a good size one too, not one that causes itty bitty sneezes.
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yeah they aren’t. I wasn’t dropping it or anything, but racking a 350lb+ squat bar after doing reps isn’t something you just kinda quietly slide into place. It makes a bit of a rattle.
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It’s probably the effects of good genetics. Sag is more determined by genetics than anything else.
And… “No matter what you actually do all day, or what your personal preferences towards reproduction happen to be” hehehe was that for me? Miss No-Child-Is-Passing-Through-My-Loins? 😛
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Oh… I call sluts like I see them, and I’m not fat.
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Meh, pretty women don’t bother me. Now rude women? Yeah. Over-the-top slutty women? Sure. Pretty women? Even pretty women dressed sexy? No.
Rude bothers me because, well obvious reasons. Slutty bothers me because I just feel like our social standards of behavior and class are completely in the toilet now.
I am not saying I’m a 10, because I’m not. But I am confident in who I am, what I look like, my personality, intelligence, blah blah etc. I know if I were “on the market”, I would find someone, and that attracting a man is not a “zero sum game”. As another poster mentioned farther up… men end up happy with all sorts of different women. It’s not only 22 year old supermodels who find love. For that reason, I’ve never felt the need to “assess” whether or not someone is my “competition”, because for Mr. Z they aren’t. He loves me and I bring more to the table than just my looks. And as for other men, whether they like or want me or not… some do, some don’t, and as long as they don’t bother me about it, it’s not a topic I’m that worked up about personally.
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If you had spent any time here you would see JB talks often about being attractive is a combination of looks, demeanor, and attitude. Being hot and a bitch doesn’t get you anything.
While it’s not PC, I would guess if you blind surveyed 100 men a vast majority of those men are going to prefer fit over fat when judging looks in a woman. Same goes the other way. Do you see women swooning over Ryan Gosling or Jake Galifianakis?
Short of a medical condition a child doesn’t just “end up fat”. The child eats what the parents give them, exercises and plays or sits on the couch playing video games at the parents discretion. I find it hard to swallow (pun intended) your criticism of a parent who takes the physical well being of her children as seriously as JB does. This comes from a former “fatty” whose mother thought a well balanced meal came through a drive through window and no meal was complete without a sugary dessert. It took me years and years as an adult to unwind all the poor eating habits I was taught as a child.
From a guy who endured his entire school years fat, you do your child NO favors at allowing them to be over weight. Not social, physical or mental. Kids can be more ruthless and cruel than adults do you kid a favor and don’t set them up for misery.
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While it might be Hyperbole Richard, JB is spot on with her assessment. If you don’t believe me, pick up a magazine by the cashier in a grocery store and thumb through the pages. You know the ones, usually they have either an attractive woman on the cover with captions such as ‘Tight booty workout’, ‘flatten your tummy now in three easy steps’ and ‘fit by summer’. Or they will have unflattering gossip on Hollywood starlets splashed on the front pages.
If you ever pay attention to many of these magazines, you will notice that they will have many issues, which will display uncomplimentary pictures of normally glamorous Hollywood starlets without makeup. Inside, you will literally see competitions, two attractive women side by side wearing similar ensembles with the caption ‘Who wore it best’ underneath. My wife brought home a magazine once which had a picture of Rihanna and Beyonce’, literally zooming in on the backs of their upper legs in order to highlight the possibility that these stars may have cellulite.
JB isn’t joking about this whatsoever, make no mistake about it women do compete in this manner and they do take this competition VERY seriously. If women can’t beat others in terms of appearance, they attack what is left, her character. This is also why these magazines are chock full of unflattering gossip on would be starlets and their families.
Two stories for you; at my part time job I happened to notice an attractive patron walk into the bar. One of our bartenders, LS, is a very attractive part time model in addition to being bisexual. We normally compare attractive patrons and I asked her about this particular one. Her reply was surprising; this patron actively ignored LS, going out of her way to be as bitchy as possible to her every chance she got. LS was shocked as she had no idea why this woman was acting like this until I gave her my version of what JB had posted here.
Second story; (which happened just after I had read this post today I sh!t you not) while working in our storage area with a young female co-worker, management had decided to give a facility tour to a very attractive and young brunette. The reaction from my young co-worker was textbook; she immediately got her back up and asked another manager who this woman was and why she was even there.
No, I’m not a woman, nor a loser guy. I’m just a happily married man who happens to like observing the world and watching the differences between the genders. While you state that JB’s post is an over-generalization, I will then ask you to Google pro athletes, or elite businessmen and their wives. Are looks everything, no not really. However, does anyone really need to state that an attractive woman will most likely get more attention from men than a less attractive one?
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Wow. I’m not sure if I find your comment really shitty and unattractive behavior in itself (this attitude won’t help a man with the ladies) or if I’m a bit amused that you judged the judgy bitch.
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I really have no idea where this “tests” are getting their shit from. Doesnt anyone watch African tribes women on Nat Geo or Discovery???
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The study about women acting catty to more attractive women is so true, and anyone who doubts it hasn’t worked in my former workplace. There were several unattractive secretaries, middle-aged but not old enough to be grandmothers. There was also a young woman who came in on a regular basis to help set up events. She wasn’t particularly pretty but dressed to play up her body–not showing skin but wearing tight pants and heels–and if they so much as saw her talk to a man, they spread rumors about her (she had a boyfriend, but that was seemingly irrelevant).
The only ones who weren’t mean? The pretty mom and the proud grandma of baby twins. Oh, and the men.
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Speaking of women in the workplace. I read something recently (maybe you linked to it here- I can’t recall) and it was about a study that basically said that women in the workplace do *not* help each other despite the expectation from younger women that they might find a mentor in the older successful women who have already made it up the ladder. It’s called “the queen bee syndrome.” Women generally treat other women as a threat. And that seems to be the universal experience. I’ve been through it myself and I bet most other women here would say the same thing. There’s even a wikipedia page on it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Queen_bee_syndrome
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‘we’ve lost sight of the fact that we’re all in this together?’
Whats interesting, is that on one level all women ally together, but on another they are utterly cut throat when they decide they want a certain guy.
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Agreed.
A skank is a skank.
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I couldn’t help but notice that Kari Byron of Mythbusters started sporting the power-tits after she gave birth. hmmm….
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My gym is like that too, although they’re sides of the same room, and they’re not labelled. See, one is the machines, and one is the free weights.
I suspect the hot women in the free weights goes the other way in cause.
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I think the difference between someone grunting and dropping an olympic weight upon finishing the set is audibly different from the guy screaming with every twitch and dropping machine-weights.
I find the screamers unpleasant, but you have to really not know what you’re doing to mix them up with the grunters.
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hehehe I heart you!
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