I love reading advice columns, and Dear Prudence is one of my favorites. Jesus, that bitch is clueless. Her advice usually consists of “go to therapy”, and she appears not to realize that most “therapists” are retards who took psych degrees and can’t find any other job.
She’s always good for a laugh, though, and her response to this writer is one of the best I’ve had in a long time:
Q. Married but Financially Separate: My husband and I have been married for five years and have totally separate finances—bank accounts, credit cards, nothing is shared. He makes significantly more money than I do and pays all of the bills with the exception of the mortgage, which I pay. He “gives” me money weekly for groceries and incidentals. Regardless, I am pretty much broke all of the time. We don’t have a joint credit card or bank account and I get really resentful when he spends lots of money on something and I am relegated to the local discount store, a place he wouldn’t consider gracing. He refuses to join our finances or have a joint credit card. This isn’t a partnership. As he would say, what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is yours. Is he on a power trip or paranoid? I know I blew it by not discussing how we would handle our money before getting married but I didn’t and now this is a serious issue for me.
Let’s take this apart, shall we?
My husband and I have been married for five years and have totally separate finances—bank accounts, credit cards, nothing is shared.
Hmm. I wonder why? Anyone get the feeling that something is being left out here? Totally separate finances for five years feels like some sort of reaction, no? I wonder what cupcake would like to DO with that joint bank account and what she intends to purchase with the shared credit card?
Oh, let’s just start with the assumption that MEN SUCK and this guy is no different. He’s a big mean asshole who won’t foot wifey’s bills.
In which case, why did you marry him?
I’m seeing some excellent judgement from cupcake right off the bat.
He makes significantly more money than I do and pays all of the bills with the exception of the mortgage, which I pay.
Oh boo hoo. Does he have some actual, real, marketable skills that translate into an income and you don’t? Let me guess. Women’s studies major? Psychology? Art history?
And he pays all the bills! What a jerk! YOU have to pay the mortgage? Well, that’s bullshit. Why should you have to pay any bills at all?
I wonder how much the “bills” amount to after the mortgage is paid?
According to this graph, based on Department of Labor statistics, the average couple spends about $10 000/year on housing. Out of an annual expenditures budget of just under $50 000. So cupcake, who has to pay the mortgage, is likely spending about $10 000 per year, leaving her husband, who pays all the other bills, on the hook for $40 000 a year.
That’s so mean! He pays, on average, FOUR TIMES MORE for all the bills, and this bitch is whining?
He “gives” me money weekly for groceries and incidentals. Regardless, I am pretty much broke all of the time.
So basically, she doesn’t earn very much money, has to pay a quarter of their expenses, he gives her money ON TOP of that, and she’s still broke most of the time.
Sounds like a really responsible sort of person, no? Gosh, this is a perplexing situation indeed. Why on earth doesn’t he want to give her access to his bank account?
We don’t have a joint credit card or bank account and I get really resentful when he spends lots of money on something and I am relegated to the local discount store, a place he wouldn’t consider gracing.
Awww. You get wesentful? You don’t wike him spending money on himself? You have to go to the discount store?
Hey, I have an idea! Get a better job! Or a second job. Or, you know, shut the fuck up.
He refuses to join our finances or have a joint credit card. This isn’t a partnership. As he would say, what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is yours. Is he on a power trip or paranoid?
Let’s see. By your own admission, you are resentful of your husband, you don’t earn much money, you can’t manage the little money you DO earn PLUS what he gives you on top of that and you are broke most of the time.
Hmm. Is he on a power trip or paranoid? I’m not sure how you are defining those terms, but if you mean “is he responding rationally and prudently to an immature sulky little bitch of a wife who can’t even manage her allowance”, then yes to both!
I know I blew it by not discussing how we would handle our money before getting married but I didn’t and now this is a serious issue for me.
You know what, sweetpea? I’m thinking he’s having the exact same thoughts. He blew it by marrying you, and he doesn’t intend to blow it any further by giving you carte blanche access to the family resources.
So what is Prudie’s advice?
MAKE HIM PAY FOR MARRIAGE COUNSELING!
And if that doesn’t work, get a divorce.
A: Since you don’t mention other more pleasant aspects of life that you do share, I’m wondering if there is any part of your union that does feel like a partnership. (I hope your weekly stipend isn’t for services rendered.) If not, what are you doing in it? There is something you two need to do together and for which your husband should pay: marriage counseling. Tell him that you thought you married the handsome prince, but you feel like Cinderella before the ball. Explain that you have become so resentful of your disparate financial conditions that your marriage is at stake. Do keep in mind that since you are chronically broke, if you two do split, you’re going to have to learn to live within your own means.
At least Prudie has the good sense to remind Cupcake that she will be paying all her own bills should she decide to go that route. Well, depending on whether or she can secure alimony payments, that is.
http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/financialissues/a/The-Great-Alimony-Myth.htm
Odds are pretty good she’ll get a few years worth of access to that bank account, which just might be enough time to line up the proper Prince Charming who will grasp that she is not Cinderella BEFORE the ball, she is Cinderella AFTER the ball.
Having read this column, I am now even more grateful that I have a husband who shares not just his life with me, but his money, too.
True story: Once NurseRatchet was over for a visit and Mr. JB came home and took my wallet out of my purse, looked over all the receipts, took them, counted the cash I had and then put my wallet back in my purse.
After he left, Ratchet threw a fit! How dare he? He checks your purchases? Just goes in your purse whenever he wants? Counts your money? Do you have to grovel for that money? Do you have no privacy at all?
Ratchet is kind of a bitch. I don’t really see her anymore, but that’s another story. The point here is how she assumed that our finances were something deeply personal and separate. They’re not. Mr. JB checks my wallet pretty much every day because he files all the receipts in the event that I need to exchange or return something. If it was up to me, I would never find a receipt ever. I can barely find my keys, never mind a receipt for the hairdryer I bought six weeks ago. He also likes me to have a certain amount of cash in my wallet, in case I want coffee or need to buy some small thing. I never check to see if I have money before I go somewhere, because I KNOW that I do.
I have access to our bank account, but I never touch it. If I’m not going to bother learning how our budget works (and I’m not), then I figure I have no business messing with it. I use my Visa or the cash in my wallet for whatever I want or need to buy. Anything bigger than $40, I run by Mr. JB first. I’m not asking for permission, I’m asking if that purchase will mess with his budget. It works very well for us, because I’m not a big shopper and I don’t spend a lot of money (except for the bookstore – I can be pretty deadly in the bookstore).
And once I go back to work, none of this will change. I will have whatever money I earn deposited into our joint account, which I will then proceed to ignore completely and I’ll keep using my Visa and trusting that my wallet is filled with cash.
http://judgybitch.com/2013/02/16/schrodingers-slut-or-why-it-matters-what-you-wear/
It works because I’m actually a grown-up with some concept of how money and budgets work. We never carry credit card debt and I would consider it a huge personal failure to ever blow our family budget to the point that was necessary. It’s just not going to happen.
What happens when you marry someone like cupcake who can’t manage her allowance and is perpetually broke?
You keep your accounts separate. Seems pretty reasonable to me. If cupcake wants to be Cinderella AFTER the ball, she can get her ass out of that pumpkin and go earn some money. Prince Charming is hardly likely to foot the bill for some resentful little bitch who thinks the solution to her problems is the Prince’s cash and a joint credit card.
You know, I just realized something. I never put my wallet in the same place twice. Right now I have no idea where it is. That means Mr.JB has to go hunting for it every day to make sure I have money.
That must be really fucking annoying.
I’ll have to work on that.
Baby steps!
Lots of love,
JB
judgybitch 
Yes, my husband does the same thing! He drops a $100 bill into my purse at least once a week to make sure I have cash on hand, even though we both have debit cards to our joint bank account. I work full time as he does, but he knows I take home less being my business overhead is double what his is…so he compensates by making sure I can have whatever I want…those $100 bills just keep piling up in my purse…so I am going to buy him a nice gift with them…I have my eye on a big antique artillery cannon on Ebay that would look nice outside, giving the landscaping a nice touch of masculinity.
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I love this. My husband and I are the same way. We both have full time jobs (plus the money I make from my school stipend) and I don’t even know how much money I make most of the time. He is a wizard with the budget, makes money appear out of nowhere, whereas my tiny woman brain can’t handle the responsibility (I kid, but for reals, budgeting stresses the hell out of me.)
I’ve had friends who don’t understand. “But you make more money than he does! YOU should be in charge of your money!” My response is there is no such thing as “my” money. It’s OUR money. Every dime we both make goes to the family, and it’s joint funds.
I do the same thing in asking him if I can spend money, and I’ve also had friends (mostly my guy friends, which is funny) state that they can’t believe I have to ask for permission to buy lunch. mostly he shouldn’t control you like that, I would never do that to my girlfriend (sometimes I think those guys are trying to best friend my pants off) But you’re right, I’m not asking for permission, I’m asking if it fucks with the budget.
Having him take out cash to give me to spend so I don’t use the card is an amazing idea, I think I’m going to float that by him.
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Unless the wife truly understands budgets, it’s every man’s responsibility to be a bastard about money so that she doesn’t start making spending decisions based on her emotions, and then have to live like a pauper spending off useless retail-therapy debt while trying to clean around piles of useless shit that satisfied some emotional need of the moment.
There are DEFINITELY women who get budgeting. But in my expereince they’re rare.
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Ohh, this is a good one! Something I think about often. Who is going to handle the finances in my future marriage?
Now unless my husband has an accounting degree or is a Certified Public Accountant, chances are I am going to be equally if not more financially adept than he is. And that’s okay. I am excellent at financial forecasting and follow-through and I LOVE doing it! Love, love, LOVE!
Future hubbie and I are going to have joint finances. We will create a budget together and understand that we are both grown adults who are capable of being trusted and responsible. He’s not going to have to check with me on purchases over $40 and I’m not going to do the same. That’s sweating small stuff.
It all depends on who is better with money. That person should run the finances. If he’s the type not to mess with budgets or taxes, then I’ll handle it. I can’t shovel snow for shit, so future hubbie’s gonna do it. Grab that shovel baby! Its all about assessing your strengths and weaknesses and utilizing them in a way that is most beneficial to the marriage.
“Let her make all the little decisions and let him make the big ones” Ive heard that several times, and I don’t necessarily disagree, except when it comes to money. And money is a pretty big decision.
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What works for us is a monthly allowance. I do keep my own bank account (though my husband’s name is on it as well) and he gives me a monthly check to buy groceries, gas, household items etc., and it’s the best system ever. It has also been very handy to have because my husband doesn’t like having all of our money in one place. When we save up for household projects he gives me the extra cash to put in my account.
The key to any system is trust. My husband knows I’m not going to blow the budget or start buying stuff with the credit cards and I know he can be trusted to pay the bills. My big question in reading the article is why doesn’t that man trust his wife with their money?
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Meh.
I have an MBA and I am perfectly capable of creating a budget and administering it.
I just don’t care to.
Partly because I find that shit boring, and partly because holding the reins financially is a huge part of what makes men feel like men.
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Yep. My question exactly.
He’s either a giant dick, or there is some REASON for the lack of trust.
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I have some advice for the husband: get a divorce NOW. The more you stay in this fucked-up relationship you call a marriage the more you have to pay when it will end. Leave now before the kids come.
I would never trust anyone to run my finances. Not even my wife (te iubesc, scumpo – she also reads this blog). I cannot put into words why, though.
Anyway, the real reason for my comment is to link to this old article:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1316403/Why-smart-women-bad-money.html
One of the best things I ever read on this subject. I spoke to a friend of making a contest about it: how many idiotic things you can find in 60 seconds.
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Dear god. I don’t know that I’ve ever read so much whining in one place. Waaah, I’m in debt, the banks must be sexist and its only because I’m sooo nice. No, its because you’re a fucking moron who doesnt understand how money works.
Speaking as someone in debt (not as severe as that woman, but still), if you’re in debt, you know who’s to blame? YOU, you stupid twit.
Gah, these people, **has anurism*** (I know thats not how you spell that, but you get the idea.)
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Good home economics used to be something that women used to measure themselves by. Good thing that form of slavery was shed, amirite cupcakes? No need for worldly responsibility to get in the way of your fun life of cash and prizes!
It’s hard for me to entirely blame the cupcakes for their desire for wealth. Everywhere I turn, daughters are being doted on so much they come to just expect that people will buy them stuff or give them money to buy themselves stuff. I grew up in a family of 4 boys and 1 girl. We lived near our grandparents who had a decently posh retirement funding source. We used to go to church every week as a family. They purchased exactly 1 suit for each of us boys, we were expected to hand them down as we grew up. My sister, on the other hand, was given a new dress once a month it seemed. All manner of absurd handwaving was used to justify this behavior, even when I (second eldest son) confronted my parents on this inequity.
I really don’t understand what happens to parents and grandparents self-awareness when they have kids, they seem to literally go blind to the inequities in their own house.
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My wife and I are nearing the ten year mark, and we’ve had seperate accounts since day one. It works for us. We like it in no small part because we both have good jobs, live within our means and work well together to equitably share expenses.
But it started out that way for two reasons :
1. My wife used to have the uncanny ability to make money vanish while my accounts seem to create money out of thin air
2. My wife comes from divorced parents and she watched her mom struggle with no credit history no bank accounts and no savings after the split because everything was in her dad’s name.
We’ve since solved item one because she realized she had a problem and she’s tighter with money than I am now.
She knows item 2 won’t be a problem unless I die, but the fact is our system works so we haven’t screwed with it.
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Indeed, Dear Prudence is usually comedy gold and a schadenfreude fest. But can we discuss the main topic under the Slate link you posted “my daughter lied about being a stripper for years.” Strippers are a much more fun topic than gold-diggers.
Actually, it sounds like she would be doing him a favor by divorcing him. He’s not on a power-trip and it’s not being paranoid if they’re really after you. Prudence is an idiot.
My ex and I always had separate accounts (checking and savings) and separate credit cards. But we also had a joint account (checking and savings) and a single joint credit card (emergencies only) to which we both contributed (ah the miracle of splitting direct deposit). We used this more as a slush fund than for monthly expenses. She paid some bills, I paid the other half. I know our arrangement seemed odd to a lot of people, but that’s irrelevant. I worked for us.
The slush fund paid for the car and for vacations, weekend ski trips, etc. I actually had more going in to this than she did, especially after the car note was paid off, so I got the bulk of the cash when we divorced. She got custody of the car, but I still have visitation rights.
I will never trust a woman who cannot manage money or holds credit card debt; it’s a sign of poor character.
Can we discuss the lying stripper now? Please?
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I was planning on taking a look at the stripper issue tomorrow.
Catching up on a little stripper history at the moment….
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I’m 33. My house is paid for. I have about 150,000 in retirement savings accounts, and I add to that about 400 bucks a month, and more once the 401k at my new job kicks in. I owe about 25k on cars that are worth twice that, no credit card debt.
I say all of this because I still lay awake some nights worrying that I’m not saving enough.
When I read things like this it blows my mind that people can live like this.
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Wow, that’s quite the article. Thousands of words blaming everyone but herself for the massive amount of debt she is in. It’s the feminist dream. All the perks, none of the responsibility. Yes, the banks must be sexist because at 200,000lbs ($310,00 USD) in unsecured debt and they won’t give bump your 10,000lb overdraft by another 5,000. No, it’s because you have a horrible credit rating.
I’m probably the last person to defend banks, but this woman is the poster child for pending bankruptcy.
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That being said I’m absolutely shocked that prudence just gave this woman the advice to divorce your man if he doesn’t give her more money. I thought feminism was all about womans Independence from a mans checking accoumt
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Oh, the horrors! She has to shop at the local discount store, instead of hitting Macy’s and Nordstrom’s! I wonder if she sets foot in dollar stores, or if that is too much for her delicate snowflake sensibilities?
This guy hasn’t filed for divorce yet?
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I have complete control of the finances and give her $200 a month cash. She’s amazed at how fast the bank account is going up and can’t figure out how I did it.
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And who doesn’t like a little stripper history…?
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What no one has said is that women’s financial illiteracy is largely a deliberate invention of the ruling class. Home economics and civics were largely taken out of schools right around the time consumer culture really became in-your-face. Up until the 1980s, it was considered crass to embrace the values of materialism, but by the mid-’80s things had changed.
And then things got even worse. A lot of women are status-driven and assume if something costs a lot it must be worth a lot. Not true — and it goes against the “do it yourself” philosophy of the old days. I recently mentioned to a female friend of mine I’d become more interested in investing. She replied she’d like to invest but couldn’t afford what her broker charges.
I would have liked to have told her you can learn how to invest by reading books, blogs, and Web sites and going to a seminar or two (all of which I did). I would like to have told her that simple discussions with people who have made money can be enlightening and helped me a lot. And I really would like to have explained that brokers are a waste of money because they earn commission, so they have no real incentive to help you make money. If you win they win but if you lose they still win (to quote “Raging Bull”).
But I couldn’t say any of those things because 1). Having to pay a broker connotes status and that’s what she’s into and 2). It all would have fallen under the banner of the dreaded “mansplaining” — apparently now a social crime on the level of assault. Between consumerism and feminist memes that make it impossible for men to explain anything to women, American women have painted themselves into a corner of indebtedness and ignorance. Just the way the masters want it.
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“Gosh, this is a perplexing situation indeed. Why on earth doesn’t he want to give her access to his bank account?”
LMAO!! I think it’s wise to ask before spending over a certain amount. It’s just showing basic respect and love. Concept lost on a lot of people, but yeah. I think it’s really sweet that he files and checks on everything and keeps tabs.
This is a diff situation but if I’m out longer than it seems like I should be… i.e. I say, “I’m going to run and pay this bill and stop by the grocery store for xyz”, and my being gone takes longer than what seems reasonable for that, Mr. Z will text me to make sure I’m okay.
Some people think this is somehow “oppressive” or “controlling”. I’m not sure how basic concern for the well-being of the person you love is “controlling”, but whatever. I love and appreciate that he does that. Lets me know he cares. Your thing about the receipts and the purse feels like the same “caring for” type of behavior that a lot of women now get bizarrely defensive and self-protective about.
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I look at stripper issues frequently but probably not from the same perspective.
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This is our situation almost exactly. Mr. Z was a smart man not to do a joint account in the beginning because I was young, and not good with money and had a LOT of growing up to do. He basically didn’t allow me into his money because he was protecting us and keeping a roof over our head.
We no longer have that problem (I worked on that issue a lot) and I make good money now, but… we have come to continue to like it this way. We figure a lot of couples fight over money and not mixing our money has kept arguments on that front almost nonexistent so, why screw with a good thing now? We both check in with each other about where we are, and we definitely consult on big purchases, but overall, this works for us. Doesn’t work for everybody, and that’s fine, too.
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My husband has an uncanny ability to text me when I’m half a block away from home. He knows when I should be back from wherever it is I’ve gone and it’s like an alert goes off in his brain if I’m a bit longer than I should be.
I get the “are you OK” text a lot too.
I find it very sweet.
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Gubbe doesn’t check that I’m ok unless I’m really late, cause I’m on the bus most of the time, but when he used to start work really early before i woke up, he’d text me “good morning” right around when I usually wake up. It’s the sweetest thing.
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I was the only girl and the youngest of 4– and I wore hand-me-downs from my brothers! I guess it was a good thing because I learned the value of a dollar early on.
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That’s rare in my experience. I don’t think my sister had a stitch of clothing from the boys that she didn’t take without asking. Yes, she also has a habit of acting like whats yours is hers… sigh.
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Such a different experience in my household. My brothers used to fight over clothes (fistfights) because the youngest brother would take clothes out of the older one’s closet.
I wore hand-me-downs when I was too young to be bothered by it- which was a long time because I was pretty tomboyish. I think my mom would have preferred that I refused so she would have had an excuse to buy me dresses. I can remember being in 7th grade and still wearing my brother’s jeans. But before too long I lost my boyish hips and had to move on to straight-up girl clothes. 🙂
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My husband and I don’t keep tabs on each other but we definitely get concerned if we can’t find the other one. I love text messaging because my husband can usually send me a quick text when he’s out and about so I know he arrived safely– and vice versa.
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Do you have an unmarried younger sister above the age of majority who feels exactly the opposite of the way that you do about money and shoveling snow?
If so,tell her to hit me up.
” He “gives” me money weekly for groceries and incidentals. Regardless, I am pretty much broke all of the time. ”
I have no sympathy at all for this woman. If you give a man 25 bucks and that’s all he’s got, he’ll turn that 25 bucks into 50 or 100 in a few days. If someone just gives you money all the time and you’re still broke, you’re retarded.
Women always complain about stuff that blows my mind.As a man, I have never had the option of receiving regular payments of money from my spouse. It doesn’t happen, and I’ve never expected it to.
If that WERE to happen, even if I only got ten bucks a week or every couple of days, I’d thank my lucky stars that I even got that much,and I’d have saved and traded my way up to 100 to 150 from 10,instead of considering a divorce because I didn’t get even more money for free.
Feminists are always pretending that men are the ones who are “entitled”,but the amount of entitlement it takes to bitch that a person who gives you money for nothing isn’t giving you ENOUGH money is like a total mindfuck to me. I can’t imagine any sane man I know doing that.
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This man should run, not walk…and not look back. He isn’t in a good situation with this woman.
My husband and I were very young when we got married, so we had very little to start and have always held joint accounts only. We used to have to save up for a month to buy a CD. And that’s exactly what we did. Didn’t make purchases we couldn’t pay for by the end of the month. Always lived within our means. Never had any debts other than our home mortgage. I do the finances, investments, taxes, bills, budgeting. I’ve had to…he deployed too often for any other system, and I’m much more frugal and enjoy it.
BTW, JB…why is this filed under military spending?
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKfOmGraHuQ and that.
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HA! One night I was popping by the video store (unscheduled stop) to grab a DVD to watch at my mom’s house. I told her I needed to run by the house first so Mr. Z would know where I was and wouldn’t worry. Five minutes later… there’s my text message. LOL.
I find it very sweet, too.
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That IS sweet! 🙂
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I swear my Mother is the queen of thrift. She basically made sure the money made by my Old Man went as far as possible. Growing up I had the choice of one breakfast cereal all year round (Weet-bix are nasty, especially when you have to put hot water with them in winter so it’s not so cold). Home brand everything. I would look on to other kids my age and wonder why they had nicer things. I only realised much later that they were hitting their mortgage like crazy.
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When my husband first entered the service, there was a financial planning agency that would prey on new military members. The name was USPA & IRA. Invited military members to a dinner where they explained the ‘rule of 7’ et al (for those who didn’t know it). It was a front loaded fund, which offered the “advantage” of dollar cost averaging periodic investments after an initial charge of 50 PERCENT on the first ANNUAL payment. So, for instance, an investment of 5000 for the year would incur a fee of 2500. Any adjustments to the payments (for example raising that 5000 a year to 10000) would incur another 50 percent fee. I’ve never heard of a worse deal for investors before or since. But you wouldn’t believe how many people fell for this. They had thousands of members. It was a serious racket. I tried to talk people out of it, usually they signed on anyway (and withdrew a few years later with far less money than they’d put in). Isn’t just women who have to learn about finance, everyone should have a working knowledge of this.
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Ok, so being new to the ‘sphere, I’m not sure what blog is best to suggest a nice, sarcastic reply to this:
http://thehill.com/blogs/floor-action/house/296679-%20dems-warn-climate-change-could-drive-women-to-transactional-sex
My brain nearly exploded this morning reading that.
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Because men don’t require food? Men can’t starve? What the fuck? How could food shortages harm women more than men?
That is just….jesus fucking christ.
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The true vision of insanity only comes when you realize that human-induced global warming is likely impossible to quantify, and completely overridden by natural forces whenever nature wants. We’re still ants on a water ball.
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“gender-specific frameworks in developing policies to address climate change.”
That sounds like something out of the Onion.
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And that’s the military! No shame. It’s great you were hip to their game; people I know buy into this stuff because they think they’re getting (get ready for this) “Quality Advice.”
Here’s a link to a blog that was published yesterday about how they fleece you out of 401K money. This is also a really interesting blog. The mainstream media doesn’t report on this stuff until it’s too late (i.e. the housing market after it collapsed):
http://wallstreetonparade.com/2013/04/now-that-you-know-wall-street-can-eat-up-two-thirds-of-your-401k-with-fees-you-should-also-know-it-formed-a-coalition-to-block-full-disclosure-of-that-fact/
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True story.
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Holy crap! My husband is a financial advisor and his fees are sometimes in the 1% range. 50% is highway robbery.
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I was going to link to that too. The mind boggles.
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Which is a point that is only reinforced when you see idiots like Barbara Lee try to use it for political gain.
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Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t denying money to your spouse when she ‘needs’ it classified as Domestic Violence. It is in Australia.
She could argue he was living the high life while she was forced to eat substandard food to get by and he’d be locked up.
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That’s a great site! Thanks for the link.
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Definitely highway robbery! I think the advisers must have rationalized it to themselves that they were doing military members a favor, assuming they’d never have done so without their guidance.
Ironically, some of the victims I’ve known have said the same thing, “I have to thank them for getting me to start investing, even though it was a really bad deal”. Which is a bit like thanking the highwayman because he got you to start taking your personal safety seriously.
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I saw this article as well and my first thought was “She’s complaining about separate finances and is married? I think the problem is a lot deeper than that.” How can you possibly moan about paying for the mortgage with separate finances for so long?
JB, if you thought this was bad you should read the one about the Churchian girl who married a virgin husband and then bitched about his lack of “skill” in the bedroom. Then she has the audacity to mention she never once told her husband she wasn’t a virgin because HE NEVER ASKED.
Lack thereofPrudence sure gets some gems.LikeLike
Because patriarchy! Men will take all the dwindling resources, and only feed the women who sleep with them. And the few men who might starve, become refugees or have to work harder to survive are dealing with the results of their own poor choices or bad luck. The women who suffer are being deliberately oppressed by men. Obviously. That’s how equality works!
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Wow, that’s impressive. What is your occupation, if I may ask? Are you married with a dual income? I ask this because I want to get where you are before I am 40 (I’m 31 now). I too have no CC debt, but little in savings right now due to a condo purchase (20% down) and paying college tuition as I go (no more loans for me!). Once I get my MA and a better-paying job, I know this will increase, but I like to know other people’s strategies. Thanks.
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I’m a housewife. My husband regularly checks my wallet to make sure I have money, and if I don’t will give me his last dollar. Being in the military, he’s gone for a while and doesn’t want me broke and needing something like food or diapers for the baby. That has never bothered me; and he has shocked my family by entrusting me with large amounts of money before we even married. He learned then that, unlike his ex who sounds like cupcake, I don’t spend a lot of money. He trusts me, and if I buy anything besides food, I usually talk to him about it. Not because he demands I do, but so I can make sure all our bills are paid and since it’s usually for our daughter, because he has the right to put his two cents in. I rarely buy stuff for myself, but I grew up poor so I don’t mind.
Cupcake could really learn a few things. Sounds to me like she is trying to find herself a sugar daddy to rob blind.
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Holy shit this was funny. I’m not sure what I typed to get this, but I’m glad I did. My wife is terrible with money, so we have separate accounts, no problem really. The comment about looking for the wallet was perfect. My wife moves the toothpaste and the dog bowls around a lot, and I lose my fucking mind. It’s like every day is a scavenger hunt. I think it’s sometimes in good fun for her.
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