Ladies, stop being so mean to sluts. Sluts make excellent friends! Said no woman ever, including other sluts.

2 Jun

Poor, sad, lonely little sluts of the world – what are we going to do with them? All their hard work, banging random men they meet in bars, and what does it get them? Well, other than outstanding blowjob techniques, I mean. The rewards of vagina slinging are denied to the slutty ladies who have racked up 20 partners (or more!), and this is clearly a problem.


Zhana Vrangalova, a graduate student in the field of human development in the College of Human Ecology at Cornell University (hope she’s looking forward to a long career at Starbucks) asked a bunch of women if they thought they might like to be friends with a real, bona fide, the password to my pussy is PASSWORD, sluts.

Eh, no. Even other sluts don’t like sluts.


Gosh! I wonder why?

“Sexually permissive women are ostracized for being ‘easy,’ whereas men with a high number of sexual partners are viewed with a sense of accomplishment,” Vrangalova said. “What surprised us in this study is how unaccepting promiscuous women were of other promiscuous women when it came to friendships – these are the very people one would think they could turn to for support.”

She added that prior research shows that men often view promiscuous women as unsuitable for long-term romantic relationships, leaving these women outside of many social circles. “The effect is that these women are really isolated,” Vrangalova said.

Oh dear. Well this is terrible news. Nobody likes a slut. Not even other sluts. Of course, Jezebel has to jump on the bandwagon, defending sluts from all the big meanies who think sluts are disgusting, disease ridden scourges on the sexual landscape.

And true to form, they get the details of the actual study dead wrong.


Nine out of ten women surveyed listed promiscuity as a negative trait in another woman, while men were more lax about this attribute in the female profile.

Nope. Men didn’t read the women’s profiles. Only same-sex friendships were explored. #sorrysluts

Men with a higher number of sex partners favored men who had less experience, but specified that it was due to evolutionary mate-guarding.

Nope. Men with a high number of sexual partners did NOT prefer less experienced men in eight out of ten tested attributes. Men preferred less experienced men as friends on TWO attributes: mate guarding and dislike of sexuality.

Possibly because less sexually experienced friends are less likely to make a play for your girlfriend? “Mate-guarding”. Such a confusing term. So difficult to make out what that might mean. Science is hard!


Jezebel doesn’t even get the sample size correct. 751, not 721. Come on now, Barbie. You just had to READ the number. It’s not like you had to count to 751 all by yourself.

Why do I read this shit?

Here is what I find interesting about the research: it refers to prior research that indicates men do not consider sexually promiscuous women suitable long term romantic partners. And again, this is what irritates the crap out of me about writers like the Jezebel ladies or Amanda Marcotte, who will cheer loud and hard for slutty sluts slutting it up, and ignore the fact that there are consequences for women’s behaviour.

Consequences most women will not like.

I honestly have no problem with sluts. If fucking a boatload of random men is your idea of fun, have at it. It’s your life, you do as you please. What I HATE is when women who really are not the least bit slutty listen to all the lies (coming from other women) about how empowering and liberating treating your sexuality like a commodity can be.


And it’s mostly young women who believe it. They listen to their older sisters and older women in the media and then act contrary to their instincts because they do not understand THEY ARE BEING LIED TO. And none of the big-mouthed ladies will mention that, oh, yeah, along with feeling like a total piece of garbage after sex with a man whose name you barely remember, you will be socially ostracized and considered an inappropriate romantic partner.

Go ahead and wear your slutty school uniforms, little ladies. You should do whatever the hell you want, at all times, and damn the consequences!


It’s funny that Amanda uses the words “self-respect” because that is exactly what encouraging slutty behaviour in young women does NOT do. In order to respect yourself, you have to know yourself, and then go ahead and behave in a way that respects what you know. If you honestly, genuinely are capable of completely separating sex and emotion, and it’s just straight up physical pleasure for you and nothing more, then go ahead and hump away.

Biologically, that is simply not true for most women. The simple act of hugging a man causes a spike in oxytocin levels, the hormones that promote bonding. Guess what else? Oxytocin has the EXACT SAME EFFECT ON MEN. Indeed, men produce greater amounts of the love hormone than women in response to sexual activities.

It has been assumed that women have higher levels of oxytocin than men do. While the hormone estrogen does indeed make women more susceptible to increased oxytocin, studies show that men produce greater amounts of the hormone during intimate activities such as hugging, kissing and intercourse.


So Slut Culture doesn’t just lie to and about women; it lies to and about men, as well.

Sex connects humans to one another emotionally. That is a simple biological reality. Sluts violate reality by denying the emotional connection between sexual partners. This hurts women deeply, and most of them will come to regret their sluttiness.

Sluts also hurt men by acting as if men have no emotional investment in sex. Men learn to shut down their emotional connection with promiscuous women, and the effect lasts a long, long time, something sluts don’t seem to understand.


In the words of Dr. Dre, you can’t make a ho a housewife.

Now this this is one of them occasions

where the homies not doin it right

I mean he found him a hoe that he like

But you can’t make a hoe a housewife

And when it all boils down you gonna find in the end

a bitch is a bitch, but a Dogg is a man’s best friend

So what you found you a hoe that you like

But you can’t make a hoe a housewife (wife)

So why should sluts in particular dislike other sluts? Because it’s like looking in a mirror. A promiscuous woman knows that she is untrustworthy, and she knows that she is not respecting herself. When she sees another promiscuous women, she understands that such a woman will make a terrible friend.


It’s not about competition. It’s about self-reflection. Sluts don’t like what they see in the mirror.

And neither does anybody else.

Sluts: ashamed of themselves. As they should be.

Lots of love,


51 Responses to “Ladies, stop being so mean to sluts. Sluts make excellent friends! Said no woman ever, including other sluts.”

  1. reyeko June 2, 2013 at 18:13 #

    “Sexually permissive women are ostracized for being ‘easy,’ whereas men with a high number of sexual partners are viewed with a sense of accomplishment” – did the study actually find this or did they just pull it out of their ass like usual? I’ve heard this so many times it’s absurd but after the age of about 16 I never saw anyone idolizing the guys who slept with a lot of girls(before that age it seems like guys do this because they’re at the age where they’re developing their identity and you have the message from media and feminists that guys who sleep around are considered awesome), when in actuality when those guys weren’t around they usually got made fun of and what’s the word again…? ostracized.


  2. judgybitch June 2, 2013 at 18:14 #

    From what I could tell, that was a value judgement assigned by the researchers.


  3. Exfernal June 2, 2013 at 20:02 #

    Read the abstract for yourself. Perhaps one of your acquaintances has a subscription to this journal, so you could evaluate the methodology in detail and criticize it more constructively than accusing of “pull[ing] it out of their ass like usual”. Have any other examples of such “pulling”? It seems it struck a nerve here…


  4. Shamey Wamey June 2, 2013 at 20:14 #

    This is still antecdotal, but try to find a blog that promotes women sleeping with lots of men.
    Even Susan Walsh’s “Hooking Up Smart” doesn’t say “sleep with as many men as you can.”
    But look for blogs that promote men sleeping with as many women as possible and you lose count.
    Return of Kings
    EveryPUA you can find…
    ….And if you can stomach it, read the comments in any of these.
    Read one of the latest on “Return of Kings” where one blogger brags about banging 4 women in 3 hours or something like that…
    Just antecdotal. But I’ve never run across any blogs where women brag about it.
    And hope to God I never meet any of these men (or women, if they exist — I wouldn’t want to be friends ith the sluts either, they could ruin my reputation by proximity)


  5. S.C.O.R.C.H.™ (@_Scorch_) June 2, 2013 at 21:29 #

    Men don’t like slutty men either.
    Men often *pretend* that we do, and high five and fist bump, when your dogg friend is recounting his latest conquest, but let him turn his attention towards your sister or your daughter, and it’s a different story.
    No man wants to be friends with a guy whom you can’t trust around your girlfriend or wife, because you know he has no honor.

    So, sluts in general = FAILED AT LIFE.


  6. Marlo Rocci June 2, 2013 at 21:48 #

    I’m willing to befriend a slut…over and over again.

    But seriously, what really matters is who passes on their genes. If that girl in high school who started banging guys at 14 ends up with a lifetime child product rate higher than those good girls who waited until marriage…which never happened because Mr. Absolutely Perfect never came along, then we know what the next generation of women will be like. Since more educated women are “holding out” until their uterus dries up, I expect that it’s the sluts who will produce the next generation.

    Welcome to population drift. See Darwin for the details.


  7. reyeko June 2, 2013 at 21:52 #

    just referring to the general feminist practice of quoting sound bytes without any empirical justification, the abstracts mentions ‘partial’ support for the double standard but that could mean anything.


  8. Giraffe June 2, 2013 at 22:11 #

    I gotta disagree with Dre on this. I was (admittedly unhappily) ho-ing for a brief time several years ago and felt an incredible emotional connection to one man the first time we met. We each saw past the roles and identities we were playing, fell in love, married, and I am a damn good housewife 😉 and he is a wonderful husband.

    Most men I saw during my brief ‘second job’ in that field were simply lonely (even if married), or hiding from something they didn’t like (about themselves). I encountered very few that met the stereotype of banging-in-isolation-of-any-emotional-connection : men do indeed attach very quickly and securely. There’s a saying coined by Charlie Sheen that I read on here that was something along the lines of hookers are great because you pay them to leave, and it works the other way too – hookers can find some men hard to shake off.


  9. The Black Fedora June 2, 2013 at 22:17 #

    Maybe women do not judge ‘sluts’ for moral reasons but because they do not want them meeting their boyfriends- which would tend to happen if they became friends with them.

    The effect is the same however.


  10. Days of Broken Arrows June 2, 2013 at 23:18 #

    Most any woman can have sex anytime. With most men it takes some effort. This is why there is an alleged double standard — because there are two standards of achievement being attained.

    A key that opens any lock is a master key. A lock that can be opened by any key is a lousy lock.


  11. Days of Broken Arrows June 2, 2013 at 23:21 #

    They judge them because they bring the “market price” down for women. Meaning, a guy isn’t going to spend time getting to know a woman, when another woman gives it away within one night. Therefore, the “good women” are forced to give it away easier, therefore lowering their own market value. Hence the hatred — the behavior of sluts alters the behavior of the sexual marketplace for all women in some ways.


  12. susanawalsh June 3, 2013 at 00:00 #

    This is the best thing to happen to me in quite a while! Thanks for the link to HUS – I am always in trouble with Amanda et all for telling it like it is. That’s a good thing.

    Sluts generally don’t seek me out, but my inbox is chock full of women who jumped off a cliff and had no-strings sex hoping for the best. Yeah, that doesn’t work out too well.


  13. driversuz June 3, 2013 at 00:03 #

    Sluts don’t like sluts? Jezebel lied??? Well, that’s because PATRIARCHY!

    Excellent article, JB, as usual!


  14. Brigadon June 3, 2013 at 00:49 #

    I am totally in favor of making friends with slutty women. Long enough to come on their face. Then kick ’em to the curb, they are otherwise useless as friends.


  15. Exfernal June 3, 2013 at 01:08 #

    There is a difference between making a living as a working girl and slutting around for the thrill of it.


  16. Goober June 3, 2013 at 01:28 #

    I tend to reject the idea that it is socially accepted and admirable for a man to be a “man-slut”.

    Reason being is that it is very much against my personal experience. I will absolutely grant that the social implications of sluttiness are less severe for men, but they still exist and they are without doubt very negative.

    Generally they are viewed as perpetual adolescents who haven’t grown up (and need to) . No one is throwing ticker tape parades for them like Jezebel would like for us all to believe. That’s for sure.


  17. Keanu June 3, 2013 at 07:13 #

    In timely fashion, I came across a site relevant to this topic just a few hours ago. How ironic can you get? The site is called ‘and that’s why you’re still single.’ and it’s encouraging ladies to to slut it up!

    ….and *that’s* why you’re still single!


  18. Master Beta June 3, 2013 at 09:19 #


    Sluts lower the value of a woman’s sexuality because they increase the supply of sex.


  19. Spaniard June 3, 2013 at 10:41 #

    Sluts do not sleep with anyone. Sluts sleeps around a lot bay not with anyone. Promiscuity does not mean “easy”.


  20. Spaniard June 3, 2013 at 10:44 #

    Agree. Beta men do not like womanizers either. Half envy, half precaution in case they have a girlfriend or wife.


  21. Spaniard June 3, 2013 at 10:50 #

    I love sluts or women with a lot of past for girlfriends. They are such a fun. But I would not have children with them. It is unfair to take responsibility where a lot of others did not.
    Children just with virgins. Actual virgins. Not “born again virgins”.


  22. Spaniard June 3, 2013 at 10:54 #

    “BUT”, no “BAY”.


  23. Liz June 3, 2013 at 10:54 #

    “Why do I read this shit?”

    So we don’t have to!
    I rely on you, JB. 🙂


  24. Spaniard June 3, 2013 at 10:56 #

    JB, you are already married, but, when you where single, would you think it would be OK to marry a womaniser?
    Are women reluctant to womanisers for serious relationships or marriage?


  25. Spaniard June 3, 2013 at 11:00 #

    “when you WERE”. Sorry. Still struggling with my Engish.


  26. Spaniard June 3, 2013 at 11:01 #

    “ENGLISH”. Damn!!!


  27. Spaniard June 3, 2013 at 11:16 #

    Talking about working girls… I suspect that women, in general, they have no problem at all to marry a womaniser, but they do have a problem about to marry a “john”. But… why is that? I think it is about merit. A womaniser has merit, a “john” has not. Women love merit
    And, other question… why is that most of sluts and working girls (high class) are so hot? Regular women cannot be sluts or high class escorts. Promiscuity is not so easy, you need the looks.


  28. Liz June 3, 2013 at 11:43 #

    Well…supply is increased but quality decreases. Value of quality actually goes up.


  29. judgybitch June 3, 2013 at 12:21 #


    I think I DID marry a “womanizer”, in that my husband didn’t hesitate to sample the herd, when he was single.

    In one of my previous posts, I think I talked about the clipboard. He had one hanging beside his bed with a chart that contained various women’s names and what they had been talking about in their last conversation. His rule was to never call a woman. She had to call him. Then he would consult his chart and pick up the conversation where they had left off.

    He knew I was different, because I never called him. Nope. He had to chase me.

    I made sure he caught me, too.

    I’ll have to think about WHY it’s different, but for some reason, it is. Mr. JB’s previous ladies have never felt threatening. They were simply a way to pass the time.


  30. Sean11 June 3, 2013 at 12:59 #

    “Name a sexual disease
    She’s got it
    Like Sam Goody”

    Even if someone is a serial monogamist, everyone knows after three times, the prophylactics get thrown away. Rinse and repeat.


  31. A. June 3, 2013 at 14:23 #

    Untrue. I have met some wildly unattractive sluts, like in my friend’s sorority. Yikes.

    Or let’s talk about an extreme example: hardcore porn. Busted. Seriously.

    Beautiful women take care of themselves. If you really take care of yourself, you don’t just let every male with enough cash to buy you a jäger-bomb sweat all over you.


  32. freetofish June 3, 2013 at 16:17 #

    From a male perspective, I don’t think once you’re past say 20-25 and graduate university men who whore around get respect for it at all from other men. Especially past 30.

    Maybe it’s just me, but I think while men with options won’t consider a woman who has been the slutty party girl through her 20’s as a long term mate, they also don’t want one who is completely clueless or repressed in the sack either.


  33. Brigadon June 3, 2013 at 17:46 #

    There’s no such thing as a ‘born again virgin’.


  34. LS June 3, 2013 at 19:02 #


    “Sexually permissive women are ostracized for being ‘easy,’ whereas men with a high number of sexual partners are viewed with a sense of accomplishment”

    It looks oh-so-unfair, but look at the converse:

    Female virgins = valued. Male virgins = ridiculed.

    Flip sides of the same coin.


  35. Giraffe June 3, 2013 at 22:08 #

    Sex work requires considerably more than a jäeger-bomb, though. Slutting doesn’t. It’s the age-old exchange of beauty and attention for money – the values on either side of the scale need to be relatively in balance.

    That is not to say that all ‘beautiful’ women value themselves, either… the value can often sought from a third party, whether paying large sums of money for immediate access or woo-ing in the dating game and proving worthiness and desirability in that.

    Also, the majority of sluts i know aren’t living it up and revelling in their sexual freedoms – they’re deeply unhappy and can bury their misery through distraction in brief sexual encounters, while simultaneously believing they’re not worth much at all.


  36. Giraffe June 3, 2013 at 22:18 #

    Well, on the surface it would appear I fell in love with and married a ‘John’, and he fell in love with and married a ‘ho’. But neither of those titles defined who we were then or who we are now. Ultimately, I fell in love with a person, the heart and mind beneath the initial facade, and vice versa.

    I’m not sure I agree that it’s about merit. Perhaps more that the idea of marrying a ‘womaniser’ can satisfy women’s egos in that they are deemed to be better than or worth more than all the women before her because she becomes the chosen one / the one that can ‘tame’ him because she is ‘enough’ to satisfy his needs. And that ‘johns’ can be perceived to go and casually pick up a quick session with a prostitute as easily as nipping to the shop for a loaf of bread – it’s how values and transactions are viewed?

    Though in my own experience neither of those came into it, but these seem to be the perceptions and values that abound…


  37. Tytalus June 3, 2013 at 23:28 #

    I wonder about this too. Low class “sluts” can have 6 kids by 6 fathers, vs the 1 kid the woman with the M.Sc who waits until 35.


  38. A. June 4, 2013 at 01:25 #

    If we are going to talk market value, though, and relationship economy, I do hope the value of the women in your lives are based on more factors than just the number of people who have visited her panties.


  39. Keen Observer June 4, 2013 at 03:02 #

    Reductio ad absurdum to this = “Idiocracy”


  40. Clover June 4, 2013 at 07:29 #

    Not always true. In my social circles, virgins have always been considered in a similar manner to brain-damaged children – people try to avoid saying bad words in front of them, and are very nice to them, but also feel like it’s hard to form a real friendship with them because there’s so much they don’t understand.
    It seems to apply equally to the genders, maybe moreso to the girls because after all everyone ‘knows’ how easy it is for girls to get laid.
    The only guy I know who really truly sleeps around a lot is considered a jerk by pretty much everybody who isn’t in his bed, and the only similar girl I know is in an on-off relationship with him, and neither of them is considered highly for bed hopping.
    I think it’s reasonable to say that nobody minds a reasonable number of partners. Sleeping with a single-digit number of people probably wouldn’t raise eyebrows among any of my friends, and lower numbers might be well viewed by some…but virginity? Nah, virgins are shunned.


  41. Clover June 4, 2013 at 07:37 #

    This ^
    Most guys don’t just want to bang chicks. The urge is there, but it’s not as strong as the urge to get into a relationship with a girl he gets on with. It irritates me no end how so many people act as if guys just want to get laid, when every guy I’ve talked to on the topic says he’ll accept a proposition for sex if a (hot) woman comes asking, but if he is the one approaching he’ll be looking to offer friendship and a relationship before bringing up sex.


  42. Spaniard June 4, 2013 at 09:53 #

    “Perhaps more the idea of marrying a “womaniser” can satisfy women’s egos… etc”
    You hit it.
    Feminism, in last decades, has used the same logic: a man who marry a slut should be very happy because he supposed to be the one among a lot. And plenty of men in Europe and North America deeply believe this. I could say, it is the norm nowadays in Europe and USA.

    But there is a problem here: the womaniser who gets marry and has children with the one, takes economic responsibility.
    And the slut who marries the one, does not take the responsibility. The “one” does.

    S, what has done feminism is confusing the math in women-men relationships.


  43. Mike Hunter June 6, 2013 at 01:27 #

    There’s a difference in between being promiscuous and having no honor. I have a very lively sex life. But I’d never try to sleep with my friends girlfriend, wife, or even ex.


  44. Mike Hunter June 6, 2013 at 01:28 #

    Thats actually a pretty awesome movie!


  45. Exfernal July 3, 2013 at 12:27 #

    Here you are.


  46. Erik Norén November 10, 2013 at 19:27 #

    Hasn’t JB herself suggested that not-sluts (or what would the term be?) Should gather other values to compete with? How valued should a guy be if the only reason he sticks around is that the not-slut withholds sex until later?
    Or put another words don’t sluts simply increase the calue of not-sluts by showing what their relationshipvalue is? A not-slut should be higher relationship value unless the slut has the same relationship stats.


  47. GaryJohnson2016 November 12, 2014 at 03:53 #

    Sluts fill a necessary role in society, in the same way a bucket fills a role when you have a leak in your house. Without the bucket, the rain (male sexuality) would get your pristine carpet (virginal women) dirty.


  48. Agatha January 20, 2015 at 00:51 #


    The rewards of vagina slinging are denied to the slutty ladies who have racked up 20 partners (or more!), and this is clearly a problem.

    Emancipated woman toileth sore,
    And must before she may be badged the slut,
    Impale her withered pear upon a troop,
    The serried pizzles of a score of men.
    ‘Twas never thus! Whoever raised the bar?

    I remember recently reading something to the effect that the average woman now (either in the U.S. or the U.K.) will spread her legs for no fewer than eight men in her lifetime. That’s every player on a polo field. …So her lucky hubby ends up sharing her with a whole basketball team (plus the coach).

    But it’s okay: a woman’s sexual past doesn’t matter. Just ask a feminist.


  49. Persephone February 6, 2015 at 02:15 #

    I could never be with a man like that. Maybe I’m unusual in this, but to me a male slut is every bit as ruined as a female slut. I just find it repulsive. I can’t respect him, and I could never have complete faith in him; and it’s impossible for me to love a man I can’t respect or trust. I appreciate self-discipline and strength: physical, mental, emotional and moral. To me, casual promiscuity indicates the same defects in men as it does in women: weakness, lack of self-respect and self-control, and low moral standards. Womanizers and PUAs actually make my skin crawl. I wouldn’t let one of them even touch my hand, that’s how much they repulse me.

    My husband slept with 8 women before me. The 8th was his wife of 22 years, whom he never cheated on. I have the greatest respect for this man and I trust him with the most perfect trust I’ve ever felt in my adult life. Because of this, I open up to him as I’ve never opened up to any man, and there is nothing I won’t do for him. He is my safe place in this world. A woman needs above all to feel safe before she can really let go and surrender her deepest self to a man.



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