I stumbled across this website a few days ago, and I was both repulsed and fascinated by it. It’s called Earn The Necklace, with the tagline Young Women….Rich, Older Men….Juicy Confessions.
This column in particular caught my attention: How to Get What You Want Without Giving Him What He Wants
And yes, it’s just what you imagine. It’s advice for “Sugar Babies” on how to wheedle out the cash and gifts, all the while avoiding having sex with the generous “Sugar Daddy”. The ladies are not in these relationships for the emotional or intellectual benefits an older man brings. Nope.
Why do we do it? Because wealthy older men provide us with the most important thing: freedom! They provide their sugar babies with a steady source of income. They’re generous, supportive, and respect our boundaries. He isn’t invasive and doesn’t ask too many questions. Deep down, he just wants to know that you are in love with him. And for the most part, he’s careful to not rock the boat too much out of fear of upsetting you.
How to get that income, putting out as little as possible? Here’s the advice in a nutshell:
1. Pretend to be busy when you’re not and then call and pretend you’re bored and deliberately frustrate him sexually.
Very mature. But there is method to this madness.
Tell him you’re lying naked on the bed, that you’re bored, you miss him, and you don’t know what to do with yourself. Ask him if he likes phone sex or if he would rather wait until he sees you in person. Before you say good night, tell him about everything you bought while you were out shopping (with his money, of course.) Better yet, describe in detail everything you didn’t buy but wish you had. There’s a good chance he’ll make sure you get it.
2. Start petty arguments so you can pretend to be too pissed off to have sex. Don’t listen to his side of the argument.
Be thorny, not prickly. Make it trivial enough to get you a one– or two-night reprieve, but not so petty that he won’t bother participating in the argument. And catch him off guard—sit casually in a chair while watching TV, look over at him, and lob a beef you’ve been holding back on. Then stand up, with your hands on your hips, and leave the room. Since you only really care about the one side to the story, you don’t need to sit around waiting for his rebuttal. Tell him that it is what it is, and that you need some time alone to think. That will really help drive the point home and if he’s smart, he’ll know to leave you alone for a while.
3. Pretend you have some sort of medical issue involving your lady bits and use that as an excuse to avoid sex.
Most sugar daddies have already suffered through a long-term relationship or two, and they don’t want to make waves. He especially won’t want to talk about your female body issues. Unless your sugar daddy is a physician, there are a large number of unquestionable female issues that can save the day.
4. Get him really excited over the course of the day, order take-out and then tell him there’s only time for a quickie. It’ll be over in a flash.
Set the mood at dinner. When you hear the turning of the lock, greet him at the door wearing an apron over his favorite piece of lingerie. Tell him you want to work up an appetite before dinner, but you ordered delivery so he’ll have to try and be quick. Rest your elbows on the kitchen table, look demurely over your shoulder at him, and call him over. A little wrap around fun and it’ll be over in a flash.
5. Bore him to death with a really long night of movies
After a long day at the office and four, five, or six hours of watching The Godfather, he’ll be ready to call it a night—he may even fall asleep on the couch. “It’s OK,” you tell him, adding, “We can do it tomorrow if you’re up for it.”
You’re probably waiting for the joke to kick in, right? What new madness is this? It’s not a joke. Earn the Necklace has a US Alexa Ranking of 33 254, meaning it’s a rather popular site.
This shit really happens.
And Miami seems to be a hotspot for sugar baby/daddy relationships. Jezebel cottoned on to this, and my goodness, did they ever work hard to spin the ladies as poor exploited victims of predatory men.
Are you a young woman who likes money or an old man with money who likes young women and would like to use aforementioned money to perhaps buy a young woman? If so, you may be profiled in a recently published piece that combines two of the least fun subjects in the world: the concept of sugar babies — young women who hook up with rich old dudes so the old dudes buy them crap, often at great risk to themselves and their own well-being— and Miami, Florida.
Hahahahahahah! No silly, they don’t really GET terrible diseases of the ladyparts, they just pretend to, so they can get all that shit without having to pay for it. I mean, that has to be the “great risk” Jez is talking about, isn’t it?
Maybe I’m missing something. Somebody clue me in as to how having a rich, older boyfriend pay all your bills puts the WOMAN at risk? Is there a danger she might accidentally suffocate under the bag of cash her Sugar Daddy provides her?
What really sucks about sugar baby relationships is that most of the arrangements don’t seem like they’re entered into freely; they’re a desperate response to a shitty set of circumstances — a lack of job opportunities, lack of job abilities, and last, but not least, the insanely high cost of college education.
Oh, poor wittle duckies. No job skills (whose fault is that) and the high cost of education (boo hoo). And no job opportunities in Miami. Let’s see. Monster.com says there are 1000’s of jobs in Miami, right at this very moment.
Oh, but those jobs are sucky. You have to show up at inconvenient times and actually work. Sugar Babies get paid to look nice and have sex, and there aren’t a whole lot of jobs out there with those requirements.
Oh, wait. Yes there are. It’s called prostitution. Uh-oh. Cue the feminist histrionics! Ladies, you can be anything you want to be. Except a stay at home mother. Or a hooker.
In short, young women in south Florida are turning to what basically amounts to internet prostitution with expensive cocktails for the same reason that Walter White started cooking meth on Breaking Bad: because America is untenably, depressingly fucked up.
Really, when you consider the blatant exploitation of MEN that goes on these relationships, it’s rather curious that feminists don’t stand up to applaud Sugar Babies. You go girl! Get that money! He’s only rich because patriarchy anyways!
And some Sugar Babies are in it for serious cash.
Chanel wants $20 000/month. Jesus. Her college must charge a lot of tuition.
Whitney will settle for just $10 000/month. Well, she’s young. Her value might go up when she gets a little experience?
Oh, now, there I think the problem lies. No, Whitney’s value won’t go UP over time, it will go down. Sexual economics. Men will pay for beauty and sex, and a straightforward cash transaction comes with benefits. Mostly, the ability to avoid long-term financial obligations and a way to control Lady Drama. The Sugar Babies understand this well. Pick a fight, but keep it trivial. There is only so much bullshit your rich boyfriend is willing to tolerate.
Okay, I just did a Google search to confirm that men have not (as of yet) been held financially liable for their mistresses, and I came across this: it turns out that the Wife can sue the Other Woman under Alienation of Affection laws, which are in effect in seven US states.
Cynthia Shakelford was awarded $9million when she took her husband’s mistress to court!
Holy crap! That’s quite an award. The senior ladies take infidelity pretty seriously, now don’t they?
Let’s Google Shakelford and Jezebel. Here we are:
What happened to Shackelford is horrible, and she probably is in shock and isn’t thinking clearly. But just because she thinks the marriage was “great” doesn’t make it so — it just means her husband was a really good liar. Sleeping with a man you know is married is a shitty thing to do, but someone needs to explain to Shackelford that her husband, not his mistress, is the one who broke a vow to be faithful.
Hmm. Curious. So Jezebel does NOT support the right of young, attractive women to capitalize on their sexual appeal in whatever ways they deem appropriate, but neither do they support the rights of older women to go after these HomeWreckers.
Why? Because in the first scenario, men get some benefits that only young attractive women can provide. Sugar Babies skew the competitive landscape, and that makes the older ladies who wasted their most attractive years studying Comparative Women’s Literature and refusing to shave a wee bit tiffed.
Ladies haven’t lost their lust for men who can provide for them. Not in the least.
But they have lost the ability to attract those breadwinning men, because they forgot that men don’t give away their cash for nothing: they want beauty and love and youth and children in exchange.
The hour-glass figure, signalling fertility and reproductive health appeals to men universally.
Sugar Babies are a new generation of women, raised to believe they have complete autonomy over their own bodies and sexuality, in a capitalist economy, learning to connect the dots. The vocal opposition from feminists comes down to one thing: sour fucking grapes.
They can’t compete. And the suggestion that men’s desires and natural inclinations are perfectly acceptable and manageable further pisses them off. Real men love PEOPLE, not bodies.
Well, yes. Real men DO love people, but those people come in bodies, and some of those bodies are more appealing than others. All the screaming in the world isn’t going to change that, and young women, who are far from stupid, see that when the supply is tightened, the demand goes up.
And so does the price.
The payout for being The Other Woman can be very high indeed. Given the loathing that feminism demonstrates for the two women they hate the most in the world, housewives and hookers, one would think the feminist ladies would love to see the Pretty Young Things get their comeuppance.
But that is in conflict with the central premise of feminism: women are VICTIMS. When forced to choose, they cling to the Victim Mentality, and blame MEN, and only men, for infidelity. The wife is obviously a victim because CHEATING BASTARD, but the mistress is a victim too because EXPLOITATION.
It’s a pretty impressive little hamster dance, isn’t it?
Earn the Necklace paints a very different picture. The only thing these women are victims of is avarice and laziness. Sugar Daddies know what they are getting, and they are not victimized in any way, but neither are the Sugar Babies. They know how to exploit their own value, and how to maximize their incomes. They are strategic in extracting maximum payouts for minimal inputs. They take their careers very seriously, and invest heavily in themselves. It’s almost like they “Lean In”, no?
What Sugar Babies do is challenge the notion that women are perpetually exploited children incapable of making rational decisions about their own sexuality and bodies. What if we framed the abortion debate in the same terms as we frame prostitution? Poor ladies exploited by murderous abortionists, unable to make rational decisions about their own bodies and sexuality.
And what Sugar Babies do more than anything else is validate the Sugar Daddies. Male sexuality is a powerful force, not to be contained and dampened, but to be exploited. Obviously, there is a very dark undercurrent running along that assertion, but the Sugar Baby/Sugar Daddy relationship puts men’s desires front and center, alongside women’s.
Bruce Willis. Yes, please!
If there is exploitation going on in these partnerships (and from the sentiments on Earn the Necklace, there most certainly IS exploitation), one thing is certain: it goes both ways.
There’s a word for that: Equality.
I personally have no problem with these transactional relationships. I assume both the men and the women involved understand the deal and consider the benefits to outweigh the costs. What business is it of mine? The existence of Sugar Babies just ensures that I keep myself as competitive as possible.
Dara Torres was 45 when she bid for a spot on the Olympic Swim Team.
She came fourth, against her much, much younger competitors, and missed out on her sixth Olympiad.
She may have missed the cut by one place, but hot damn!
She’s still on her game. I wonder how much she could get per month? It’s not like she would be the first Olympian to escort on the side.
Suzie’s no spring chicken, either, but she still plays by the rules of the game.
Men like beauty. They always have and always will. And they will pay for it. Some will pay with a lifetime of labor and loyalty, like my husband. And some will pay $50 000/month.
Well, for Chanel’s sake, and all the other Sugar Babies out there, I hope so.
College has never been more expensive!
Lots of love,