Trigger warning: image of feminist journalist and some possibly NSFW partial nudes
As always, the original article is in italics.
Here’s Roxane Gay, writing a lovely piece of hypocrisy and cluelessness at Salon. This kind of self-pitying, blatantly sexist bullshit is getting a bit tiring, but it’s still instructive. Men don’t have the corner on being assholes, ladies. There are plenty of asshole women, too. Roxane Gay being one of them.
http://www.salon.com/2013/07/05/what_men_want_america_delivers/
What men want, America delivers
From Robin Thicke’s latest songs to abortion restrictions around the country, America’s all about men’s desires
What women want, America delivers.
From Carrie Underwood’s latest songs to reproductive restrictions on men, America’s all about women’s desires.
In his single “Blurred Lines,” Robin Thicke sings soulfully about giving a good girl what she really wants—buckwild sex—even if she can’t come out and admit it. It’s a catchy enough song. Some might even call it this summer’s anthem. But “Blurred Lines” is also a song that revisits the age-old belief that sometimes when a woman says no she really means yes.
In her single “Two Black Cadillacs”, Carrie Underwood sings soulfully about giving a cheating boyfriend what he deserves – death – even if he doesn’t come right out and ask for it. It’s a catchy song. Some might even call it a you-go-girl anthem. But “Two Black Cadillacs” revisits the age-old belief that men’s sexuality belongs to women and that cheating men deserve to die.
Critics have been vocal about the sexual violence undertones in the song and they’re not wrong. Robin just knows you want it, girl. He just does, so shut up and let him give it to you. Scores of men and women are, apparently, on board. “Blurred Lines” is Thicke’s most popular song to date. In his latest single, “Give it 2 U,” Thicke doubles down on his bad boy phase with the lyrics “I got this for you / a little Thicke for you / A big kiss for you / I got a hit for you / Big dick for you / Let me give it to you.” In the wake of the criticism, Thicke is fairly unapologetic, saying, “Women and their bodies are beautiful. Men are always gonna want to follow them around.”
Critics have not been the slightest bit vocal about the sexual violence in “Two Black Cadillacs“, and that is pretty fucked up right there. Carrie knows we want to see men die, so just shut up and let her do it. Scores of men and women are apparently on board. “Before He Cheats” is Underwood’s most popular song to date. In her latest single, “Two Black Cadillacs”, Underwood doubles down on her vengeful girlfriend phase with the lyrics “Two months ago his wife called the number on his phone/Turns out he’d been lying to both of them for oh so long/They decided then he’d never get away with doing this to them/Two black Cadillacs waiting for the right time, right time.”
The right time for what? Oh yeah. To kill a man.
I guess that’s that. Men want what they want.
I guess that’s that. Women want what they want.
In truth, I like these songs. They make me want to dance. I want to sing along. They are delightful pop confections. But. I enjoy the songs the way I have to enjoy most music—I have to forget I am a sentient being. I have to lighten up.
In truth, I like these songs. They make me want to dance. I want to sing along. They are delightful pop confections. But. I enjoy the songs the way I have to enjoy most music—I have to forget I am a sentient being. I have to lighten up.
Take Kanye West’s recently released “Yeezus.” It’s very compelling and ambitious, with sounds that are aggressive if not hostile. I’ve been listening to the album on repeat. I want to love Yeezus but I can’t because I hear lyrics like, “You see it’s leaders and it’s followers / But I’d rather be a dick than a swallower.” Kanye’s disdain for women overwhelms nearly every track — but then there’s a song like “Blood on the Leaves,” which is so outstanding you can’t possibly dismiss the album.
Take Pink’s recently released “The Truth About Love”. It’s very compelling and ambitious, with sounds that are aggressive if not hostile. I’ve been listening to the album on repeat. I want to love “The Truth About Love” but I can’t because I hear lyrics like, “Sometimes I hate every single stupid word you say/Sometimes I wanna slap you in your whole face.” Pink’s disdain for men overwhelms nearly every track – but then there’s a song like “Just Give Me a Reason”, which is so outstanding you can’t possibly dismiss the album.
This is just music, right? These artists are merely expressing themselves.
This is just music, right? These artists are merely expressing themselves.
So much of our culture caters to giving men what they want. A high school student invites model Kate Upton to attend his prom, and he’s congratulated for his audacity. A male fan at a Beyoncé concert reaches up to the stage to slap her ass because her ass is there, her ass is magnificent, and he wants to feel it. The science fiction fandom community is once again having a heated discussion, across the Internet, about the ongoing problem of sexual harassment at conventions — countless women are telling all manner of stories about how, without their consent, they are groped, ogled, lured into hotel rooms under false pretenses, physically lifted off the ground, and more.
So much of our culture caters to giving women what they want. High school girls meet Harry Styles of One Direction and are lauded as adorable, not predatory.
http://oceanup.com/2012/july/16/harry-styles-adorable-fan-meeting-photos
2NE1’s Dara kisses a fan boy in the audience because he is there and said, “I wanted it to be a special event for the fans who support me… I’ve performed the kiss four times at this point, and there are more than 10 concerts left on the tour.” 10 more random boys to kiss.
The male stripper community is once again having a heated discussion about aggressive female fans who grab their asses, grope their packages and offer to pay for sex.
But men want what they want. We should all lighten up.
But women want what they want. We should all lighten up.
It’s hard not to feel humorless as a woman and a feminist, to recognize misogyny in so many forms, some great and some small, and know you’re not imagining things. It’s hard to be told to lighten up because if you lighten up any more, you’re going to float the fuck away. The problem is not that one of these things is happening, it’s that they are all happening, concurrently and constantly.
It’s hard not to feel humorless as a man and a humanist, to recognize misandry in so many forms, some great and some small, and know you’re not imagining things. It’s hard to be told to lighten up, because if you lighten up any more, you’re going to float the fuck away. The problem is not that one of these things is happening, it’s that they are all happening, concurrently and constantly.
These are just songs. They are just jokes. They are just movies. It’s just a hug. They’re just breasts. Smile, you’re beautiful. Can’t a man pay you a compliment? In truth, this is all a symptom of a much more virulent cultural sickness — one where women exist to satisfy the whims of men, one where a woman’s worth is consistently diminished or entirely ignored.
These are just songs. They are just jokes. They are just movies. It’s just a little ass groping. A little murder on the side. Flex those muscles, you’re so strong, and so potentially useful! Can’t a woman pay you a compliment? In truth, this is all a symptom of a much more virulent cultural sickness — one where men exist to satisfy the whims of women, one where a man’s worth as a human being rather than a beast of burden is consistently diminished or entirely ignored.
Or I could put it this way. Let’s say this is simply the world we live in. If there is a spectrum of misogyny with pop culture on one end and the disrespect for women’s boundaries in the middle, on the other end, we have our nation’s lawmakers who implicitly encourage this entire spectrum to thrive.
Or I could put it this way. Let’s say this is simply the world we live in. If there is a spectrum of misandry with pop culture on one end and the disrespect for men’s boundaries in the middle, on the other end, we have our nation’s lawmakers who implicitly encourage this entire spectrum to thrive.
I could go on here, but really, what’s the point. These twisted little mewlings are so easy to dismantle, and it isn’t even fun anymore. It’s always men. Men are bad. Men are evil. Men are keeping women from achieving all their greatness by getting in the way with their absurd claims that they, too, deserve to be seen as human first, and men second.
Obviously, it’s men who are responsible for the fact that most women don’t give two fucks about politics, especially in Canada, right? Ladies prefer fashion and celebrity gossip because men? Or because a whole lot of them are dumb twats who prefer to let the boys deal with all the icky, tricky stuff like running the state?
Take any aspect of popular or political or economic culture, and for every negative attribute ascribed to men, you can bet your ass you will find the same negativity from women. Robin sings about aggressive, crude sex? And just what do you think Rhianna’s Sticks and Stones is about? Oh, I know. A woman who enjoys rough sex.
Call women gold-diggers and MISOGYNY!
http://hiphopworldmagazine.com/2013/06/19/misogyny-in-music/
Sing about your boy-toy gold-digger whom you toss out without a penny and it’s all rah-rah-rah GRLZZZZ!
Star Trek has gratuitous nudity? I can’t believe Abrams apologized for that.
http://io9.com/damon-lindelof-admits-the-star-trek-nudity-was-gratuit-508967420
Right, we could never understand a James Bond film without seeing Daniel Craig come sweeping out of the sea in his swim briefs. Man of Steel? Come on baby –show us your abs!
I guess I still have a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that on the one hand, feminism claims to be about EQUALITY, but on the other hand, self-identified feminist writers like Gay seem genuinely oblivious to the fact that every questionable, unpleasant, negative aspect of the culture they isolate for critique when it comes to men applies EQUALLY to women.
Body objectification? Check
Violent music? Check
Physical assaults? Check
Disrespect for physical boundaries? Check
Laws that privilege one gender over another? Check
http://www.now.org/nnt/03-97/father.html
It’s completely absurd to call out asshole men who think “I got a big dick for you” constitutes a great come-on, and then give women who call their husbands “stupid” and who want to slap their “whole face” a pass. Bullshit. If Robin is an asshole, then so is Pink.
Gay keeps telling herself to lighten up. Good advice, honey. Seriously. Lighten up. Men haven’t cornered the market on being shitheads by a long shot. And being a shithead isn’t even all that bad. Pink’s song is actually really, really awesome.
I sing it to my husband all the time. Because it’s true. I guess that makes me an asshole, too. Or just a bitch. Take your pick.
At the same time, I wanna hug you
I wanna wrap my hands around your neck
You’re an asshole but I love you
And you make me so mad I ask myself
Why I’m still here, or where could I go
You’re the only love I’ve ever known
But I hate you, I really hate you,
So much, I think it must be
True love, true love
I don’t really hate him, but those moments when we irritate the shit out of each other? This song is just the thing! It’s a free pass to call him an asshole. Kind of like when he talks about my blog, and calls me a bitch just a little too enthusiastically.
Obviously, we’re perfect for another.
No one has corned the market on being obnoxious in this house. We’re equals. Equally capable of being disagreeable and ornery and unpleasant.
Just like every other human. And yes, that includes women.
Lots of love,
JB
judgybitch 
In certain circles, identifying ever-more-subtle forms of privilege and oppression marks one as Enlightened. Those with the thinnest skins and most sensitive misogyny radar must have reached Nirvana!
Pharisees advertised their virtue by conspicuous rituals of cleansing and absolution, and by publicly condemning everybody else’s sins. Those preoccupied with spotting patriarchy and renouncing their own privilege don’t strike me as much different.
LikeLike
Good post.
Initial take: This is female feral sexuality. Hypergamy unleashed.
1. I want the best man (men) I can get. If I want to cheat, I can, because I’m just being true to myself. But my man can’t cheat on me; and if he even thinks about cheating, he deserves to die.
2. My man’s sexuality belongs to me. My sexuality belongs to me, and any man on whom I deign to bestow it (which man might or might not be my man. Depends on how I feel).
3. If I want to grab some random hot man’s ass or package or any other part of his body; I can, because he’s a man and men love that shit. But no random man has any right to touch me unless I want him to.
4. If my man pisses me off I have the right to put my hands on him, slap him, beat him and say all manner of abusive things to him. But no man has the right even to be pissed off at me for anything I say or do; much less even look at me in an offensive manner.
5. I can say and do anything I want, to whomever I want, anywhere I want, anytime I want, in any way I want, and you can’t say shit about it. Guys like Robin Thicke are assholes and douches for speaking their minds, though.
6. I can dress like a slut, grind my ass against your package, and twerk till the cows come home. But if you so much as touch me; I’ll call the cops (unless you’re a hot guy).
LikeLike
JB:
How come I am in moderation?
LikeLike
That article about the male stripper was an eye opener.
We’re living in a society of feral unrestrained female sexuality that goes leaps and bounds beyond the worst of what men used to do, because there are no penalties for these women who have grown up being told the entire world is theirs for the taking. Be anything they want to be, take whatever they want to take, screw whatever they want to screw.. have it all, the world is yours.
ps. at first, i thought you put up a picture of Fat Albert in place of Roxane Gay’s photo. Google images showed me you were not lying.
LikeLike
Here’s the question:
What’s going to happen next? Culturally I mean?
LikeLike
Not sure if this is the same Roxanne but dayumm… someone has an objectification problem here.
http://www.roxanegay.com/you-can-reserve-your-common-sense/
LikeLike
Sorry Deti.
I don’t know why that happens sometimes
LikeLike
Here’s the argument whenever this kind of hypocrisy shows up: The Feminist Victim Card. You can’t call a woman out for behaving exactly like what feminists condemn men for, because VICTIM CARD. Women have been victims of the patriarchy for centuries thus they get to play the victim card, forever. See some of the comments here -> http://jezebel.com/5992325/the-nine-hottest-reasons-why-its-not-hot-to-make-hot-lists
There really isn’t any defense against the Victim Card. This is what bothers me.
LikeLike
Superb post. I saw that article on Salon because I followed a link from Instapundit. Surprised he didn’t see it and alert his wife, Dr. Helen “Men on Strike” Smith.
LikeLike
The funny thing is, some femtroll quote miner will probably copy this, word for word, post it on a feminist blog, and, without a hint of irony, proclaim that even MHRAs readily acknowledge a woman’s right to unfettered hypergamy.
LikeLike
at first, i thought you put up a picture of Fat Albert in place of Roxane Gay’s photo. Google images showed me you were not lying.
Didn’t you know that she’s Fat Albert’s long, lost, illegitimate sister? (Fat Albert tried to suppress that fact and apparently still hasn’t gotten over the shame of it.)
LikeLike
There really isn’t any defense against the Victim Card.
Only if you’re restrained by political correctness and don’t believe in raising the bullshit flag whenever and wherever it needs to be raised. If you have no problem doing that, then the Victim Card can be torn to shreds in a matter of minutes and with just a few coherent, critically thought out sentences.
LikeLike
Actor/stripper Rowan Cox said:
“I had no idea women had it in them to act like that.”
Rowan, were you raised in a monastery? Or maybe as a young child you were in the same boat as this guy until you reached adolescence? I can think of no other explanation for how, at age 26, you could be so fucking clueless about women.
“Recently, some colleagues booked me for their boss’s birthday. I had to go to her glass-windowed office in working hours for a pretend job interview.
“I blagged my way answering some questions then made a big fuss about being hot and whipped off my shirt and tie.
“She was a professional, corporate woman but the moment I got down to business with the baby oil she completely lost control. She was screaming her head off!”
Just imagine a MALE executive not only getting such a “birthday gift” in the workplace, but reacting in the way this entitled, no-doubt-affirmative action-installed bitch did. He’d be hauled out of the office in handcuffs before he knew what hit him.
Oh, and anybody wanna bet that this “empowered grrrrrl” would be the FIRST to slap criminal sexual harassment charges against any man who even so much as looked at her the wrong way at work? So much for “what men want,” eh, Roxane?
“Another job was for a group of hammered girls in their twenties. I’d done my bit on the dancefloor and was getting dressed when one girl emptied my bottle of baby oil over my head. I had to run with the oil dripping everywhere as she chased me down the street.
Hey, howzabout male strippers perform in front of female audiences under the same conditions under which female strippers perform in front of men: have big, burly, butch-dike bouncers patrolling the crowds, especially near the stage, and have them grab, rough up, and toss out into the street the first woman who grabs for the guy?
I mean, after all, fair’s fair, right? Y’know, “equal protection” and all that?
LikeLike
Perfect.
You actually *do* need to post that somewhere.
LikeLike
Which I have done many times, and holy crap does it ignite a Flame War. Every single time.
LikeLike
Several famous artists are featured on Blurred Lines, not just Robin Thicke. I wonder why Gay singled him out?
The song and its accompanying video surprised me with their unapologetic tone bordering on fun caricature. Coupled with the artists’ refusal to back down from it, the song strikes me as a knowing pushback to radical feminism’s reach in the entertainment field. Its style is overtly PUA. Roissy would approve.
The song also brings to mind the popularity of 50 Shades of Grey as a recent real-world pop cultural reminder that what women actually desire in men contradicts radical feminist doctrine, something we PC-indoctrinated men who have internalized our emasculation learn with heartbreak.
If mainstream pop artists are waking up, hitting back against radical feminism, and then not backing down when called on it, that’s a promising sign the tide may be turning. They can’t change society on their own, of course. Men – and women – in other culture and policy making sectors need to join them. That includes you, JB. Keep doing what you’re doing.
LikeLike
Add: Thicke et al’s standing up for the song makes at least as much of a difference and maybe more than the song itself because their example can teach the rising generation of boys the true nature of radical feminism, how to counter its PC policing tactics effectively, and that standing up to it works.
LikeLike
Wanna see some raging Hypergamy in action?
I know ya do: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWg5Nty8sYg
LikeLike
I remember this lyrics by the Spice Girls:
“If you want my future, forget my past”.
1. Why the hell you think I want your future? Maybe I do, buyt maybe I just want to shag you and tomorrow is another day.
2. I do not care about your past. Even if I would like your future, I do not care about your past at all because I love sluts, and I deeply believe that sluts can make great girfriends and even wifes and moms. So, please, Spicegirl, do not behave such prude to me with that “excusatio non petita, acusatio manifesta”. That means maybe YOU care about your past. Not me.
“And don’t be waisting, my precious time, if you do it I will say goodbye”
Same to you, dear. If you want to shag, great, if you do not want, great, I respect it. But, please, do not play games with me. I find them boring and they stress me up a lot. If you do, “I will say goodbye” in a minute. There is a lt of hot women spicy women around In case you did not notice. And if they behave the same as you then I go for a hot spicy hooker and everybody is happy.
With love from a 90s youngster. Now 43. I enjoyed your songs in the nightclubs at the time.
LikeLike
7. Any child conceived in my body is totally & completely my property, to be paid for by whatever father(s) I point my finger at.
8, Any marital assets are mine to do with what I will at any point in time, regardless of how I act in the marriage, how long I stay married, and how many times I get married or cheat.
LikeLike
Even if you are hot guy, I would go carefuly… would be funny watching that hot guy placked by the cops.
Funny: I have been with several married women in my life (not many, but several) and they always loved talking to me about hubby like if I was a girlfriend. I enjoyed it and found it extremely funny (and a turn on. There is nothing like sex with married women) They always told me that they trusted hubbys so much and they were 100% secure that hubby never ever cheated and never will.
Of course, they always blamed on hubby because their cheating EXCEPT British women. They have the decency to not blame on hubby. They do it because they like. Full stop.
God save British women.
LikeLike
Women who do gigolos are cool and wilde and, we, men who do hookers we are pigs, slobs, scum on Earth, pathetics, losers, creeps, exploiters, male chauvinists, less than rats, we cooperate with human slavery, we do not deserve to have “normal” women, we are not able for reproduction, we are worthless that we have to pay, etc, etc.?
Maybe they are right. As said: women walk throw the dirt and they remain shiny, pure, adorable, clean, powerful… women are just like Dorian Grey.
LikeLike
Judgybitch, I cannot deal with Pink. With that angry face all the time and screaming all the time!!!!
Can you imagine having a Pink at home as a wyfie?
LikeLike
THROUGH
LikeLike
TACKLED by the cops.
LikeLike
THROUGH.
LikeLike
You can defend against the “victim card” if you’re familiar with critical alienation social theory.
The “victim card” is based on a modern twist of Marx’s historical application of his general philosophical theory of alienation. I emphasize “twist” because Marx’s historical application was very particular and based on an over-simplified, reductionist, and rigidly linear economic class-based economic historical model that has been discredited. It was effectively totalitarian in its class-based linearity.The historical application was, in fact, discredited by alienation social theorists contemporary to and immediately following Marx who otherwise drew upon his general theory of alienation.
Marx’s focus was saving all of humanity and the whole of society via the dominance of the proletariat, not just exchanging winners and losers. However, Marx’s historical application, despite its fatally flawed thesis, proved to be highly effective for revolutionaries of various stripes on the ground, and it has since been uncoupled from Marx’s economic reductionist model. Marx’s linear historical progression to its ultimate stage via the ultimately objectified and alienated commodified-by-the-capitalist-labor-system working class proletariat restoring subject and object to all of humanity by becoming the dominant economic class restoring 100% ownership of the value of labor has since been replaced by various identity-group ‘skins’. As I said, Marx’s historical application was highly particular. He would not have approved of the bastardization of his historical application.
I’m a fan of Marx despite that his mistakes have led to generations of pain in this world. What he got right in Marx 1.0, he got very right. What he got wrong in Marx 2.0, he got very wrong. I subscribe to critical alienation social theory. Most of us here do. In fact, the Manosphere red pill is based on it.
Just as Marx applied critical theory to his philosophical forebears, critical theory can be and has been applied to Marx. Critical theory can be applied to feminism and the other bastardizations of Marx’s historical application. The alienation social theory school is both critical and diverse.
As well, alienation social theory isn’t the only dominant school of social theory. Nor, for that matter, is its basic methodological collectivism, rooted in the Continental philosophical tradition, without alternative. Our social-political culture is a mix of both, but is largely rooted in the (social) contractarian school and methodological individualism of the English philosophical tradition (Hobbes, Locke, Smith, Mill, etc).
In short, if you’re familiar with critical alienation social theory, you can defend against feminist “victim card” dogma by shining a critical light on its underpinnings.
LikeLike
Add: I over-simplified. Methodological individualism is present in alienation social theory, too, especially when the frame is ‘them vs me’ (eg, Nietzsche) rather than ‘us vs them’.
LikeLike
9. (Corollary to 8) All property I bring to the marriage, as well as any money I earn during the marriage is my property, to be disposed of or used as I see fit.
LikeLike
More in the “Men’s Sexual Desires Are Not Legitimate” department:
Trigger Warning: Manjaw Mandy Ahead
http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/07/11/sad-horny-men-spouting-evo-psych-b-s-dont-believe-it-themselves/
tl;dr — Advice to man who wants sex with his wife but the wife does not reciprocate: shut the fuck up you sad pervert and do more housework!
LikeLike
I was a stripper for s short time. Although we didn’t call ourselves strippers, we were male adult entertainers. My friend owned the company. We were a private company, we didn’t perform at clubs.
The most awkward moment in that time was when a woman in her mid thirties hired us for a private show/bachlorette party.
She gave us an address, we showed up. All her friends were married, and their husbands would not allow their wives to go to a bachelorette party at a bar or whatever. So…she owned a nursery/daycare facility ans decided to use that.
Imagine dancing for a bunch of middle aged women in a room with bunnies and unicorns on the wallpaper….while the slap your ass and grab your junk. It’s a horrific memory. Anything for money, though.
LikeLike
Hello Mrs. Jud Gybitch!
I wanted to share an article I found very amusing, thinking it’s quite relevant to the topics you write about on your fine blog. It’s not relevant to this particular entry, but perhaps posting in the comments is better than spamming your email. Cheers!
http://www.xojane.com/it-happened-to-me/it-happened-to-me-i-got-pregnant-on-my-first-date
(good grief, this reads very much like a spambot post. Sorry about that! :DD Srsly, the article is from a feminist website, quite unintentionally funny and touches several topics you wrote about before)
LikeLike