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Appease the shrieking feminists and they will STILL piss and moan. Jane Austen is the WRONG sort of woman to grace a bank note. She liked men. And she understood economics. Obviously, Jane sucks.

25 Jul

Regular readers will know that I am a huge fan of period costume drama and Jane Austen is hands down my favorite author, across all time and space forever.  She is the greatest writer to have ever picked up a quill and anyone who doesn’t agree with me is wrong. Anne Elliot and Frederick Wentworth are the sine qua non of beautiful couples, unmatched by any other.

persuasion

So there.

I was, naturally, quite thrilled to hear that Jane Austen will be replacing Charles Darwin on the British ten pound bank note.  Anything with Jane on it wins in my book, but despite my enthusiasm for the Lady of the Letters, I was still able to pause for a moment to consider that the accusation that there is a dearth of women on British currency is utterly laughable.

Jane Austen banknote

Indeed, given the reach of the Commonwealth of Nations, surely the majority of the world’s currencies feature a woman?

new zealand

canada

australia

bahamas_money

54 nations, under the aegis of Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II.  Yeah, no women on currency around the globe at all.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Member_states_of_the_Commonwealth_of_Nations

Oh, but the Queen is not a role model for modern young women, so she doesn’t count. She’s just loyal and dutiful and practical and booooooooring.  We covered some of this yesterday.

http://judgybitch.com/2013/07/24/a-beautiful-healthy-baby-is-born-into-the-family-windsor-unfortunately-hes-a-boy-cue-the-feminist-ragefest/

The petitioners argued that while Queen Elizabeth’s face graces the front of every banknote, the monarch hardly represents the women of England—she’s on the currency because of her bloodline, not her merits. Apart from the Queen and Fry, Florence Nightingale is the only other woman whose face has appeared on a British banknote. (Nightingale was featured on the 10-pound note from 1975 until 1992).

http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2013/07/24/jane_austen_to_replace_charles_darwin_on_the_10_pound_note_says_bank_of.html?wpisrc=flyouts

flo

Florence Nightingale and Elizabeth Fry were more to the ladies liking.  Florence, of course, established modern nursing.  Never married, with some “close” relationships with other women.  She did, of course, prefer the company of men, saying:

I have never found one woman who has altered her life by one iota for me or my opinions

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Florence_Nightingale#Relationships

Oops.  Oh well.  She still looks better on the surface than that silly Jane who adored the company of other women, her sister Cassandra and her many nieces in particular, and of course her beloved characters.

sense

And Elizabeth Fry, well, she was a married mother of eleven children, deeply moved by the plight of prisoners and the homeless.  She worked tirelessly to improve their conditions, all the while managing her own substantial brood and some fairly disastrous family finances.

fry

Pretty much zero British people have any clue who or what Elizabeth Fry was or what she did.  She has no grand mystique surrounding her, like Nightingale or Austen, and therefore is also a safe choice for bank notes.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elizabeth_Fry

Jane, of course, has an entire cult of admirers who have kept her stories alive and loved across the centuries.  Jane’s books were prescribed to shell-shocked veterans of World War I, for “providing “great comfort” in a “crazy” world.

reading

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/books/ways-with-words/10164668/Ways-With-Words-2013-Jane-Austen-prescribed-as-antidote-to-the-horrors-of-WW1.html

So what is the opposition to Jane taking over from Charles Darwin on the ten pound note?

And what really irks is that the best woman the banking bods can think of is one who writes about finding a husband and waits quietly for her turn.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/jane-austen-10-banknote-wrong-1998982

Quietly waiting for her turn?  Clearly Susie Boniface has never read Austen.  Lizzie Bennet quietly waiting for her turn?  When Mr. Darcy proposes marriage, Lizzie has this to say to him:

lizzy

And those are the words of a gentleman. From the first moment I met you, your arrogance and conceit, your selfish disdain for the feelings of others made me realize that you were the last man in the world I could ever be prevailed upon to marry.

Yep, pretty meek there, Lizzie!

Fanny Price fends off the advances of Edward Crawford, Anne Elliot stalwartly refuses her cousin Mr. Elliot and outright refuses Charles Musgrove, Emma literally shoves the obnoxious Mr. Elton out of the carriage and asks him if he is drunk when he proposes, and Elinor Dashwood scoffs at her brother’s insistence that she grab up Colonel Brandon before her ovaries shrivel into dust at the ripe old age of nineteen.  Yeah, yeah, Emma Thompson is a bit older, but in the book, Elinor is nineteen!

elinor

None of Austen’s ladies are meek or sit around “waiting for their turn”.

But they are intent on finding a husband they can love, respect, admire and prosper under.

And that, if you ask me, is the real opposition against Jane Austen on the British currency.  Jane lives on in popular imagination as the woman who wrote detailed, exquisite stories about women’s search for a husband.  She has been updated as Bridget Jones, another woman desperately seeking Mr. Right, to hilarious ends.

'BRIDGET JONES: THE EDGE OF REASON'

Emma becomes the delightful Cher in Clueless, incapable of seeing what is right in front of her face.  The man in the “friendzone” is the one she wants.

cher

Marriage.  That’s what Jane Austen stands for, and it is something modern feminists hate with a passion.  Oh, they like marriage, all right.  The legal entitlement to a man’s assets, but that all rests on the assumption that the natural conclusion of any marriage is DIVORCE.

Interestingly enough, it seems like men are starting to really clue into just how vulnerable marriage makes them.  Normally, the discussion of why men don’t want to get married engages some variation of the immature, stupid, lazy man-child playing video games in a Cheetos-dusted Superman t-shirt in his mom’s basement.

man child

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/opinion/opedcolumnists/item_G4qe75VZxzuKq9xKPeeuIJ

Helen Smith, writing at the Huffington Post offers some slightly more accurate perspectives on men’s growing reluctance to tie the knot.  Here are her 8 reasons men no longer see marriage as a particularly great deal:

1. You will lose, rather than gain respect when you marry

2. Your wife will get fat and sex will be a pleasant dream

3. Your friendships will suffer

4. Your wife will take over the entire living space and declare it hers

5. You’ll lose your kids and your money (even if the kids are not biologically yours)

6.  You’ll get fucked in court, no matter what

7. Pay up, or you will go to jail

8. Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/helen-smith/8-reasons-men-dont-want-t_b_3467778.html

On the one hand, it’s refreshing to see a writer actually discuss what is happening with the state of marriage rather than just whinge about how men are lazy assholes who won’t grow the fuck up.  On the other hand, it means that both men and women who are truly, deeply interested in a permanent union with one another are up against a social tide that looks increasingly dangerous to men.

mariage

Why should men get married?  What are the benefits?

According to Men’s Health, there are still some pretty damn good reasons to get married.

1. Increase Your Pay

A Virginia Commonwealth University study found that married men earn 22 percent more than their similarly experienced but single colleagues.

2. Speed Up Your Next Promotion

Married men receive higher performance ratings and faster promotions than bachelors, a 2005 study of U.S. Navy officers reported.

3. Keep You Out of Trouble

According to a recent U.S. Department of Justice report, male victims of violent crime are nearly four times more likely to be single than married.

4. Satisfy You in Bed

In 2006, British researchers reviewed the sexual habits of men in 38 countries and found that in every country, married men have more sex.

5. Help You Beat Cancer

In a Norwegian study, divorced and never-married male cancer patients had 11 and 16 percent higher mortality rates, respectively, than married men.

6. Help You Live Longer

A UCLA study found that people in generally excellent health were 88 percent more likely to die over the 8-year study period if they were single.

http://www.menshealth.com/mhlists/benefits_of_marriage_and_commitment/

I’m interested in those contradictory statements about sex.  Which is it?  Do married men have more or less sex than their single counterparts? I suspect the duration and quality of the marriage has a lot to do with it.  A topic for another day.

If men are the most vulnerable in marriage, then it stands to reason that picking a partner is of vital importance.  How do you know which woman will give you the benefits, and which ones will detonate the divorce grenade?

Tough call.  I’ve taken a stab at that subject before, but now I want to add another flag to look for.

http://judgybitch.com/2012/11/16/how-to-pick-a-wife-advice-for-single-men/

http://judgybitch.com/2012/12/10/country-girls-should-be-your-kind-of-crazy-too/

reading jane

Does she like Jane Austen?  If your lady friend has a copy of Pride and Prejudice, or Emma or the swoon inducing Persuasion on her bedside table, or a well-worn copy of Mansfield Park tucked in her bookshelf, she just might be a woman who is looking for permanent love.

books

A woman who doesn’t like Jane Austen?

That is a woman to avoid.  She will never pierce your soul.  She may leave you in agony, but never in hope. She is best left behind with her cat and her Scum Manifesto. But it’s early yet to despair.  The continuing popularity of Jane Austen and her beautiful stories suggests there are LOTS of women who value love and companionship and the enduring loyalty and comfort of a happy marriage.

crofts

You just have to keep looking.

There is nothing lost, but may be found, if sought.

Jane Austen

Lots of love,

JB

94 Responses to “Appease the shrieking feminists and they will STILL piss and moan. Jane Austen is the WRONG sort of woman to grace a bank note. She liked men. And she understood economics. Obviously, Jane sucks.”

  1. Spaniard July 25, 2013 at 17:14 #

    Mens Health is a mangina magazine.

    Like

  2. judgybitch July 25, 2013 at 17:17 #

    Is it?

    Is that a general consensus? I didn’t know that.

    Like

  3. Wallace Black July 25, 2013 at 17:24 #

    So, feminists whine about the British royal baby being a boy, they whined about the British banknote having Jane Austen on it… these things come in threes, so I predict the next whinefest will come about when the British Broadcasting Corporation casts another dude as the next Doctor Who. Feminism Whines About Britain Trifecta!

    Like

  4. Marlo Rocci July 25, 2013 at 17:43 #

    1. Increase Your Pay
    because they end up working more overtime to pay the kid’s bills.
    2. Speed Up Your Next Promotion
    Yes, guys working towards an early grave do ten to get promoted more often.
    3. Keep You Out of Trouble
    Also known as not having a life.
    4. Satisfy You in Bed
    I call bullshit. Reports from friends is that wives stop trying the moment the ring is on the finger.
    5. Help You Beat Cancer
    see below
    6. Help You Live Longer
    “single” is not clearly defined. However, easily explained in the women don’t marry unhealthy men. Go figure. Reversing cause and effect here.

    Like

  5. onlyonepinman July 25, 2013 at 17:56 #

    What an absolutely stunning article. Thankyou and well done.

    Luckily my wife is a massive Jan .Austen fan.

    Like

  6. Spaniard July 25, 2013 at 18:03 #

    Is a Troy Horse full of Cosmo brainwashing.
    It is my personal believe.
    Just the covers… with that Mr. Musculo men… too gay.

    Penthouse it is a real men magazine.

    Like

  7. JNorth July 25, 2013 at 18:07 #

    From both my personal experiences and broader studies I’ve read (I’ll see if I can find them tonight) the pay and promotion increases are due to married guys being pretty much required to get them. Even if you just want to maintain the same standard of living you had before marriage wives, let along kids, most always cost more then they bring in. Also, the promotion study was based on Naval Officers, the Navy (actually all the Military) has traditionally be reluctant to promote unmarried officers very far.

    All the studies I’ve seen on life expectancy lumps divorced me with never married men. Divorced men live significantly less then married or never married men (look at male suicide rates for a significant part of that reduction in life expectancy). Never married men tend to live the longest once you get past the 20s to early 30s where men tend to die doing stupid things to get women.

    Like

  8. Liz July 25, 2013 at 18:21 #

    “A woman who doesn’t like Jane Austen?

    That is a woman to avoid. She will never pierce your soul. She may leave you in agony, but never in hope. She is best left behind with her cat and her Scum Manifesto. But it’s early yet to despair. The continuing popularity of Jane Austen and her beautiful stories suggests there are LOTS of women who value love and companionship and the enduring loyalty and comfort of a happy marriage.”

    Well said! And I, for one, absolutely adore Jane Austen. 🙂

    Like

  9. Alex July 25, 2013 at 18:22 #

    can we please dump all these bitches on some island for a while? i’m hoping their influence would decrease without them to keep the stream going everyday

    Like

  10. Liz July 25, 2013 at 18:50 #

    “4. Satisfy You in Bed
    I call bullshit. Reports from friends is that wives stop trying the moment the ring is on the finger.”

    Well, “friends” who “report” to you about their married sex life probably aren’t among the happiest of married individuals. I believe it’s probably roughly true that 99 percent of the married men who complain to their single friends about not getting sex aren’t getting sex. A guy who brags about how his wife fellates him regularly to you probably has homosexual tendencies. Just sayin.

    JNorth, I know plenty of people who aren’t married in the USAF who obtain high levels of promotion. But the wife helps the promotion process a lot (she does a LOT of unpaid work, which keeps the home front happy and stable, which is extremely important during times of deployment, more often than not these days…alternately she might make a lot of people miserable and adversely impact promotion potential, works both ways).

    Like

  11. zykos July 25, 2013 at 20:09 #

    While you can’t established causation one way or the other with those stats, this fact alone throws away the credibility of these points. I can illustrate with golf:

    Studies will probably show men playing golf earn substantially more than those who don’t. Men who play golf also have nicer cars and clothes, and more likely to have substantial savings, life insurance and even, a boat. Finally, men playing golf are more likely to live longer.

    Does it mean playing golf will suddenly make your life that much better? I’m sure even people at Men’s Health won’t risk the ridicule of saying such a thing.

    Like

  12. judgybitch July 25, 2013 at 20:21 #

    So men who are already happy and healthy and sexually voracious and ambitious are more likely to be happily married?

    Hmmm

    Interesting. That might very well be true.

    Like

  13. Cadders July 25, 2013 at 20:22 #

    From personal experience I can verify that sex can indeed tend to dry up once that ring is on the finger. And that was in a marriage that was otherwise very good – we are talking about shared laugh out loud moments nearly every day. But sex about 8 times a year.

    It took about 2 years of applying the red pill before I realised that the ways I had been socialised to behave towards my wife were simply killing her attraction triggers. It took my wife another three years to finally relinquish her socialisation and be true to her feminine nature. Sex is now back. Hugely.

    And that makes EVERYTHING better.

    I would pause before dismissing discussion of how widespread this problem is. When the opportunity arises I try to lead my male co-workers to the red pill. Two of the 3 men I work with have admitted to me that they are in a sexless marriage. I refuse to belief this is unusual.

    The men are certainly unhappy, but the wives too are living half a life. The problem is, we all suffered the same socialisation so I suspect large numbers of couples find themselves in the same place my wife and I were in. But how many find the red pill and work on the solution? Growing numbers I think, but still dwarfed by the numbers who simply blame their partner, give up, and move on.

    Sweeping away real pain with a broad sweep of the brush isn’t helping. If you have lived the truth of the red pill, you should do what ever you can to educate.

    All IMO, of course.

    Like

  14. Bob Wallace July 25, 2013 at 20:24 #

    “4. Your wife will take over the entire living space and declare it hers.”

    My father once told me that as long as he had his recliner, the remote and the TV my mother could have the rest of the house.

    Like

  15. judgybitch July 25, 2013 at 20:25 #

    Sounds like he picked his battles.

    Like

  16. zykos July 25, 2013 at 20:35 #

    I’m not saying it is necessarily so, and maybe there is a genetic sequence responsible for both success and love of golf. It is however much more probable that, just like for marriage, the causality runs the other way.

    Like

  17. judgybitch July 25, 2013 at 20:38 #

    I would love to see the results of a survey that take into account traditional gender roles. I know that the more traditional couples have more sex on average, but I’d like to see the actual data.

    I suspect there is a big spread that only appears small when averaged.

    I’d say my husband and I average about ten times a week. Compare that to twice a month dual income couples and the average will appear to be 5 times a week.

    But it’s bullshit.

    Like

  18. Goober July 25, 2013 at 21:18 #

    I get way more sex married than I ever did single. That being said, my data points are probably not that useful, since I met my wife when I was eighteen, and have been faithful to her ever since. So it isn’t exactly like I had a huge number of years to rack up the N count.

    Even when my wife went through a phase where her sex drive was next to nothing, I still got sex more than I would as a single man, I’d think. Unless I was a single man in a relationship, which is kind of the same thing, anyway. I’m assuming that they are talking specifically about playing the field vs. committed relationship here – I could be mistaken.

    Also, don’t discount the familiarity bonus. To a lot of guys, first-time sex, while exciting (is there anything more exciting than a new piece of tail? I don’t know, it’s been 15 years now…) is also pretty uncomfortable unless she is the “take charge” type. If she’s expecting you to lead, it can be pretty nerve-wracking to some. There’s some pretty good comfort in familiarity. I had a guy tell me the other day that he was banging a new chick and she started having sex with his foot – he was all “what the fuck?” and went along with it, but at least with a wife of 15 years, I know she’s not going to start making amorous moves towards my ambulatory appendages when I’m not expecting it…

    Also, I would be terrified of getting naked in front of a new gal now, since I have a pretty severe case of psoriasis over a good portion of my body, and it looks simply awful. I would imagine that taking to time to explain that the red, flaking, bleeding lesions all over my body “aren’t contagious, so don’t worry about them,” would be a pretty big mood-killer for most women. Also, the arthritis that came with the psoriasis has lead me to less physical activity, causing me to be in less than the peak physical condition I was in the last time I got naked in front of a stranger, so there’s that, too.

    Like

  19. Goober July 25, 2013 at 21:19 #

    In any case, the point of your post was to point out that feminists, once again, hate women. Jane Austen wrote books about women who knew what would make them happy, and followed their hearts to fulfilling their dream (and finding subsequent happiness therein). Feminists don’t like what those women chose to make them happy, and so feminists hate these women and would rather that they had chosen something that would have made them less happy, simply so that they could live a “more approved” lifestyle (as approved by feminism, of course). Better to be miserable and approved than happy and living the unapproved lifestyle.

    REDUCTION in choice, not expansion of it.

    Feminists would rather that you didn’t do what makes you happy. They would rather that you are unhappy, as long as you do what they approve of you doing. Pretty damned hateful towards women.

    Like

  20. LostSailor July 25, 2013 at 21:25 #

    I’ll have to remember the Jane Austen test. My ex didn’t read Austen, though she did read crappy romance novels–I know, I know. As long as I don’t have to read it; tried wading through Sense and Sensibility once, and it was hard going. Maybe I’ll try the one with the zombies.

    Anecdotally, over the many years of my marriage, sex definitely declined pretty early on. I initially set it down to other factors–such as my father-in-law dying a month after we were married and the father of her close friends a month after that. It leveled off for a few years, and then a gradual decline punctuated by infrequent bursts of passion. I was becoming pretty blue pill during those years. By the end, sex was pretty nonexistent. If only I knew then what I know now.

    And of course, what should pop up in my RSS news feed moments ago? An article (the first of many, I’m sure) calling for ditching some of those dead white guys on US currency in favor of the ladies, specifically Shirley Chisholm or Sandra Day O’Connor. And so the shit-show shall start…

    Like

  21. Marlo Rocci July 25, 2013 at 21:37 #

    promotion is really tied to hours of the day you spend at work. If you’re a single guy safely meeting your own needs, the desire to overwork is much less than a guy who is worrying about sending his kids to college or keep his wife from divorcing him and taking his house. I know one guy who would work really late just to stay away from his wife. It worked, he got promoted due to all his extra work..

    Like

  22. Anon Ymus July 25, 2013 at 21:42 #

    Or he was just correct. Who needs the other parts of the house anyway?

    Like

  23. AnonymousBosch July 25, 2013 at 21:47 #

    I’ve always joked that Men’s Health functions as Plausible Deniability Gay Porn, so any articles about ‘great sex’ involving women should be taken with a grain of salt.

    I used to flip through it at my Dentist’s. If you study it closer, it does function much in the same way as women’s magazines: articles are created around products to be sold, no-doubt after receiving financial renumeration from the product promoter.

    Basically: the fit, successful man the closet masturbators who read it aspire to be requires this brand of heart rate monitor or watch. Read the smaller text at the bottom of the layout and they’re $500 or $3000. Aspire via consumption. If you buy enough stuff, you’ll be happy.

    The freelance promoters also hype various food products, and are largely why certain foods go in and out of fashion, such as the entirely-worthless Goji Berry.

    Like

  24. AnonymousBosch July 25, 2013 at 21:49 #

    The Doctor Who fangirls have decided he needs to be black – and based upon the fact that Irdis Alba is ‘sexy’, they want it to be him.

    I miss when the Doctor was a crotchety-old knowledgeable Grandfather figure instead of an Autistic misfit, but we’ll never get that again because PATRIARCHY!

    Like

  25. Spaniard July 25, 2013 at 21:56 #

    Now I am in a relationship with a charming and very attractive woman in her forties, mother of a grown up daughter, I have no responsibility at all to the daughter and I get along with her. She does not want to have more children, although, biologically she still can, so, she is not going to ball bust with that issue… she allows me going with hookers because she is bisexual so, she enjoys hookers herself…
    This is any mans dream.

    Fuck you, feminists!

    Like

  26. Goober July 25, 2013 at 21:57 #

    Letting the fire go out in your marriage is unfortunately an all-too easy mistake to make. I caught myself making it a few years back, as I’ve discussed on this site before. We’re getting back to normal, though – in no small part, I think it was because she went back on the pill after we had the baby, and it was screwing her up somehow, because she’s off the pill now and things are pretty good.

    The biggest mistake I see guys making is that they don’t treat their wives as equals – they either genuflect to them or bully them. One of the guys I work with, when asked if he wanted to go fishing with me last weekend, told me that he’d never get permission from his wife to go.

    Permission?

    Fucking permission?

    When I good-naturedly tossed him a ration of shit over that, he told me that he wasn’t one of those guys that told his wife that he was going, and if she didn’t like it, she can go fly a kite.

    Of course, there is a huge gap between telling your wife you’re going fishing whether she likes it or not, and asking for her permission to go fishing. One extreme removes the team aspect of a marriage entirely. The other does so in the opposite direction. Both are good ways to see a marriage to failure.

    Like

  27. Spaniard July 25, 2013 at 22:00 #

    Is not your case, good for you, but in Spain we say, FOLLAS MENOS QUE UN CASADO!
    You shag less than a married man.

    Like

  28. Goober July 25, 2013 at 22:01 #

    I’d say my husband and I average about ten times a week.

    Fucking hell – his eyes must be pulling back into his skull at this point. The guy must be constantly dehydrated…

    Like

  29. Spaniard July 25, 2013 at 22:03 #

    Magazine for retards.

    Like

  30. David July 25, 2013 at 22:10 #

    There was a study in Sweden recently that showed that couples have more sex if they have different roles. They didn’t qualify these roles as traditional or not but you can be sure that in most cases they were.

    Like

  31. Goober July 25, 2013 at 22:12 #

    Brilliant. I agree 100%. I think that there is a causation/correlation mix up happening here. Ad hoc, ergo propter hoc, as they say in that fancy ejumacated talk…

    Are successful men more likely to be happily married? Or are happily married men more likely to be successful? Maybe, just maybe, successful people are just more successful at stuff; and not just work-related stuff*, but all the other stuff, too. Like marriage, for instance. Maybe there isn’t any causation at all, but just correlation.

    I agree, the definitive statements made by “Men’s Health” are misleading at best, and exposing an agenda at worst.

    *As an aside, I’ve never figured out why we separate what a person does at their job and what they do in their personal life, as if a man is two different people – one at his job, and one at home. I don’t know of very many people that were successful at their jobs, but failures in life, or successful in life, but failures at their jobs. In fact, I can’t think of any. It goes to a further separation in our minds between work lives and home lives that JB has brought up here before, too:

    Why, for instance, is it okay in feminist circles for a woman to professionally cook meals for other people, but not to professionally cook meals for her family? What’s the difference?

    Like

  32. feeriker July 25, 2013 at 22:16 #

    Jane Austen … Understood Economics

    That being the case, I’d much rather see her honored with her image on a gold or silver coin (or a gold or silver certificate) than on any of the ultimately worthless fiat currency scrip issued by any of the world’s current governments.

    Like

  33. Goober July 25, 2013 at 22:18 #

    JNorth – Agreed. There definitely is a motivational aspect to having a group of people that you love, who are wholly dependent on you to support them.

    Like

  34. feeriker July 25, 2013 at 22:25 #

    “4. Your wife will take over the entire living space and declare it hers.”

    Fine. Since she now “owns” it, she and she alone is now responsible for CLEANING IT.

    Like

  35. feeriker July 25, 2013 at 22:34 #

    An article (the first of many, I’m sure) calling for ditching some of those dead white guys on US currency in favor of the ladies, specifically Shirley Chisholm or Sandra Day O’Connor. And so the shit-show shall start…

    As a flip-side to what I said above, I’m all for creatures like Shirley Chisholm, Sandra Day O’Conner, or Hitlery Clinton “gracing” American currency. Given that these pieces of paper were issued by a criminal syndicate (known in the vernacular as “The Fed”), are backed by nothing whatsoever of any intrinsic value, and that the three “women” named here served as key players within a system that has perpetuated America’s 100-year-long economic slow death, I think it’s perfectly fitting that their likenesses should be emblazoned on what passes for its “currency.”

    The only drawback is that according to current law, only dead people can be pictured on U.S. currency, meaning that we’ll have to wait a little while for Sandy and Hil’s portraits to make their debut on the national scrip notes.

    Like

  36. judgybitch July 25, 2013 at 23:26 #

    It’s one of the key benefits to the life we live, I think. Sure, my husband could be making three times the salary in a bigger urban center. Who cares? What are we going to buy with that, when the only thing worth having, really, is time.

    Our mornings are not a mad rush to get out of the house. And morning sex is such a lovely way to wake up. We don’t collapse into bed every night exhausted, and sex is a nice way to end the day, too.

    We’re getting older, granted, so twice a day every day is a bit much for either one of us. But when you’re not tired, rushed, pre-occupied, worried, stressed – all the miseries of modern life, then yeah.

    There’s lots of time to spend in bed. And we do. As my husband says, “what the hell else is there to do in this town?”

    Seriously though, what else do you WANT to do?

    Like

  37. hollychism July 26, 2013 at 00:11 #

    Not an Austin fan, but my favorite novel of all time is Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte. It’s been my favorite for more than twenty years, now.

    Like

  38. LostSailor July 26, 2013 at 00:27 #

    The biggest mistake I see guys making is that they don’t treat their wives as equals – they either genuflect to them or bully them.

    Well, there’s equal and then there’s equal. There’s never true equality in a relationship or marriage; one partner is going to be more dominant, though it can change back and forth over time. Best is where complementary dominance is different facets of the relationship, allowing each partner their “sphere of influence.” This is how I see JB describe her marriage.

    There’s leading and there’s bullying. If your friend actually said he had to ask permission, then he’s likely doomed. But it’s common courtesy even in a marriage to consult with a spouse before agreeing to a fishing trip. I’d expect the same courtesy if a wife wanted to go on a weekend shopping trip with the girls.

    Like

  39. judgybitch July 26, 2013 at 00:44 #

    Yep.

    Well said.

    I’m not “asking for permission” ever. I might be asking “how do you feel about this”, or “how does this work with your plans” but never “may I?”

    Fuck that. I’m not a child, nor am I my husband’s mother.

    Courtesy is not the same as supplication.

    Like

  40. Liz July 26, 2013 at 00:53 #

    Lol!
    Yep, ten times a week beats even our high average (approx 7).

    Like

  41. Liz July 26, 2013 at 00:56 #

    I don’t want Hillary’s ugly mug on my currency.

    Just out of curiosity…what gives gold and/or silver its value?

    Like

  42. Goober July 26, 2013 at 02:28 #

    Of course I consult my wife before I go. But if afterwards if I don’t go it isn’t because she told me no. Its because she convinced me that it was best to stay. Like for instance pre existing plans I had forgotten about

    It goes both ways too. She goes and does girl stuff regularly and I don’t tell her not to without a good reason.

    Like

  43. Goober July 26, 2013 at 02:30 #

    I’ve told guys “let me talk to my wife” before committing to something before. Thats quite a bit different from asking permission from her.

    Like

  44. Feminism Is A Lie July 26, 2013 at 02:31 #

    No, the Doctor should be a gender-queer, disabled, PoC, biromantic asexual so that no one feels left out!

    Like

  45. Goober July 26, 2013 at 02:33 #

    Rarity. Demand. Inertness. Conductivity. Malleability. Shininess. Beauty. Desirability.

    Need I go on? Since caveman days both metals have had intrinsic value to humans.

    Like

  46. Sasha July 26, 2013 at 04:01 #

    Uh-oh. You want to be “rescued” by a handsome and mysterious older man? FOR SHAME. Traitor! Heretic!

    J/k. Jane is awesome, and so are Emily and Charlotte.

    Judgy, I happen to love Ensign Nellie Forbush from South Pacific. An American “career woman” who gives it all up to marry a Frenchman and become a mother to his two mixed-racial children. So un-feminist, I wonder why there hasn’t been more of a backlash.

    Of course, if somebody were singing “Some Enchanted Evening” as a wedding proposal, I’d be a puddle no matter what. 😀

    Like

  47. judgybitch July 26, 2013 at 05:09 #

    Oh, that’s bullshit.

    I saw what you did there!

    🙂

    Like

  48. judgybitch July 26, 2013 at 05:11 #

    Psoriasis? Meet stretch marks!

    I’ve long had this theory that women’s vanity is a function to promote fidelity. My tummy may be flat, but hot damn, is it crinkly! Thank you, babies!

    Nice to see it works for men, too.

    Like

  49. Sad Dutchman July 26, 2013 at 05:15 #

    “too gay.” – lol, wtf I just read.
    I far as I remember MH, it is a magazine mostly about fitness. How to lose fat, get more muscles for summer, healthy food and so on. Sex, fashion, hobbies are less important for them, because they are Men’s HEALTH. Thats why handsome muscled actors are on the cover – to show an example.
    If you want more “manly” magazine with boobs on the cover – yeah, buy Maxim/Playboy/Penthouse.

    And be more secure about you sexuality.

    Like

  50. judgybitch July 26, 2013 at 05:16 #

    Sailor,

    Try Persuasion

    Captain Wentworth is a sailor,too. I find the book is so different when I switch to his perspective. Imagine you are Wentworth. See Anne through his eyes.

    Captain Wentworth writes one of the most beautiful love letters ever composed, and it is drawn from the depths of his heart:

    You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it, eight and a half years ago. Dare not say that a man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you. Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant.

    Like

  51. Richard Ford July 26, 2013 at 05:18 #

    The real reason men appear on UK banknotes is that they are hairy and this makes the banknote hard to forge. You will note that almost every man chosen has a beard.

    Like

  52. judgybitch July 26, 2013 at 05:19 #

    Er, I’m not sure that would disqualify a lot of feminists.

    😛

    Like

  53. Joe Bloggs July 26, 2013 at 05:36 #

    A few points.

    1&2 : True but how much gets spent on thing a single man wouldn’t buy, for example, your house.

    3 : The vast majority of reported violent crime is committed by men between the ages of 16 & 25 against men between the ages of 16 & 25. Most of these men are not married. Marriage doesn’t protect you, maturity does.

    4 : They also found that unmarried men in LTR’s had a lot more sex than married men.

    5 : Single men over 30 have a higher life expectancy than divorced men.

    6 : Reading Men Health raises that eternal question ‘What fuckery is this?’. Also see 5.

    Most of the data showings marriage to be better for men comes from when most men got married and those that didn’t were usually of the lowest social economic class, hobos, criminals, retards etc. So the conclusions have to be taken with a bucket of salt.

    Like

  54. Spaniard July 26, 2013 at 07:53 #

    I am very secure. That is why I am totally pro homosexual marriage. In Spain we have it since 2005. I think in Holland you have it since before.
    I think big muscle is not healthy neither attractive to women. In a few years all that muscles will be fat.
    I think swimmer type is much more attractive.

    Like

  55. Spaniard July 26, 2013 at 07:56 #

    Courtesy is not the same as supplication.

    Tell that to all that women who think that being polite to them is being bland and weak.

    Like

  56. feeriker July 26, 2013 at 08:00 #

    Thank you, Goober. You took the words right off of my fingertips.

    Precious metals such as gold and silver (and to a lesser extent platinum) have been used as currency for most of human history due to their scarcity relative to the demand for them. They retain their value over the long term due to this relative scarcity (a one ounce pure gold coin from the Roman Republican era, for example, is still valuable as a medium of exchange in its own right due to the fact that the gold from which it is rendered is still a valuable commodity at its current weight and purity level).

    Paper/digital currency, on the other hand, currencies that are no longer backed by anything of intrinsic value, are highly susceptible to inflation (the U.S. dollar has lost 95 percent of its purchasing power in the last one hundred years, most of this occurring since Richard Nixon unilaterally severed the dollar’s last ties to the gold standard in 1971).

    This explains why I not only have NO problem with someone like Hitlery Clinton’s vomit-inducing mug “gracing” a $1000 bill (in not many year’s hence, mepredicts, these being as common as increasingly worthless $10.00 notes are today), but think that it and other mugs of her political generation BELONG on these notes.

    Like

  57. Exfernal July 26, 2013 at 08:59 #

    One wonders whether more cases of
    karoshi were married or single…

    Like

  58. Ray in London July 26, 2013 at 10:22 #

    “Marriage. That’s what Jane Austen stands for, and it is something modern feminists hate with a passion.”

    I would have preferred Winston Churchill to be on the ten pound note and Jane Austen on the five because:

    a) there are more tens in circulation than fives (http://www.bankofengland.co.uk/publications/Documents/quarterlybulletin/qb100405.pdf on page 302)

    b) Churchill is one of the greatest Britons of all time, a description that cannot be applied with quite the same weight to Jane Austen and

    c) Churchill could have replaced Darwin on the ten and Austen replace Fry on the five.

    However, in view of Jane Austen being evidently so pro-male, it seems entirely possible that the new ten pound note bearing her face will act as a reminder to the whole world (Britain at least) that not all women hold a disparaging attitude towards men.

    Could it be that the new ten pound note displaying Jane Austen will become another part of the arsenal in the fight back against feminism?

    Like

  59. Master Beta July 26, 2013 at 10:57 #

    Main problem with MH is the whole magazine is just an advert for buying useless stuff nobody needs.

    Like

  60. Master Beta July 26, 2013 at 10:58 #

    6. Help You Live Longer

    Animals in captivity live longer than wild animals. It’s true.

    Like

  61. Master Beta July 26, 2013 at 11:14 #

    With regards to who has more sex – single or married – I believe it goes like this:

    Married men get more sex than single men.
    Cohabiting unmarried couples get more sex than cohabiting married couples.

    But you must remember, this pool of singles includes the “sexual market place losers” as Roissey would call them. People who no one wants to marry nor have sex with. To get a fair comparison, it’s probably best to compare before and after marriage and also after divorce. I’m willing to bet that when people divorce they have more sex, but wouldn’t use this as some argument for divorce.

    Also unmarried cohabitors are probably younger than married couples on average, this could be a reason for married couples having less sex than cohabiting couples.

    All in all, my general observation would be that it makes no frickin difference whether you’re married or not. You can have lots of sex or no sex as a single man. You can have lots of sex or no sex as a married man.

    Basically, if you’re single and you’re not getting any, getting married is not going to fix that.

    Like

  62. Spaniard July 26, 2013 at 11:37 #

    Extremely masculine archetypes are single: Jesus, James Bond, Sherlock Holmes, Dr. House, Casanova… I do not know what the hell is so bad about being male, certain age, and single. Used to be very cool before femininazism. Now, if you are 40 and single you are authomatically a slob.
    I laugh to death.
    The explanation is very simple: feminazi women do not want men to be free. So they prefer to see any man married to an harpy than a single man. A man married to an harpy has dignity, according to feminazi agenda, but a happy man single is a pathetic loser.

    Like

  63. Spaniard July 26, 2013 at 11:45 #

    This is a true story which happened to me last year.
    I was fancying a very attractive blonde fortysomething, me being fortysomething too.
    And she asked me WHY I was single. She told me that was very weird and suspicious.
    Then I told her she was single too. And she ansewered me: “It is different, I am divorced”.
    So… It is easy to see the game. “Divorced” is like a glamour title to women. That is why they are craving to divorce once they are just married.

    Like

  64. Liz July 26, 2013 at 12:13 #

    Goober, you might want to look into allergy testing, or just try to eliminate certain foods (wheat and dairy, especially wheat, are common allergy triggers) and see if that helps you. Try it for at least a week, better for two or three. Sounds like there is some inflammation going on, and it can’t be cured topically. I’ve seen cases so bad the doctors recommended cortisone injections (steriods reduce inflammation), but they never seem to recommend diet changes, which are often the real fix (I knew a woman who took her baby to just about every pediatrician in the city, he had psoriasis all over his body and the doctors just kept giving her useless salves until she found a homeopathic doctor, changed her diet so the wheat was no longer in her milk, and the baby’s condition was cured completely in a week).

    People often discover their allergy triggers when they go on ‘cleansing’ and/or diets where they eat only one of two things in particular (like the lemon juice diet, egg-only diet, ect). Sometimes they think the food they were eating was the fix rather than the elimination of the allergen (“something in eggs must have cured my acne!”, ect). I hope it helps you! Gluten free is a pain in the @ss, but worth it if you’re a sufferer.

    Like

  65. Liz July 26, 2013 at 12:17 #

    Just to add, it will probably ameliorate and/or cure your arthritis too (it’s all the product of inflammation).

    Like

  66. Liz July 26, 2013 at 13:07 #

    Rarity- True. But gold and silver are so rare it would be incredibly difficult to use them as a functional currency. Impossible in an economy the size of ours (there isn’t enough of the stuff on earth).

    Inertness- There are plenty of other inert elements, usually cheaper and therefore more cost effective to use in large quantity, especially if we required it to back our currency.

    Conductivity- See inertness above, same principle applies.

    Malleability- See above

    Shininess. Beauty. Desirability.-see above

    Demand- ding ding ding. This one pretty much encompasses the rest. Supply/demand curve, just like everything else (including fiat currency). What would happen to that demand curve if the US government suddenly had to back all its money in gold? (which again, couldn’t be done with the supply we known to man on the planet presently) Huge upward demand=much more expensive gold. We can currently exchange our currency for gold anyway, any time we want. I can go out and buy gold Krugerrands right now.

    I’m most curious how we would go about buying it to back our currency…if debt is the problem with fiat, what the heck are we going to buy all that gold with? Effectively, we’d double our debt (assuming the quantity exists and price remains stationary, I’m pretty sure that’s a pipedream once the word gets out America is hording gold ). And gold/silver certainly do fluctuate even without that mass demand of government…case in point, gold and silver (when adjusted for inflation) still haven’t reached the highs they were at in the late 70s/early 80s.

    And finally, metal-backed currency is only as good as the word of the country that backs it to remain true to the standard. If we can’t trust the government’s word to back the value of its fiat currency how could you trust the same government to back the currency when it’s gold-backed? Merely because it is supposed to be gold-backed? I can, you can, we all can, currently exchange our currency for gold. I could go out and buy gold Krugerrands right now with my computer bite money (bares mentioning that the vast majority of our money is in computer bites, not actual paper/cotton pulp).

    Like

  67. Liz July 26, 2013 at 13:51 #

    @MR: “I know one guy who would work really late just to stay away from his wife. It worked, he got promoted due to all his extra work..”

    Ouch.

    Henry Ford quote: “Where people work longest and with least leisure, they buy the fewest goods. No towns were so poor as those of England where the people, from children up, worked fifteen and sixteen hours a day. They were poor because these overworked people soon wore out — they became less and less valuable as workers. Therefore, they earned less and less and could buy less and less.”

    Like

  68. Goober July 26, 2013 at 14:34 #

    Psoriasis is a genetic condition. It has nothing to do with allergies.

    Like

  69. Liz July 26, 2013 at 15:00 #

    Allergies can be genetic also. And acne.
    It’s your skin and body…your call, but I would try it if i were you. I just told you I know of cases where psoriasis has been cured and I have no reason to lie to you.

    Like

  70. Liz July 26, 2013 at 15:08 #

    FWIW, it cured my acne as well. Acne is caused by an organism called Propionibacterium acnes. It can be cured using antibiotics. However, acne itself is an inflammatory response and some p acnes is a part of the normal flora in human skin…not everyone responds to it the way acne sufferers do. Increased inflammation causes a lot of problems, especially in joints and skin (everywhere really).

    Like

  71. Exfernal July 26, 2013 at 15:47 #

    The advice from Liz was not bad.

    Well, how solid was the original diagnosis? Rash by itself could be a symptom of a variety of afflictions.

    For many possible minor metabolic disorders all what it takes is an over-accumulation of some normally harmless substance that, in sufficient amounts (because it is not broken down as fast as it should), could become a trigger for inflammation or make the skin oversensitive to sun rays.

    Some way of minimizing your symptoms could be found without any reliance on homeopathy (which for me makes no sense at all).

    Like

  72. Goober July 26, 2013 at 16:43 #

    You’re about the 50th person that has suggested this. You’d think I’d have given it a shot by now.

    BTW, psoriasis can’t be ‘cured” but it can be put into remission by eliminating triggers. Since allergies are inflammatory conditions, I guess the more i think about it, the more it makes sense that while they aren’t the cause of the psoriasis/psoriatic arthirtis, they could certainly be a trigger.

    I could stand to lose some weight anyway. Perhaps a call to a nutritionist is in order…

    Like

  73. Goober July 26, 2013 at 17:02 #

    Exfernal – the common misconception about psoriasis is that it is a rash caused by internal topic irritants (like ecsema) or an internal allergy.

    What it is is an immune disease. It is the same thing as arthritis and crone’s disease – an out–of-whack immune response causing inflammation in certain areas of the body. What you’re seeing on my skin isn’t a rash – it’s my body’s attempt to heal a wound that isn’t there. Essentially, it is a healing response, with nothing to heal. Overproduction of skin cells leads to a raised, red, flaky area that resembles a rash, but that’s not what it is.

    Like

  74. LostSailor July 26, 2013 at 17:53 #

    I’ll consider it. Does anything explode it in…?

    Like

  75. judgybitch July 26, 2013 at 18:03 #

    Well, Anne’s heart, on a number of occasions.

    There’s the death of a sailor at sea. And a dislocated collar bone. A head smashed open, and the tragic loss of a young lady who is waiting for her love to come home.

    A racy sex angle with the younger cock in the farmyard snatching away the Rooster’s pretty young hen.

    Dead spouses everywhere!

    Goodness, I never really thought about all this stuff, but it’s there!

    Maiming, blood, bones, and everyone wearing mourning!

    And of course, the Captain has made his fortune as a legal pirate. His best friend sustained a pretty serious injury in one of the skirmishes over Spanish Gold, so one can guess the high seas robbery was occasionally dangerous.

    Sadly, no explosions though.

    Like

  76. Alex July 26, 2013 at 18:13 #

    there’s a lot of gold in the ocean

    Like

  77. Goober July 26, 2013 at 21:56 #

    Don’t get me wrong. I’m not arguing that we should go back on the gold standard, I’m just answering the question you asked.

    I honestly don’t have an opinion about whether we should go back to the gold standard or if we should not. The thing is, fiat currency works just fine as long as the government doesn’t actively work to inflate it like ours has for the last 50 years. The gold standard disallows that, but at the same time, it also does not account for the fact that there isn’t enough gold to back the net wealth of our country, and so we’d be using a fiat system, anyway, by backing wealth that currently exists with gold that doesn’t, or else “vanish” that wealth altogether.

    So yeah… nothing’s perfect. I think we’ve pretty much established that at this point.

    Like

  78. Paul Murray July 27, 2013 at 07:11 #

    “A Virginia Commonwealth University study found that married men earn 22 percent more than their similarly experienced but single colleagues. Married men receive higher performance ratings and faster promotions than bachelors, a 2005 study of U.S. Navy officers reported.”

    I think someone is confusing cause an effect, here. This correlation does not necessarily mean that getting married causes you to make more money.

    Like

  79. Sylvine July 27, 2013 at 10:01 #

    I am actually appalled by the fact that Darwin gets replaced at all, not by whom or why or whom it will appease and who will fail to be satisfied.

    I mean, it’s goddamn Darwin, FFS. Jane Austen is all great and all, but she’s… just no Darwin. One has written some good literature, the other has REVOLUTIONIZED THE WHOLE FIELD OF BIOLOGY.

    Ahem. [/rant over]

    Like

  80. princesspixiepointless July 27, 2013 at 10:03 #

    I completely agree, I felt Austen would be all sweet, then realised we’d lose Darwin. Waaaah!!!!

    Like

  81. Luke July 28, 2013 at 04:54 #

    Comment here on the “married men have more sex than single men”…

    While overall this is true, there is a group of single men who have WAY (like >3x) as much sex as do married men. Those are the cohabitating men. Certainly, if a wife sews up up the old vag and throws away the kneepads, it’s a much bigger PITA (and probably much more expensive) to kick her out than just a shack-up chick. Easier yet, of course, to get rid of one a guy’s not cohabbing with; he just never calls her again and deletes her texts/emails on sight & unread.

    I have no doubt all but the dimmest of women understand all this perfectly well.

    Like

  82. The Spideron July 28, 2013 at 17:37 #

    I appreciate that Jane Austen was a gifted writer, but is she really the best that feminists can do when arguing for a little more female presence on our banknotes? A storyteller? Personally, I would argue for Edward Jenner who, thanks to his smallpox vaccination, has saved more lives than any other human being. My other choice would be Sir Joseph Bazalgette, the man who created the London sewer system and turned it into a much cleaner place. Were it not for his tireless efforts, most cities in the United Kingdom (and, indeed, Europe) would be drowning in human waste. But I don’t suppose these two remarkable individuals are good enough, as far as the bra-burners are concerned, given that they had a y-chromosome.

    Like

  83. Luke July 29, 2013 at 04:35 #

    Good choices, Spideron.

    Given how 180 degrees from truth/justice/logic things are now, I nominate Rachel Carson for the U.K. banknotes. For the hokey lynching of DDT manufacture and use she aided, easily more people in the Third World have died in the past several decades from otherwise-preventably malaria than died in Nazi concentration camps, arguably approaching the numbers that died in all of World War Two. For those who oppose abortion, the woman plaintiff in Roe. vs. Wade would do as aptly.

    Like

  84. Take Back Your Face! July 29, 2013 at 04:58 #

    ” Those are the cohabitating men. Certainly, if a wife sews up up the old vag and throws away the kneepads”

    Studies have shown that cunninlingus, not fellatio, is the oral sex du jour for the shacked up.

    Like

  85. Luke May 6, 2014 at 09:51 #

    Several suspicions here…

    1) About the “married men earn more money”, that’s not a benefit, but a description. They HAVE to earn more money, so they take less pleasant jobs (more night work, more travel, more dangerous, etc.), work more hours, and so on. Lots of fun while single ends for men at marriage.

    2) More than a few marriages are close to sexless. Something like 40% are once a month or less. (Most men under 65 or so want DAILY sex, so that means that their wives are holding up, oh, less than 3% of the bargain in that area.)

    You know who always has an active sex life? Hetero couples who cohabitate. (She gets a 3-month-duration “headache”, he’s gone, and no guilt about it.)

    Like

  86. Paul Murray September 22, 2014 at 08:00 #

    Who masturbates in a closet?

    Like

  87. Paul Murray September 22, 2014 at 08:00 #

    Who masturbates in a closet? Way to ruin your suit.

    Like

  88. Mailbanger January 31, 2015 at 10:43 #

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