You know, I’ve always prided myself on NOT being one of “those women”. The ones who care deeply about their social status and who adore marking out their class affiliations with their shoes and bags and clothes and lipstick cases. The ones who strut around in absurdly expensive stilettos, swinging the latest “must-have purse” from PraGucciNel, touching up their pouts with Chanel or whatever have you.
I like to sneer at those ladies for being so superficial and shallow and not understanding that men don’t generally give a shit what kind of shoes you wear or how many thousands of dollars you sank into a sack to carry your tampons and trashy novels.
I’m so above all that nonsense. I’m so much deeper and more nuanced. I’m very practical and would never waste money on that kind of inanity.
Oops.
Wrong.
I came across this research announcement today, to be published in a forthcoming edition of the Journal of Consumer Behavior, and interestingly enough, I’ve quoted this guy before without realizing it. He also wrote on how the ovulatory cycle influences women’s voting behavior.
http://pss.sagepub.com/content/24/6/1007
Marketing was not one of my favorite subjects in MBA school. Actually, none of my classes came even close to approaching anything I would consider “interesting”, but I was there for my MRS degree, so it hardly mattered.
http://judgybitch.com/2012/11/03/i-went-to-mba-school-to-get-my-mrs-degree-and-it-worked/
I do recall paying a slight bit of attention to the segment on marketing luxury goods, which was all about creating associations between certain products and aspirational goals. Buy this, and people will think you are rich/cool/successful/popular/blah blah blah.
Women, in particular, were seen as being exceptionally vulnerable to falling for the idea that they could signal their social status with luxury goods. Shopping is all part of a ploy to attract the highest status mate. The more valuable you appear to be, the more he will pursue you as something of value. Something worth having.
Peacocks, Porsches, and Thorstein Veblen: Conspicuous Consumption as a Sexual Signaling System
http://www.csom.umn.edu/assets/165659.pdf
Obviously, I am way, way, way above such immature posturing, and even more obviously, I am valuable in and of myself, and have no need to buy fancy shoes to get men to pursue me.
That is what my ass is for.
Interestingly enough, the researcher I have quoted once before, and will explain in more detail in a moment was also an author on the Peacocks and Porsches study. Busy guy. His name is Vladas Griskevicius, and he works out of the University of Minnesota. I have a soft spot for Minnesota. I love Minnesota. That is a state that feels like home.
So, in this new research Vladas explores how luxury goods do NOT function as a strategy to ATTRACT male mates. Quite the opposite. Fancy shoes and purses function to DETER other women from eyeing up your man and planning a little mate theft.
Men don’t notice what handbag you carry. Women do. And the assumption is that an expensive handbag was given to you by an excellent provider. And what do women want?
A provider.
Let’s take a detour here for a moment and look at the modern woman’s mate selection double bind. She wants a provider and a leader, but she also wants a cooperative partner who will let HER take the lead when it comes to getting what she wants.
Oh my god, have you seen this chick, who doesn’t get to go to the lake? She has a full on tantrum worthy of any over-tired toddler clutching an Elmo doll in the toy aisle at Walmart. She has apparently filed for divorce from her husband, who was “bullying her”. Dude, be thankful. You have dodged a giant bullet. My husband and I watched this clip over and over again, laughing hysterically.
It’s completely, hilariously, disturbingly captivating. Who does this? Whitney, apparently. Now when I want something and Mr. JB has some qualms or does not immediately comply, I have a new strategy to encourage cooperation.
Me: Can you grab me the eggs?
Mr.JB: Do I have to do everything?
Me: Oh, just get them.
Mr. JB: Turn around! The fridge is right behind you!
Me: Take me to the lake! I wanna go to the lake! Why can’t you do what I want? Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
It’s just too much. You really must watch Whitney lose her shit.
Ok, so modern women are caught in this double bind. I’ll let Dr. Jeremy Nicholson explain it in more detail:
Socially, today’s woman is encouraged, empowered (and perhaps expected) to do it all. This, in itself, often causes extreme stress for the “super woman” and “super mom.” Social norms tell her she is expected to succeed in work, run her home, raise the perfect children, and be attractive and chipper too. It is a tall order. It is also an order that requires women to be intelligent, motivated, powerful, and in control.
Given those social instructions, women are motivated to “choose” men for how well they mesh with their life plan, goals, and ideals. Essentially then, some women choose to “attach” to men who are cooperative, agreeable, supportive, and often take their lead in areas the woman finds important. From a cultural standpoint, men who are categorized as “disagreeable,” “opinionated,” or expect women to “acquiesce” may be considered unappealing as “attachment” partners.
Unfortunately, however, many of those “culturally undesirable” male traits are similar and overlapping with the traits that are biologically “attractive.” Although not always true, often the man who is intelligent, high status, and ambitious will be unlikely to take a back seat, follow, and submit in a romantic relationship. Generally speaking, men who have “leadership characteristics” may want to lead in many situations.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201203/why-women-cant-find-good-man
Men who are compliant and willing to follow the orders of their own little screaming Whitney’s are preferred for their utility, but it’s the take-no-shit-of-any-kind cowboys who gets the motor running. What is a gal to do? According to Jeremy, she has four choices:
1. She can learn how to love leading the Nice Guy. Yeah, that should work out in the long run.
2. She will learn to follow wisely, and choose her leader carefully. This one makes sense.
3. She can used a “mixed mate” strategy, keeping compliant hubby at home while fucking the hot cowboy on the side. Seems to be an increasingly popular option.
4. She can find a balance, creating a life in which she leads in one area and he leads in another and they don’t mess with each other’s domains. This is how my life works. I’m the housewife and I am in charge of (almost) everything domestic, unless it is icky or gross, like garbage or unclogging drains. Hair in drains makes me want to puke. Really. My stomach feels all queasy and jumpy. So disgusting.
At the end of the day, no matter what the culture and theory TELLS women, they want traditional, leader, breadwinner husbands.
And sometimes, they want someone ELSE’S traditional, leader, breadwinner husband.
http://goodmenproject.com/marriage-2/mate-poaching-why-women-want-married-men/
How does a married lady deal with these mate-poaching little vixens? The tried and true “shove her off a bridge” method tends to be frowned upon in today’s namby-pamby liberal climate, but it turns out there IS one very effective way to send a signal to interlopers that they had best watch their backs:
Luxury goods
The assumption is that when a woman sports luxury products, her mate provided her with those things. Luxury goods signal that HE values her very highly, and the wanna-be Wife 2.0 had better bring a better game than Wife 1.0 if she wants a shot at the prize.
“The feeling that a relationship is being threatened by another woman automatically triggers women to want to flash Gucci, Chanel, and Fendi to other women,” PhD student Yajin Wang said. “A designer handbag or a pair of expensive shoes seems to work like a shield, where wielding a Fendi handbag successfully fends off romantic rivals.”
“When a woman is flaunting designer products, it says to other women ‘back off my man,’” Griskevicius said.
http://minnesota.cbslocal.com/2013/07/25/u-study-woman-buy-expensive-gear-to-ward-off-rivals/
I have a very few number of luxury products, and if I think about them honestly, that is exactly the function they serve. I tell myself, “oh, a Coach handbag is just a good investment”, but really, that’s total bullshit. Leather is pretty sturdy stuff. There is no need to spend $400 on a purse, when $50 will get you something just as sturdy and reliable and enduring.
The value lies in the signal it sends to OTHER WOMEN.
Back off, bitch.
I have this classic Coach Stewardess bag. It is the ONLY purse I own. I also have a pair of very expensive UGG boots.
And some absurdly expensive yoga pants.
My engagement ring is another signal to women that I take any threats against invaders fairly seriously, although I have done a good job arguing that, oh gosh, I never cared about such things. I’m far too sophisticated and impervious to cultural conditioning to care about “that”. I’m all depth and profundity.
http://judgybitch.com/2013/01/09/engagement-rings-a-word-of-caution/
Bullshit.
While I WILL take credit for wasting the minimum amount of resources of luxury goods (ONE purse, ONE pair of boots), I am now forced to admit that I am like any other woman when it comes to using luxury goods to tell the wider culture a story about myself.
The story goes like this:
You want this man? Okay, sweetpea. Here is what you are up against:
Give it your best shot.
And good luck.
Lots of love,
JB
judgybitch 
One of the chief reasons the ruling class has privileged women with government largesse is because women are far more likely to frivolously spend their money on stupid shit, thus going directly back to the ruling class.
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OMG!!
OMFG!!!!
That video was priceless. She needs a haldol injection.
Show that to the judge, hope they don’t have children.
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The story goes like this:
You want this man? Okay, sweetpea. Here is what you are up against:
I think too many wives spend far too much mental and emotional energy obsessing over their husbands’ interest in “the other woman” – an interest that doesn’t usually exist (or that isn’t mutual, at any rate). Sure, such perceived fears occasionally bear out in reality, but IME, most married men have enough trouble and stress in their lives without wanting to add to it or substitute the devil they know for one they don’t.
As far as luxury goods that women own/acquire are concerned, I’m not sure that these necessarily signal “property of a good provider” status, as most women I know waste no time in letting other women know that THEY bought these things with THEIR money (even if it’s money that the Alpha Provider gave them in the form of an allowance). The message is that the Alpha Provider, should he exist, had nothing to do with it.
In the past, a few of my wife’s girl friends and female acquaintances have dropped hints of the “if you don’t do right by him I or some other woman will” variety, which occasionally got her upset.
My stock response to her distress? “Now why on earth would any man still clutching at sanity trade terminal cancer for ALS?” (Have I mentioned that after 20-plus years of living with me, my wife has learned to appreciate morbid humor? She stopped throwing things at me after our first year of marriage.)
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I’m very grateful that he captured that behavior on video (although why she let him do it, knowing where it would end up and what it would show the world about her, tells me that she has the IQ of a dried house plant).
“Whitney” should be branded “21st Century All-Amerikan Grrrrl.” Might even be some money in that.
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I noticed the video already has ads up, and over a million views. I think there really IS money in that. Maybe she could change her name to Snooki or Sunny Boo boo.
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I suppose that the same could be said for men, too. I drive a big, shiny lifted 4×4 pickup that I really don’t need. Don’t get me wrong, the stuff that I haul on a daily basis requires me to have a ¾ ton truck, and living in Eastern Washington and Northern Idaho pretty much requires a 4×4, but I had one that was perfectly functional, however beat up, that I traded off for the one I’m driving now because the one I’m driving now is so much more flashy and badass.
I just bought a new fishing boat in September, too. My old fishing boat was working fine, but seriously, look at this goddamned thing:
http://notboutthing.blogspot.com/2013/01/i-bought-new-boat-in-september.html
Have you ever seen sexy like that before in your entire life? The boat, not me… LOL…
So I’m not trying to pick up chicks – I’m happily married and really honestly don’t have any urge to fool around. Of course, there’s that awesome feeling you get when you know chicks are checking you out, whether you plan to bang them or not, but I don’t think that’s the reason that I bought these things.
There is the chance to show other guys how much cooler my stuff is than theirs and assert my superiority over them, and to an extent, that has something to do with it, too. But I don’t think that’s all of it, either, especially since I very rarely participate in the standard “dick measuring contests” that a lot of guys put on – I just don’t feel like I have anything to prove.
When I really drill down into it, I think the biggest reason that I drive the truck I drive and own that boat is because it sends out a message in much the same way as you described, JB. It says “I got this.”
It says that I’m a good provider, a good father, and that if you want to try and cut in on my wife, you’d better be bringing something serious to the table.
I don’t know for sure if that is the sum of it. Part of me just thinks this is silly and that I just take pride in having nice things, but then I ask “why?” Why take pride in having nice things? And it brings me back full circle to this again.
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What, you think a judge will care? A woman could skin her husband alive and judges will still give her the upper hand in court.
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Not surprisingly, if you go to gawker or other sites that have stories on that video, there are hundreds of comments from Women who say he was being abusive and controlling by recording her. Despite the fact that during the video he flat out calls her out on texting and facebooking her friends in an effort to portray him as the bad guy.
So even in light of a video such as this, many many women still easily find a way to make it all his fault.
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men don’t generally give a shit what kind of shoes you wear or how many thousands of dollars you sank into a sack to carry your tampons and trashy novels.
Actually, I do care. If a woman is prone to wasting tons of money on something just for the name of the designer, it won’t be long before she is eying my money to waste on those things.
That is what my ass is for.
Indeed. Keep it pert, ladies!
Men don’t notice what handbag you carry. Women do. And the assumption is that an expensive handbag was given to you by an excellent provider. And what do women want? A provider.
Hmmm. So hanging out with women with expensive fashion tastes will make me more attractive to the other ladies? Perhaps I should rethink my previous comment. Nah.
Oh my god, have you seen this chick, who doesn’t get to go to the lake? She has apparently filed for divorce from her husband, who was “bullying her”.
Hilarious video. There’s a hidden bit in there that’s telling. He says he’s not going to the lake because he has to have maintenance done on his truck (after working a 60-hour week). There’s a quiet bit in the middle about why she didn’t get this done while he was working, freeing up time to go boating. She mumbles something about she couldn’t because of the “interlock” thing. Turns out she has a suspended license for a DUI. His side is that this tantrum is typical behavior for her. Dodged a bullet indeed.
My engagement ring is another signal to women that I take any threats against invaders fairly seriously
Especially the gouges it can make when applied to her face. Not that you’d ever do anything like that, but…
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Nice boat, as far as stinkpots go.
But, this is a real boat
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Complete side-track here. I’m willing to bet the the Professor you mentioned has a LIthuanian background (parents, etc…). Vladas was my grandads name, before Ellis Island decided “Walter” was easier to write.
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I’m sure those Women can see themselves in that video. Their reaction:
“Whoa, that could be me! Not fair! Bad man…” (fingers in ears) “lalalalala”
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The problem with the clothes and the shoes can be avoided if women are forced to wear potato sacks. Speaking of potato sacks, many Muslim women wear make-up under theirs.
I know a woman who used to manage a woman’s shoe and clothing store. When I asked her how many clothes and shoes she had, she told me she had a separate room for all of them. She estimated she had 100 pairs of shoes.
An old girlfriend told me she had 100 Beanie Babies in a box under her bed. When I told a friend he informed me he knew a woman who had 300 under her bed.
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300 Beanie Babies?
Run!!!!!!
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Nice! (thought Lost Sailor’s photo below is amazing)
I think it’s important to marry a person who ‘evens you out’ financially.
My husband buys all the stuff. Almost every clothing item I wear, he bought. I hate to shop. Since moving to the keys last year, we’ve accumulated a boat, a thousand types of lures, reels, rods, bait, three spear guns for spearfishing, a nice wooden fishing rod holder, scuba gear for three people (and classes, total about three thousand after all expenses on just scuba), snorkling equipment, also a bait freezer and smoker. This in less than 12 months time. And he started delta fit which requires a lot of equipment (after selling all the crossfit equipment for the move because it was too expensive to move).
We had some major money fights back in the day, because I am very frugal. He has actually come a long way towards me, and I’ve relaxed a LOT.
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Did anyone else catch his reference to the fact that her car had an interlock device on it (which is why she claimed that she couldn’t get her oil changed on her own)? That tells me that she’s been bust for DUI/DWI – and if she has an interlock device on the car, that means that it wasn’t her first go-round.
What a prize this guy landed!
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First sentence, intended to say ‘though’ not ‘thought’. Your boat is awesome. Don’t want my husband to see it, so I wouldn’t invite him here. He’ll get more ideas.
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I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if she was to be offered her own “reality” TV show. I would be even less surprised if it turned out to be a ratings blockbuster.
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Good catch! I didn’t know what she was referring to. More wow.
Maybe she’s drunk in this video? Talk about having issues.
Well, we know if she’s drunk she isn’t responsible for her own behavior, so this changes everything. I’m sure she’s just a sweet little snowflake “normally”.
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know a woman who used to manage a woman’s shoe and clothing store. When I asked her how many clothes and shoes she had, she told me she had a separate room for all of them. She estimated she had 100 pairs of shoes.
I swear that at one point my wife had almost as many purses.
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Yep. A hoarder in the making.
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Oh, and, not to be pedantic, but it’s Sex and the City, not “in.”
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Ha! Tells you how familiar I am with that slice of trash!
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I’m not going to lie- I have a liking for designer brands.
Instead of wasting hundreds though, I shop at places like Ross, Marshall’s, and TJ Maxx. I recently scored a Steve Madden bag that retailed for $128.00 for only $35.00. I even got an authentic coach bag for only $50.00 and coach Red Plaid Tartan Ballet flats for only $15.99 from Ross. (I took them to the coach store here in the city I live on to verify their authenticity, they were the real deal.) Same goes for our clothes, miscellaneous home decor, electronics, and etc. Family and friends are usually surprised to learn how frugal we are. My husband told me I should let his sisters in on my little secret lol. It’s really no secret at all though.
I also wanted to share this: My engagement ring is a humble silver band with a crystal instead of a diamond. My wedding ring is a modest silver band. I cherish them.
And that video…I really feel for the husband in that situation. He’s screwed if he stays, he’s screwed if he leaves.
I adore your blog JB. Thank you.
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I figured you’d have something to say here. *grins*
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At least you’re not a landlubber. That counts for a lot…
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I’m slightly ashamed that I know this…
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As a man, I have no idea whether you flashing an expensive purse, shoes, and engagement ring will drive off potential rivals. But I’m sure what would do the trick if that doesn’t work, is casually mentioning to Sweet Thing that you give Mr. JB sex ten times a week, including blowjobs. If her face turns green at that point, by all means introduce her to Mr. JB–the world needs more comedy.
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I can’t fully guarantee that I am not some sort of psycho, but I can’t help but wonder what sort of signal tattooed wedding rings might send to other women about the wisdom of poaching my mate…
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True story: my college boyfriend owned the box set.
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The only thing I have a lot of is books and kitchen things. I would perform, for my boyfriend, any number of depraved acts for pretty much anything by le creuset or a good graphic novel.
My clothes are mostly handmade or thrifted.
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Give him?
Now that’s an interesting spin.
I kinda like it.
I thought I was “taking”, but I’m glad to spin that puppy around.
I’m all about giving. Always giving. Gosh, I work my butt off, giving to others.
Heh.
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I’m hoping it was a gag gift?
Or, perhaps he was waiting for that moment when an assailant might come up to him, point a gun at his head, and say, “I will shoot you unless you happen to have a box set of Sex and the City right now”.
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Nope. He legit owned and watched it.
During the course of our relationship he developed or revealed (I am insure of which) a diagnosable mental illness and a tendency to kiss boys.
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“….diagnosable mental illness and a tendency to kiss boys.”
That ‘splains it.
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Women could bleed the beast in one day if collectively, all over the world, we all decided that from tomorrow onward, we would never buy a single makeup product in our entire lives, ever again.
All a human needs to look good is clean hair, clean skin and clean teeth…. AND A SMILE!
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Oh yeah certainly! Men are just as much into needless shit as women.
You guys also buy cosmetic “grooming” products that you not only don’t need, but are cancer causing as well.
All a human needs to look and smell good is clean hair, clean skin, and clean teeth. Water does the trick for all of the above.
If you “need” something more – baking soda and coconut oil.
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“men don’t generally give a shit what kind of shoes you wear”
Actually *some* men do JB.
Roosh and other so-called “red pill” male bloggers have written eulogies to the high heeled pump.
They’ve yet to take the red pill on shoes.
(I go barefoot 90% of the time, and yes, even in stores. Haven’t gotten kicked out yet.)
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My hubby drives the expensive, impractical car too. He doesn’t splurge on much and it makes him happy- and most importantly we can afford it. He admits that a big part of the attraction to the car is the emotional *I made it* factor.
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I’m the frugal one too. Almost every nice thing I have (jewelry, purses, etc.,) were gifts because I’m too cheap to buy anything myself.
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My boyfriend always grumbles when my gait is slowed by my sexy cowgirl boots. It’s a chunky two inch heel, and they are pretty comfy and can easily take me miles, but still, the grumbling.
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No one is perfectly deep and profound. The catch is to recognise the more shallow qualities of oneself and to not allow that to control your life and define who you are. Prioritise. It’s what all adult women should learn to do – yes you may want that sexy pair of boots, but bitch, pay the bills first. Also learn to value the items you have and make the most of them. No one wants hoarders who wear an item once and then forget about it.
I couldn’t even bring myself to laugh at that video…I was staring at it with my jaw almost down to the ground. How in the world can an adult allow themselves to behave like that? I’ve seen more mature 12 year olds.
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LOL, I noticed that too. Good luck to them in finding a woman who wears hells 24/7 and isn’t a spoilt, self-obsessed, superficial brat.
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Yes, JB, the word is “giving.”
First rule of feminism: If a woman does something, and a man becomes happy as a result, that woman is “sacrificing,” and the man is “exploiting her.”
Second rule of feminism: If a man does something, and a woman becomes happy as a result–the man owes it to her, undoubtedly for something he’s done to her in the past.
So if you and Mr. JB climb in bed, and he has one orgasm and you have seven, feminists sympathize with the “sacrifice” you made by getting close to a man’s “bodily fluids.” And the fact that you had six more orgasms than your husband when you gave him sex just “proves” how much your mind is enslaved to “false consciousness.”
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Regarding the engagement ring (diamond): Doesn’t the simple wedding band signal to people that you and he are taken?
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In the making?
I say 100 Beanie Babies means full on, full frontal hoarder to the max.
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that’s called a “shoe fetish”. also, good luck on destroying the make up industry. that shit’s been going on for millenia and always will
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the engagement ring shows (or is supposed to) what a man will go through to fully commit, as well as an instant marker that she is off the market.
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amen to that.
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why do women shed so much? the only creature that i have seen that can match it is my dog, who is a husky-wolfish mix (coloring and size, but still husky in general) or like a malamute. god damn
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$50 for a Coach bag? Damn. I need to shop Ross more. My husband bought me one for Mother’s Day a couple of years ago and I love the darn thing. I carry it every day and it still looks brand new.
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You know JB I owe you a big thank you. I have significantly upped the amount of sex I’ve been having with my husband since I started reading your blog (and we had a pretty good frequency before then) and I can’t tell you how happy that has made my husband. Mostly I was hoping to relieve the stress of his job and make him feel good, but I think it has upped his confidence and strengthened our marriage. The best part is that’ll makes me happy too– a total win win.
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Lol! You are so right. Between me and my daughter I have to vacuum every day. The price of long hair… I have to clean the shower drains a lot too.
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OR maybe he didn’t read past the word “sex……”
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That is why expensive escorts are way cheaper than normal women.
When you go to the brothel or the apartments you find this escort ladies wearing all that luxury lingerie, with that high heels, the Gucci bags, etc. BUT you do not have to buy that shit to them.
In Norway, where officially does not exist prostitution, if you walk in the area of the port in Oslo, luxury but small cars, are going to follow you slowly, and beautiful and dressed to kill women, with war colors, are going to call you from the seat and invite you enter in the car. So, you stop your walk, the car stops too, and you deal with the lady, talking through the window of the car, like if you would be the hooker and the lady would be the john.
If you deal, you enter in the car and this sophisticated lady drives you to somewhere… Oh! when we were little boys they always told us no to get inside the car of unknown people!!! Especially bad women.
The other good thing is you do not have to buy this expensive car.
Hookers are the best thing of Creation. I understand why they are so important in the whole Bible.
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I adore you, Aye.
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Oh, my God!
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Eh. I guess the ability to keep up is something he likes in a woman.
Poor, poor me, the mean man thinks I am capable, wants me to be comfortable, likes my company and shows me all sorts of nifty things I did not know about my city. Waaaah waaah, so oppressed.
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… And adequate nutrition, plentiful sleep, time for meditation to clear the negative thoughts that transcribe themselves as wrinkles on the face, daily exercise (I pick belly dance and I do it a lot), a gallon of water daily, coconut oil to moisturize the hair, nails and skin (I like to put it in the food processor with sugar and orange essential oil to make an exfoliating scrub. Another good food cosmetic: rose water is a great toner, and vanilla extract dabbed on the neck and breasts- I think the boyfriend starts sniffing around there looking for cookies but then he finds breasts, so he is happy even when there aren’t any cookies), avoidance of alcohol and caffeine and cheese and chocolate….
It’s not just “nothing but cleanliness and a smile!” This natural beauty shtick is hard work!
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I would be going for, “We said ‘forever,’ lady, and that doesn’t fuckin’ slip off.”
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They do say if it floats, flies, or f*cks…rent it.
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1. She can learn how to love leading the Nice Guy. Yeah, that should work out in the long run.
3. She can used a “mixed mate” strategy, keeping compliant hubby at home while fucking the hot cowboy on the side. Seems to be an increasingly popular option.
Wannabe “enlightened” domestic despots (or feminists, not much difference here), are you dreaming of becoming next Catherine the Great? In order to make it work you need to have someone like Peter III (with way below average IQ and inadequate masculinity) as your compliant hubby. Those tens of “studs” to share “intimacy” with were rather costly to pull off as well. Coincidentally or not, she also favored bureaucracy over meritocracy, instituting a rule promoting every “public servant” after 7 years of “service”, regardless of actual merit.
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Just back from a few days in Saint Petersburg, Exfernal.
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You bet!
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Hottest women ON EARTH!
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But the wedding does that even more. And JB has one of those too.
Once married the wedding ring is enough. Engagement ring is for the engagement period and an engagement is never as much a sign of long long takenness that the wedding ring is.
In fact, many never graduate from engagement to wedding ring.
Plus, think about blood diamonds.
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Meditation and cleanliness is all we need.
Especially meditation.
In fact, when one gets really deep into it, they might not even care about cleanliness anymore. That’s why so many Himalayan yogis have dread locks.
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The hottest men are in Northern Africa, India and the Levant.
Yummers!
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Goober, this cartoon is for you. 🙂
http://tinyurl.com/mkl4zwj
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I have a different answer to husband poaching: Return to harems. The fact is the number of “alpha” males is declining while at the same time women are increasing unwilling to settle for less than alpha. This math doesn’t work unless you accept two outcomes: a really high and messy divorce rate, or wife number one puts up with wife number two entering the family. I’m sure the luxury goods will buy her off nicely. I have no problem with some guy having three or four wives concurrently if he can afford it.
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Marlo, I completely disagree with your solution of polygamy for husband poaching. This diagram shows how polygamy works out:
As you can see, of the 5 types of men (categorized solely by degree of attractiveness to women), only men in the Alpha category are conceivably happy with their romantic/marital/reproductive life. The Betas (matched with “4” women instead of their same-level “8”) and Gammas (get “2” women vs. deserved “6”) get substantially ripped off. Worst, the Deltas and Epsilons get absolutely nothing in the way of women (in contrast to their deserved “4” and “2” women).
It’s as if the CEO and Board of Directors at a company all got million-dollar paychecks every 2 weeks, while the mid-level managers/scientists/engineers all got minimum wage, AND EVERY OTHER WORKER DIDN’T GET PAID A CENT. Think that’s a good long-range business plan for a company? Me neither. Nor is it is a good one for a society/nation, to have the vast majority of the men either grossly ripped off, or not getting rewarded at all, as far as their access to sex partners/wives/making a family goes. Expect those men at the very least to refuse to produce beyond their own immediate minimal needs, and quite likely to have so little stake in the current society that they’re very prone to emigration, crime, and/or violent insurrection. This is quickly where the West is going.
As an example, polygamy is much of why the Arab World is as bad off as it is. That region has most of a billion people, stretching from the Atlantic coast of Morocco to the Iran/Iraq border, yet when you subtract out petroleum earnings (credit those to God + Western technology), the GNP is approximately that of little Belgium. That level of poverty, disorder, and impossibility of hope is where our current “soft” polygamy is headed — and where your idea of widespread legal polygamy would quickly and longterm take us.
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“I have a different answer to husband poaching: Return to harems.”
In theory I’m for them. But STDs!
Even if all parties involved are virgins at marriage, there is no guarantee that everyone will remain sexually faithful to everyone else.
Especially we know the score with May-December relationships; don’t ask don’t tell.
While the harem will neither ask nor tell, if just one of us contracts a disease, we will all get it.
But in theory I’m all for plural marriages of any combination.
I’m especially for open marriage if it will keep a couple together for the sake of the kids. Like when one spouse chooses to open up the marriage by cheating, the other should not divorce her (or him) once caught but the couple should do everything in their power to remain together, even as friends, for the sake of the kids.
Usually that entails some sort of scale balancing.
I personally know a few open marriages that are working just fine. But again – STDs are my first concern.
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Take Back, a historically more adaptive response in the case of continuing infidelity (where the innocent spouse wishes to keep the children in a 2-parent home) would be to simply permanently cease the sexual relationship between the husband and wife. As a practical matter, most men absolutely cannot longterm abide knowing their wives are continuing to be unfaithful to them, as it feels too much like being cuckolded (a worse fate than involuntary celibacy and childlessness to men). Women seem more variable in their ability to put up with that.
Did you not read my post above yours? Please look at the diagram to which I linked as well.
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P.S. to JudgyB.:
Many or most readers honestly can’t see your figure well at all in the “see what you’re up against, if you try to steal MY husband!” pic at the bottom of the initial post you made on this thread. (It’s a genuine shame, too, as I know from your other previous pics that you’re a real babe.)
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“Take Back, a historically more adaptive response in the case of continuing infidelity (where the innocent spouse wishes to keep the children in a 2-parent home) would be to simply permanently cease the sexual relationship between the husband and wife.”
Yes. But they should live together as friends, and as a parental unit for their children, while dating other people if they so choose. That’s also another type of open marriage.
But still…. STDs!
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I love good, expensive, luxurious things. I am married, I work hard, care about my marriage, my husband, my daughter, my dog, my cat, (both rescued) my new grandson, my friends. When we were both laid off in ’08 I stopped spending. I still had my expensive car, my big ring, and nice clothes but nobody dresses up anymore anyway. Now we are working again. I save almost every dime but splurge once in a while on something expensive. WTF. Life is short and I want to “suck the marrow” out of it. Live well and die happy.
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