Delusional Mom creates problem where none exists, and encourages girls to be delusional too! Sweet! Way to go, Mom!

30 Aug

Yesterday, I made a very rare trip to the mall to pick up some back to school clothes for my children. My oldest daughter, PinkyPinkyPie, will be twelve years old this year, and like almost all pre-teen girls, she has an intense interest in her clothing and how she presents herself.

Pinky has never been one to care much about clothes. As long as they are comfortable, she’s happy. And while comfort is still a big factor for her, she has now added a sense of “fashion” to her sartorial requirements. And I have to say, I adore Pinky’s sense of fashion. Last year, for indoor shoes, she had a pair of sapphire blue sequined combat boots, which I absolutely loved! This year, she picked a pair of black sequined combat boots with silver stars and bright purple laces.


How awesome are those boots? Totally girly, but not over the top Princess girly. Pinky is having a love affair with skulls, camouflage and animal prints, too, and she glams them up with sparkles and small touches of pink or purple. Here is her beloved camo ballet skirt outfit, and I’ve lifted up the edge of the skirt to show that not only is it lined, there are built in shorts so she can do pretty much anything she likes without exposing herself.


It’s really not that hard to find girl clothes that are not painfully frilly or cutesy pie or inappropriately mature for the age group. To be certain, if you go looking for hooker clothes for 12 year olds, you will find them, but you can just as easily find clever, cute, empowering clothing, too.

The store we love is called Justice, and while you will occasionally see the “Girls can do anything rah rah rah” bullshit, for the most part, the clothes celebrate girls without implicitly claiming victimhood or denigrating boys.



I mean, really, the whole “girls can do anything, girls can be anything” sloganeering strongly implies “if no one holds us back”, doesn’t it? It teaches girls to think of themselves as defying some sort of force that keeps them down. To think of themselves, in other words, as victims.

My daughter is not a victim. The only thing holding her down or back is herself. I will not allow her to pass the responsibility for her own life and her own choices off onto some nebulous creation that somehow “victimizes” her before she even begins.

Fuck that.


My dad is my BFF! How sweet is that? Pinky’s Dad is not her BFF, and he’s happy to demonstrate that when she crosses boundaries, but the sentiment is incredibly lovely, and it’s not something you see very often, is it? The celebration of love between fathers and daughters.

Sadly, some chick named Sharon Choski has never heard of Justice clothing, and is apparently unfamiliar with the fact that girls don’t actually get arrested or sentenced to hard time for preferring t-shirts hanging in the boy’s department. The last time I was at Wal-mart, no one checked to make sure I was buying those Star Wars and Lego graphic tees for my son.

star wars

Sharon was so dismayed by the lack of alternatives to girly frilly shit, and so stumped by the alternative of shopping in the boy’s department, that she created a clothing line that consists of t-shirts just for girls.

girls will be

What makes these t-shirts just for girls? Well, they are sized to avoid that boxy boy look. You know, a little more form-fitting. To draw attention to the girl’s bodies as feminine. Hey, way to subvert those gender expectations and get girls to think their bodies are the most important thing about them!


I personally don’t think there is anything wrong with girls being aware of the power their bodies have, but it’s rather rich to claim some feminist, gender defiance impulse inspired your clothing line, and then design clothes to emphasize a girl’s body.

We hope this shirt is just the beginning of our story. Because we believe there is a need for all kinds of clothes that follow the Girls Will Be style – colors beyond pink, no girly embellishments, imagery that breaks gender stereotypes, and styles that let girls be kids.

Our style is quite simple, yet incredibly hard to find. We tweaked a traditional unisex t-shirt to give it a slimmer fit, ever-so-slight shape to the body, less boxy sleeves with a “just right” length, and lighter weight fabric.

And what do the shirts look like?

Pretty boring, if you ask me.




Nothing you can’t find at any Wal-mart or Target. And what’s up with this one?


Popsicles? Things you lick and suck? Oh, okay. Nothing to read into that.

Here are the ones that really interest me:


Be daring. Bold, fearless, adventurous. Oh really? Bold, like SlaneGirl bold, or bold like Captain Kirk? Why not just get her a Captain Kirk t-shirt?


A message like that without any context can easily be misconstrued into “do whatever the fuck you want and damn the consequences”. Just the message young girls need. Consequences do not apply to you.



I am me. Good for you, sweetheart, but YOU are not the only person in the world who matters. Stop thinking about YOU for a second and try considering everyone around you for a change. Yeah, narcissism is exactly what young girls need to add to their trove of virtues.

What about meeeeeeeeeeee?


Be awesome. Sure. Go ahead. How are we defining awesome again? Make robots? Swim with sharks? Be an astronaut? Fly 747s?


Hate to break it to you, cupcake, but it’s mostly boys who will grow up to do and be those things.


Women make up about 5% of the 53,000 members of the Air Line Pilots Association, which represents pilots at major and regional carriers in the United States and Canada.

Most engineers building robots and every other useful thing are men.

More than twice as many men than women attend graduate school for computer science fields, and more than four times as many men are enrolled in engineering,

When women like Sharon tell young girls that girly shirts celebrating femininity and all the attendant attributes are unacceptable, what they are essentially telling girls is YOU SUCK. And feminists applaud message because they just love women so much, right?


Being a girl is shameful. Having feminine interests and inclinations is wrong. Preferring colors and accessories that appeal to women is bad. Everything about being a girl is disgraceful and distasteful.

Girls suck.

Unless they act like boys. Pretend you love sharks and robots and baseball and always, always go ahead and just be your awesome self!

Do you see the disconnect? I certainly do, and it pisses me off. Girls, be yourself, as long as by “yourself”, you mean just like a boy. Boys are way better anyways, aren’t they?

Hey, I love boys. I grew up surrounded by them and I have one of my own, and he is totally adorable and very much a boy. I also love my girls and I am perfectly comfortable with my girls liking girly things.

Because I don’t hate girls. Or the feminine. And I don’t believe that just because women aren’t engineers or airline pilots, we are worth less than men. We’re different. What the fuck is wrong with different?


Some girls hate frills. They really do love sharks and robots and baseball. And that is awesome. Just because some girls are tomboys doesn’t mean we need to shame and hate little girls who are feminine and like to look that way. And we sure as hell don’t need to set little girls up to think that only male interests and occupations are worth pursuing and that failure is the result of some imaginary forcefield holding all the girls down.

Poor little sparkly victims in their sequined shoes and pink tutus.

It’s bullshit. And there is no need to create clothing lines that aren’t feminine. Those clothes already exist.

They’re in the boy’s department.

boys dept

If your girl loves monster trucks and pro-wrestling, then head on over to boy’s wear.

And leave the rest of us alone. We like our frills and rainbows and tutus and sparkles.


And we love girls.

Lots of love,


16 Responses to “Delusional Mom creates problem where none exists, and encourages girls to be delusional too! Sweet! Way to go, Mom!”

  1. Marlo Rocci August 30, 2013 at 16:32 #

    So let me get this right, they made a girls t-shirt with “Mr. Interstellar Booty Call” himself on it?
    Who is next? Hugh Hefner?


  2. Eric August 30, 2013 at 17:05 #

    I believe that was JB making a point, not actually part of the product line.


  3. RS August 30, 2013 at 18:31 #

    Those “girl” t-shirts are horrible! My daughter is a lot like yours, I think, and her sense of style is very similar. My daughter is 13 and flip-flops back and forth between girly and boyish right now. “Dr. Who” is her great love at the moment and we have tons of t-shirts that reflect that- no need to shop in the girls section either.

    My daughter also has some awesome space-themed vans. And a matching backpack.

    Like you I love my daughter’s sense of style.


  4. LS August 30, 2013 at 20:28 #

    In this day and age, everything from a child’s name, dictated activity, and even article of clothing is a projection of parental insecurities.


  5. B August 30, 2013 at 22:28 #

    Even though my daughter is only 2 ½- she’s very girly and insists on wearing what she chooses (this either consists of pink glitter shoes & a tutu or pink Mary-Jane’s and a floral dress). She accessorizes with a little purse and play pearls. Heaven forbid we make her wear pants lol. She’d wear her tutu and pink shoes to bed if my husband and I allowed it. She usually puts up a fuss when it’s time for her to put on her PJ’s. She likes her and rainbows and tutus and sparkles. ❤

    I wonder how her taste will change by the time she's your daughters age. For now, I find my fashionable little 2 year old hilarious.


  6. Feminism Is A Lie August 31, 2013 at 02:09 #

    PinkyPinkyPie’s style reminds me of my own at that age. I love her shoes! I’m glad to see a girl dressing age-appropriate, I think I haven’t seen that for years. Back when I got into girly fashions and wanted to shop at “grown up fashion stores” the fashion at the time was peasant tops and knee length denim skirts, so it was cute and girly without being inappropriate. These days I feel like girls jump from child clothes to being mini 20-somethings. Where are their parents?


  7. Cid August 31, 2013 at 04:28 #

    Honestly the entirety of that clothing line seems like highly cynical marketing to me. They know that whenever there is girly pink shit around SOMEONE is going to have a conniption; so they created a completely bland, generic brand just to sell to these femininity-hating types.They even packaged it with a fake “feel good” slogan to really suck them in. I highly doubt anyone involved in this brand truly gives a rat’s ass about any of it beyond the dollar signs.

    I’d say 100% of this crap comes down to the parents in the end. I was one of the goth kids in school and often shopped in the boys section; my sister was a fashionable girly-girl. Nobody gave two shits about whether we were in the clothes for the “right” gender, it was more about brand names and general style (meaning my sister was popular and I was totally not lol.)

    But yeah, feminists hate women, they hate being women and anything feminine is a target.. That’s not really news though.


  8. halogen August 31, 2013 at 08:31 #

    JB, you’ve got your head screwed on right about this topic.

    You say your daughter’s sartorial requirements are starting to include ‘fashion’. Danger, Will Robinson, Danger. This is a crucial point in your development as a parent. If she ends up sartorially focusing on ‘fashion’, that’s gonna be expensive. Be cheaper (for you, but eventually for her) if you could steer her to prioritize ‘style’ and ‘aesthetics’, not to mention a better outcome all round. fashion is ephemeral, but style lasts almost indefinitely.

    Now, having violated two personal rules (“people without children should not give parenting advice”, and “people with no sartorial sense should not give style advice”), I’m hitting the mattresses to protect myself


  9. judgybitch August 31, 2013 at 12:35 #

    Oh I know just what you mean. I’ve seen girls go crazy about fashion as they hit the teen years and the money that goes to clothing is insane!

    I’ve done something that was initiated by laziness but retrospectively comes across as brilliant psychology!

    You see, I hate lugging baskets of clean and dirty laundry up and down stairs, so rather than give each child a standard dresser and closet clothing organization system in their rooms, I created a “dressing room” for all of us outside the basement laundry room. Each child has two of those three drawer plastic organizers and a set of six hooks on the wall.

    All their clothes go there.

    The hooks are overloaded with hoodies and dresses and the drawers are stuffed, making them all feel like they have tons of clothes! Really, they have very little. If they had standard dressers and closets, those would be pretty bare.

    But since I’ve given them such confined areas to keep their clothes, it seems like they have a lot!

    Boundaries create perceptions.

    It’s true for so many things. Hope I can get every other boundary right, too.


  10. Wallace Black August 31, 2013 at 13:36 #

    I love my Doctor Who hoodie because it’s just so much roomier on the inside.


  11. judgybitch August 31, 2013 at 14:04 #

    I saw what you did there.




  12. Liz August 31, 2013 at 14:45 #

    JB, if there’s a profit incentive, they will build it.

    (but I don’t need to tell you that, MBA girl)


  13. Alex September 1, 2013 at 19:04 #

    that would be hilarious to all extents if they did


  14. Alex September 1, 2013 at 19:09 #

    get’s guys in trouble too, since it’s difficult to tell age from a distance and all that


  15. Alex September 1, 2013 at 19:14 #

    can chalk this up to dumb people being dumb. i’m seriously wishing for bit of a plague here, one that’ll show just much bullshit there is nowadays. doesn’t have to be deadly, but it needs to do some crippling to be effective


  16. Renee September 1, 2013 at 22:08 #

    I don’t see how the existence of this clothing line has to mean that it’s attacking what it means to be feminine….fashion wise.

    Yeah most girls aren’t interested in or will build robots, swim with sharks, etc., but hey I’m sure there are a few who will. And even if they won’t, at that time, some girls think it’s cool. Some boys wear T-shirts with space stuff, army fatigue, etc. and will never venture into those things when their older.

    I think the clothing line is a cool idea. It combines feminine styles, like the shape and cut of the shirt (something you would find in really girly clothing) with geeky or more adventurous themes. Many girls (and women for that matter – like myself) don’t want to have to shop in the boys section for shirts with those themes. With me, for the longest time I have wanted a Batman logo T-shirt or tank top. Just the simple black and yellow logo. However for the longest time, if I did see a Batman shirt for females, it was all girly with sequins. I didn’t want that. Last year, I ended up finding a female black tank top with the simple logo. Just black and yellow. It was perfect.

    I am me. Good for you, sweetheart, but YOU are not the only person in the world who matters. Stop thinking about YOU for a second and try considering everyone around you for a change. Yeah, narcissism is exactly what young girls need to add to their trove of virtues.

    I didn’t see it as that personally. I saw it as a simple message saying that she doesn’t have to be like the others girls in order to fit in, or that fitting in into a certain circle isn’t important. I saw it as a message saying be true to yourself, even if it means being a geek girl.


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