Hypothesis: It’s only rape when he doesn’t fall in love

10 Oct

 

 

So I’m gathering up stories about one night stands, trying to determine if there is any merit to my hypothesis that it’s only rape when he doesn’t fall under Princess’s spell.

 

Here’s what I found.

 

bed post

 

Story Number One

No author identified.

 

A drunken hookup leads to second drunken hookup leads to long term love.

 

My senior year of college, after completing the first issue of the school paper, of which I was editor-in-chief, I hosted a party for the staff in my apartment. Afterwards, we all decamped to the student center in a boozy haze.

Then, one small, innocuous thing changed my life forever: I had to go to the bathroom. On my way back, I ran into this scruffy guy from my English class, or, as I should’ve known him, my fiction editor, the only member of my staff I forgot to invite to my party. I stopped him and apologized. We ended up chatting for awhile: minute one, his hand was on the edge of the railing of the wheelchair ramp I was resting on but by minute thirty, it was around my waist.

There are lots of articles denigrating one night stands, encouraging people to go for them but insisting that they not fall in love. Well, I didn’t fall in love with my one-night stand: I fell in love with the guy who asked if he could stay and make me breakfast that first night, who invited me over to his room to chat later that week, who genuinely seemed interested in my summer internship, and who took me out on a date and thought I was cute and a little clumsy when I was really just drunk (don’t pre-game dates, guys).

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/howaboutwe/my-one-night-stand-became-long-term-boyfriend_b_4073400.html?utm_hp_ref=women&ir=Women

 

Okay, so drunk on the way to the bathroom, he has his hands around her waist and it leads to sex.

 

I know you want it

I hate these blurred lines….

 

 

And if he had never called her again?

 

Hmmmm.

 

From the Date Rape Fact Sheet:

 

Bottom line, if a girl is intoxicated she cannot consent to sex and you could be charged with rape. It does not matter whether you knew she was intoxicated, it doesn’t matter if you were intoxicated too, all that matters is that she was not in a state of mind to consent and therefore it is rape.

 

http://teenadvice.about.com/od/daterape/a/daterapeguysfyi_2.htm

 

So chicky above was raped not once, but twice.  Is her boyfriend technically a serial rapist?

 

Story Number Two

By Amanda Chatel (what is up with all these women named Amanda?)

But of my single friends who went through the one-night stand phase and came out on the other side to talk about it, there have actually been a few who made something real from that evening of drunken lust. While some ended in long-term relationships, a couple others (and I’m still mildly shocked by this), actually ended up in marriage.

Basically, a one-night stand doesn’t have to leave you entirely cold and lonely. Why? Because love exists and sometimes you can find it where you least expect it: next to some guy named Leonard, who’s missing all but one tooth and you don’t technically recall bringing home in the first place.

Love. It’s so fucking beautiful!

http://www.thegloss.com/2012/12/19/sex-and-dating/how-to-make-one-night-stand-into-love/#1

 

Erm, okay.  So black out drunk sex with a guy you don’t even remember bringing home is not rape when it leads to love?

 

And what if it didn’t? What if Leonard pulled on his pants and bailed without so much as a “see ya later!”?

 

Then what?

 

call 911

 

Story Number Three

By Monica Beyer (about someone named Meredith)

 

[Meredith] took a job doing manual labor installing hardwood floors and spent her time off partying. “My professional and personal lives were very interconnected because my co-worker and boss lived below me, so we’d install floors all day, then hang out all night, drinking until 2 then getting up at 6 and doing it all over again,” she shared. “It was crazy. I drank and dated too much. It was a time of excess.”

On St. Patrick’s Day, they were hanging out together in downtown Honolulu drinking and having a wonderful time. “I remember I was wearing mint green skinny jeans and a fedora,” she shared. “Those were crazy days!”

 

http://www.sheknows.com/love-and-sex/articles/994821/confession-i-had-to-get-to-know-my-one-night-stand

 

The hookup led to pregnancy, which led eventually to marriage.

 

But it all started with drinking and excess.

 

And what if things hadn’t turned out that way?  What happens then?

 

Story Number Four

By Anonymous

 

I met him at the local dive bar; he was working behind it and I was drunk because of him (and not in the romantic sense). The night was fuzzy… But it was something about his hands. He definitely was never my type and still isn’t. He wore camo shorts and a nasty, ill-fitting Clockwork Orange t-shirt. My friends called him dirty so I went home with him, mainly because the sex was bound to be epic- it always is with the unkempt ones.

 

Yes, they ended up married.  He asked for her phone number and they took it from there.

 

What if he hadn’t?

 

http://www.imboycrazy.com/2011/10/reader-submission-it-started-as-a-one-night-stand/

 

Story Number Five

By Periel Aschenbrand

When a beautiful fashion designer embarked on a crazy year of one-night stands, the last person she expected to meet was the man of her dreams.

Devastated by the end of a ten-year romance, New Yorker Periel Aschenbrand, 37, picked up men in bars, turned into a bunny boiler when an ill-fated fling with her boss went wrong and had sex with a fireman who couldn’t string a sentence together outside the bedroom.

Then she got drunk at a cousin’s wedding, broke every rule in the dating-for-keeps book and embarked on what she assumed would be nothing more than a dirty weekend.

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2392928/The-sleep-want-guide-dating-How-year-night-stands-led-woman-man-dreams.html

 

First comes alcohol,

Then comes oral,

Then comes marriage,

So what’s the moral?

 

Story Number Six

By Rose

 

The first time I had a real date with Chris, I knew it would be hard to resist him. I was already madly in love with him from some prior encounters, and I invited him over for dinner. I cooked him a real Sicilian meal, which I knew he would love, being that we are both Sicilian — lots of oranges, red onions, olives, garlic, not exactly the best set-up for good breath and romance, but the two bottles of wine I bought helped us forget anything bothersome.

Next month marks four years. We are engaged and more in love than ever.

 

http://nymag.com/thecut/2013/06/fucking-on-the-first-date-8-women-tell-all.html

 

What are to make of these stories?  How do we reconcile them with this:

 

As someone who was raped after a party, I often find myself falling for rape-apologist language. The guy that raped me would be most likely be horrified if I had accused him of rape. The guy that raped me is a good person. In fact, the guy that raped me was someone I found sexually attractive and had been flirting with for several weeks. I remember accepting his invitation for a ride home from a party.

 

http://www.feministe.us/blog/archives/2013/01/07/rape-consent-and-responsibility/

 

You liked him. You found him attractive.  You got drunk.  You went with him willingly. You fucked him.  It didn’t end with chocolates and rainbows and a diamond ring.

 

ring

 

Is that why it’s rape?

 

How do we make sense of this:

 

Okay, let’s get something straight here – INTOXICATION DOES NOT INDICATE CONSENT!  Whether you are a man, a woman, or transgender, if you are drunk, you cannot legally give consent.  Period.  Whether I am slightly tipsy and unsure or if I’m completely obliterated drunk and begging for it, any sexual contact that occurs while I’m so incoherent is deemed sexual assault by the majority of states in this country.

 

http://stopviolenceuw.wordpress.com/2011/08/23/consent-while-drunk-is-not-consent/

 

So all the ladies above are actually married to or in a relationship with their own rapists?

 

You know what?  Fuck this bullshit.  Fuck all of it.  And fuck women who think flinging their pussies at some hot guy on a first date SHOULD lead to love and marriage and a baby carriage.  Are you stupid?  Seriously.  What the fuck is wrong with you?

 

You don’t fuck anyone on a first date.  These aren’t even dates, for the most part!  And if you do, then you don’t get to wake up the next morning and scream rape when he puts you down in the gutter with all the other deluded sluts combing jizz out of their hair.

 

gutter

 

Have some fucking self-respect.  Have some fucking brains!  And if you can’t manage to do those things, then own your own shitty choices.

 

The odds of some man making you his Princess Forever after you deep-throated him on a 30 minute introduction are slim to fucking none.

 

How in the love of god is this NEWS?!?!?!

 

You know what I take away from these stories?  That women, despite all their protestations to the contrary, are deeply driven to bond with the men they have sex with.  There is no such thing as “casual sex” when it comes to women.

 

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201303/sexual-hookups-and-psychological-health

 

Rape is a tool women use to punish men for not feeling that same impulse to bond.  Not that men don’t want or feel compelled to bond with women, but that One Particular Man did not want to bond with HER.

 

And he will suffer for that.

 

And somehow, as a society, we can go to the wedding of dear friends who are getting married after a night of black-out drunk sex culminated in a bona fide relationship, and at the exact same time, donate money to RAINN to prosecute the men who had black out drunk sex that did NOT end with a tuxedo and a veil and fluffy white gown.

 

bride

 

What the fuck!?!

 

I am now personally refusing to believe ANY woman with a “date rape” story.  Fuck off.  I stand by one of my earliest posts.  You weren’t raped.  You’re a whore.  Which is actually an insult to whores, who are the least likely to be deluded into thinking having sex 3 minutes after meeting will turn into a long term relationship.

 

http://judgybitch.com/2012/10/22/54/

 

The worst, the absolute worst thing about all of this is how real, actual victims of rape get painted with the same liar-liar brush as the delusional sluts.  This story makes my stomach churn.  It’s fucking terrible.

 

rape

 

This last Tuesday, August 13 2013; three guys dragged me to an empty, grassy parking lot, and two of them took turns raping me.

After the first guy was done the second seemed reluctant to continue but the other guy egged him on, called him a pussy. By then it didn’t hurt as much.

Until they stuck something alien and sharp inside my anus. The lady who did my rape kit said she wasn’t sure what it was. I still bleed when I use the toilet.

I have no hope of ever getting justice. I have no hope of ever feeling like myself again. There are moments when I seem OK, I can joke with a friend or my boyfriend, I can go and run an errand. Then I flash back. And then the crying starts. And I can’t breathe. And I remember this is my life from now on.

 

http://www.xojane.com/issues/i-was-sexually-assaulted-just-a-week-ago-and-i-have-no-hope-that-my-attackers-will-ever-be-caught

 

You know why the attackers will never be caught?  You can thank all the drunk, stupid, clueless tramps screeching rape when he doesn’t text the next morning, backed up by your favorite ideology: feminism.

 

This needs to change. Date rape is not a thing. The conversation needs to comes to a screeching halt. And in the meanwhile, I think one of the smartest things any man can do is ask.  Ask the lady you are with if she has ever been raped. Listen to her story very carefully.  And get ready to run!

 

run

 

You may not be the first man she can punish for failing to call the next day, but you sure as hell can be next.

 

Don’t be.

 

Don’t fuck a woman you don’t plan on ever seeing again.  Unless you’ve handed her a wad of cold hard cash.  At least you know she understands the deal.

 

hooker

 

And all in all, it’s a pretty good one. Take it from Steve Martin.

 

“I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.”

― Steve Martin

 

So buy it.  The price of mistaking a drunk woman as an adult capable of making her own decisions is way too high.

 

Lots of love,

 

JB

 

68 Responses to “Hypothesis: It’s only rape when he doesn’t fall in love”

  1. Sarah October 10, 2013 at 23:25 #

    I don’t agree that a drunk girl cannot consent, or that drunk sex constitutes rape. That’s absurd. But there ARE cases where a girl (or guy) IS in fact too inebriated to stop it from happening and it happens anyway. I’m not talking about saying yes that night and crying rape the next morning. Yes, we should take precautions as women to protect ourselves and our friends from being in such dangerous situations. No, we do not forfeit consent by being irresponsible.

    Like

  2. TMG October 11, 2013 at 00:10 #

    The price of assuming women are rational adults is costing men dearly, drunk or no.

    Like

  3. James Coe October 11, 2013 at 00:18 #

    I always assumed “Date Rape” was a term used to refer to someone being legitimately and deceptively drugged at a party and then Raped while incapacitated, and that I will accept as Rape.

    It’s amazing how broad Feminists have stretched the definition of Rape.

    It’s almost like they’re

    Raping It.
    YEEEEAAAAHHHH!!!!!

    Like

  4. sybil October 11, 2013 at 00:22 #

    JB,
    I love your blog. But I have to disagree with this.

    “You know what I take away from these stories? That women, despite all their protestations to the contrary, are deeply driven to bond with the men they have sex with. There is no such thing as “casual sex” when it comes to women.”

    In my experience, it’s men who are most likely to get attached after a one-night-stand. When I was young, I had some one-night-stands, and I absolutely did not get attached to the guys based on that. Sometimes the guys did get attached, though, and they’d call, thinking that we were now in a relationship. Ooops. I felt bad about it, because it wasn’t my intention to lead them on or hurt them. Honestly, I think guys are more likely to get attached after a one-night-stand, because the sex is not usually that good for the woman.

    “The odds of some man making you his Princess Forever after you deep-throated him on a 30 minute introduction are slim to fucking none.”

    I’m afraid this doesn’t jive with my experience either. I did meet my husband on what started out as a one-night-stand, and we’ve now been together for 23 years. But I didn’t fall in love with him based on that first night together. We enjoyed each others’ company, continuing seeing each other, and fell in love mutually over the next weeks and months.

    If you like, you can call me a whore for having had one-night-stands when I was in my twenties. I’ll still love ya, though. Keep up the good work and truth-telling!

    Like

  5. LostSailor October 11, 2013 at 00:38 #

    That About.com article is appalling. But edifying about the true aims in the expansion of the definition of “rape.” Let’s take it apart a bit:

    The first and most important thing a guy needs to understand is that NO MEANS NO.

    Well, yes, except not really.

    Bottom line, if a girl is intoxicated she cannot consent to sex and you could be charged with rape. It does not matter whether you knew she was intoxicated…it is rape.

    It doesn’t matter if you knew she was 17 1/2 and drinking in a bar when she wanted to go home with you, it doesn’t matter whether you knew she had been drinking or had taken too many Xanex, a man is just supposed to know these things. Is there a requirement in law that a man bring along a breathalyzer on dates? And just what is the legal standard for “intoxicated” when it comes to sex? The legal driving limit? One drink? Who knows? Nobody. Except that men are just supposed to know.

    But the most important part (from the same link), as JB as noted in the past, is this:

    Your diminished abilities do not negate your responsibilities. A good rule to follow; if you are under the influence do not have sex. Now say you really had no idea a girl was intoxicated and that she truly appeared to be a willing partner, what then? The reality is that you could still be charged with rape if she is able to prove she was drunk or high.

    So while no means no, yes means no if she decides, after the fact, that the one drink she had or couple of puffs off a joint that you didn’t know about means she “couldn’t consent.”

    So, what’s the first agenda here? It’s to paint sexual relations in the most unsexy way possible. Guys who do this, won’t get laid most of the time.

    you must not move things any further than she clearly indicates she wants them to go. If you have even a shadow of a doubt about what she really wants you must stop altogether…don’t have sex with anybody you are not 100% certain is able to consent. In other words, don’t have sex with somebody you don’t know very well or have not spent most of your time with immediately before your sexual encounter.

    Which leaves out about 90% of the sexual encounters of most people ever. So, this clearly isn’t happening in the real world. So what’s the game here?

    Deniability. The legal ability for women to turn virtually any sexual encounter into rape at any time. It may be immediate, regret the next morning or days/months later, or discovery by a boyfriend or husband of cheating. Or the “moral” ability of women to claim years later, without a shred of proof, that you were “raped” at one point. Usually on surveys on “unreported” rapes.

    The real agenda is to give women the power to criminalize sex whenever they want.

    The cognitive dissonance is staggering. Feminism has insisted that women have agency, that they are in control and able to make their own decisions about their lives. Except when it’s inconvenient:

    While it may seem unfair to say to a guy “Dude, you’re under the influence too but you need to be thinking clearly even when she does not need to be thinking clearly…”

    It’s not just unfair, it should be unFeminist. But that would require logic. And consistency…

    Like

  6. RedPillOverdose October 11, 2013 at 00:41 #

    The feminist’s victimologist will never be satisfied until they have all sexual market control and criminalized an entire gender. According to the feminist indoctrinated cock police, only they have the right to define and redefine rape as they see fit. Got to keep their precious rape culture and whatever other bullshit propaganda alive to keep the funds rolling in.

    Like

  7. Andy October 11, 2013 at 00:42 #

    The government had to draw a line in the sand to define what was ‘drunk rape’ and what wasn’t. Unfortunately the line is far too close to real consent.
    Just because you can’t legally drive doesn’t mean you can’t consent.
    Where the line currently sits is far too tough for decent guys who are on the wrong end of a bad rejection.
    It is hurting relationships in Western countries (how many guys want to roll that dice) and it’s hurting women who are being plied with alcohol to the point of unconsciousness.
    There’s not much middle ground, but the line is too far on the wrong side for men

    Like

  8. Wilson October 11, 2013 at 00:45 #

    But what does the distinction mean? You’re still raped, and in most cases it will be impossible to prove (if the legal system is impartial). It’s like buying a Rolex from a guy on the street: when you realize it’s fake technically you were ripped off, but good luck getting your money back, “justice”, or sympathy. Maybe you can cry about it to your mom, assuming she’s not a judgy bitch.

    Like

  9. Moses October 11, 2013 at 00:48 #

    This reminds me of that SNL skit with Tom Brady on how to avoid charges of sexual harassment in the workplace – “Be handsome.”

    Google it. It’s hilarious. And true.

    Like

  10. javaloco October 11, 2013 at 02:05 #

    There’s a lot of moral handwringing about a woman’s ability to cry rape when she’s had drunken sex. I heard from someone close to the legal profession that this is not true. All the standards still apply.

    Which is correct?

    Like

  11. Sarah October 11, 2013 at 02:38 #

    “You’re still raped” – thank you. That’s all I was trying to prove.

    Like

  12. Alex October 11, 2013 at 03:31 #

    what people seem to forget is that humans have been engaging in drunken sex ever since booze was found out to be wonderful, and (outside of actual instances of rape) have never had a problem with this. what the hell happened in the last 50 years?

    Like

  13. beans mcgrady October 11, 2013 at 04:21 #

    Most of this rings very true. Though it is possible for someone to forcibly rape an acquaintance. Which is different from the drunk thing, but is a real form of date rape.
    That said,
    A very good friend and I almost beat the living shit out of a guy at six oclock in the morning over a drunk-rape story. His girlfriend told him about fucking some guy at a party. She did a great job of making it sound like she had no idea what was happening.
    She was dating my buddy at the time.
    fortunately we did not deliver the beat down. Little by little we realized that she was just trying to get out of feeling guilty for her own whore-ishness. The whole no drunk consent thing is bullshit. But, no passed out consent I can get behind.
    We still wouldn;t let that dude come back to our bar since he was a douchebag for screwing his friends girl, but he didn;t need a bottle to the head for rape.

    Like

  14. RedPillOverdose October 11, 2013 at 05:59 #

    Gloria Steinem, the CIA, and a good deal of wallstreet banker funding brought us the gift of second wave feminazism…thats what happened over the last 50 years.

    Like

  15. themaskandrose October 11, 2013 at 06:24 #

    Your husband will forgive me, Janet, if I tell you that I LOVE YOU.

    I’ve been following your blog for a while, link to it on mine, and only disagree with a small amount of what you say.

    And now, allow me to rescue my nose from you ass and address the article.

    I 100% agree. I went to a Liberal Arts university, where I was subjected to all the usual 1/4 date-rape-but-only-the-guy-is-the-rapist-if-two-drunk-people-have-sex bullshit.

    It was a MAJOR party school. I knew lots of people.

    Women went (as I’m sure you can imagine) out of their way to drink themselves into oblivion specifically so that “the sex wouldn’t count.” They drank with the INTENTION of having sex, in other words, while screeching about how “it doesn’t count if I don’t remember it! LOL!11!!”

    I have always considered it a giant red flag (or at least, a cause for further investigation) when a woman tells me she was raped. Sometimes, when a girl mentioned it, she would give me some bullshit sob story about a drunken hookup.

    In every single case that I remember, the “cause of rape” was that the guy was “an asshole who didn’t call back” or “never answered my texts” or “used me.”

    It is absolutely a tool some women use to shame men who don’t want to get into relationships….with women who would cry rape when they don’t get called back. Good call, gentlemen. Dodged a bullet there eh?

    Here is what happens:

    1. Drunk woman has sex with (probably) drunk man
    2. Depending on whether he calls back, he’s either her new fuckbuddy or an asshole
    3. While woman cries to her friends about the guy who never called back, friends inquire if alcohol was involved
    4. When this is confirmed, friends plant “rape” seeds by telling the woman that they got raped
    5. Woman knows 100% for certain she was not assaulted, but agrees that she was “raped” because having her girlfriends tell her this makes her feel better about being a slut. In the moment, it “feels good” to agree that she was raped.
    6. Once the words leave her mouth, she is committed to that story. Knowing in her hearts of hearts that her heart of hearts is a blackened, callous stone, she then goes around talking about her rape because once she verbally agreed it was rape, it became rape in her mind
    7. Girl goes to idiot Blue Pill therapist, who has her recount the details over and over, each time getting farther and farther from the truth and closer to what the girl has been told “rape” is like in her mind
    8. Therapist convinces her, and more literally she convinces herself, that a sexual assault occurred.

    Voila, a rape victim. That’s the recipe.

    Like

  16. Nicky October 11, 2013 at 07:29 #

    Oh, date rape is definitely a thing. It’s perfectly POSSIBLE to be raped by someone you are dating. (There is a difference between regret of drunk consent and actual lack of consent) However, it is all but impossible to PROVE. It’s like waking up the morning after a heavy night without your wallet. Did you drop it, or was it stolen? No one else has any way of knowing, and you’d be hard pressed to prove it was stolen even if you have the memory of it happening.

    But suggest that maybe the solution is to either not get THAT drunk, or have a good sober friend to help you protect your wallet (from either your own carelessness or pickpockets taking advantage)? That’s victim blaming! (As is this very metaphor, apparently. Since a vagina is not a wallet, and apparently feminist don’t understand how analogys work.)

    Like

  17. Human-Stupidity.com (@Human_Stupidity) October 11, 2013 at 08:22 #

    Sex is not easy. Requires meticulous planning, a legal team, detective for background check, alcohol testing, proof she drank no more alcohol after the test, and more ….

    Get a lawyer before courting: 34 precautions before risking sex with a woman.

    Like

  18. Human-Stupidity.com (@Human_Stupidity) October 11, 2013 at 08:24 #

    First we thought that 27 precautions were enough, before sex, but we stand corrected.

    Am I being moderated always, or only when I put up a link?

    Like

  19. Days of Broken Arrows October 11, 2013 at 08:38 #

    “Sometimes the guys did get attached, though, and they’d call, thinking that we were now in a relationship.”

    Translation from a guy’s point of view, who did this: They wanted easy sex again, but they couldn’t just ask for it outright because last time they did they got hung up on or slapped in the face. So theyu mumbled something about “relationships” and hoped for the best. Once you unlock a door, it’s nice to keep it open in case you ever feel the urge to explore the room again — whether or not you ever intend to buy or rent the house.

    Like

  20. Jan October 11, 2013 at 09:08 #

    Unrelated, perhaps a suggestion for an article topic. (perception of male vs. female nudity in public?)

    Like, holy fucking balls. Running around naked (at 15 years of age) makes your a sex offender?! America sounds scarier and scarier.

    http://engineeringevil.com/2013/10/10/boy-15-kills-himself-after-facing-expulsion-and-being-put-on-sex-offender-registry-for-streaking-at-high-school-football-game/

    Like

  21. sybil October 11, 2013 at 10:57 #

    Oh, was that what those guys were up to? It sure scared me off. 🙂

    Anyway, what I was getting at was that women wouldn’t cry-rape-because-he-didn’t-call if they were so attached and in love with the guy after having screwed him. If that was the situation, they’d be stalking his house, calling him repeatedly, etc. That’s what people do when they’re ‘in love’ (translation, obsessed).

    No, the women who do this disgusting, unconscionable act are pissed, not attached. They feel insulted and devalued because he didn’t call, and go into a rage.

    This became so obvious in the comments on that “rapebait” email. Most of the women who were angry about it objected to the word “expunge.” That was what they considered rape! It had nothing to do with the woman’s consent to sex, and everything to do with the man’s intention to discard her after sex.

    Like

  22. TMG October 11, 2013 at 11:20 #

    To a Feminist, rape happened whenever a woman points a finger at a man and says “he raped me.”

    Like

  23. Spaniard October 11, 2013 at 13:28 #

    I go in a few hours to buy some. 🙂

    Like

  24. Master Beta October 11, 2013 at 14:08 #

    I think it was “Be attractive” and “Don’t be unattractive” – if it’s the one I’m thinking about.

    But in all seriousness, that is the best thing you can do as a guy. Get some dumbbells and work those shoulders. Also give them a fake name.

    Like

  25. Master Beta October 11, 2013 at 14:10 #

    So what if a drunk woman has intercourse with a passed out man? What then?

    Like

  26. Jeremy October 11, 2013 at 14:17 #

    This needs to change. Date rape is not a thing. The conversation needs to comes to a screeching halt. And in the meanwhile, I think one of the smartest things any man can do is ask. Ask the lady you are with if she has ever been raped. Listen to her story very carefully. And get ready to run!

    Date rape could still be a “thing”, but it has to be forcible rape without being muddied by alcohol and drugs. However, as I understand the way things have gone in the last 10 years, date rape is now described as any unwanted regretted sex from your date. So, perhaps I am overstating my case here.

    Asking your first date if she’s ever been raped is about the best way to make sure no sex ever happens on that date, or perhaps the 2-3 next dates.

    Also, there’s been more than one article in the manosphere about getting some ironclad proof from the ladies you get laid with that they do not regret what happened.

    Like

  27. Dire Badger October 11, 2013 at 14:22 #

    Sex is not rape without violence
    Sex is only occasionally rape WITH violence.
    Like every crime, it’s all about intent.
    If I didn’t kick my pet’s ass during sex occasionally, she would find another master that does.

    Like

  28. Dire Badger October 11, 2013 at 14:24 #

    rofl.
    that’s either called ‘pegging’ or ‘masturbating’

    Like

  29. Take The Red Pill October 11, 2013 at 14:29 #

    “What happened in the last fifty years?”

    I’ll tell you, but the feminists and other “PC” types won’t like it: women successfully demanded that they be given all the rights and privileges of men, but without having ANY of the corresponding ‘inconvenient’ duties and responsibilities that go with those same rights and privileges; they also dumped their responsibilities and duties of being women, while also keeping their traditional rights and privileges of being “the weaker sex”. As it has also been expressed, “women tore up their part of the traditional social contract, while still expecting men to completely keep up their part of that same contract”. They justified this arrangement based on their claim (created by biased misandric feminist fictions, half-truths, quarter-truths, eighth-truths, and outright lies) of “centuries of female oppression by you chauvinist men”.

    Men, however, are finally waking up to this ‘arrangement’ and are realizing that it’s become time to tear up their their half of the social contract, too. You know, “equality” and all that stuff.

    Women said that they needed men “like a fish needs a bicycle”. MGTOW has happened because the bicycles have finally realized that they don’t need fish, neither.

    Like

  30. freetofish October 11, 2013 at 14:58 #

    The “date rape” or drunken consent discussion is another way feminists have taken what is a fairly straight forward conversation most people would agree with. and pushed that envelope to ridiculous proportions.

    If you have sex with a person who is so intoxicated they are passed out, that is rape. Most people would agree with that.

    Now, while it’s not the law yet feminists are sure pushing for it, if she has had 1 drink she can no longer consent and now you are a rapist if she so desires.

    There are a couple reasons for this but I think the first and foremost is to further exclude men from Universities. The US government has allowed University “rape” courts to expel men on a whim. Its no longer innocent until proven guilty.

    Case in point. JB you should love this one as it totally proves your thesis.

    http://articles.philly.com/2013-10-08/news/42797796_1_temple-football-player-praise-martin-oguike-text-messages

    Like

  31. Human-Stupidity.com (@Human_Stupidity) October 11, 2013 at 14:59 #

    this has happened.

    Guess what!!

    The man is forced to pay child support to the rapist. She had felt safe enough to brag to everyone that he had no clue he had sex, and that it saved her a trip to the sperm bank.

    Even if mother cheated, lied, or raped: father always pays child support

    Like

  32. TMG October 11, 2013 at 15:03 #

    The last time a woman interested in me told me she was raped, I asked her if she called the police. She said no, so I picked up the phone and said “I’m calling 911, we have to get your rapist off the streets.” She told me to stop, and so I knew she was not trustworthy for me to keep dating.

    Like

  33. Troy October 11, 2013 at 15:06 #

    Thanks feminism. Now we have to add the term “real-rape” to the lexicon because of your stupid slutty behavior didn’t end up with rainbows, ponies, and a large ring.

    Like

  34. Human-Stupidity.com (@Human_Stupidity) October 11, 2013 at 15:10 #

    The typical hard hitting unconventional thinking no holds barred judgybitch post.

    Good hypothesis.

    A few decades ago, almost all aging college professors were married to their former graduate students. RAPE!

    And then the women married their rapist!! Damaged and scarred for life.

    So many cruel unnecessary rape protection laws.

    A few corrections to your hypothesis:

    The man not only has to call back. He needs to meet basic qualifications. A beta nerd who is profoundly in love is still a rapist.

    And if the woman really wants short term sex, then maybe nothing is rape. Except when father, or husband find out and she is ashamed. Then it becomes rape.

    So the rule is probably:
    if a woman is sorry about the sex, it is rape
    That incluces if she is not sorry but ashamed, it is rape.

    In the second case, the woman often did not even mean to press charges. She just told a just-so story to her boyfriend, or father, who then made her press charges, though she did not want to.

    There also is an important point: As there is no need to corroborate or prove anything, the woman can be totally sober and enthusiastic.

    google “five second rape”

    She only needs to claim that she said “stop” once, the moment he had his orgasm, and he took 5 seconds to stop. It does not even need to be true. You know, women never lie about rape. /sarcasm

    Like

  35. lelnet October 11, 2013 at 15:19 #

    “Date rape is not a thing”

    Oh, it does happen. Happened to someone I know very well, in fact. A “friend” of hers when she was in high school brought her an open can of Coke, which it turned out he’d laced with a paralytic drug, and proceeded to have his way with her.

    But certainly not in the same league as “if I wasn’t sober and rational enough to sign a nuclear disarmament treaty, I get to repudiate my choices the next morning and you have to go to prison for it”.

    Like

  36. judgybitch October 11, 2013 at 15:22 #

    Yeah, I’ll accept being drugged by an acquaintance as rape. I still won’t call it date rape though.

    Its rape

    No qualifier required

    Like

  37. Goober October 11, 2013 at 15:23 #

    JB, while you’re on the topic:

    What are the statistics for guys actually being prosecuted for these “regret rapes?”

    I’ll bet they are pretty low.

    I’ll bet that most of this is just post-rationalizing hamster-dancing on the part of a woman who feels like a slut for doing what she did, and is trying to absolve herself of blame for it, not actually ruin the guy (although I know that this happens incidentally, and purposely also as a result of these things).

    For instance, the story relayed above about the woman who had drunken sex with sumdood, cheating on her boyfriend in the process, who then rationalized what she damn well knew was a consensual encounter by saying she had to have been too drunk to consent, and therefore he raped her, in order to:

    1. Feel better about what she’d done;
    2. Have a chance to get sympathy from her boyfriend, instead of being dumped outright (thus saving their relationship).

    It all just seems too convenient in most of these cases, and based on that, one wonders how often these things actually get reported to the police and turned into a legal matter, vs. how often the woman just tells her “brave survivor” story and slanders some poor schlub to save her own reputation.

    Just a modicum of self-awareness will have any one of these women understanding that people do things when drunk that they normally wouldn’t do while sober, and just because you willingly made a bad decision while drunk that you regret once you sober up, does not mean that you were taken advantage of, forced against your will, or raped by any reasonable definition of the term.

    Hell, just 6 weeks ago, I was camping with some good friends at a state park near here. I went down to the docks to check on the boat (I was pretty tipsy, but still sober enough to realize that I should probably make sure that it hadn’t come untied and was currently drifting down river). I went down to the dock, and my buddy’s wife decided she wanted to come with me. As I was checking on the mooring ties, with my back turned to her, I heard a splash behind me, and jumped up because I knew that she had fallen into the river in her drunken state.

    I was wrong. What she had done was stripped naked and gone skinny dipping. I was beside myself – here I was, alone, in the dark, with my best friend’s naked wife. I couldn’t leave her, because she was drunk enough that I didn’t want to leave her swimming alone, but I didn’t want to stay, either, because the whole thing was totally inappropriate.

    Anyway, moving beyond the uncomfortable situation – she was totally embarrassed at what she’d done the next morning. We’ve been laughing about it ever since.

    But the point of all that was to show that she made a decision that she regretted while being drunk. No one coerced her into it. She did it on her own accord, with her own consent. At the time, I couldn’t have talked her out of it if I’d tried. The next morning, however, she wished she hadn’t done it.

    It happens all the time. And this post-rationalization that “well, I wish it hadn’t happened NOW so I must not have wanted it THEN” is total bullshit. A woman could be BEGGING for it, and right now, our society expects a man to breathalyze her first, and then walk away if she doesn’t clear a .04. It’s wrong. It assigns a level of responsibility for HER actions to the man that he should not be responsible for, and denies any responsibility on her part, at all.

    When I was a kid, my parents taught me about the perils of drinking too much and doing things you regretted. Today, we teach young women that they can do whatever they want, and expect everyone else around them to show restraint for them, in their stead. This is not a good thing.

    Like

  38. Goober October 11, 2013 at 15:28 #

    Exactly. No qualifier required.

    Was it a forcible, unwanted sexual encounter to which you either did not, or literally were physically incapable of, giving consent (ie, you were passed out drunk or drugged or otherwise incapacitated)? Then it was rape, whether your date did it to you or it was a stranger. No qualifier required.

    Was it anything else, including “just going along with it to not make waves,” or “I regretted it the next day, from what I could remember, so I must have been raped?”

    Then it wasn’t rape, regardless of what qualifier you put in front of it. At best, it was a misunderstanding for which you are responsible for not making your objections clear (seriously, how can you try a man for rape when he wasn’t even aware that he was raping someone?), or it was a bad choice you made while drunk.

    Like

  39. Goober October 11, 2013 at 15:35 #

    Hell, even if its determined that the kid isn’t his he still gets to pay.

    Like

  40. Master Beta October 11, 2013 at 15:39 #

    Holy frickin’ shit. I really need to get a vasectomy.

    Like

  41. judgybitch October 11, 2013 at 15:54 #

    Look at this Dear Prudence question this week:

    http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/10/dear_prudence_i_was_raped_by_my_boyfriend_s_friend_but_i_m_afraid_my_boyfriend.html

    She claims she was raped by her boyfriend’s friend. A known womanizer and flirt. Is it true? Or is she just terrified of admitting she cheated?

    Of course, Prudie believes every word without a thought.

    Yeah? I don’t. The only thing I believe is that she had sex with the guy. Everything else sets off my bullshit meter.

    Like

  42. TMG October 11, 2013 at 16:46 #

    Whether they are prosecuted or not doesn’t matter. They are in a world of hurt the minute she points a finger.

    Like

  43. Goober October 11, 2013 at 17:00 #

    Absolutely agreed. I wasn’t attempting to downplay that aspect in the slightest.

    Like

  44. Goober October 11, 2013 at 17:04 #

    Not enough info to really make the call, jb, but what I don’t get, and maybe never will:

    Why not call the police?
    Why not go after the sumbitch?
    Why let this ruin your life and your relationship?
    Why let your boyfriend, who you say you love, continue hanging out with a sociopath rapist?
    Why do you care so much about your boyfriend if he’s of such low character that he would dump you for being raped?
    Why would a guy risk 25 years in the clink by raping someone that knows who he is?

    Stinks to high heaven, don’t it?

    Like

  45. Goober October 11, 2013 at 17:08 #

    Huge difference. Fucking a tipsy chick who goes along with it is rape by the standards of these feminists, when it quite obviously is not rape at all.

    Fucking a passed out chick who cant give consent is totally rape. No one is arguing that point. All parties on this blog completely agree with that point.

    Like

  46. Goober October 11, 2013 at 17:14 #

    It doesn’t really matter, does it?

    A man gets accused of rape, whether he is actually tried for the crime or not, he is ruined.

    He gets expelled from the university. He loses his reputation. He maybe loses his job.

    Yeah, he won’t go to prison, but for allowing a tipsy chick to blow him off when she told him she wanted to, but then regretted it the next day, he is going to be ruined.

    It isn’t right.

    Like

  47. girlwriteswhat October 11, 2013 at 17:50 #

    It’s been my observation that even if a woman doesn’t want a relationship with a particular guy she’s slept with, she wants to know the option is there. Not sure if it’s ego, or perhaps resentment or envy of the perceived greater power of rejection men have regarding relationships (the female corollary being the perceived greater power of rejection regarding sex), but in general, she wants that phone call the next day, even if it’s only so she can refuse to pick it up.

    I suppose there might be a biological reason that a woman would want the option there, if need be. I mean, she’s already making a foolish decision by risking pregnancy with a guy who hasn’t proven he’ll stick around and help her raise a kid if she needs him to, and then he demonstrates he’s not willing to after the fact.

    Like

  48. Aurini October 11, 2013 at 18:49 #

    “Don’t sleep with women you don’t like.” This is excellent advice for young men, who tend to be overwhelmed by their sex drives, and seeming offers of easy-sex.

    The one-night-stand slut isn’t just likely to accuse you of rape, she’s also likely to give you an oops-baby.

    Like

  49. Mark Wharton October 11, 2013 at 20:29 #

    Well pregnancy is really a non-issue with all the options women have even in the miniscule chance that birth control fails. Pregnancy is more of an issue for a man who has to pay if the woman wants a baby and of course is harmful to the kid.

    I believe it is an ego thing girlwriteswhat to feel attractive and desirable.

    Like

  50. sybil October 11, 2013 at 20:31 #

    Yes! Exactly.

    Like

  51. Sarah October 11, 2013 at 20:45 #

    From what I read on the blog, the latter was not made clear. Glad to have that sorted.

    Like

  52. feeriker October 11, 2013 at 22:50 #

    Is there a requirement in law that a man bring along a breathalyzer on dates?

    Capital idea! In fact, not only a breathalyzer, but a few other things as well. It’s just common(?) sense in this day and age of institutionalized misandry for ANY man to cover his ass when interacting with someone of the opposite sex.

    Here is feeriker’s suggestion for the minimum components of a “date kit” (full disclosure: not to be confused with a “rape kit” that is apparently a fixation of many rape-phobic women) that every man should bring with him on Date Night. I’m wide open to suggestions for additional useful components.

    Breathalyzer: To make sure that she’s within the BAL limit to consent to sex or anything that can be remotely construed as such. Indeed, once she “blows” (sorry, ladies!) and registers within a “safe” limit, be sure that she knows that she’s “cut off” from any further libations in order to indemnify yourself against any possible accusations of rape that a higher BAL would make possible and to make sure that SHE’s protected from even the possibility of having to exercise agency and take steps to avoid being taken advantage of.

    Camera, video, with a built-in drive sufficient for recording your complete interaction for however long the date is to last. Be sure to consult your state’s laws on recording and the required consent before using this piece of equipment. HOWEVER, let it be known to your date that any hesitation or refusal on her part to allow the date night to be recorded, in full, will be construed as her having ulterior motives or something to hide and will result in IMMEDIATE cancellation of the date. To “sweeten the pot,: offer her a copy of the video footage as insurance, if it will allay her fears of being recorded.

    Access to a background and/or credit check site such as verify.com that will enable you to check your date’s credit score or existence of any criminal records. Nip trouble in the bud before it can ever start!

    Drug testing kit: While admittedly very unlikely to happen to a guy, having “roofies” slipped into your drink by a date is still a possibility. Having your video camera active throughout the date will considerably mitigate this remote possibility, but you can never be too careful these days. If you have to leave the table or bar stool for even so much as a minute, be sure to test your drink for foreign substances as soon as you return (a smart man finishes his drink before he gets up to go to the men’s room and makes it CLEAR that he’ll order another one when he gets back. If he returns to find a drink waiting for him, he would be a MORON to drink it. End the date IMMEDIATELY if this happens!). Alternatively, if you suspect that your date is “high” and that she’s liable to do something crazy or stupid while under the influence that could ruin YOUR life, you should insist that she pee in a cup or submit to a blood sample (and with the same stipulations applying for the refusal to allow herself to be video recorded).

    Legal document package, to include release/”hold-harmless” forms, insurance waiver forms, promissory note templates, contract agreement templates (should the terms of the date become disputed), and any other legal form template applicable to contracts or dispute resolution. In fact, guys, it’s probably a wise idea to prepare in advance a contract that lays out the specific terms of the date (i.e., who pays for dinner and drinks, where the date is to be held, and whether or not physical contact or sex is part of the deal, and if so, to what extent or limit).

    What? You say that this “takes all the fun and romance out of dating?”

    Well, NO SHIT, SHERLOCK! You can thank not only feminism for that, but also the mangina-dominated legal system that has allowed the feminist imperative to make even the most casual of contact between the sexes a legal –and potentially lethal– minefield to navigate.

    The only way for all of this nonsense to end and for things to get back to normal (assuming that “normal,” as we rational human beings understand the word, is even a possibility in this terminal society inhabited in the main by people unfamiliar with the concept) is for men to start making the dating process so cumbersome, painful, laborious, and insulting to women that they’ll BEG for a return to the Bad Old Days of Patriarchy[TM].

    Like

  53. feeriker October 11, 2013 at 22:52 #

    AAARGH! Careless I was with the italics tags on that last…

    Like

  54. feeriker October 11, 2013 at 22:56 #

    Man, I wish I’d seen your link before adding my “date kit” list above. I think I’d extend every one of those 34 precautions to simple dates, let alone sex. As I said, a man CANNOT be too careful these days.

    Like

  55. feeriker October 11, 2013 at 23:02 #

    BEAUTIFULLY played!

    Asking your first date if she’s ever been raped is about the best way to make sure no sex ever happens on that date, or perhaps the 2-3 next dates.

    Then so be it. Once again, WOMEN, in gobbling down oceans of dogmatic feminist nonsense over the last five decades, have ultimately brought things like this upon themselves. They don’t want to face indignities like being asked on a first date if they’ve ever been raped, for purpose of determining whether or not they are lying sluts who will falsely accuse their date if he doesn’t bend to their will or live up to their expectations? Then maybe they’d better start restoring some sanity to the SMP so they won’t have to bear such indignities anymore.

    Like

  56. feeriker October 11, 2013 at 23:04 #

    The one-night-stand slut isn’t just likely to accuse you of rape, she’s also likely to give you an oops-baby.

    Or an incurable STD.

    Like

  57. annelocation October 12, 2013 at 01:17 #

    Wow. That was one of your very best articles.

    Like

  58. Chance October 12, 2013 at 13:54 #

    Shouldn’t the women also be arrested for rape since the men were intoxicated? They couldn’t legally consent could they? DOUBLE STANDARD.

    Like

  59. patriarchal landmine October 14, 2013 at 01:23 #

    basically, men need to sever all contact with women immediately until feminism is officially dead.

    men will get by just fine on their own, outside of civilization.

    Like

  60. Aphrodite October 14, 2013 at 12:46 #

    Hi, I really loved reading this piece. It says a lot I wanted to describe in posts on my blog, but you can say it way better than I can.
    I’ve always wondered why sex as a businesslike arrangement is frowned upon so heavily, while getting drunk and having a one-night stand with a guy you wouldn’t even recognize the next day, is ‘something that can happen, because you had great fun.’ And like you said, if the guy doesn’t desire to see you again, then it’s rape…?
    As a former hooker, some of my standpoints will greatly differ.
    But I’ve to admit. I agree with most of the things you’ve said throughout your posts.
    I’m a fan of yours 😉

    Like

  61. aminsirias October 14, 2013 at 14:06 #

    This is an excellent article. I would sum it up in it’s entirety by saying, Feminism is raping women.

    Like

  62. Modern Casanova October 28, 2013 at 14:33 #

    This is a bit scary. I like ordinary
    http://onenightstand1.com/ one night stands where we both get laid because we want that, and again stories like this are awful

    Like

  63. Jim March 12, 2014 at 05:21 #

    Your idiotic white knighting almost got someone severely injured or killed. That could have also meant you going to prison.

    Like

  64. dolf April 21, 2014 at 11:10 #

    “So buy it.”
    Yeah, well, thanks for the advice. Just turns out that’s illegal here. So if you don’t pay her, you’re a rapist. If you pay her, you have “bought another human being” and that counts as some damned kind of sexual coercion by itself. It’s just a matter of time until that is on par with rape as well.
    Sense Moral: You’re a rapist no matter what you do. Even if you’re celibate.

    Like

  65. Jack Strawb January 1, 2015 at 23:19 #

    Okay, let’s get something straight here – INTOXICATION DOES NOT INDICATE CONSENT! Whether you are a man, a woman, or transgender, if you are drunk, you cannot legally give consent. Period. Whether I am slightly tipsy and unsure or if I’m completely obliterated drunk and begging for it, any sexual contact that occurs while I’m so incoherent is deemed sexual assault by the majority of states in this country.

    This is nonsense, as most commenters here probably recognize. Being “slightly tipsy” (which of course gets blurred, obscurely, into “so incoherent”) is neither rape, nor is it “deemed sexual assault by the majority of states in this country.” In point of fact, no states recognize being slightly tipsy as meaning the imbiber is incapable of consenting.

    Also, no states consider being “drunk” (god knows what the writer means by this) mean one is unable to consent. What foolishness. No wonder especially young women think regret sex or intoxicated sex is rape. They’re being fed this nonsense all over the internet.

    Like

  66. farkennel February 17, 2015 at 05:09 #

    Theres ponies?

    Like

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. the Revision Division - October 13, 2013

    […] OBSERVANT: Hypothesis: It’s only rape when he doesn’t fall in love. […]

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  2. Well, well, well – look at this. Is the conversation about #rapeculture starting to take on a shade of sanity? | judgybitch - October 16, 2013

    […] http://judgybitch.com/2013/10/10/hypothesis-its-only-rape-when-he-doesnt-fall-in-love/ […]

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