It never rains, but it pours…..

22 Oct

Dear lovely readers,

I have some fabulous news to share with you. But first, I’m gonna whine about my white lady problems.

So, the reality of the PhD is kicking in, and I am coming to understand exactly how much work this stupid degree will entail. I spent the entire fucking day today filling in the most rage-inducing bureaucratic clusterfuck of paperwork otherwise known as a “grant-application”, a process which apparently employs every pinhead fucktard on the planet. Seriously, who designs these applications?

paperwork

I have also begun the process of tracking all the literature that describes an actual, quantifiable benefit arising from big data analytics across five sectors of the global economy, a document that will constitute the bulk of my literature review and that I will, with any luck, publish as a separate paper.

It’s a shit ton of work.

Hitting my research goal today, and filling in the grant application made it impossible for me to post earlier than this.

Now, in addition to the PhD and the blog, I decided to try my hand at writing a novel.

novel

And true to form, I didn’t just write a novel – I was a complete asshole about it. I have combined present perfect and simple past tenses in a way that makes grammar Nazis go full bore Third Reich, but that perfectly imitates the way the tenses are used in spoken English. It’s in the first person, with multiple narrators and a fractured narrative. Sometimes the narrators change from one sentence to the next, and the narrative fractures from one paragraph to the next. My main protagonists are both men, and the story is set during wartime. Oh yeah, I have an omniscient narrator, too.

soldier

What do I know about men in combat? Men facing down an enemy? Men being the enemy? Men who face the choice between killing and being killed? Men who experience all the horror and joy and exhilaration and boredom and fear and courage and despair and invincibility and utter vulnerability of being at war?

What do I know about that?

Fuck all. But I know men. I begin with the assumption that every emotion, every feeling, every response, every reaction is a part of who they are as human beings.

So I did what few women do: I wrote a story with a male protagonist, set during war.

Think about that. When men write, they very commonly write female protagonists. From Anna Karenina to Madame Bovary to Lispeth Salander to Hester Prynne, men have always written deeply nuanced, fully realized, fully human women.

lis

Women tend to write other women. Outside of genre fiction, they rarely write male protagonists.

So it’s unusual to have a woman write not just one, but two male protagonists.

Here’s my wonderful news: I have been accepted for representation by a literary agent in New York with a client list of some very big, prize-winning authors.

PhD

Book

Blog

Three children

Husband

Home

I simply can’t do it all. Something has to give. The work we are doing here is far too important for me to give up entirely, so here is what’s going to happen.

avfm

All future work (I’m aiming for every Friday) will appear exclusively at A Voice for Men. I’m working under the direction of the editorial team there, who will assign me topics and issues, and I will continue to lend my voice to the most important civil rights movement in the culture. This blog will remain up, and I will post links to articles as they appear at AVfM.

But my daily rants are over for the time being, as I chase after my dreams.

It’s scary, dear readers, but as the saying goes:

scare

Wish me luck, and I’ll see you at AVfM!

Lots of love,

JB

57 Responses to “It never rains, but it pours…..”

  1. Liam October 22, 2013 at 01:12 #

    I will miss the daily rants, but good for you!

    Chase your dreams. Heaven knows few enough of us do.

    I know I’ve got a few kicking around here somewhere. Maybe I can find one and dust it off…

    Like

  2. M3 October 22, 2013 at 01:17 #

    Good luck in your endeavors! Hopefully this won’t put an end to your new YouTube channel?

    Like

  3. Rolf October 22, 2013 at 01:20 #

    

    Again, well done!

    Like

  4. comslave October 22, 2013 at 01:55 #

    You don’t happen to have a blue shirt with a big red S on it, do you?

    Like

  5. Vlad October 22, 2013 at 01:57 #

    From one PhD student to another: good luck. Aim high, you might miss the target but at least you are not shooting yourself in the foot.

    Like

  6. CarbSanity October 22, 2013 at 02:00 #

    JB: Public comment on Wooo’s provocative calling-out of you?

    Like

  7. judgybitch October 22, 2013 at 02:20 #

    I’m not sure what you are talking about.

    What is a Woo?

    Like

  8. Jacob Ian Stalk October 22, 2013 at 02:22 #

    Utterly predictable. Men’s rights are just the latest disposable product on the great supermarket shelf of feminist-empowered narcissism. Yugogirl.

    Next…

    Like

  9. Astrokid NJ October 22, 2013 at 02:47 #

    Wow.. A book.
    You know why some men write women very well, right?

    So you know the formula for the reverse. Luckily, you already possess the necessary stuff LOL

    PhD
    Book
    Blog
    Three children
    Husband
    Home
    I simply can’t do it all. Something has to give.

    Wimminz can have it all! LOL

    JB.. I think the dream job for you.. from the perspective of a rank-and-file MRA.. would be a columnist on some major newspaper.. pissing off the Marcottes and Valenti on a weekly basis. Ah.. wouldnt that be fun.

    Like

  10. Senior Beta October 22, 2013 at 03:03 #

    Damn. A chick that talks like a sailor writing about combat. This old man Viet Nam vet can’t wait for it.

    Like

  11. redpillwifey October 22, 2013 at 03:27 #

    Good luck JB!

    Like

  12. Xayadvara October 22, 2013 at 03:56 #

    “Men’s rights are just the latest disposable product on the great supermarket shelf of feminist-empowered narcissism.”

    -_^ – Sounds like a cheap shot. It’s simply a matter of priorities, and JB has her primary objective outlined early on. To help the army win the battle, the most visible move might be to seam into the opposition’s flesh – but even those that simply whisk dull blades, or help heal wounds or simply scout do their bits – no need to belittle their efforts just because there is no ballad written about it.

    Like

  13. cxj October 22, 2013 at 04:43 #

    This makes me sad 😦

    Apparently Price @ the Spearhead is possibly on his way out as well? What a bummer 😦

    I’ll be checking out a voice for men every friday 🙂

    Like

  14. Gordon Wadsworth October 22, 2013 at 04:52 #

    Congrats, JB. Paperwork is my kryptonite as well. Good luck with your project.

    Like

  15. Roxanne October 22, 2013 at 05:44 #

    Well, if you want something done, ask a busy person. I’m delurking to thank you for all your writing that’s given voice to my thoughts and feelings since discovering you a month ago. And to salute you for doing so much … and maybe, just maybe, getting me off my tush. I have four kids, a husband a home and a business, but a nagging need to do more. I’ve been letting my very busy life become an excuse, but there is more to be done. I may have to scratch “reading blogs” off my list and start writing. Remember, you should always pay yourself first — take care of yourself so you have enough fuel in the tank for your very full days. And thanks again for inspiration!

    Like

  16. feeriker October 22, 2013 at 06:12 #

    I spent the entire fucking day today filling in the most rage-inducing bureaucratic clusterfuck of paperwork otherwise known as a “grant-application”, a process which apparently employs every pinhead fucktard on the planet. Seriously, who designs these applications?

    Aw, c’mon now, JB, this is the 21st Century. NOTHING of importance can be accomplished today without offsetting it by wasting time, money, and effort to enable otherwise unemployable, oxygen-thieving fucktards to justify their existence. By filling out these pointless forms, you were conferring upon these pitiful creatures an ability to pretend to work, a way to justify the air they breath and the food necessary to keep them alive. Absent red tape, why, these creatures would be institutionalized – or just wither away from starvation and die. You surely wouldn’t want THAT on your conscience, now would you?

    But anyway, hang in there. I’ll look forward to your weekly contributions over at AVfM.

    Like

  17. kineli October 22, 2013 at 06:19 #

    will miss the daily’s but hey thanks from a NZ man.

    Like

  18. wtfwtf13 October 22, 2013 at 07:03 #

    WISHING YOU ALL THE VERY BEST DEAR JB !

    Dalai Lama must have been dazzled by women like you when he said “Western women will save the world ”
    He was probably using telescope focused on the right subject.I doubt he would have made the same statement if he were seeing using normal vision.

    Like

  19. eddiejc1 October 22, 2013 at 08:04 #

    Congratulations, JB! I hope you will let us know when your book is published!

    Like

  20. Adam October 22, 2013 at 09:52 #

    Congratulations and best of luck on your endeavours.

    Like

  21. ar10308 October 22, 2013 at 09:57 #

    Good luck, JB!

    Like

  22. APO October 22, 2013 at 10:04 #

    I loved the daily blog but at least I can still look forward to Fridays! You certainly have a lot on the table. I wish you the best of luck.

    Like

  23. Sebastian October 22, 2013 at 10:24 #

    That is some workload. Great respect and best wishes! Although I’ll surely miss this blog, which I only stumbled upon recently and greatly enjoyed. I myself have contemplated starting a blog lately (used to have one a few years back), but decided against it while I’m writing my thesis. Instead, I’ve come to seriously consider writing a book on misguided and destructive notions of equality, once the PhD is done. Content-wise, after the research and reading I’ve done, it’s definitely possible. And considering public opinion on these issues – yeah, this one scares me. I’ll keep your advice in mind.

    Like

  24. Spaniard October 22, 2013 at 11:11 #

    Who is going to take care of the children?

    Like

  25. judgybitch October 22, 2013 at 11:26 #

    I only work early in the morning before everyone is up, and my working day ends when they get home from school. The late afternoons and evenings are just for family.

    If I was willing to compromise on that, I would have time for everything. But I’m not.

    So, under qualified liberal arts graduates AKA teachers take care of them during the day, and I do the rest!

    Okay, okay, my husband does a lot of the work, too, once he’s home.

    😛

    Like

  26. Joel Daniels October 22, 2013 at 12:16 #

    Aw man!

    Like

  27. James Thrice October 22, 2013 at 12:24 #

    Most male authors write women because most readers, editors, librarians, teachers, and book reviewers are female. The running joke is that you can’t write a young novel (middle grade reader or young adult) with a realistic boy protagonist because none of the editors can ‘relate to the character’. The last most successful young novel with male lead in recent years was Harry Potter, which had a female author and effeminate boy. Even male authors have to write their boys as borderline girls to get into the young novel section.

    Like

  28. Sarah October 22, 2013 at 12:59 #

    Harry Potter was effeminate to you? What, because he wasn’t an alpha male type?

    Like

  29. Calvin A October 22, 2013 at 13:05 #

    WTH? I just find your blog and you stop? You should give up some of your dreams to keep the rest of us entertained. 🙂

    Like

  30. Feminism Is A Lie October 22, 2013 at 13:09 #

    Well, that was unexpected. I will miss your rants, but I am very happy for you. A big congratulations and best of luck. I look forward to your contributions at AVfM.

    Not to sound like I am trying to one-up your wonderful announcement, but you know, writing a novel is something I have considered, but mostly pushed it aside as a crazy idea. My life experiences have lead me to know and to know of some very, very interesting people, many of whom happen to be men. I would love to tell my story about these people in some way. I have jokingly been encouraged to write a book about everything that’s wrong with feminism and social justice today, but you know…that could still happen one day. Whether it’s from me or someone else, it needs to happen and it needs to keep happening until the message is understood.

    Thank you for all your work on this blog, it has truly been a mind-opening experience for me. Let us know when the book is published.

    Like

  31. James Thrice October 22, 2013 at 13:18 #

    Because I grew up in foster care. I’ve never seen a boy openly weep about missing his mommy that HE NEVER MET. Harry Potter, IMO, started out as a normal boy, then hit puberty and grew breasts.

    Like

  32. Southern Man October 22, 2013 at 14:55 #

    Sad, your rants were one of the highlights of my daily blog read. Also, you’ll be honored to know that while I was surfing Taco Cabana’s free wi-fi last night JB came up as a “known hate site.” Sure glad our Internet Overlords are protecting me from all that hate. Good luck and looking forward to your AVFM columns! I bet they don’t let you curse quite as much though. I’ll miss that.

    Like

  33. Goober October 22, 2013 at 14:59 #

    Entitled much?

    Like

  34. brigadon October 22, 2013 at 16:13 #

    You should be careful who you associate with.

    Like

  35. Sean October 22, 2013 at 17:15 #

    Oh, God, not AVFM.

    Like

  36. LostSailor October 22, 2013 at 18:23 #

    Best of luck JB. Very encouraging sign that you already landed an agent for your book, as that can be the hardest part, and you won’t get into see the top publishers/editors without one. Can’t wait to read the novel.

    Like

  37. Jane the Grad Student October 22, 2013 at 18:27 #

    Ah, shit! And more importantly, congratulations!! I’ve got my own hands full with just the hubby and the PhD program; never mind the three kids or the novel. You rock my little world. Keep the faith, sista, and I’ll see you on AVfM.

    Like

  38. tj October 22, 2013 at 21:01 #

    Congrats and keep kicking ass, JB

    Like

  39. brigadon October 22, 2013 at 22:35 #

    could you at least mirror the posts here for those of us that don’t care for AVFM?

    Like

  40. judgybitch October 22, 2013 at 22:35 #

    Yes. Absolutely!

    Like

  41. brigadon October 22, 2013 at 22:36 #

    Awesome, thanks. I sometimes disagree with you, but I still consider you an ally.

    Like

  42. TheBibo Sez October 22, 2013 at 22:43 #

    As one of the editors at AVfM, I am HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY you’ll be writing with us!

    OK, calm down…

    The editors, writers, and activists at AVfM are honored and humbled to have the great voice of JudgyBitch join us in the struggle for the human rights of men, boys, and their families.

    – August

    Like

  43. CarbSanity October 23, 2013 at 02:42 #

    Not trying to stir up trouble for Wooo or anything but, you know, just sayin’…..

    Like

  44. Eric October 23, 2013 at 03:06 #

    Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn never grow old.

    Like

  45. Eric October 23, 2013 at 03:07 #

    So look you up on Fridays? Good luck, JB.

    Just keep on keeping it real.

    Like

  46. Erik Norén October 23, 2013 at 03:33 #

    Chapin is the reason i sometimes hesitate to call myself an MRA. Because from what i’ve heard from him i consider him a political activist for the right rather than a political activist for men. Would i be more accepting of a political activist for the left using mens rights to argue his points since i support more government support than he seems to? Maybe, but i think not. Tho granted our right politicians here in Sweden would be left in the US.

    Like

  47. Ed October 23, 2013 at 11:49 #

    Congratulations and good luck! Thank you for what you wrote on this blog.

    Like

  48. The Real Peterman October 23, 2013 at 15:27 #

    Good luck to you!

    Like

  49. Robert October 23, 2013 at 16:54 #

    Congrats, JB. But we will miss you in this little corner of the ‘net. (Although maybe not so little.)

    Like

  50. Fred Flintstein October 24, 2013 at 00:44 #

    I love you and will miss you, JudgyBitch…..
    I am working hard to afford a J.B. of my own and support her in style as a partner in life.
    Sometimes, though, I do wish women would like me just for me, and not for what I can provide. But that is not the reality at least right now, for me.
    It seems like…if I provide, maybe then they will love me, but not the other way around….
    Anyway, your writings have been great, I will miss them…and, congratulations!

    Like

  51. Liam October 24, 2013 at 01:16 #

    Y’know, it sucks, I have spent most of my life trying to avoid women who wanted me just for my money, having been brainwashed by our culture into believing that I shouldn’t want a woman at least in part for her beauty and she shouldn’t want me at least in part for my wallet…

    I wonder if I could have done better in my social life if I’d been willing to flaunt the wallet a little bit more. I mean, I’m a computer programmer. Not the most alpha of guys (not the least, either), but a damn sight better earner than probably 90% of the country. That ought to be worth SOMETHING, right?

    Like

  52. Fred flintstein October 24, 2013 at 14:06 #

    Regarding the war story……here is a minor me of my own….
    Last Fourth of July (us Independence Day) there was a little rain,
    So most everyone was standing on a covered porch of the house we were at.
    Something went wrong where they were lighting off fireworks….one delayed somehow, lit another nearby…..and it shot onto the porch!
    It landed right in the big pile of fireworks yet to be lit.
    They all went off at once.
    I was a bit to the side, moved back a bit to avoid the flaming projectiles.
    Others scrambled for cover.
    One woman was disabled, and could not get out of the way.
    A man shielded her with his body.
    She was a bit too heavy to just carry off, and she could not walk.
    Another woman, instantly got behind me, and held on….holding me in front of her
    As a human shield.
    No one asked me if that was alright.
    It was just assumed, that as a man, I would take the shrapnel and sacrifice my body,
    For any woman present.
    Of course, I did, and she was ok, I was not hurt…
    But I was kind of surprised by the implicit assumption,
    That is was taken for granted that I would shield any female from harm,
    At the expense of my own body.
    How much more so, if women were in combat….
    Women’s lib……suddenly doesn’t apply, when women are in any danger at all.

    Like

  53. cnibbana October 25, 2013 at 22:53 #

    I began reading your blog just a few short months ago. A few weeks ago I was reading the comments of another post and there was mention of you monetizing the blog and you said it wouldn’t be worth it or it wouldn’t produce enough income to justify the trouble (or something to that extent). Up until then I hadn’t realized your blog wasn’t already monetized (I have a talent for overlooking ads) so I clicked on your archive and suddenly realized your blog was only a year old. At that very moment I thought to myself, “she won’t keep this blog running for long, it’s too much trouble without any real payoff”. I’m sad to see that I was right, and much sooner than I expected. Almost a year to the day from your very first post.

    You are a remarkable writer. I wish you could see the opportunity you have here with your blog to create something fun AND profitable, so that it would remain a priority for you and not a hindrance. Look at sites like dooce.com. She has a similar wit, albeit with a different message, but has managed to create a loyal audience and financially successful blog. I can understand something has to give with your busy life, but as a selfish reader who loves your writing and your message – I hope you can find a way to keep the blog alive. Go ahead and monetize it and enjoy some profit. Your loyal readers will still be here.

    Like

  54. eddiejc1 October 26, 2013 at 20:27 #

    Just one request, JB. I doubt that you will be publishing your book under the pseudonym “Judgy Bitch” so when it comes out could you please let us know what name it IS under so we can order it? Thanks!

    Like

  55. Liz October 27, 2013 at 12:46 #

    “Here’s my wonderful news: I have been accepted for representation by a literary agent in New York with a client list of some very big, prize-winning authors.”

    Holy f*ck, JB, that is OUTSTANDING! I’m so happy for you!! (and seriously envious) Go for it.

    Pick today the path you would like to see yourself on five years from now and choose one. I’d dump the PhD, but that’s me.

    Like

  56. Liz October 27, 2013 at 13:04 #

    BTW, I’m sure you’ll do a great male perspective. There are women authors out there who did a fine job with it. The author of The Outsiders was a female (think she was 15 when she started it), Bridge to Terabithia. Those two readily come to mind.

    I like writing from a male perspective, too, when I write/play with characters. I think I’m a bit better with men than women.

    Like

  57. Perro November 4, 2013 at 20:11 #

    “The author of The Outsiders was a female” S.E. Hinton. She wrote a number of books with a young male first person narrator. She was very good at it.

    Like

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