An important correction: I was wrong

10 Mar

Way back on May 25th of last year, I wrote a post about the charm of American women and men.  In that post, I wrote that Benjamin Schwarz is gay.  He wrote an-op ed in support of gay marriage with Caitlin Flanagan and I quite wrongly thought he himself was gay.

He is not gay.

In fact, he got really upset and sent me a few emails, and I promised to publish a correction.

So here it is:

Benjamin Schwarz is not gay.

Sorry about that, Benjamin.  There is nothing worse than some pissant little blogger in the far dark corners of the internet getting your sexual orientation wrong.

My bad.

Lots of love,


22 Responses to “An important correction: I was wrong”

  1. John March 10, 2014 at 00:10 #

    Always important to correct incorrect/unworkable statements and beliefs no matter how small. That’s progress. Have no idea who that guy is but well done JudgyBitch. And no way are you a pissant blogger in some corner. You are well thought out and well thought of, well read and well read. Thanks.


  2. Paul Elam March 10, 2014 at 00:30 #

    “pissant little blogger”

    I demand a retraction.


  3. Congo Sam March 10, 2014 at 00:44 #

    You shouldn’t have. Progs like him don’t publish corrections. He wouldn’t return the favor, believe me. The Golden Rule is alien to progs. It’s not like doing the right thing would convince him you’re human; you’ll always be the Loathsome Threatening Other to a creature like that.

    Also it’s funny as hell when gay-ally progs make a big public production of telling everybody how straight they are.


  4. judgybitch March 10, 2014 at 00:50 #

    I did think his reaction was a little over the top, but I’m guessing he has a bad case of “googlemyselfitis” and he will read each and every one of the comments posted here.

    Who cares if someone thinks you’re gay? He called it defamation that seriously impacts his life.

    Uhm, okay. Maybe.

    Personally, I think he’s giving the blog a little too much credit, but whatever.

    I was wrong.

    He’s not gay.


    That’s sufficient evidence, right?


  5. Wilson March 10, 2014 at 02:43 #

    Gaydar says: “Closeted”


  6. Velvet March 10, 2014 at 03:14 #

    OMG, you’re such a – you know – smudgy witch.

    I’m so glad I know he’s not gay, totally changes my perception of him. Totally.


  7. Kyle March 10, 2014 at 04:31 #

    Wait, so you’re a pissant blogger? But I thought special snowflake??? Isnt that the rule now? Every woman who blogs about gender relations deserves “special snowflake.”


  8. Kyle March 10, 2014 at 04:37 #

    I’ve had my suspicions, but that is the last straw. I don’t believe that you are actually a woman. What woman would ever admit that they are just a little pissy blogger with no sway in the universe? I’m calling bullshit. Women don’t do self depreciating humor.


  9. John March 10, 2014 at 04:50 #

    I thought that too. No way is this stuff coming from a women. The honest self and other assessment… All that stuff that is just natural to everyday male conversation.

    So I checked her out on you tube. She’s just as smart there but also hot.

    So it’s either a giant scam or she’s real. If it’s a scam, well we all know that nothing worthwhile comes from a scam.

    If she’s real, well, good.


  10. Spaniard March 10, 2014 at 09:46 #

    Well, I am prog (“progre” we say in my country) I am pro homosexual marriage (we have it in my country) but do not get me wrong: I AM NOT A FAGGOT!!!


  11. Average Joe March 10, 2014 at 12:06 #

    I guess, JB’s ironical style of writing plus some problems on Benjamin side(for sure(not picking on him(no, really)))… explains why lost his cool.

    Interesting, did he called her “peasant blogger”? Or is it JB trying to straw man herself, because she is filling guilt?

    JB, would you mind to do your emotional portrait related to your childhood, with descriptions of how had overcame(hate verbs) it all? It would be really important for people with similar stories, but less success.


  12. Pilgrim of the East March 10, 2014 at 14:12 #

    you should have written – “he isn’t gay and judging by his reaction to that claim he’s clearly homophobic”


  13. judgybitch March 10, 2014 at 14:33 #

    Average Joe,

    You wanted to know my thought processes for responding to things like demands to post corrections, so here it is:

    After I wrote about Stuebenville, some little poseur decided to claim he was part of Anonymous and demanded I take my post down and apologize to all rape victims. My answer to him was “go fuck yourself, you little piece of shit”.

    I will not give in to intimidation.

    I went to school on Shona Sibary, a columnist at the Daily Mail, for being a shitty parent and illustrated my post with copyright protected photos, which I stole. I have no right to use those images. She contacted me, demanding I remove the photos, her husband contacted me and ultimately I got an email from the legal department at the Daily Mail demanding I remove the photos.

    My answer again was “go fuck yourselves”. Legally, I have no right to use the images, but I don’t care. Go ahead and sue me, assholes. Had they decided to go ahead and pursue me legally, I would have drawn the process out as long as possible, costing them thousands of pounds in legal fees and then capitulated at the last minute, after making sure maximum amounts of money were wasted.

    Because fuck you, corporate bullies.

    When two individuals sent me graphic, violent comments, I posted their email and IP addresses. I’m not allowed to do that under the terms of my WordPress agreement, but fuck you if you write death and rape threats. I will post your email address. I took the addresses down after a few days, but it worked. The threat levels suddenly tapered off.

    When it came to Benjamin Schwarz, I initially ignored his demands. I thought he was reacting kind of hysterically, but subsequent emails felt …. like he was genuinely upset. Personally, I think it’s dumb for anyone to get that upset over being called gay. Big deal. Who cares? Then I realized that Benjamin really was upset, and it is not for me to decide what he gets to be upset about. He wasn’t pulling some bullshit legal silencing tactic like Shona, or trying to intimidate me like Anonymous, or threatening me.

    He was upset over being called gay.

    I don’t feel guilty. I feel like Benjamin is a person who has every right to his own feelings and I was wrong and it matters to him and even though I don’t particularly understand the source of his angst, I have an obligation and a duty to respect him as a person.

    So I posted the correction.

    Benjamin never called me a pissant little blogger. I called myself that. Because it’s true. There are millions and millions of voices on the internet and billions and billions of words and the thought that this little blog is seriously going to compromise his public persona is pretty laughable.

    Ultimately, Benjamin is a guy who felt defamed by a post I wrote nearly a year ago. It costs me nothing to apologize and offer a correction. It means something to him as a person.

    It’s a “practice what you preach” moment. Do I respect men as people? Do I respect their right to have feelings I don’t agree with?

    I do.

    I won’t respect anyone who is bullying, threatening or intimidating me, but Benjamin did none of those things. He asked me to post a correction.

    So I did.

    Because I was wrong.

    It happens.


  14. criolle johnny March 10, 2014 at 17:46 #

    If you make a mistake, you correct it.
    That’s what grown up people do.
    Sadly, that seems to require an explanation to so many people.


  15. caprizchka March 10, 2014 at 19:43 #

    Yeah. Me too. Why shouldn’t they share the misery? Glad to hear it. 🙂

    I think that declaring one’s sexuality or *sexual limit* loud and proud is right, true, and I respect it. Watch this:

    I DON’T WANT A CAT! (Looking over my shoulder in case I get reamed by a bunch of big angry fat women.)


  16. Spaniard March 11, 2014 at 09:33 #

    Have you ever travelled from Europe to Africa in just 35 minutes, by boat, Caprizchka?


  17. Spaniard March 11, 2014 at 17:25 #

    Ok, now you have it in castellano:

    Oh, Dios, ¡qué mujer!

    ¿Es una broma? No importa. Quiero beber un vino tinto contigo, rubita.


  18. caprizchka March 11, 2014 at 19:14 #

    Añoro esas cosas rápidas y lentas, papi chulo.


  19. Spaniard March 11, 2014 at 20:16 #

    Entonces vente a la Península, preciosa. Soy tu Cicerone aquí.
    ¿Eres hispánica o es que hablas muy bien castellano?


  20. Chris P. March 12, 2014 at 03:01 #

    I think your use of those images would be judged a fair use in a Court. See: For a brief discussion. Cheers!


  21. caprizchka March 12, 2014 at 16:27 #

    Yo soy un autor, así divorciada, y por lo tanto rica más allá de sus sueños más salvajes. Yo soy de todos los países. Siempre he querido una pequeña criatura verde. Tal vez te debería enviar dinero para preparar mi llegada? ¡Gracias!


  22. Modern Drummer March 12, 2014 at 22:07 #

    Clark- Florey’s advice in a nutshell- be cruel and bipolar


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