Edited to add: I fixed the link.
Feminists are always weeping and moaning about the sexist double standards they all have to put up with nary mentioning a peep about the sexist double standards facing men.
Big surprise, right?
Take a look at this chart from The Rational Male and then head on over the read what he has to say about this.
But remember folks, this is all because patriarchy! Men, it’s your own fault these things are true! You built this system designed to benefit you at the expense of women!
Patriarchy: apparently it still needs a bit of work.
Lots of love,
JB
judgybitch 
Nice. And unfortunately very accurate.
LikeLike
Hey JB, the TRM link doesn’t seem to take you to the right page.
LikeLike
The link is broken so I can’t comment on his site, but the thing I always catch about double standards is one they often rely on stereotypes or imagined experience; and two they often show a lack of empathy about just what many of the “other” experience. For instance women complain about a double standard in beauty requirements, but often ignore the limited options available to men and don’t consider the possibility that men just aren’t talking about their fears and insecurities; on the otherside I personally know women who are struggling with all of the first 6 things on the list and isn’t any easier for them, than it is for us.
LikeLike
“But remember folks, this is all because patriarchy! Men, it’s your own fault these things are true! You built this system designed to benefit you at the expense of women!”
It’s incredible that anyone is stupid enough to believe that that’s true. The irony is that if men actually did that this society would be MUCH more stable.
LikeLike
Spot on!
LikeLike
Fortunately only a couple dozen or so of those apply to me.
LikeLike
“For instance women complain about a double standard in beauty requirements,…”
Actually that’s yet another female double standard trope:
LikeLike
I think there’s a lot of truth to these — but you guys do have at least one advantage. For people who are “late bloomers” — who don’t really grow up and become ready for mature relationships until around their thirties or forties — the outlook is generally more positive for men than for women. Yes, men can overlook a lot when they are looking for a woman — boring personality, low-paying job, unimpressive looks — but as women get closer to forty, they start noticing that the men in their age bracket are often more interested in women ten or even twenty years younger. In contrast, many women find men several years older than them quite attractive.
Part of this is biology — if you want to have a family, it doesn’t make sense to date women who are at a much greater risk for infertility or fertility problems. But this preference for youth seems to even apply to many older men who are “done” having kids. Several years back, at a potluck at my former church, I was seated at the same table with a divorced man of about forty who was complaining to his friends about the dating market. The twenty-three year old he was dating actually had the gall to want a baby of her own (I guess she didn’t “get it” that the fact that he already had two children from previous marriages was supposed to fill her tank in this area!) One of his friends commiserated that she must just be after his money. I guess he was looking for a woman who was forty inside and “done” with childbearing just like he was (but probably without actually having had any kids), housed in a hot twenty-three year old body. Poor guy! He couldn’t win for losing!
I don’t know the details of his divorce from his second wife, but I did hear that, soon after the birth of their baby, he’d bought her a piece of exercise equipment — a treadmill or bike or something — because he wanted her to take off the little bit of weight she’d put on during pregnancy. So she was faithfully working out — but then he came home one day and saw her working out and told her to stop, because all the exercise was making her butt too big. I know, you just can’t help but feel sorry for the guy! All he wanted was perfection, and I’m sure he paid good money for that piece of equipment, only to have it supersize her butt!
And now, there he was paying child support for two children, and stuck dating young hotties who were just after his sperm and his wallet. Too bad he couldn’t have just acclimated himself to a bigger butt.
Of course, I realize most men (my husband included) are actually quite tolerant of the ways that our bodies change through the course of pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding. They may have similar thoughts to this guy, but are a little wiser to the truth that even if we ask, we really don’t want to hear that we look our age and have big Bertha butts! I kind of see this guy as the sort who might fit into the candor faction in “Divergent.” He just kept verbalizing about what he wanted, and pushing himself further and further away from it with every word. But who knows, he could be happily married now for all I know. There seriously are some hot young things who have no interest in becoming mothers…however, such a woman may also have no interest in “mothering” him in his old age!
LikeLike
Wait, a reasonable post on JB, and no OTT off topic response from Spaniard? This is a beautiful morning indeed!
LikeLike
Absolutely no doubt about it, there is a far wider range of body types that a woman can have and be desired than a man can have.
LikeLike
So I read the article you linked to and my main problem with it is it ignores the effect of gay or “gay” male esthetics in art and culture. Those classical Helenistic and Roman adonises were often created by artists who were male and had regular sex with other men, in societies which tolerated or encouraged that. In theory the art has less to do with sexual desire and more to do with male virility and power being a civic virtue (it keeps barbarians at bay and society in order, or so it was believed), but I’d be shocked if Phidipeus or Antonitus or any other ancient sculptor wasn’t having Galatean dreams when making their manly beauties. Similarly it is widely accepted by historians, though hardly provable that the Renaissance masters were also heavily interested in other men; it’s admittedly harder to credit the rumors, but Donatello’s “David” is believed to be his lover made divine (he almost certainly didn’t really look that good). I also know that gay men are involved in the arts and photography today, Bruce Webber a famous gay photographer is responsible for most fashion and romance covers with hot men on them. Even Superman didn’t have 10 pack abs that shown through his clothing until gay artists like Phil Jimenez started drawing him, in fact he (Superman) was probably better described as portly, or if being generous, beefy, until the mid 50’s.
Secondly, after what is it now, 26 years of Homer and Marge I have trouble believing men are more forgiving about body type. Add to that shows like According to Jim and the Sopranos, and I see pop culture showing heavy men with slender women more often. I know those are all fictional examples and Hollywood ugly would still rate an 8 on Hot or Not for the rest of us, but among people I know and neighbors I see, more often if there is a difference in physical attractiveness the women is better looking sometimes a lot, and if it wasn’t obvious I’m not just gay, I’m a superficial abs loving gay (not really). Significantly anecdotal, but I’m a believer in the meme as it was originally coined, that data is the plural of anecdote, on one dating site I use, there is an o.k. looking man who identifies as straight and is seeking a gay sugar daddy and he has to be hot (no fatties please) but not as hot as he is, so I’d believe that men straight, gay or other are pretty intolerant of deviation from their preferred standard of beauty. I can’t speak with authority about women, what say you Janet and Susan? How tolerant are you ladies of your husbands letting themselves go?
LikeLike
On the other hand, while she vehemently denies it now, my mother used to shame my father about his expanding gut when I was little by encouraging us to call him Jabba (as in the Hutt); and even now she openly ridicules his weight and size in public. I’ve never heard him complain or comment about her weight gain with age. I suppose I lost my point previously in the history lesson, yes I agree it’s an unreal double standard, regarding men having beauty requirements, I just don’t see men as being as open and forgiving as you seem to believe, but remember I’m competing in the gay meat market.
LikeLike
What you’ve got to deal with is simply the same thing everyone else gets in a certain world. The world in which sex > companionship has as many drawbacks as it has advantages, and one of those… features, if you will, is that perceived attractiveness is more important than any other qualities, at least prior to the deed, where prowess becomes somewhat relevant. The potential for incompatible ideologies, interests, desires, philosophies etc are all things best left to regret ignoring in the morning :p
However, there is another world too, and one one enters it, it’s a “red pill” of it’s own. It’s a magical place where, so long as my partner keeps being themself, and doesn’t lose it and start acting against their own values, I could honestly give a crap if they grew three extra arms…
Sometimes I miss shallowness, and it has it’s merits, but even when opportunities to return to that world come up, I can’t bring myself to bother trying :p
LikeLike
October the First, arrives my mail order bride from Minsk, Belarus.
A 24 year old hottie ( I am 44)
She is a nurse, she speaks quite fluent Spanish, so I got for her a job as a nurse in a private hospital.
Although I will pay most of the bills, she will have her own money, and this Belarusan women they know how to handle it in a sensible way.
At the moment, I do not have to marry her at all cuz she already has her papers completely legal. In the future, maybe, but it will be a titanium armored contact.
I she is behind my sperm (the alias of my wallet) she can´t cuz I already have a vasectomy. And she is very young to crave for children.
Everything is perfectly planned.
LOL
In the meanwhile, I still going out with fellas, getting drunk, smoking cigars, fishing, whoring, and (trying) to have one night stands with the female tourists around. Sometimes happen.
This is a perfect MGTOW lifestyle.
F****K Cristina Almeida, Lidia Falcón and all Spanish feminists.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:)))))))))))))))))
LikeLike
Well, hopefully you were honest with her about the vasectomy, and also are hopefully wearing condoms for all your slutting around.
LikeLike
For my having fun around ALWAYS use the raincoat. But she does not know about vasectomy.
No problem. As said, everything is planned: she will start thinking about that in her late 20s (hopefully) By then, she will left me due to the age gap. Or maybe before.
I am counting as well with hypergamy, and “natural hypergamy” due to age. But when that occurs, she won´t have the “insurance” (baby) from me. But I am completely sure she will find around a good potential “empujacarritos” (the guy who pushes the baby stroker)
Then I will be retired and living in a 100 hundred people village with my dog.
LikeLike
So you think people should marry without being honest about the fact that they can’t or don’t want to have children?
LikeLike
No. I am not being honest. At all.
I am being a rat.
But, what if she gets pregnant? It can happen. In fact, I bet it will happen.
Then, I will tell her: “There are two possibilities: the Holy Ghost came to see you or you have been a naughty girl around. That mess is not my responsibilty”.
No problem at all with married girls being naughty around but YES problem about trying to decieve with paterniy fraud.
LikeLike
Honestly, my main reason for gently encouraging (I really try not to be a nag) my husband to eat healthy and get at least moderate exercise is that I want to have him around for as long as possible, and also for him to feel as good as possible. I’ll also admit that I like for him to be clean-shaven, even on the weekends, if we’re going out somewhere in public. But it’s not like I’d want him to look any better or younger than I do, LOL.
And he seriously never complains about my appearance. The one exception I can think of is when a friend gave me a really big shirt that I found very comfy to wear and he commented that it made me look much larger than I really was. He also prefers long hair on me, so I don’t get it cut short anymore.
A while back I said something about wanting to get some new makeup; I hardly ever wear makeup and what I had got really old and started to clump together, so I threw it out. But now that I’m fifty, I’ve been feeling like maybe I should get in a regular habit of “putting my face on,” like most of my girlfriends are doing. And he doesn’t see why I’d want to do that; he doesn’t think I need to. And I honestly prefer having a clean face, so maybe I’ll just be one of those old ladies that never wears makeup.
I think it’s kind of nice to give each other the freedom to let go a little bit instead of worshipping youth like our culture does, so long as we’re not eating or couch-potatoeing ourselves into an early grave, or looking sloppy and unkept. There can be a happy medium between the two extremes.
LikeLike
Vasectomies and tubal ligations don’t always take.
LikeLike
0´0001% risk.
LikeLike
“I know those are all fictional examples”
Well, yeah. Fiction often does a poor job of reflecting reality. When was the last time you saw a tv show about a wife who dumps her husband to find a more handsome man? Probably never, yet 75% of divorces are sought by the wife. When was the last time you saw a fiction where a woman forced a man to have sex against his will? Yet the latest research shows that that is nearly as likely to happen as the other way around.
LikeLike
I don’t care for the show, but does Two and a Half Men count? It started with Jon Cryer being dumped by his clearly shrew of a wife, and was rebooted with Ashton Kutcher of all people being unreasonably dumped. Like I said in a follow up response I seem to have lost my point, in the message you responded to, I agree with my initial statement that Mr. Tomassi was amplifying, that there isn’t a double standard regarding beauty requirements for women, but I’m not sure women are as inflexible in their standard of beauty as his article suggested, and there is something to be said for the gay male esthetic.
LikeLike
Of the women filing for divorce, what percentage do you really think are filing because they’re looking for a more handsome guy?
LikeLike
Several of the items on this list appear to have been written by men with exceeding low standards.
LikeLike
Spoke too soon, he’s up there yapping about his mail order bride.
LikeLike
Not handsome, necessarily, but newer, more exciting, shinier, or whatever?
Nearly all of them.
Even if there isn’t a specific guy in mind, there is an inkling of that guy, waiting to be filed by someone fitting that mold.
Of all of my friends who got divorced, which is a not insubstantial number, i can’t think of a single one where there wasn’t a new guy just miraculously appearing within days of her giving him the news. (And since I’m no fool, I know there was no “miracle” there at all. She was already with him before she gave her husband the news)
Of the 80% ish of divorces initiated by women, my experience would lend me to believe that a very significant majority of them are initiated because the woman has found someone new.
LikeLike
Well put, J. If you’re married based on superficial reasons like “she’s hot” then you’re royally screwed.
because “she’s hot” doesn’t last.
I’m a perfect case in point.
When I met my wife at 18 years old, I was 6′-4″ tall, weighed 250 pounds, and was about 10% body fat. I competed in strong man competitions. I had a 58″ chest, and a 24″ neck, and could bench press well over 400 pounds.
I was stricken with ill health at 27. Psoriatic arthirtis that essentially crippled me for four years before I got it under control.
During that period, my physical activity level dropped by 90%, but because I’d grown accustomed to eating a certain amount, and was too ignorant to recognize that I needed to change that to match my new activity level, my caloric intake didn’t drop for something like three years afterwards.
At the end of that four year period, I had expanded to 320 pounds. I’m still not obese, and I still have a huge amount of muscle, but I definitely have a spare tire now, and I’m not even remotely the man I was at 26.
Now I have heart problems stemming from a mass that is screwing up the electrical signals in my heart, so my activity is back down again (i’m now 34). I just can’t win.
If my wife had married me for my physical properties, she’d have left me years ago…
LikeLike
Sorry, fat fingers. My chest was 54″, not 58″. I wasn’t a freak of nature…
LikeLike
Congratulations! You do realize that you’ve been married nearly half your life! So what do you think has kept you and your wife together for this past sixteen years?
LikeLike
Yeah, and he’s keeping it classy too
LikeLike
Sad to hear about the physical stuff mate, but I can offer both sympathy and empathy. What is it about the mid-thirties that makes our bodies hate us so?
In my case I’m lucky, all I need are a get more teeth out and some physio, so hopefully I can get back to work in a month or two…
But yeah, if my babymomma was into me for my looks I’d have been gone about 6 months into the whole thing. Food is such a thing. I’m 6’2″ and weighed 75 kilos from 16-21, then blew my knees and jumped to 100kgs. Got that down through my “homeless drug addled bum” diet, only to quit drugs, get mentally healthy and move in with my partner, who loves my cooking. Pushing 95kgs again now…
LikeLike
So for those of you who are happy in relationships with women today, what would you say are the key differences between your women and the “typical” Western women that make many MRAs feel like male-order brides are their only hope for marital bliss?
Also, for those of you who are happy in relationships with women today but had very bad experiences with women in the past (this probably doesn’t apply to Goober since it looks like he married his childhood sweetheart), would you say that your current happiness is more closely related to a) your current partner being a better person than the women you were with in the past, b) you being a better person than you were in the past, or c) a combination of both?
LikeLike
Hmmm… Actually for me the MRA thing and relationships aren’t even in the same neighborhood. For me, it’s simply a logic and ethics thing. I was raised by a feminist single mother who believed gender and sexuality were constructs, and encouraged me to play with dolls, express my feelings, and try really really hard to not be heterosexual.
Her views on gender were pretty mainstream feminism for her time, and coloured her relationships with all men in very dark terms. The only justification she could muster for having married my father and having three children by him was that he’d kept asking her out, so she said yes just to shut him up
So, my understanding of masculinity was as pushy, semi-rapey people, which wasn’t helped by turning up to state schools with absolutely no guidance in my own masculinity, other than total suppression thereof, and promptly got bullied further down the path to PTSD related mental illness.
I’ve since got better. Therapy was awesome, though hard, and required a lot of brute-force rewiring. A good 70% of the rewiring I had to do directly related to feminist dogma making me feel depressed, worthless and subhuman. When I first started bringing this up, I was awestruck by how few common, otherwise lefty folk did anything other than nod in agreement and/or offer me hugs, support, or shared stories of their own issues with same. This was particularly striking in the environment I was in, wherein I lived with my girlfriend and went to therapy for BPD, which is vastly underdiagnosed in men. The three rounds of therapy I did had two male “patients”, myself and a gay guy who dislikes feminism on some fronts more than me (there’s a story involving an SO who broke his arm, but the police did nothing about it because they couldn’t tell who was at fault without boobies :/).
So, yeah, slowly came to the realisation that, despite my issues with my father, which were sudden, horrible, but ultimately brief, my issues with my mother all relate entirely to an ideology that actively promoted and encouraged her mental health issues, and spawned my own, leading to an otherwise intelligent young man to waste 20+ years as a homeless drug addled suicide bunny.
I still remember the last direct communication I had with her, I was telling her how I’d lost my girlfriend and all my friends through the same circumstance, and didn’t know what to do… She immediately jumped to asking me if I’d hit her. When I answered “No, but she did the fourth, sixth, ninth, tenth and twelfth times I caught her cheating on me with a good friend and confronted her about it”. My mother chose not to reply to that email.
Yeah, in the end, feminism may well fit with some people’s personal perceptions and experience, but it automatically negates and ignores the lived experiences and inner lives of half of humanity, and if anyone needs more than that to invalidate “Feminism = Equality” then, well, maybe they picked the best uni degree they could possibly scrape up a pass mark in :p
Oh, and FYI, I hate the term “MRA/MHRA”… I’m certainly an activist (apparently) and definitely wish to promote the rights of men and boys, but I don’t want to fall into the many ideological and semantic traps Feminism has, starting with gendered titles…
But yeah, a world in which, whenever I broke up with a girlfriend while living in a share house I wasn’t automatically rendered homeless because “That’s what guys do”, or getting arrested whilst being beaten by my (now) ex partner because I must have hit her to make her do that. Yeah, still not that big on my issues = everyones, but more flabbergasted by Feminists general point-blank refusal to accept these truths on any level, and to actively do and say things that I’m not allowed to do, because I’m somehow evil. Like victim blaming, or minimising the incidence of horrible things, thus claiming I should shut up.
I actually had a falling out with a friend from therapy because she went all Laci Green and #yesallmen at me, when she’s never. Been. Raped. Or. Assaulted. But I’m bad, because some guy commented on her hat one night, and she got scared.
Meanwhile, I’m recovering at that point from the psychological shock of reading Feminist definitions of rape, leaving out the gendered stuff and realising that, by Feminist definitions of rape, I’ve been raped a lot more than I’ve had sex. Including the fact that I had an undiagnosed mental illness with promiscuity as a symptom (and boy did I have it), feminism claims (reasonably, from a certain platonic perspective) that this invalidated my ability to give informed, unbiased consent. Ergo, all the sex I had from virginity to diagnosis (trust me, no-one needs this number. No-one.) was rape. But not, because I have a penis, which magically grants me wishes or something.
Seriously, all my doodle ever did for me was let me pee standing up, get me arrested, and made me a popular rent boy back in the day.
A final note: I’m both male and (technically) Jewish by birth, so if one of the “shadowy global conspiracies that secretly runs the world” that I belong to by accident of birth could, I dunno, fix my back, pay my rent, sort out my teeth and help me get ahead, that’d remove these burdens from my horribly oppressed girlfriend, kthxbai.
LikeLike
Oh, as for “western Women” stuff, I care not personally. Nor Feminism “poisoning women’s minds” or “making them 99% monsters” or any of that. All I know is, I stopped banging people who’ll bang me just cuz I’m pretty (and with good timing too, that wasn’t gonna last) and started looking for someone who’d gone to the trouble of developing a personality. In that regard, I’ve noticed in my own circles that guys don’t tend to coast on looks quite so much. At least in the straight world. To be fair, I’ve yet to have earned much in excess of 15k in any given year of my life, and in most if was far lower. So clubs full of shirtless guys with abs and pecs and girls who drink $30 cocktails have always been beyond both my price range as well as my interests.
Never really been one of the masses, so buggered if I know what they get up to…
LikeLike
Susan;
Put more simply, a man’s stock rises as he ages, while a woman’s stock declines.
We start our adult lives with one sex having the advantages, and the other not so much, and trade off later in life. The issues in the list above mainly apply to the times when women have the advantage, which is about 20 through 35. After 35, men start getting the advantage back.
At least, they used to. Feminism has whittled away at this, with draconian divorce courts and so forth, to take away a man’s advantage later in life. They love their advantage early in life, and lament the fact tha they eventually lose it, so they’ve lobbied the courts and govt. to “level the playing field” when really, all they’ve done is worked to keep men at a disadvantage.
At 34 years old, with a paid for house, and a $50,000 boat and a damn good paying, prestigious job, I’d be pretty attractive to a lot of 20-something women if I hit the dating market right now.
That is, until my wife theoretically put me through the wringer and took everything, and ended up leaving me without any of those advantages.
(Note, the scenario is entirely theoretical. Wifey and I are happily married, and I gladly push the stroller with my kids around, despite how much Spaniard might say it is unmanly.)
LikeLike
I’d almost make a point of doing anything Spaniard thought unmanly 🙂
LikeLike
http://blog.match.com/singlesinamerica
For years, Dr Helen Fisher has been studying single Americans and their attitudes toward dating. Among her findings she has found that women are clearly pickier than men. 21% of men compared to 31% of women say they will only date someone the same ethnicity as them, 18% of men compared to %28 percent of women say they will only date someone who is the same religion, and men were less interested than women in a partner who shared their level of education or their political views.
LikeLike
33% of men and 51% of women would not date a virgin.
LikeLike
I’m glad things are so much better for you now, and also that you’ve found such a great girlfriend! And I want to add that I think it’s horrendous they way my own country (the U.S.) treats little boys — and also any very active child of either gender — putting them on drugs rather than just changing the school curriculum to accommodate more active kids.
By the way, I’ve been trying to track down the actual questionnaire that was distributed in that survey to college students, by which they came up with the one in five college women are raped statistic. Do you or anyone else have a link to that?
LikeLike
Yes, I understand why it’s the way that it is — I just see it as better to have your “stock increase” with age, because the older we are, (generally) the wiser we are, and the more we can appreciate what we’ve got and make the most of it.
LikeLike
I would shag almost anything but I would not date non caucasian, non Christian (atheist and Jew are welcome, anyway)
No problem at all with heigth, weigth, age, political option, incomes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
*”Zorro” (male) is an astute man. “Zorra” (female) is a whore.
*”Golfo” (male) is a “gulf”. “Golfa” (female) is a whore.
*”Hombre de la farola” (lamppost man) is a drunken. “Mujer de la farola” (lamppost woman) is a whore.
*”Cabaretero” is a showman. “Cabaretera” is a whore.
*”Loco” is a mad man. “Loca” is a whore (or a gay man).
*Public man is a politician, Public woman is a whore.
*”Ramero” is a florist. “Ramera” is a whore.
*”Perdido” (“lost”). “Perdida” is a whore.
*”Gato” is a mechanical instrument to lift a car. “Gata” is a whore.
*”Hombre de la calle” (street man) is a man from the mainstream. “Mujer de la calle” (street woman) is a whore.
*”Puto” is gay man. “Puta” is a whore.
And much more…
LikeLike
“Easy man” is a calm and friendly man.
“Easy woman” is a whore.
“Cheap man” is a man who does not spend much money.
“Cheap woman” is a whore.
And more and more…………….
LikeLike
Spain is full of whores and catholics.
LikeLike
So is there such a thing as being sex-positive without all the feminist baggage? And what does being sex-positive look like for men and women who aren’t feminists? And do you (general rule) think there are different sexual rules for women than for men, other than whatever rules that each individual decides works for him or her?
LikeLike
You bet.
Most brothels for Sq. Kilometre in the world.
Awsome.
And there is a lot of Catholic churches, too. Sometimes next door of the brothel.
LikeLike
So you can sin and go straight to confession — maybe drop your “raincoat” in the offering plate.
LikeLike
LOL, LOL
LikeLike
I like the current Pope.
Ratzinger looks like and old faggot.
LikeLike
Like AN old faggot.
I can imagine him perfectly in Chueca (the gay hood, in Madrid) the Day of the Pride, dancing in the top of a chariot.
LikeLike
I’ll take a crack at this, sex-possitive and feminist sex-possitive ought not be different in any meaningful way. The latter being feminists who’ve adopted the ideas of the former. What is probably going to be different is sex-possitive and sexually irresponsible, what critics of sex-possitive feminism may object to is that some more vocal members are advocating sexual irresponsibility under the guise of sex-possitivism. Sex-possitive attitudes would say don’t be ashamed of enjoying sex, even outside the confines of a committed relationship; the comparable irresponsible attitude for men might be prove your virility by fucking everyone you can, and for women it may be validate your self worth or equality with men by being promiscuous (tit for tat). Another example may be sex-possitivism says if you’re on an app or website for meeting people, don’t pursue people whose goal is diifferent then yours, while irresponsible people don’t care. What I mean by different goals, is many services allow you to identify the level of commitment your looking for, one-time anonymous hook-up, friends with benefits, extramarital, casual dating or serious relationship, so a sex-possitive person who is looking for a hook-up will only pursue other people who are looking for hook-ups, and politely decline others, while an irresponsible person doesn’t care about the havoc they wreck. In “meet markets” irresponsible people say you shouldn’t have to be responsible for your own safety, you shouldn’t need friends to watch your back and you shouldn’t have to pay attention to your drink etc… sex-possitive people say have condoms or birth control, go with friends, watch your drinks and if you do go home with someone new, yay for you but make sure you to discuss and agree on what’s about to happen (is it just a blow job or ful on BDSM or something else entirely), and also what expectations you have afterwards (it’s just this once or we’ll see how we like it and discuss again afterwards or something else). I strongly agree with Dan Savage that something straight people need to learn from gay people is how to talk about and negotiate sex, too many straight people believe that sex is just PiV and your done, but even for straight people there is so much more, and if they talked about it as frankly as gay people have to (sucks to get home and find out your both tops, or your into oral and hate anal while he’s the opposite, or perhaps both submissive which isn the same as bottom) maybe straight people would have less heartache.
LikeLike
I certainly hope he isn’t confusing convents for brothels.
LikeLike
ROFLMAOYSST
LikeLike
YSST is new to me, you know your old when the slang doesnt become immediately clear to you.
I looked it up so I know it now… and you know you’re curmudgeonly when you don’t want to adopt the new slang.
LikeLike
Yes. I could rant on like others, but basically, if you’re ethical and look after yourself, go for it.
I’d comment further, but I just woke up, and my inbox was full of Spaniard. Outta be a law…
LikeLike
Funny you say cuz the other day I was with a professional who was wearing a latex nun uniform.
LikeLike
I’m old, too. I had to look it up to see how to put the letters. and actually copied and pasted it in. 🙂
LikeLike
The current pope is a leftist dipshit. But then I don’t like any of them anyway.
LikeLike
This kind of leftiest priests are very dear in Spain, cuz they fought against the fascist dictatorship. A lot of them went to jail or were executed by firearm.
And the regime which killed and imprisioned these priests used to call itsef “national- Catholic”.
So, is normal that Pope Francis has a lot of sympathy in this country.
I could see in Europe there are particular areas where the leftiest side of the Church of Rome it is quite popular among people. One is Spain, for sure. The other one, if I am not wrong, is Ulster.
LikeLike
Well, the enjoy masturbation one is definitely wrong. It should be adapted that only women look down on women for masturbation, however. I think men expect it, but my experience growing up was a lot of my peers and female adults said that it was disgusting and wrong and if you did it something was wrong with you. Or you can’t get a boyfriend (which should be so easy considering you have a vagina, and that’s all men care about) so you have to pleasure yourself.
I do think, for both men and women, there’s a lot of sexual repression and stigma. That said, I think that the whole ‘sex economy’ is actually a valuable insight into why that is, and it’s women, not men, that are the driving force behind this kind of shaming activity. To enjoy yourself sexually is letting the sisterhood down, yo…ahem.
LikeLike
Uh…please, describe how and why he’s leftist, followed by an appreciable response as to why that’s a bad thing? Lol. He gives a shit about the poor, what a cunt! Better than Benedict “Hitler Youth” Ratzinger.
LikeLike
IT’S NOT EASY BEING A GUY!!!!
I DON’T WANNA LIVE N THIS PLANET ANYMORE!!!!!
LikeLike
Fwiw he’s just a trolling lunatic making up stories.
LikeLike
Yeah, because if it’s one thing gay people are notorious for, it’s less heartache.
The snark is to a purpose: Is there any reason at all to believe that the ‘Savage approach’ leads to better outcomes, or does it just lead to more talking?
LikeLike
men actually are getting more and more ridiculed and controlled by women today, like if a man does something, the same thing as a woman does, he is then labelled, women are getting away with way to much these days, if she beats her boyfriend, nothing happens to her, the boyfriend or husband however ends up charged and profiled for taking a beating from the women. double standards gotta go
LikeLike
A fairly accurate summary — and understated in places, if anything.
Dismal, though. By the time I’d read it, “the radical notion that women are adults” was beginning to look like rather an outlandish premise. Mind you, I think my hopes started to sink years ago, with the publication (and success) of How to W@nk Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving. A twelve-year-old boy can figure out how to masturbate (and do so without a round of applause and ‘affirmation’ from his peers). Yet apparently many Western women cannot.
I want to be a tree.
LikeLike
There are many more double standards that are taken for granted. Here are some:
Nudity in the film industry, yet feminists argue for more. There’re many penises on display, when was the last time you saw a vagina in detail in any movie…..never happened.
Female reporters allowed in male locker rooms while athletes are are undressed. This never occurs in female locker rooms, and even if it did it would still not compare. Male athletes are the pinacle of male society, so the comparison would be male reporters allowed in a female models locker room while they’re all naked and spread with legs apart. When that happens, then there’s no double standard.
Last example I would being up is the medical field. Men done visit the doctors or fail to get check ups as much because they don’t want to be naked on display for everyone. That’s the main reason, yet it’s taken for granted and no one cares. Everytime a man has to go to the hospital or visit the ER, it’s guaranteed his dick is going to be on diplay for many, especially females. With females, they’re covered up immediately even though their vag is not all out like a man’s penis. There’re clinics with full female staff geared towards woemen with nothing like that available to men.
So instead of bitching like these feminists are always doing, they should just stfu and be happy. There’re many more issues I can state as well, but no one cares so it does not matter.
LikeLike
“Female reporters allowed in male locker rooms while athletes are are undressed. This never occurs in female locker rooms, and even if it did it would still not compare. Male athletes are the pinacle of male society, so the comparison would be male reporters allowed in a female models locker room while they’re all naked and spread with legs apart. When that happens, then there’s no double standard.”
Could it possibly be that female reporters are allowed in because male athletes don’t mind? — or maybe if they do mind, they’re afraid of getting labeled as “shrinking violets” so they just don’t say anything?
Since female athletes aren’t necessarily all that likely to identify with feminists — I’m not going by any statistics here, just by my own childhood observations that the athletic girls tended to prefer playing with boys, and also tended to NOT want any special treatment because being treated like one of the boys was a great honor for them — I’m guessing that female athletes would be a lot less likely than feminists or women in general, to ask for differential treatment regarding locker room interviews.
I’m wondering if the greater incidence of female reporters going into male locker rooms may actually be due to the fact that there’s a lot more public interest in male sports teams than female ones. And therefore more news coverage.
Do you really think female models all sprawl around on the floors of their changing rooms with their legs spread apart? Presumably, male athletes aren’t whipping their dicks out for the reporters and camera crews, so in what way does the image of naked, sexually splayed models compare with the typical locker room behavior of male athletes? You seem to be saying that for there to be equality, females need to display their vaginas and act like total idiots in front of male reporters — so do you feel male athletes are currently in a similarly humiliating position?
LikeLike
Susan, you seem to be missing his point.
It’s not about putting on a show for the cameras: it’s the fundamental difference between male and female nudity.
Full-frontal female nudity shows almost nothing of a female’s genitalia — since a woman’s genitals are internal, their opening is concealed underneath her body between her legs, and even the opening itself is obscured by her pubic hair. On the other hand, full-frontal male nudity shows absolutely everything — a man’s genitals are external, are positioned prominently on the front of his body, and his pubic hair serves only to frame them (and perhaps make them appear somewhat smaller). Moreover, like it or not, a man is judged these days by how big his ‘packet’ is, and telling a man that “it doesn’t matter” (or worse, to “get over it”) doesn’t seem to remove the fear of inadequacy or convince him that his manhood does not equate to the thing between his legs. Regardless of how strange women might find all of this, it appears to have very deep roots in the male psyche, and trying to rip these roots out is not going to change men and is likely inhumane.
Granted, many men are immodest and will show off — but what of those who wish not to have the world gawk at what they’ve got? …As you say, you’re unlikely to hear objections from them, because they’ll be labelled “shrinking violets” and only humiliated further. (You can hear it now: “What’s the matter? Something to hide?”) The medical point made in the post above is a vast can of worms which has yet to be opened. Anyone who has heard a group of young nurses “letting their hair down” knows they’re apt to be as lewd as any hen-party: were you in hospital, would you want a bunch of leery frat-boys discussing the dimensions of your vagina in the staff-room? I know I wouldn’t. (And if male nurses did this, they’d be fired, anyway.) But none of this will be addressed.
It truly is another way in which men get the shittier end of the stick, yet nobody seems to notice. Or care.
It’s so depressing: feminists have really done a number on women, to the point where being a woman has become synonymous with being solipsistic and indifferent to male suffering. It’s not just the egregious examples like “Big Red” singing Cry Me A River about male suicide, or the idiotic and spiteful way in which feminists caricature the MHRM. After many decades of women’s rights’ victories, men are still constantly told to be more and more exquisitely considerate of women’s feelings (“ban bossy”?!), but when does one hear the converse?
This chauvinistic agitprop has been going on for years: the entirely predictable result is that it now never even enters into many women’s heads to consider men’s feelings at all, with increasing numbers of women behaving as though men have no feelings — or at least none of any importance. That’s teetering on sociopathy. When an environment is created in which sociopathy can thrive, be sure that it will.
LikeLike
I see your point. I actually think it would be a good idea to do away with locker room interviews entirely. Some folks would rather not be naked in front of anyone — even a member of their own sex who’s fully-dressed and therefore not in the same boat.
There’s all this info about body language and how it’s better for both people talking to be on the same level — whether standing or sitting — so it seams reasonable to assume that it also creates inequality for one person to be in a business suit or business casual while the other’s in the buff.. All other celebrities get to set the terms for their interviews — such as by meeting over lunch — so why not athletes?
LikeLike
I responded buy my post seems to have disappeared. Suffice it to say that you make great points, and I think we should do away with locker room interviews entirely.
LikeLike
Agree with you completely, Susan. Alas, naked interviews seem to be part and parcel of our increasingly moronic age. They’ll probably continue.
LikeLike