I’m gonna repost this because I still find it hilarious: HYPOTHESIS: it’s only rape if he doesn’t fall in love

26 Sep

 

 

So I’m gathering up stories about one night stands, trying to determine if there is any merit to my hypothesis that it’s only rape when he doesn’t fall under Princess’s spell.

 

Here’s what I found.

 

bed post

 

Story Number One

No author identified.

 

A drunken hookup leads to second drunken hookup leads to long term love.

 

My senior year of college, after completing the first issue of the school paper, of which I was editor-in-chief, I hosted a party for the staff in my apartment. Afterwards, we all decamped to the student center in a boozy haze.

Then, one small, innocuous thing changed my life forever: I had to go to the bathroom. On my way back, I ran into this scruffy guy from my English class, or, as I should’ve known him, my fiction editor, the only member of my staff I forgot to invite to my party. I stopped him and apologized. We ended up chatting for awhile: minute one, his hand was on the edge of the railing of the wheelchair ramp I was resting on but by minute thirty, it was around my waist.

There are lots of articles denigrating one night stands, encouraging people to go for them but insisting that they not fall in love. Well, I didn’t fall in love with my one-night stand: I fell in love with the guy who asked if he could stay and make me breakfast that first night, who invited me over to his room to chat later that week, who genuinely seemed interested in my summer internship, and who took me out on a date and thought I was cute and a little clumsy when I was really just drunk (don’t pre-game dates, guys).

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/howaboutwe/my-one-night-stand-became-long-term-boyfriend_b_4073400.html?utm_hp_ref=women&ir=Women

 

Okay, so drunk on the way to the bathroom, he has his hands around her waist and it leads to sex.

 

I know you want it

I hate these blurred lines….

 

 

And if he had never called her again?

 

Hmmmm.

 

From the Date Rape Fact Sheet:

 

Bottom line, if a girl is intoxicated she cannot consent to sex and you could be charged with rape. It does not matter whether you knew she was intoxicated, it doesn’t matter if you were intoxicated too, all that matters is that she was not in a state of mind to consent and therefore it is rape.

 

http://teenadvice.about.com/od/daterape/a/daterapeguysfyi_2.htm

 

So chicky above was raped not once, but twice.  Is her boyfriend technically a serial rapist?

 

Story Number Two

By Amanda Chatel (what is up with all these women named Amanda?)

But of my single friends who went through the one-night stand phase and came out on the other side to talk about it, there have actually been a few who made something real from that evening of drunken lust. While some ended in long-term relationships, a couple others (and I’m still mildly shocked by this), actually ended up in marriage.

Basically, a one-night stand doesn’t have to leave you entirely cold and lonely. Why? Because love exists and sometimes you can find it where you least expect it: next to some guy named Leonard, who’s missing all but one tooth and you don’t technically recall bringing home in the first place.

Love. It’s so fucking beautiful!

http://www.thegloss.com/2012/12/19/sex-and-dating/how-to-make-one-night-stand-into-love/#1

 

Erm, okay.  So black out drunk sex with a guy you don’t even remember bringing home is not rape when it leads to love?

 

And what if it didn’t? What if Leonard pulled on his pants and bailed without so much as a “see ya later!”?

 

Then what?

 

call 911

 

Story Number Three

By Monica Beyer (about someone named Meredith)

 

[Meredith] took a job doing manual labor installing hardwood floors and spent her time off partying. “My professional and personal lives were very interconnected because my co-worker and boss lived below me, so we’d install floors all day, then hang out all night, drinking until 2 then getting up at 6 and doing it all over again,” she shared. “It was crazy. I drank and dated too much. It was a time of excess.”

On St. Patrick’s Day, they were hanging out together in downtown Honolulu drinking and having a wonderful time. “I remember I was wearing mint green skinny jeans and a fedora,” she shared. “Those were crazy days!”

 

http://www.sheknows.com/love-and-sex/articles/994821/confession-i-had-to-get-to-know-my-one-night-stand

 

The hookup led to pregnancy, which led eventually to marriage.

 

But it all started with drinking and excess.

 

And what if things hadn’t turned out that way?  What happens then?

 

Story Number Four

By Anonymous

 

I met him at the local dive bar; he was working behind it and I was drunk because of him (and not in the romantic sense). The night was fuzzy… But it was something about his hands. He definitely was never my type and still isn’t. He wore camo shorts and a nasty, ill-fitting Clockwork Orange t-shirt. My friends called him dirty so I went home with him, mainly because the sex was bound to be epic- it always is with the unkempt ones.

 

Yes, they ended up married.  He asked for her phone number and they took it from there.

 

What if he hadn’t?

 

http://www.imboycrazy.com/2011/10/reader-submission-it-started-as-a-one-night-stand/

 

Story Number Five

By Periel Aschenbrand

When a beautiful fashion designer embarked on a crazy year of one-night stands, the last person she expected to meet was the man of her dreams.

Devastated by the end of a ten-year romance, New Yorker Periel Aschenbrand, 37, picked up men in bars, turned into a bunny boiler when an ill-fated fling with her boss went wrong and had sex with a fireman who couldn’t string a sentence together outside the bedroom.

Then she got drunk at a cousin’s wedding, broke every rule in the dating-for-keeps book and embarked on what she assumed would be nothing more than a dirty weekend.

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2392928/The-sleep-want-guide-dating-How-year-night-stands-led-woman-man-dreams.html

 

First comes alcohol,

Then comes oral,

Then comes marriage,

So what’s the moral?

 

Story Number Six

By Rose

 

The first time I had a real date with Chris, I knew it would be hard to resist him. I was already madly in love with him from some prior encounters, and I invited him over for dinner. I cooked him a real Sicilian meal, which I knew he would love, being that we are both Sicilian — lots of oranges, red onions, olives, garlic, not exactly the best set-up for good breath and romance, but the two bottles of wine I bought helped us forget anything bothersome.

Next month marks four years. We are engaged and more in love than ever.

 

http://nymag.com/thecut/2013/06/fucking-on-the-first-date-8-women-tell-all.html

 

What are to make of these stories?  How do we reconcile them with this:

 

As someone who was raped after a party, I often find myself falling for rape-apologist language. The guy that raped me would be most likely be horrified if I had accused him of rape. The guy that raped me is a good person. In fact, the guy that raped me was someone I found sexually attractive and had been flirting with for several weeks. I remember accepting his invitation for a ride home from a party.

 

http://www.feministe.us/blog/archives/2013/01/07/rape-consent-and-responsibility/

 

You liked him. You found him attractive.  You got drunk.  You went with him willingly. You fucked him.  It didn’t end with chocolates and rainbows and a diamond ring.

 

ring

 

Is that why it’s rape?

 

How do we make sense of this:

 

Okay, let’s get something straight here – INTOXICATION DOES NOT INDICATE CONSENT!  Whether you are a man, a woman, or transgender, if you are drunk, you cannot legally give consent.  Period.  Whether I am slightly tipsy and unsure or if I’m completely obliterated drunk and begging for it, any sexual contact that occurs while I’m so incoherent is deemed sexual assault by the majority of states in this country.

 

http://stopviolenceuw.wordpress.com/2011/08/23/consent-while-drunk-is-not-consent/

 

So all the ladies above are actually married to or in a relationship with their own rapists?

 

You know what?  Fuck this bullshit.  Fuck all of it.  And fuck women who think flinging their pussies at some hot guy on a first date SHOULD lead to love and marriage and a baby carriage.  Are you stupid?  Seriously.  What the fuck is wrong with you?

 

You don’t fuck anyone on a first date.  These aren’t even dates, for the most part!  And if you do, then you don’t get to wake up the next morning and scream rape when he puts you down in the gutter with all the other deluded sluts combing jizz out of their hair.

 

gutter

 

Have some fucking self-respect.  Have some fucking brains!  And if you can’t manage to do those things, then own your own shitty choices.

 

The odds of some man making you his Princess Forever after you deep-throated him on a 30 minute introduction are slim to fucking none.

 

How in the love of god is this NEWS?!?!?!

 

You know what I take away from these stories?  That women, despite all their protestations to the contrary, are deeply driven to bond with the men they have sex with.  There is no such thing as “casual sex” when it comes to women.

 

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201303/sexual-hookups-and-psychological-health

 

Rape is a tool women use to punish men for not feeling that same impulse to bond.  Not that men don’t want or feel compelled to bond with women, but that One Particular Man did not want to bond with HER.

 

And he will suffer for that.

 

And somehow, as a society, we can go to the wedding of dear friends who are getting married after a night of black-out drunk sex culminated in a bona fide relationship, and at the exact same time, donate money to RAINN to prosecute the men who had black out drunk sex that did NOT end with a tuxedo and a veil and fluffy white gown.

 

bride

 

What the fuck!?!

 

I am now personally refusing to believe ANY woman with a “date rape” story.  Fuck off.  I stand by one of my earliest posts.  You weren’t raped.  You’re a whore.  Which is actually an insult to whores, who are the least likely to be deluded into thinking having sex 3 minutes after meeting will turn into a long term relationship.

 

http://judgybitch.com/2012/10/22/54/

 

The worst, the absolute worst thing about all of this is how real, actual victims of rape get painted with the same liar-liar brush as the delusional sluts.  This story makes my stomach churn.  It’s fucking terrible.

 

rape

 

This last Tuesday, August 13 2013; three guys dragged me to an empty, grassy parking lot, and two of them took turns raping me.

After the first guy was done the second seemed reluctant to continue but the other guy egged him on, called him a pussy. By then it didn’t hurt as much.

Until they stuck something alien and sharp inside my anus. The lady who did my rape kit said she wasn’t sure what it was. I still bleed when I use the toilet.

I have no hope of ever getting justice. I have no hope of ever feeling like myself again. There are moments when I seem OK, I can joke with a friend or my boyfriend, I can go and run an errand. Then I flash back. And then the crying starts. And I can’t breathe. And I remember this is my life from now on.

 

http://www.xojane.com/issues/i-was-sexually-assaulted-just-a-week-ago-and-i-have-no-hope-that-my-attackers-will-ever-be-caught

 

You know why the attackers will never be caught?  You can thank all the drunk, stupid, clueless tramps screeching rape when he doesn’t text the next morning, backed up by your favorite ideology: feminism.

 

This needs to change. Date rape is not a thing. The conversation needs to comes to a screeching halt. And in the meanwhile, I think one of the smartest things any man can do is ask.  Ask the lady you are with if she has ever been raped. Listen to her story very carefully.  And get ready to run!

 

run

 

You may not be the first man she can punish for failing to call the next day, but you sure as hell can be next.

 

Don’t be.

 

Don’t fuck a woman you don’t plan on ever seeing again.  Unless you’ve handed her a wad of cold hard cash.  At least you know she understands the deal.

 

hooker

 

And all in all, it’s a pretty good one. Take it from Steve Martin.

 

“I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.”

― Steve Martin

 

So buy it.  The price of mistaking a drunk woman as an adult capable of making her own decisions is way too high.

 

Lots of love,

 

JB

 

52 Responses to “I’m gonna repost this because I still find it hilarious: HYPOTHESIS: it’s only rape if he doesn’t fall in love”

  1. FuzzieWuzzie September 26, 2014 at 15:21 #

    The only part that didn’t confuse me was that women bond with sex. As for the rest, I am so confused. Thinking of Adm. Nelson’s toast on the eve of Trafalgar, “Confusion to the enemy!”, that is pretty much where they want me.

    Like

  2. DPM September 26, 2014 at 16:21 #

    This is utter bollocks. Not because you don’t have a point about “date rape” not being exactly a thing. But because most – the vast majority of women who have drunken one night stands – don’t cry rape. Even if they were hoping for something more. And many don’t hope for anything more. The whole idea that every woman who has a one night stand (drunk or sober – you do know that sober one night stands actually ARE a thing, right?) ends up pining for love is as much of poisonous claptrap as the idea that consent is impossible while drunk.

    [personal history disclaimer: I had numerous one night stands, operationally defined as one-off-fucking without previous courting; some were just that, some led to longer affairs, some I wished led to more, some ended up with the guy wishing for more and me running away in terror at the idea, others were with guys I remained friends with but never fucked again, and the last one was with a man I eventually ended spending the next 20 years of my life with, in a monogamous relationship, still together]

    Like

  3. malcolmthecynic September 26, 2014 at 16:33 #

    This was superb. I’m not sure if I agree totally with the conclusion (I think date rape is probably true at least sometimes, though way, way, way less than is reported), but the overall gist is brilliant. Thank you for that.

    Like

  4. zodak September 26, 2014 at 16:39 #

    amanda chatel also calls it rape when she cheats on her boyfriend:
    http://zpatriarchy.blogspot.com/2013/06/cheating-regret.html

    Like

  5. michael savell September 26, 2014 at 16:42 #

    I would have thought it obvious that women are reversing the 60’s and 70’s free love era.
    Before that it was shotgun marriages,now it’s rape accusations–no mystery.
    Boys and men who are not prepared to get married at a given time should therefore not
    chase skirt.Find an interest,play a game,do what you like but don’t chase jail time.

    Like

  6. Jason Wexler September 26, 2014 at 17:25 #

    I started to doubt the validity of feminism as a worthy ideology, when I was in college and one of my “friends”, kept becoming a rape victim every time she broke up with a boyfriend. In essence the opposite of each of these stories, but leading to the same conclusion. She was a good Catholic girl, don’t you know, sex outside of marriage as we all know is evil and wrong. But she was also a “smart” modern women, so she knew buying without trying was a dumb mistake to make. So she went for a reasonable middle ground, she’d meet guys in church or at work, or through friends, you know the respectable old fashioned way; they would become close, start dating, they’d get “serious” and then “engaged” and would start having sex; then invariably they’d break up, of the eight or nine I recall only one dumped her first. Then the drama starts we’d spend weeks consoling her, because all those times she’d told us she consented, she was being forced to lie by her rapist fiancé. After the third time this happened, I became suspicious, so when she started bragging about how in love she was with the fourth guy, and how great sex was I asked her to be totally honest with us, was she being raped and she said no; when I brought it up later when we were consoling her about being raped by him, no one remembered that conversation. For guys five and six I made sure to ask while using a mini recorder (which should date me), she didn’t make a big deal out of her “rape” by guy five, so I waited for the big kerfuffle about guy six, and played the tape of the conversations where she denied being being raped, and asked her if she was sure she was really being raped. As bad as everything up to now may sound, the really terrible thing is what happened next, before she could answer, I was taken aside by some very committed feminists within our circle of friends and the following conversation happened:

    Feminist: We get why you’re frustrated, she wouldn’t be in this situation if her regressive patriarchal religious beliefs weren’t mixing with her mental illness, to encourage her to fear and hate sex.

    Me: So I’m not insane, you agree she isn’t being raped?

    Feminist: No, she’s definitely being raped.

    Me: You’ve lost me… how, just how?

    Feminist: You know a women always has the right to change her mind and say no, right?

    Me: Yeah…

    Feminist: Well that’s what she’s doing here, she’s changing her mind, her reasons may be stupid, but she still has the right to do so.

    Me: No… you’re trivializing rape. How can an acussed defend himself if someone like (her name) actually goes through with filing charges? That’s just messed up.

    Feminist: He’s a rapist, why sh….

    Me: No he’s not, I can’t believe you’re serious.

    Later another feminist who was better at apologetics, tried to convince me that this young women’s rape claims were valid on the premise that she had consented conditionally, and the conditions hadn’t been met, thus invalidating the consent. It was too late for me though, I may have found that argument reasonable or convincing, if I hadn’t already been told that women have a right to ex post facto withdrawl of consent.

    Anyway the messed up attitudes of the young woman with too much religion, as well as the views of the feminist apologist who tried to bring me back into the fold certainly go a long way towards validating your hypothesis.

    Like

  7. Spaniard September 26, 2014 at 17:27 #

    Well, last night I was with a Swedish (yes, Swedish) professional, and the encounter was so magic that I fell in love with her and I told her.

    I asked her out (non professionaly) and she told me “no, I am sorry, you are charming and you reached me to XTC several times, but this is work. Besides, I am in a relationship”.

    I am devastated. Shoud I call the cops and file “rape”? Maybe I should call her a name, in that moment, such: “you are a whore!” or something.

    JudgyBitch, I think that quote “sex is the most beautiful think that money can buy” is from British Sebastian Horsley, my idol. Not sure.

    Like

  8. Spaniard September 26, 2014 at 17:38 #

    Ah! Catholic girls… plenty of them, here.

    They are the worst. And most of them have “nun issues”. I mean: about nuns spanking their tender teen asses in school to correct their “bad girl behaviour”, getting very wet about that and sometimes going further with the nuns. I find fucking hot all that stories.

    Like

  9. That_Susan September 26, 2014 at 18:47 #

    First, Janet, the only way to prove your hypothesis — that women define drunken one-night-stands as “rape” when they don’t lead to a loving relationship, and as “not-rape” when they do — would be to somehow establish that the women who wrote these drunken one-night-stand love stories are the SAME women who think that any man who has sex with a drunken woman is a rapist.

    Second, do you seriously mean that you would never believe any woman or girl who told you she was raped on a date?

    Third, am I reading stuff into your writing that isn’t there, or am I correct in thinking that it pisses you off to hear about women who did a lot of stupid stuff but nevertheless managed to find love and happiness? I do understand, being a mother myself, that we mothers don’t like stories or movies that might send our kids the message that stupid behavior can bring good results…

    But to my way of thinking, it wasn’t the stupid behavior that brought these young people into loving relationships. It was the fact that they were good and loving people who just happened to be acting stupidly when they met someone who made them see that what they really wanted was to enjoy being with this one other person and make a life together.

    So I don’t think a young woman who already knows that she wants to just find one person to love and settle down with is going to read one of these stories and think, “Oh, it looks like the best way to find the right guy is to start getting drunk and having one night stands.”

    And frankly, we shouldn’t forget that all of these are heterosexual stories, meaning that the other half of the drunken one-night-stand was male. Thus, some men who are acting stupidly themselves, nevertheless do often want to just find that one person.

    Like

  10. Sisyphean September 26, 2014 at 19:24 #

    Devils advocate here (as I am wont to do), but if someone breaks into my house I have the right not to press charges. It doesn’t mean they didn’t do it, only that I decided I didn’t want them to be punished for the transgression.

    Like

  11. Jim September 26, 2014 at 19:31 #

    Are you trying to say they developed spanking fetish from it?

    The more you describe Spain the more bizarre it gets.

    Like

  12. FuzzieWuzzie September 26, 2014 at 19:57 #

    Jason, Good grief! Now, you have managed to further confuse me!

    Spaniard, here is a video for you.

    Like

  13. FuzzieWuzzie September 26, 2014 at 20:18 #

    That Susan,
    The days when a young couple could just ride off into the sunset are over. There is no more connection between sex and commitment as there was twenty years ago.
    The part that worries me about all this is that, a sweet,innocent boycna engage one of these harpies in a tryst and have the whole thing blow up and ruin his life, to a far greater extent than the harpy was exposed to.

    Like

  14. Jason Wexler September 26, 2014 at 20:32 #

    Well, I’m more than willing to answer any questions you have, as to alleviate your confusion.

    Like

  15. FuzzieWuzzie September 26, 2014 at 20:42 #

    Jason, I think that our philosophical opponents would rather see us permanently confused.
    Do you think that they missed that day in school when the story of Alexander the Great and the Gordian Knot came up?

    Like

  16. Jason Wexler September 26, 2014 at 20:55 #

    Your school taught about Alexander the Great? I took an undergraduate course in Classical Greek history and even that didn’t make it to Alexander.

    Like

  17. Paul Murray September 27, 2014 at 00:13 #

    “the vast majority of women who have drunken one night stands – don’t cry rape”

    #NotAllWomen do this, but #YesAllMen have to live with the risk that the one they are with will.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Jason Wexler September 27, 2014 at 00:24 #

    I’m probably about to show how reclusive I’ve become, but is all the use of # an attempt at l33t sp3k3? If it is you should know that l33t sp3k3 tends to follow usual grammar rules for what ever language it’s in. So for instance, #NotAllWomen should be D0n’t # all w0m3n; while #YesAllMen should be Y3s, # all m3n.

    Like

  19. b g September 27, 2014 at 03:32 #

    Hi bear, don’t be pessimistic. I suspect that reality is finally beginning to arrive… it’s their too late realization that there will be no babies for them.

    Like

  20. Paul Murray September 27, 2014 at 04:51 #

    Camelcase phrases preceded by a hash are commonly used to denote topics of interest in today’s social media.

    See https://twitter.com/search?q=%23YesAllMen for so-called “tweets” on this particular topic. There is also a popular website named “facebook” where this technique is often used.

    Like

  21. subviationfulmination September 27, 2014 at 05:10 #

    Don’t tell men to run away from hot-to-fuck women if they don’t plan on seeing them again. Tell hot-to-fuck women not to charge men with rape.

    Wait, how come that didn’t come out the way it was supposed to? Oh, yeah, because I am not showing the same kind of hatred towards hot-to-fuck females as we do toward rapists. I am merely saying “Be ok with your sluttiness. Like really ok with it. Not like these retarded slutwalks. IOW, be a fucking grown-up, for fucksake!”

    Like

  22. Jason Gaffney September 27, 2014 at 10:44 #

    There’s a simple answer to this. Ask the person your going out with if they believe they can give consent while drunk. If they say no then don’t go out with them.
    After all, anything you do after they’ve had their first sip will be non consensual and we wouldn’t want to do anything without their consent.

    Of course if they’re a teetotaler then you’re fine. 🙂

    Like

  23. John Staples September 27, 2014 at 10:57 #

    It’d be more like you saying a person could borrow your blender, then calling the police and having them charged with theft the next day. Or saying they could use your pool (and then they do) and then later pressing charges on them for trespassing.

    Being able to remove consent after the fact is plain and simple insanity.

    Like

  24. Jason Wexler September 27, 2014 at 11:41 #

    Wouldn’t hash marks look more like Roman numerals, than a pound sign? I guess I can see it now since groups of five have the diagonal cross marking…

    Like

  25. Paul Murray September 28, 2014 at 08:14 #

    “Hash” is one of the things it’s called. I don’t know why some people call it a pound sign – a pound is one if these £ . Maybe it’s a holdover from the imperial system of weights an measures in some bizzaro prescientific universe where the inhabitants of earth didn’t adopt the metric system.

    Like

  26. Ark Itekton September 28, 2014 at 10:11 #

    One story in particular seemed to be missing something so I clicked on the link to http://www.feministe.us/blog/archives/2013/01/07/rape-consent-and-responsibility/

    … and read it through. Here’s part of the text:

    “As someone who was raped after a party, I often find myself falling for rape-apologist language. The guy that raped me would be most likely be horrified if I had accused him of rape. The guy that raped me is a good person. In fact, the guy that raped me was someone I found sexually attractive and had been flirting with for several weeks. I remember accepting his invitation for a ride home from a party. I don’t know what I was thinking. I do know that as a chronic drinker it is nearly impossible for others to tell when I’ve had too much. So, doesn’t my drinking to excess, and accepting a ride home from this guy make me at least a little culpable?”

    It’s all pretty much like that, and as I was reading I was expecting the reference to when and how she was raped. My interest wasn’t remotely salacious, but rather in the vein of trying to figure out what these women mean by consent “doesn’t someone’s story of being raped have to include, you know, a rape?”

    And this woman’s story does not. It does not include a rape. All I can gather is that she had too much too drink, had sex, ergo she was raped. She really, really appears to believe this. No force was used, that she describes. There’s no reference to feeling afterwards as though she had been drugged. In fact the guy is all but invisible.
    .
    It’s chilling stuff. She’s so vague I can’t even hazard a guess as to WHY she thinks she was raped. But she does seem to think that as the “chronic drinker” she describes, who had to much, if sex occurred she was raped. And California’s affirmative consent law will no doubt agree with her.

    Like

  27. Jason Wexler September 28, 2014 at 13:43 #

    Laws may in fact support the notion that alcohol precludes consent, but the shitty conviction rate for rape cases should give the rest of us some hope. Apparently juries just don’t agree that drunk sex is rape.

    Like

  28. Spaniard September 28, 2014 at 19:21 #

    Yes, I do.

    Believe me… Spain is a very bizarre country. That is part of its charm.
    But, this particular point is common to all Catholic countries.
    Have you seen “The Magdalen Sisters”? It is an Irish movie about a sadomasochistic lesbian relationship between the nuns and the female pupils.

    Like

  29. Spaniard September 28, 2014 at 20:11 #

    Oh! Thank you.

    I am moved.

    Like

  30. Magnus September 29, 2014 at 07:49 #

    The # is generally used as a topic denotion in social media. On things like Twitter and Instagram the #Topic will become a clickable link that takes you to other tweets about the same topic. And when your topic becomes hot it is “trending” and that apparently is very important.

    Like

  31. Magnus September 29, 2014 at 07:50 #

    “the vast majority of women who have drunken one night stands – don’t cry rape.”

    Of course not. But then again would you risk it? That’s like saying “The vast majority of guys don’t have STDs, so let’s not use a condom”.

    Like

  32. Sisyphean September 29, 2014 at 12:55 #

    That’s a bit of an overstatement on your part. Firstly, women rarely say: “You can have sex with me now.” They hint, they nudge, they wink, they make out with you and grab your crotch but they don’t often say: “Now we can have sex” That may well be because they like to maintain the option to change their mind for as long as possible. So your first premise of “saying you can borrow the blender” is likely more like: she’s hinted you can borrow the blender.

    The other issue is when the determination of ‘this is wrong’ happens. If it happens post facto as you assume in your argument, then absolutely she is withdrawing consent. However If it happens during the event or before when she says no or tries to give hints that say no (which it always amazes me that women, for all the empathy they say they have, never seem to understand that men have a hard time with their hints) then it’s a transgression.

    There are many problems. Men will of course want to say that women always or mostly change their minds after the fact because that leaves them the least culpable. Women will largely say the opposite because that leaves them the least culpable. Add in the mutability of our own memories and there really is basically no way to determine the truth of it. One other even more annoying thing is that women make it clear that they can’t stand wishy washy men who won’t press their intentions, making it very hard for a guy to even have a right choice that leads to sex. If he pushes too far, he’s a rapist, if he doesn’t push enough he’s a gross wimpy creeper.

    Like

  33. insanitybytes22 September 30, 2014 at 14:54 #

    This was really funny, so thanks for the laugh. I suppose it’s not politically correct to laugh about “rape” but for goodness sakes, some women can be so ridiculous.

    There’s nothing subtle about actual rape, you don’t need a flow chart or a multiple choice quiz to determine if you were “raped.” Can you imagine if mugging victims were given a handy dandy chart, some kind of multiple choice Cosmo quiz, so they could try to decide if they were actually mugged? That’s a ridiculous idea. If you aren’t quite certain you were robbed, you weren’t robbed.

    For many modern, younger women, WHO the alleged perp is seems to have a lot more to do with defining rape, then any such things as force or consent. I encountered a woman the other day on the internet who had been “raped” nine times by the same guy. Uh, no. Just no. You’re not going to die admitting the truth, there was obviously something about him that you found sexually attractive. Sometimes it seems as if women will do anything, including persecuting some innocent guy, to avoid simply embracing the truth about themselves.

    Like

  34. wordsIVue September 30, 2014 at 15:40 #

    So we are back to the days when sex was only allowed in a committed relationship. Only, then the sex happened after the commitment. Viva la feminist revolution.

    Like

  35. Alex October 1, 2014 at 05:27 #

    it’s what they used to denote the British Pound in telegrams

    Like

  36. Jason Wexler October 1, 2014 at 13:45 #

    The research I’ve done since the conversation started, suggests the same. Apparently several encoding systems were developed for transmissions and there were two systems which were very similar and one of the differences was that £ and # had the same coding in different systems, when the mistake was discovered the name pound for # stuck in America.

    Like

  37. inexorablefate October 2, 2014 at 13:11 #

    I’m 32 years old, in excellent shape, and good looking enough that, when I was hit by a drunk driver (a woman, no less) and my face went through the windshield–scarring me for life–my lawyer used my “classically handsome face” as an argument to earn me thousands of extra dollars….and yet I am so disgusted by this type of bullshit that I choose celibacy over dealing with the dangers of the dating world.
    Feminists and their asinine allies have taken one of the most beautiful, deeply romantic aspects of life–sexuality–and turned it into something ugly, self-serving and ultimately too perilous to enjoy. It’s so fucking depressing I want to scream.
    Their is great power in women, both in their potential AND their sexuality, yet these feminists are showing a generation that they can be trusted with neither. They take what clout they have, and then expand on it in the most destructive, absurd ways imaginable (affirmative consent, drunk “rape”, etc.), rather than wielding that clout wisely.

    If it weren’t for women like you, or the honey badgers, or #WAF, or my late, lamented and wise grandmother Grace, I would have lost all faith in women and their potential. Keep up the good work, if only so girls have strong, smart and reasonable role models to look up to in this world of narcissistic excess.

    Jesse

    Like

  38. inexorablefate October 2, 2014 at 18:36 #

    The only problem with that approach would be tact. If you are really into the girl/woman with whom you intend to go out, asking such a question might make you seem like some sex-crazed, date-raping weirdo, even though it is surely not the case.

    Like

  39. inexorablefate October 2, 2014 at 18:39 #

    Yes, romance is pretty much dead. People yearn for it still, no doubt, but thanks to pressure from peer groups and brainwashing by society at large, everyone seems afraid to express their feelings. Feminism has made love and romance into some quaint, outdated concept. What horrible, revolting creatures they are, bottom feeders who find sustenance in misery and cultural disruption, all in the name of ego

    Like

  40. corpsepants October 3, 2014 at 18:01 #

    Sort of related, and I’m interested in reactions:

    I dated a man for only a couple of months (I’m a straight female; both in our late 30s). We broke up, and he moved to another state. We remained friendly, and on occasions when we were in the same place, would have sex. This happened a few times over a year or two.

    On a visit about a year ago, I let him stay with me for a couple of days. (The visit was not specifically to see me.) We had sex once or twice. His last night here, we met for a drink, and he bowed out after 1 beer to go back to my house and wait for me. I chose to stay out and drink with remaining friends. I got very drunk.

    When I awoke in the morning at home, he wasn’t there. I couldn’t remember anything that happened after I arrived home. I messaged to ask where he was, assuming he’d gone to the airport. Hours later, he messaged to tell me that my behavior was horrible and he wasn’t sure he ever wanted to speak to me again. In my blackout drunkenness, I “basically forced” myself on him, and he “didn’t know what else to do” and so “went along with it” and then left the moment I passed out. I apologized for any bad behavior and told him I honestly didn’t remember anything that had happened.

    Thus ended our “friendship.” He hasn’t spoken to me since.

    The stats again: drunken female, sober male. Without ever using the word, I feel pretty clear that he’s accused me of rape. Needless to say, this isn’t exactly a situation I can talk over with my peers.

    I’m curious as to people’s thoughts here.

    Like

  41. That_Susan October 3, 2014 at 18:26 #

    Hi, since you don’t have any idea what really happened, I’d just take this as a sign that you need to stop getting blacked-out drunk. So that if anyone ever accuses you of anything in the future, you’ll know whether you’re guilty or not. As to this situation, has your friend always been honest as far as you know? I can’t imagine him having a motive for making something like that up, so if you know him to be an honest person, I’d take it seriously and just stop drinking so much.

    Like

  42. corpsepants October 3, 2014 at 18:31 #

    I agree with your point about drinking, but not the implication that this is a common occurrence for me (“stop getting” suggesting this is a thing that happens on a continual basis). It wasn’t. I agree all the same.

    As for him being generally honest, how would I know? Sometimes an “honest person” is just consistent and/or convincing.

    Like

  43. That_Susan October 3, 2014 at 19:00 #

    That’s great that you’re not in the habit of getting drunk. This means it should be very easy for you to just decide on a limit and stick to it; it’s not like you’re an alcoholic or anything. And that’s true that you can’t really know for sure if this man’s being honest or not. All the more reason to resolve to never again put yourself in a position where someone’s accusing you of something awful and you have no idea what really happened. Honestly, I think all you can really do is learn from the experience and move on.

    Like

  44. inexorablefate October 5, 2014 at 02:49 #

    Honestly, unless you are an unusually strong woman, or had a weapon to his head, I don’t think it was rape. It was more him not standing up for himself, or talking you down from your inebriated horniness.

    Men can most certainly be raped, but only by other men, or via drugs, or by the occassional gorilla-strengthed woman. He’d be no better than one of these feminists if he called that rape, because its simply a case of not standing up for oneself/leaving a bad situation. Yes, youy were drunk and maybe behaved badly, but unless there is force involvced I don’t name it rape

    Like

  45. Robert What? October 13, 2014 at 01:02 #

    Being drunk does not indicate consent

    If they are both drunk and she comes onto him, isn’t she the rapist?

    Like

  46. soozeecue October 14, 2014 at 18:08 #

    Twenty years ago was the mid-’90s. Things weren’t much better then (or even thirty years ago).

    Like

  47. anon November 13, 2014 at 18:27 #

    While I agree that consent cannot be withdrawn after the fact, and that people are responsible for consequences of decisions made while drunk, I think it is harmful and disingenuous to say that “date rape does not happen”. Like, maybe a woman chooses to drink, but roofies are STILL A THING. Consequences should fall on the one to get the person who made the choice in the state of mind to make it – normally the same person, but not always.

    Like

  48. The Stupid Guy March 23, 2015 at 09:55 #

    Yes, that’s what I advise men, NEVER have sex with drunken girls, and with any girl that you have a one night stand, please PUT UP with her, in the morning. Make her breakfast, or something, even if you don’t want to do so. It’s for your own safety, because if once she feels neglected, and accuses you, there’s no turning back. Your life is ruined, and even if your are proven innocent, still you will be hounded all your life. It’s sad that it had to come to this. I mean, a woman can leave a guy after a one night stand, while he’s still sleeping, and its no big deal(of course it shouldn’t be, because the sex was casual), but if a guy does the same, it’s up to the woman to decide, whether she was raped or not! Thanks to feminism, as men we are reduced to invaluable creatures, whose lives depend on the mercies of women. This shouldn’t be so. It shouldn’t even be the other way around. Three cheers to JB, and other MRA’s because they have decided to speak the truth when others are afraid to do so, and stand up for the fair treatment of the other half of humanity

    Like

  49. The Stupid Guy March 23, 2015 at 10:27 #

    Exactly dude. Sometime ago I had lost all faith in women, and most men (the abundant white knight sort). Almost every woman, from my social circle, friends and family, seemed to be intoxicated with feminism, saying they wanted equality, but unconsciously they were just perpetrating double standards against men, and at times showing outright hostility to men’s rights, issues concerning drunken sex, alimony, custody cases, ect.

    At length I came across MRA’s, and the famous AVFM . Then I came across Women against feminism, and Janet Bloomfield, and once again, my faith in women has been restored. I’ve begun to respect women again, and I like the fact that I’ve changed for the better.

    I have always been for equal rights for men and women, without any double standards, and the hypocrisy of feminism. As a man I just want to be treated like a human being, and not as a potential rapey monster. Why should I be held accountable, if I am as intoxicated as the woman I’ve had sex with? How am I a statuary rapist if the girl with whom I’ve had a one night stand turns out to be 17, when she said that she was 19, an looked like it. Am I God that I should know everything? Or should I go snooping around, and get straight all the facts about the girl I’m about to sleep with? Is it my fault that she lied? If so, it should apply to both men and women, equally. But equality is something feminists just don’t want to implement.

    Like

  50. that1susan March 23, 2015 at 15:12 #

    Excellent idea, Stupid Guy, about making her breakfast and treating her like she’s special to you. It’s too bad the Steubenville boys didn’t get the memo on that; if I’m remembering right, one of them actually informed the girl about how he and one of his buddies peed on her while she was passed out. I guess the momentary fun of shaming her won out over a more self-preserving course of action.

    “Thanks to feminism, as men we are reduced to invaluable creatures, whose lives depend on the mercies of women. This shouldn’t be so. It shouldn’t even be the other way around.”

    Why “the other way around?” Does one sex always have to be on top and hold all the cards? I think we’re all dependent on one another in many different ways. Feminists and traditionalists alike need a new paradigm — one where everyone has power, and everyone has respect for everyone else.

    Like

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. I’m gonna repost this because I still find it hilarious: HYPOTHESIS: it’s only rape if he doesn’t fall in love | Manosphere.com - September 26, 2014

    […] […]

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  2. HYPOTHESIS it’s only rape if he doesn’t fall… | Honor Dads - September 29, 2014

    […] HYPOTHESIS: it’s only rape if he doesn’t fall in love. […]

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