The Fitness Test – Chapter 28 is live

11 Apr

Fitness Test

[Edited to add: 29 is now live, too. I will have a to take a short break to study guerrilla war tactics before I can continue. It shouldn’t take too long. http://thefitnesstest.net/2015/04/chapter-twenty-nine/]

In the home stretch, and I’ve floundered a lot with this one, but think I’m back on track now. My primary concern is not to write one of those stupid “black character redeems evil white person” caricatures. I want Copernicus to be as strong and defiant as Lowin, but I also don’t want to make him responsible for her being a total twat.

http://thefitnesstest.net/2015/04/chapter-twenty-eight/

9 Responses to “The Fitness Test – Chapter 28 is live”

  1. that1susan April 11, 2015 at 11:49 #

    I’m really happy with the way this is turning out, and you made it completely real and believable, too.

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  2. JudgyBitch April 11, 2015 at 12:07 #

    Susan, I’m so pleased to hear you say that. I always planned for Lowin to have the vestiges of PTSD as her conscience starts to form, and in most cases I’ve read – both fiction and IRL – those come in the form of dreams.

    I needed Nicus to be aware of the fact she’s having flashbacks, which meant she had to find some way to tell him about her dreams and oh my god, aren’t those just the worst conversations in real life? I cringe the second anyone opens their mouth with “I had the strangest dream last night” because listening to other people’s dreams is about as interesting as listening to someone recount the plot of a movie you’ve never seen.

    The worst.

    Every attempt I made to have her recount a dream just sucked.

    Once I figured out that she could have happening-in-the-moment flashbacks, it went a lot smoother.

    And I definitely did not want to make Nicus the wise black character who forgives all sins of racist white people. Such a boring, racist trope. He needs to hold her accountable, yet still have compassion.

    And Lowin can’t just turn on a dime. She still has to be Lowin – in short, an awful person struggling to realize that she is awful and wanting to change. The difference between Lowin and the average radical feminist is that she doesn’t hate.

    Hate makes change impossible.

    Glad you are enjoying the story. Because I’ve envisioned a sequel, the next chapter might be the last…..

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  3. that1susan April 11, 2015 at 14:12 #

    Oh I’m so glad about the sequel — but at the same time, I find it extremely frustrating if a book I’m into ends too abruptly. So if it is your last chapter, I hope it will be a long one.

    You did a really good job of making sure we knew that Copernicus had seen the video of the fitness test — and also that Lowin realized she must have said Hiyori’s name out loud — so that it didn’t come across like he was just reading her mind. And I agree that it’s much better this way that having her recount everything to him.

    I feel so sad that Lowin’s dad couldn’t have figured out a way to brief her about the people who’d be trying to help her and prevent her killing them. I suppose he thought he was preventing it by replacing the poison in the darts, and just forgot how she’d been trained to kill in so many other ways, too.

    Plus, I suppose it would be too much for her to take in all at once — and yet, she’s managed to process an awful lot and change a lot very quickly. Well, now I’m just hanging on by a thread waiting for that final chapter! 🙂

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  4. JudgyBitch April 11, 2015 at 14:47 #

    You know, I hate that, too. Maybe I’ll just keep going and it will be a really long book! I have to take a break to study guerrilla combat tactics, something I have oddly not acquired a great deal of knowledge about to date. Lol – not a lot of guerrilla warfare in my neighborhood.

    But knowing people are waiting for the next chapter and will get annoyed with me if I slack off is excellent motivation!

    I plan to have the next chapter done in the next 48 hrs, and I will launch right into battle strategy!

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  5. that1susan April 11, 2015 at 14:55 #

    Yay!

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  6. that1susan April 11, 2015 at 21:59 #

    That’s a perfect note to end on… until the sequel. You balanced everything so perfectly — remorse, forgiveness, love, everything. And I hope you won’t wait too long on the sequel!

    Like

  7. that1susan April 11, 2015 at 22:00 #

    Oh, and I love it that Pontiac is playing such a central role.

    Like

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  1. The Fitness Test – Chapter 28 is live | Manosphere.com - April 11, 2015

    […] The Fitness Test – Chapter 28 is live […]

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