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On White Ribbon Day, help promote awareness of domestic violence as an issue that affects everyone

24 Nov

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The following article by Paul Elam, publisher of A Voice For Men is reprinted with permission.


White Ribbon Australia fraud exposed

Imagine the image of a woman, cowering in the corner, shivering, blood running from her nose, as a man, possibly just a faceless silhouette of a man, looms over her with a clenched fist.

For most people with their humanity intact, it is an image that elicits sympathy and outrage, and quite naturally so. Indeed, there are only two kinds of people in this writer’s opinion who look upon this kind of imagery with callous indifference. The first is the small percentage of people who simply have no moral compass, no sense of concern for anyone but themselves.

The other group is the one turning the human decency that deplores the victimization of the weaker by the stronger into a cash cow. That would be most domestic violence advocates.

Yes, it is all but indisputable. Profiteers have now industrialized battered women, reducing them to storefront mannequins for the sake of lining their pockets. They are not only indifferent to the suffering of the victims of intimate partner violence (IPV), but they also count on those (female-only) victims to make a living—even if they have to manufacture them. In keeping with their agenda, they also manufacture false statistics and a wholly fabricated narrative about IPV that is designed not to offer assistance or ameliorate the factors that lead to violence in the home but, in the simplest of terms, to cash in.

One of the most deplorable examples of that in existence today is the so-called “White Ribbon Campaign.” It is largely a worldwide effort to cozen money by playing on the human decency of people concerned about violence in the home. Their modus operandi is to paint a false picture of the problem, identifying its sole source as abusive men and its sole victims as helpless women. It is a calculated deception that flies in the face ofvirtually all known credible research on the issue, but it is a financial windfall because female-only victims and male-only perpetrators have proven to provide the best incentive for inspiring well-meaning people to give money.

Perhaps the worst of the worst in this worldwide consortium of con artists is the White Ribbon Campaign in Australia. That is an easy conclusion to come to with even a cursory glance at their financials, which are a matter of public record. You can see for yourself.

WRCOZ Financials

The first thing that is noticeable is that White Ribbon Australia is undergoing some pretty remarkable growth. From 2012 to 2013, the group increased their revenue by over 25%, with an additional half million dollars. It is especially impressive since more than 50% of their gross revenue ends up in the pockets of their staff.

With $1,130,402 in salaries and benefits, you can add $203,064, $416,077, and $85,565 respectively for “advertising and marketing,” “fundraising expense,” and “travel and accommodation.” You end up with a total of $1,835,108. That amounts to nothing more than raising money, paying themselves with it, but leaving enough left over to go raise more money.

With additional expenditures under informative headings like “purchases” ($58,603) and “other expenses” ($321,483), White Ribbon Australia ended up with a net loss of $441,787.

There is one category conspicuously absent from their financial report: services rendered.

While we are admittedly still looking, thus far we have found no evidence that White Ribbon Australia has ever contributed a solid nickel to a single service for actual victims of domestic violence. That includes female victims.

Indeed, as far as we are able to ascertain, White Ribbon Australia operates at a loss largely due to the financial self-indulgence of its staff, and does so strictly by lying to the Australian public about the incidence, severity, and causes of IPV, with the slight caveat that they do provide an online pledge that men are asked to sign saying they won’t beat women.

Lying is a strong word. And it should be backed up with evidence that this is what they are doing. For the next week, we will be providing that evidence on a regular basis on the front page of AVfM, as well as through multiple social media platforms and in concert with other organizations concerned with the corruption that has spread through the domestic violence industry like a stomach virus on a cruise ship.

The first of many examples ahead is the following statement published on White Ribbon Australia’s organizational report:


This is patently false, and has been proven as such.

Australia’s One in Three Foundation, a true domestic violence prevention advocacy group, offers the following fact check:


Also, an examination of Australian government statistics on the causes of injury, death, and illness by gender distribution undermines the claim unambiguously:

We also have to note that even when counting mental illnesses such as depression and chronic anxiety, there is no evidence anywhere that these conditions are caused by IPV. In other words, this is just one big, fat falsehood being sold like “gold” chains by scam artists who can be found on street corners in most major cities.

White Ribbon Australia, however, is quite aware of how the system works. Once they get the media to commit to one of their lies, there is little to nothing anyone can or will do about it. Least of all White Ribbon Australia.

Psychotherapist Tom Golden demonstrates precisely how this works with the spread of false information through the media here:

And this is no stranger to people involved in White Ribbon Australia.

Consider the case of noted Australian feminist ideologue, IPV “expert,” and White Ribbon celebrity Dr. Michael Flood of the University of Wollongong. Some years back, Flood released a, well, flood of false information and statements about domestic violence, including the following:

Women are far more likely than men to experience a range of controlling tactics and experience violence after separation…. Women’s perpetration of violence is much more often than men’s in self-defence…. Men are more likely to perpetrate … for instrumental reasons.

Dr. Flood was approached by Men’s Health Australia Magazine and asked for research to support these claims. He could not provide it and later admitted that no such research existed.

The facts refuting his statements are as follows:

The Australian Institute of Family Studies (1999) observed that, post-separation, fairly similar proportions of men (55 per cent) and women (62 per cent) reported experiencing physical violence including threats by their former spouse. Self-defense is cited by women as the reason for their use of IPV (including severe violence such as homicide) in a small minority of cases (from 5 to 20 per cent). After analyzing for verbal aggression, fear, violence and control by each gender, husbands are found to be no more controlling than wives.

Dr. Flood’s disinformation made many rounds through worldwide media and he never offered a correction. Not that it would matter. As Golden demonstrates quite clearly, once the lie is out there, the media has an unfortunate habit of sticking to it.

There is a specific and overarching reason that all of this is so important. Decades of clinical experience working with violent families has led me to the inescapable conclusion that the most harm from IPV (very little of it is fatal or seriously physically injurious) is visited on the lives of children who live in homes where one or both parents are violent.

These children are subjected to severe psychosocial stress factors that interfere with their education; lead to drug and alcohol abuse, truancy, delinquency, teen pregnancy, criminality; and perhaps even more importantly lead many of them to enter and maintain abusive relationships as adults.

The false “gendered” model of IPV sold by organizations like White Ribbon Australia not only misses the boat on the science about the problem, but it also contributes to perpetuating the cycle of violence by denying the existence of much of what is happening. By disingenuously painting this as a problem rooted in masculinity, they betray and abandon the children in families with violent mothers, condemning them to suffer ongoing abuse and repeat that cycle as adults. Much of this will lead to even more violence against women, as well as more men and children.

More simply put, the White Ribbon Campaign in Australia is enabling and promoting child abuse in the name of making a buck.

White Ribbon Campaigns in Australia and other countries will not be shaken easily from the corrupt business they are conducting. Their model of IPV, while manufactured and misleading, is the most salable version to a public largely ignorant of the real issues involved.

AVfM will do its part to try, just the same. The very moment this article was published marked a kickoff to our campaign to inform the public that they are being lied to, and that the money they donate to White Ribbon Campaigns does nothing more than make a handful of people affluent while creating still more victims of abuse who will take that dysfunction into future generations.

We will henceforth declare that November 25 of each year is White Ribbon Fraud Day and will dedicate as many resources as possible to outing the deception about IPV that currently profit groups like the one in Australia. One of the best ways to out these hucksters is to name them. The following staff list is provided by White Ribbon Australia:





Finally, we will also take the opportunity to promote and refer people to the one White Ribbon organization that is dedicated to evidence-based solutions to this significant social malady. is headed by Ms. Erin Pizzey. She is the worldwide founder of the women’s shelter movement and one of the world’s leading experts on IPV. Her website is rich with interviews, radio programming, and articles written by other scholarly authorities on the subject of family violence and whose non-ideological research demonstrates just how far the domestic violence industry has strayed from the truth in order to capitalize on fear and miscalled compassion.

We will aggressively undertake this campaign every year until the domestic violence industry is forced to change in a way that actually serves the purpose of helping victims of IPV rather than satisfying an ideological, financial agenda.

Author’s note: Blanket permission is extended to anyone who wishes to reproduce this article in full for placement on their blogs, websites or any other media platform. Indeed, such reproduction is requested and greatly appreciated. 

Correction issued: re: “Dr. Flood was approached by Men’s Health Australia Magazine…” That line should have read “Men’s Health Australia,” which is a men’s issues group, not to be confused with Men’s Health publication. 

Dr. Flood still maintains that the blatant lies he told about the experience of women’s and men’s post separation experiences are not really lies, and offers the blatant lies of other ideologues as support. 

How do people respond when the domestic violence victim is a man? They laugh.

26 May




This PSA by anti-DV organization Mankind just about says it all.  When a woman is mildly assaulted in public, people step in and put a stop to it.  When a man is much more violently assaulted, people laugh.


No really.


They laugh.



Good thing misandry doesn’t exist, right?


Pop Quiz:  What would happen if the man fought back?


Ha ha!  Just kidding.


He would be arrested of course.  For domestic violence.


Now there’s some equality for you.


Lots of love,




This is female privilege, and women fully intend to keep this one. Fair enough, but men will be keeping a few of their privileges, too.

15 Oct

This is going to be a tricky conversation to navigate, today, but what the hell – since when have we ever shied away from tricky conversations?

First up, prepared to be enraged.  It’s the correct response, at least at the outset.  Way back in 2007, Jezebel ran a post called Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have, and it is enlightening, to say the least.

According to a study of relationships that engage in nonreciprocal violence, a whopping 70% are perpetrated by women. So basically that means that girls are beating up their BFs and husbands and the dudes aren’t fighting back.

The fact that women are just as prone to domestic violence as men is a no-brainer, and it’s not what I want to talk about.  AVfM covers the topic with much more depth and gravitas than I could ever hope to replicate, and you can go and take a look at the relevant findings here:

The first thing I would like to talk about is what does domestic violence look like when women are the perpetrators?  There is a big difference between a slap and a punch, and an even bigger difference between taking a punch from a 120 lb woman and a 320 lb man.

Savannah Marshall


I mean, it’s pretty obvious, isn’t it?  Violence from women just isn’t of the same magnitude as violence from a man.  You might charge a teenager with punching you, but you wouldn’t charge a four year old, because they just can’t inflict any real damage.

Let’s take a look at that assumption:  violence from women isn’t as physically bad as violence from men.

All these comments are taken directly from the Jezebel article.


I once dated an alcoholic (rite of passage for all good little girls) who came over drunk and got in my face. I punched him hard enough to knock him on his ass. After I dumped him, he served me with a restraining order, which I proudly showed off to all his friends. Stupid wimp.


When I was in high school I slapped my bf hard enough to give him a bloody nose. In front of his friends. He told me my band was “cute,” so I obviously had no choice.


I got into a lovely wrestling match with a boyfriend once. We were drunk and he was taunting me, but I didn’t want to actually hurt him so I let him win. And I used to wrestle with the boyfriend after that all the time. It was fun and playful at first, but things started to get angry. Like that one time when he lifted me up and dropped on his carpeted concrete floor… flat on my back.

Yeah, that wasn’t fun. I screamed bloody murder which scared the shit out of him, and then got up and punched whatever shit was left out of him. He became mildly terrified of me after that.

I haven’t wrestled the recent boyfriend yet, but I did learn that yelling and arguing really loudly and scarily like I do (thanks, dad!) scares him enough to win any argument. 🙂


Despite the fact that my boyfriend outweighed me by fifty pounds, was eight inches taller (giving him a longer reach), and was going to Kung-fu classes three times a week I beat the shit out of him. I punched him repeatedly in the stomach and once I had him cornered I threw him across the room by his penis (I hadn’t previously known that was physically possible).


My last boyfriend crossed the line (showing up drunk, refusing to leave my place) so I beat the piss out of him with, unfortunately, my favorite umbrella. I am very embarrassed by it, it went too far.


First of all i had too much to drink. Second of all things had just seemed different with my boy lately. Third he wasn’t answering his phone. Fourth, his friend told me that he didn’t want to be with me and he was at home with another girl.

So i jumped into a cab with no money. Ran out at a red light. Used my set of keys to get into his appartment. Confronted him. Slapped his glasses off his face. Bite him repeated so hard that he imediately bruised. Got out a kitchen knife. He threatened to call the cops on me and i called his bluff knowing he had too much blow in his appartment to want to bring cops in. He threw out all my shit and called my roommate to come get me.          11/21/07 3:52pm


I slapped him on his birthday, for telling me something I asked him to tell me in the first place – and then a whole bunch of other shit happened (why didn’t I see this informal survey?)

I still feel bad about it….               8/28/07 6:55pm


When I was 17 I was fighting with my boyfriend in the car and he put the car into neutral (from drive) when I wasn’t looking. I punched him dead in the face and have regretted it ever since. More recently a male friend of mine, while in the throes mind you, told me he liked me, “but only with a small l”. I bit him so hard he had a mark for a week. And it wasn’t because I was so turned on. I regretted it again (I am a well of regret) but I have to say I think he may have had it coming.                8/28/07 7:07pm


A boyfriend and I were getting hot and heavy on the sofa and there was nudity… he whips out his cell phone to start shooting VIDEO.

He got a hard slap to the face. I feel like that is justified, not abuse, right? 8/28/07 7:08pm

Trixie from Toronto

I posted this somewhere else once, and it stopped the thread dead in its tracks, and I feared everyone thought I was psycho. But when my husband announced he didn’t love me anymore the morning after initiating passionate sex with me and telling me how much he loved me, I hurled a plastic laundry hamper at his head, bit him when he wouldn’t let me see who he was furtively texting on his Blackberry, and whipped him once with his leather belt.

I am ashamed to say that I am proud of myself given I then came down with an STD passed along to me from this douchebag via his slutbag girlfriend. 8/28/07 8:55pm


i too dated a pussy-ass alky, who tried to shove me around one drunken night. i kicked his ass, then promptly broke up with him. not only because he was a drunk but because i’m only 5’4″ and 101 lbs., and i don’t want a man who ass I can kick. 8/28/07 10:51pm


1) I punched him in the face when he showed up to my birthday party with another girl…a week after we broke up.

2) I threw his cellphone at his stupid ugly head for being a cheating asshole texting another woman from my house. Unfortunately for him, my aim is true, not once, but twice.

Fuck them both, I’d do it again many times over.               8/28/07 11:42pm


I tried to run one of my ex’s over with my car. After the gazillion fight that week, I was so sick of him. He walked out mid scream of mine, so I got in my car and went after him. The neighbor’s yard fell victim to my wrath, unfortunately. And the poor woman was there gardening. She never said anything to me though. Wonder why HAHAHAHA      8/29/07 11:38am


Never hit a guy I was dating, but I drunkenly slapped some dude on the street the other night for yelling, “Are those store bought or real?”               8/28/07 7:02pm


I slap my boyfriend on a semi-regular basis. It always hurts me more than it hurts him. And he usually agrees that he deserves it. 8/28/07 7:50pm


I think every man I have been with has received a slap from me. Every single one deserved it, says alot about my taste in men!     8/28/07 9:06pm


I bounced an alarm clock off my husband’s head from across the room once. I haven’t been able to find a decent alarm clock since. Karma’s a bitch.         8/29/07 9:22am


i’ve slapped a man and it felt good. better than the time i threw an ipod box to his face (the corner got his eye).               8/29/07 3:06pm

Well, holy shit!  These comments are from supposedly self-aware feminists who would never accept a single justification for any man beating the crap out of any woman, but the glee is just so self-evident, isn’t it?

How does all the above pertain to the original question:  is violence different when it comes to women dishing it out?  In some cases, nope.  Not at all.  Trying to run someone over with a car is pretty gender neutral.  Not much some extra physical strength is gonna do for you when you’re up against a Cadillac.

But the rest of it?

The only reason these women can recount their stories with such diabolical delight is because the man didn’t fight back.  Oh sure, there might be one or two cases of a woman who was just straight-up stronger than the man in question, but given women’s continued preferences for men who are bigger than they are, it’s not fucking likely.

All these women who so proudly claim they “beat the shit out of a man”?  Uhm, no you didn’t.  You beat the shit out of someone who didn’t fight back.  Kind of like claiming you are an undefeated ass-kicking  champion when all your opponents have been Quakers.



What really pisses me off with these stories is not the violence, per se, but rather the delusion.  Women hit, punch, slap, bite, whip men because they take for granted that they won’t get it back in spades. I don’t think a whole lot of men give a lot of thought to the fact that if they did respond, the legal reality is that they are the ones who are going to jail.

That’s undeniably true.  Men are the ones arrested in DV situations, regardless of whether the violence was reciprocal or initiated by women.

But I don’t think that is what goes through a man’s mind.  He goes on instinct, and the instinct is very simple:  you don’t hurt women.


What makes me sick is to see these women take full advantage of that instinct with zero self-awareness, and zero thought that perhaps the privilege of protection from intimate male partner violence ought to be balanced by a few male privileges that are uncontested.

What might those privileges be?

Let’s look at Peggy McIntosh’s checklist of male privilege:

All of the items on Peggy’s list come down to one thing:  men are given more responsibility and more prestige than women in the public sphere.

Could that possibly be because women are given more prestige and more responsibility in the private sphere?


Women continue to have the choice, especially if they have planned intelligently, to eschew the formal labor force and spend their lives taking care of their children and homes.  They have the privilege of being assumed natural caregivers for children and family and home, and they ARE.  Oh, scream all you want to – nature has designed women to care for small children.  Those breasts sitting on your chest are all the evidence you need.  That doesn’t mean men can’t do a good job caring for children, but most prefer to provide and have a responsible, reliable woman at home taking care of the private sphere.

Obviously, not all men have ALL THE POWER AND PRESTIGE, but even those men who survived at the bottom of the economic pyramid traditionally had the privilege of having more prestige and responsibility in the public sphere relative to their wives.

And that came with a responsibility:  to surrender responsibility in the private sphere to their wives.

It’s called the Myth of Male Dominance, and we have covered the territory before.

And where are we now, as a culture?  We have women who feel perfectly at ease physically assaulting the men they supposedly love, taking for granted their protection and unwillingness to reciprocate that violence, and then refusing to acknowledge that men have some earned privileges of their own.

I’m not so sure I agree with the idea that we should hold women criminally liable for domestic violence, the same way we hold men responsible.  I think there is more to be gained from emphasizing that women get away with violence because men allow them to.

That leads the conversation in a very particular direction:  if men wanted all women caged and pregnant with no rights of any kind, they could do that in 24 hours.  Saudi Arabia, anyone?

The whole conversation about male power and privilege and how it needs to be defeated ignores the brutal reality that if men really wanted to see women oppressed and subjugated, there is jack shit we could do about that.


It would be over before we even knew it began.  Margaret Atwood wrote a book called The Handmaid’s Tale in which that exact thing happens.  It takes one simple measure to bring women to their knees:  all bank accounts held by women are frozen and the assets are transferred to their male domestic partners or the state.

And boom, it’s lights out for feminism.

Domestic violence, when women are the perpetrators shines a gigantic, blinding spotlight on the fact that MEN ARE NOT THE ENEMY.  An enemy would break your neck if you whipped him with a belt or punched him in the face.  An enemy would destroy you.  An enemy would have you in a chokehold pinned against the wall. An enemy would fight back.

The enemy here is an ideology that intends to keep every female privilege and dismantle every male one.  It’s proceeding on men’s good graces.  Men are allowing it.  Because they don’t see the danger? Because the instinct to not hurt women is that strong?  Because the reality is that women, despite all their delusions to the contrary, still have no real power collectively? Hanna Roisin hilariously claims that “men dither while women solve the world’s problems”.

Because she found two women with some political power.  TWO!  Well, yee haw!

Pay attention Hanna, you delusional bitch.  Women do not make up more than 30% of the legislature in the developed world, and in the rest of the world it’s considerable less.  You go right ahead and sob at the injustice of it, but you can shut your fucking mouth about “dithering men”.


Here’s a map of global prosperity:


Our stunning achievements in wealth and freedom have come under the stewardship of MEN.  Pretty much every luxury and every amenity you enjoy in your life was invented, designed, manufactured, maintained and repaired by a man.  Men continue to control most of the formal institutions of power in our culture, and they are the main reason you are not currently living in a fucking mud hut trading berries for hand-woven linen.

The whole conversation about domestic violence and the uselessness of dithering men and women’s double standards and delusions of power and grandeur and competence make me think of one thing:

breaking poiunt

The breaking point.

Everyone has one.

The men in Jezebel’s story, getting the shit kicked out of them by women, clearly haven’t reached theirs.

But it can’t be far off.  Honestly, I hope it’s not.  I’ve had just about enough of women’s bullshit.  Which doesn’t matter in the slightest.

It will matter when men have had enough.

And then we’ll see, won’t we?  I’m not frightened for myself, actually.  Men may apply some corrective measures, but they’re not going to enslave women or chain them by the neck or do any other horrible thing.


But they might decide that a woman who whips them with a belt deserves a little taste of her own medicine. Based on Fifty Shades of Grey, there might just be a whole lot of women who would love that!

Lots of love,


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