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Deeply disturbed man kills 4 men and 2 women and then himself, and is declared a violent misogynist because the deaths of men don’t count?

25 May


 Edited to add:  Initial reports that two male cyclists had been killed were apparently incorrect.  Rodgers killed three male roommates and Chris Martinez, and then killed two women in front of a sorority house, and then himself.  Five dead men, and two dead women seems to be the most up to date body count. 


By now you have probably heard of the Isla Vista Shooting, carried out by a disturbed young man named Elliot Rodger.  Elliot, who may have had autism and/or Asperger’s Syndrome, was living in a facility designed to help him address awkward social skills.  Elliot was part of an on-line community called PUAHate, a website devoted to revealing ‘the scams, deception, and misleading marketing techniques used by dating gurus and the seduction community to deceive men and profit from them.’ Elliot posted some very disturbing videos on YouTube in which he rails against the women who rejected his advances and muses about killing all the men on the planet except for himself.


‘If you could release a virus that would kill every single man on Earth, except for yourself because you would have the antidote, would you do it?

‘You will be the only man left, with all the females. You would be able to have your pick of any beautiful woman you want, as well as having dealt vengeance on the men who took them from you. Imagine how satisfying that would be.’


It seems that Elliot was an equal opportunity hate monger, torn between wanting to kill women and wanting to kill men.  Ultimately, when the bullets started flying, he killed 6 men and 2 women, and he injured several others, whose gender is not clear at the moment.


He also killed himself.


I’ll confess it came as a shock to me to see the actions of this deeply distraught, confused individual linked wholesale to the Men’s Rights Movement.  The Daily Kos took no time to proclaim Rodger was “influenced” by the MHRM, although it presents absolutely zero evidence that this was, in fact, the case.


The Men’s Rights Movement as they call themselves is a nebulous group of pickup artists and misogynists who’ve found each other on line, and are attempting to create a movement based around their hatred, disdain, and fear of women.


We know for a fact that Rodgers was influenced by this movement, as he is subscribed to multiple “pick up artist” or “mens rights” channels on YouTube. (For those here that don’t use YouTube, when a user subscribes to a channel, they receive notifications when that channel posts a new video.)

Except that all the links the KOS posts lead to Pick Up Artist sites, and none lead to MHRM sites.


Jezebel commenters are quick to repeat the same error, insisting that Pick Up Artists and Men’s Rights Activists are one and the same – something that would almost be amusing if they stopped to consider the number of married women with children who are part of the MHRM.  How exactly are we Pick Up Artists?


SPLC makes the same connection, again with no evidence at all.

alternatesteve2 • 15 hours ago

Aw, dammit. I had this terrible feeling, for quite a while now, that something like this would happen. And now it has.


Honestly, just EFF the “Men’s Movement”. Eff ’em all.


The Frisky follows suit, claiming that murdering 6 men and 2 women is “textbook sexist MRA (men’s rights activists) bullshit at its most entitled and violent.”  I appear to have been absent the day the textbook was issued.


Jessica Valenti proclaims that “misogyny kills”, blithely unconcerned with the fact that more men than women were killed.  Killing men is misogyny?  That’s an interesting interpretation.


While it clear to me that nothing more than ignorance and prejudice is informing these writers about the MHRM and MRAs, I wonder how the association between PUA and the MHRM came to be?  Because I came to the MHRM out of a concern for the legal and social equality of men and women, and not out of bitterness born from dating and interacting, I know very, very little about the PUA community.  I have encountered Chateau Heartiste, and have even written posts pointing out that some of his material is terribly mistaken, but I do not recall ever encountering any serious discussion of political and social issues that affect men and boys on his website.


And the most poignant irony for me is that Elliot was a member of an ANTI-PUA site, so not even part of the PUA community at all.  His fantasies included killing both men and women, but the focus appears to be stubbornly on how much he hated women.  He killed more men than women, and yet the focus is stubbornly on the female victims.


The only conclusion I can come to is that this is political grandstanding, with no evidence or facts to support  the assertion that Elliot was a member of any MHRM communities.  In a desperate attempt to paint the MHRM as violent and hateful, prominent media feminists are ignoring evidence and body counts to create an association between the desire for social equality and murderous rampages.


This is both sad and totally expected.  Sad that feminists will take the dead bodies of innocent young people and parade them as evidence for something that doesn’t exist and never has. Sad that media feminists will step over the bodies of dead and injured men to fuss and fawn over dead and injured women and then claim they are interested in equality.  Sad that feminists will mourn dead women but not dead men.  And sad that feminists will insist that a community of men and women working to ensure that both boys and girls, both men and women, are treated fairly and equally are the reason for Elliot’s tragic, deadly outburst.


The fact is that Elliot’s outburst does indeed highlight an issue of central importance to the MHRM – the inadequate, almost non-existent treatment of mental health problems for young men.  Socially, our treatment seems to be to wait until the tortured young man puts a bullet in his own head, and just pray that he doesn’t take innocent victims with him.


As a strategy for health, it’s not working very well.


Compare that to how we respond to women who are mentally fragile after giving birth.  We screen for Post Partum Depression and throw money and resources into keeping both the women and their children safe, because if we don’t do that, a lot of babies will end up dead. Women struggle with mental issues, too, and take it out on the innocent.  But rather than ignore those women and hope for the best, we create programs designed to identify and help them.



There was tons of evidence, especially on YouTube that Elliot was a dangerously unwell person, struggling with demons he likely could not understand and certainly could not cope with.  A society that had true compassion for men and boys would respond to hurting men like Elliot, the same way we respond to hurting women.


So in that sense, yes Elliot is linked to the MHRM and MRAs.  He is one of the men and boys we are fighting for.  If we had stepped in, Elliot would be alive.  His life matters, too.  If we had resources and means to assist young men struggling to integrate into our complex society, his victims would be alive.


Two beautiful young women lost their lives in Isla Vista.  But so did five beautiful young men. They deserve our compassion, too. They are more than grindstones on which to sharpen a political axe.


Because men are people, too.  Why is that so hard for some people to remember?


Lots of love,






Gold miner’s daughter. That shit can go very wrong.

15 May

mining 2

About eleven years ago, my father was involved in a mining accident that claimed the lives of several men.  He was lucky to escape the tragedy, but he suffered some fairly serious injuries as a result of being crushed by tons of rock.  His left leg had to be amputated at the pelvis, his lower digestive system was destroyed and his hearing was seriously damaged by the explosion.

Both the amputation and the colostomy he was left with present on-going health issues and the hearing loss makes it very difficult for him to communicate with his health care team, so I generally accompany him to his appointments and act as a translator.

What was supposed to be a routine appointment this morning has turned into something considerably more involved, so I will not be able to get to my post until tomorrow.

It’s a gorgeous day here.  Hope it’s beautiful where you are, too.  See you tomorrow!

Lots of love,


Right problem, wrong solution. How to help boys in school.

12 Feb

Here’s a study looking at mostly white, British boys published in Child Development which confirms what the MHRM has been saying for years: that boys face negative gender stereotypes in school which have a dramatic effect on their performance.

By the time they are in the first grade, little boys have internalized the message that they are not as good as little girls. That little girls will behave better, perform better and achieve more than they will.


The idea that negative stereotypes can be a self-fulfilling prophesy is not news and has been confirmed many times over. When black students are confronted with images of negative stereotypes about black students, they perform much worse on tests of achievement. It’s called a “stereotype threat” and it isn’t the slightest bit controversial.

What’s interesting in the work on racial stereotypes is that the efforts to counter the effect of stereotype threat do not focus on convincing any particular racial group that they are perfectly capable of emulating the dominant white group, but rather that their own particular racial identity is NO BARRIER to achievement.

Free your mind, and your ass will follow.

Efforts to counter the stereotype threat for race DO NOT involve encouraging the minority group to behave just like the white folks do. Being a “banana” or an “oreo” or an “apple” is, quite rightly, considered deeply offensive. There is no requirement that you be your color on the outside and white on the inside.


Let’s keep that in mind.

Let’s hop in our time machine and go back to the family-centered culture that dominated after the Second World War in all the major Western countries. It was a time of unparalleled technological and scientific achievement and the domestic birth rates soared. An average American family had four children, supported by one man, earning a family wage.


The idea that children need to play to learn was utterly, completely obvious. Mothers who actually raised their own children, spent time with them, and knew them would have been flabbergasted at the notion that children should sit quietly all day “learning”. On the contrary. Since Mommy had to clean up after her little darlings, the first thing out of her mouth once breakfast was over would have been GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY!


Today’s mothers, on the other hand, barely see their children, have no idea what they do all day, are crippled with guilt (rightly so) and sickened at the thought that something bad is going to happen to them. Rather than look at their own lives, and how destructive the drive to “personal fulfilment” is for children, they look around for someone to blame, and guess what?

Oh shock and surprise!

Rapists! Murderers! Kidnappers! Paedophiles! Abusers! Robbers! Sadists!


And of course, by all those terms, we mean MEN.

See this girl? She raped, kidnapped and murdered three young women, including her own sister, but she’s not the one we’re afraid of when we refuse to let Suzie and Johnny play at the park, is she?


She’s out of jail, now, by the way, and the mother to three children of her own. One for every life she took. Her husband, who was partner to the crimes, will never see the light of day again.

Well, that seems fair, no?


So, if children are not to be allowed outside to play anymore, what are they to do? If we are not going to hold ourselves accountable, as parents, for their well-being, whom can we hold?

Oh, I know. Let’s make teachers accountable! Of course, they will have no powers to discipline our special, special snowflakes, but that doesn’t matter. We can still hold them accountable. We want measurable achievements, people! Proof that you are doing your job, although don’t ask me for proof I’m doing mine.

That’s crazytalk.

Schools, especially primary schools have been held to ever increasing accountability measures, especially at the primary level. Children must be able to demonstrate, on paper, that they are learning …. well, basically, to be girls.

Click to access Pellegrini.pdf



Sit quietly

Read silently

Glitter your paper calmly

Speak softly

Cooperate gently

Listen submissively

Follow orders diligently









Show defiance

Show resilience

Get knocked down, and get up again to fight another day

Obviously, you can’t have a classroom full of shouting, jumping, competing little maniacs. That would be chaos. What you CAN have is a playground full of shouting, jumping, competing little maniacs.


It used to be called RECESS, and it was the part of the day that allowed boys to shine, and to be boys. The days used to be split, pretty evenly, between activities that most girls loved to do and activities that most boys loved to do and that split allowed quiet boys and rambunctious girls to find their own places and thrive according to their own unique personalities.


We have now created a school system that is an oasis for girls and that outright punishes boys for being boys. Schools have pulled out playground equipment and have banned balls and won’t let children out if there is ice on the ground and it has all become complete fucking madness.


Let’s go back to that study. What did researchers do to counter the stereotype threat against boys? They praised little boys for acting like little girls. In an act of utterly cruel emotional manipulation, they took aside the little boys and explained to them that they were JUST THE SAME AS LITTLE GIRLS, and encouraged them to compete on the girl’s terms. Little boys, being every bit as emotionally vulnerable as little girls, tried their best. Their soft little hearts long for approval, for recognition, for love, for acceptance, just as girl’s do. Why?

little boy

Because they’re human beings, that’s why!

That’s the solution these female (shock!) researchers have come up with. Let’s manipulate little boys into thinking that little girls really ARE better and that they can be better, too.

As long as they act like girls.

What’s a good word for male on outside and female on the inside? I’m not sure, but I’m open to suggestions.


The solution is really very simple. Bring back recess. Bring back outdoor play. Let children scramble and tussle and compete and play. Adults need to be on hand to intervene in bullying, and that includes all sorts of bullying. Teasing chubby little Imogen until she gets an eating disorder is just as violent as beating little Rupert for loving Bratz dolls.

Boys are not girls. They learn differently and have different interests. And the reality is that while girls may perform better in the current school climate, they parlay that achievement into literature and sociology degrees, and not into engineering or computer science PhDs.

Knocking down boys is not just devastating for the boys in question. It is devastating for our whole society. Teaching them they are not as good as girls is destroying our technological and scientific advantage and we will all pay dearly for that.

And teaching girls they are better than boys? Well there’s your answer, if you want to know why women are such self-absorbed, narcissists incapable of taking any objective, quantifiable measure of what they actually contribute to the world.


Negative stereotypes about boys hurt us all. Be the change you want to see in the world. Hand your son a hockey stick and a puck and tell him to go outside and play. Tell him to watch for cars. That’s the real danger he faces. Even the ones driven by women.

Lots of love,


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