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About that “this is why we write the blog in the first place” post

9 Oct

Pixie decided to take the post down, because she has not had a chance to discuss with the actual person involved whether he would care to have his words and situation published.


We reacted without thinking the implications for Friend through very well.


She has saved the post and all the comments, and if Friend is okay with it going back up, we will do so.


But it’s his life, and he has the ultimate right to decide how much of that he cares to share.


Just wanted to let you know what happened to it.


Lots of love,



Policing Twitter is dumb

29 Jul

So the whole Jane Austen banknote thingy caused quite the uproar in the UK these past few days, particularly for a woman named Caroline Criado-Perez, who apparently spearheaded the push to have the banknotes that depicted 100% women.  The Queen is on the face of ALL banknotes, so they automatically have a woman on them, but whatever.  Some of the notes should have ONLY women, and none of them will have ONLY men.

bank notes UK

Well, not until Charles becomes King, and then William after him, and George after him.  Christopher Hitchens was pretty pessimistic that the Royal Family would last that long, but if they do, THEN there will be some validity to the argument that there are no women on banknotes.


Further down the scale, though, the monarchic principle constitutes an obstacle to precisely that sense of responsibility about which we hear so much. It can’t be good for people to lead vicarious lives, made up partly of prurience and partly of deference, and fixated on the doings of an undistinguished and spoiled family.

I like how Hitchens disliked the monarchy because it’s an obstacle to the idea of responsibility. Hitchens was a big fan of owning your own shit.


At least since Einstein, we have lived in a world where the discoveries of physics and genetics are far more awe-inspiring, as well as infinitely more liberating, than the claims of any religion. Yet somehow, our very idioms and vernaculars fail to rise to the moment. Even worse, we preserve the literal-mindedness of the age of ignorance; the epoch when our ancestors were taught to believe that the universe was man-centered and that everything revolved around us.

At the heart of this is the absurd and contradictory notion of “humility,” whereby believers consider it humble and self-effacing to appoint themselves the mere executors of a superior being. (“Don’t mind me — I’m just doing God’s will.”) This false modesty would be no more than irritating if it was not accompanied by insistent demands for real money, and real secular power over other humans, in the here and now.

Denial of personal responsibility, prurience, deference, living vicariously in a world conceptualized as revolving around ME ME ME, pretensions of humility when the real goal is to control others – sounds an awful lot like the Twitterverse, doesn’t it?


I’m not much of a sports fan, but apparently there are a bunch of people in the UK who are really, really into watching grown men dressed in matchy-matching outfits chase a ball around, and they get really super emotional when the ball doesn’t go where they want it to.


Not something I can relate to, but whatever.

There are all kinds of reasons sports fans get riled up at these games, and some fans are not very nice. When one of the players fucks up whatever he was supposed to do with the ball, he will be called all sorts of nasty, vile, mean, jerky, stupid things by the spectators in the crowd.  Some of those nasty, vile things will be racist.


That’s terribly unpleasant,  but par for the course when you make your living chasing a ball around, no? If fans were NOT deeply emotionally invested in where that ball goes, there would be no demand for professional sports at all.

The normal constraints on behavior tend to get chucked out the window when it comes to sporting matches, and people generally feel safe screaming and shouting and carrying on in a way that would be frowned upon in the supermarket. The Terry Tate, Office Linebacker ads are hilarious precisely BECAUSE they highlight the differences in what we consider acceptable behavior on and off the field.

I’m not a sports fan, and I think the Terry Tate ads are hysterical.

Sometimes the players get rough with each other, and they get a penalty for doing so, but we don’t view their behavior in the same light as we would view the exact same behavior out of the context of the game. Zidane didn’t like another player calling his sister a whore.  He responded with a head butt. Not something we would tolerate off the field, right?

Jesus, hockey players beat the crap out of each other, but in the context of the game, it’s all good clean fun.

The normal constraints on behavior simply don’t apply when it comes to our faux gladiators, and most people appear to be able to comprehend that what you can get away with in the arena is vastly different from what you can get away with on the street.

Twitter is just another arena. The normal rules don’t apply.  You can say things you would NEVER  say in real life.  That’s social media.  And if you don’t like the rules, well, get off Twitter.  No one is REQUIRED to be on Twitter or any other social media.  There are features on Facebook or Tumblr or Twitter that allow users to control their privacy settings, block annoying commenters, or restrict access to their information. The social media universe can be manipulated to conform to how a particular user wants to use that media.


It’s up to the user to determine what they are comfortable with.

Unless, of course, the user is a woman, and then it’s up to everyone else to conform to what she decides is acceptable behavior.


So here is what happened with Caroline.  She started a campaign to get the Treasury to issue bank notes that feature 100% women. The Queen on one side, and another woman on the other. She used her professional, public profile to garner support on social media, and on Twitter in particular.  Fair enough.  There’s the power of social media.

And, inevitably, not everyone agreed with her.  People called her all sorts of nasty things, and then some gigantic jerks decided Caroline is a good candidate for rape.


People are jerks.  Some people are super giant jerks.  Super giant jerks get really, really brave on Twitter and say shit they would never dare to utter in real life.

Who knew?

Caroline, naturally, wants all the benefits of social media, but she doesn’t want to face any pushback unless it comes in precisely the terms she finds acceptable. Now she’s on Twitter to change its entire business model so that she doesn’t have to deal with jerks.

She wants a “report abuse” button.  Report abuse to whom, Caroline?  To Twitter?  They are supposed to set up an entirely new system and monitor it so that you don’t have to deal with Twitter assholes?  There is already a system in place to ensure that.

It’s called “delete account”.

At this point, Twitter is pretty much ignoring Caroline other than to point out that there are terms of agreement for all users and that super vile users can in fact, be reported and have their accounts closed.


Are rape threats nice?  Nope, they’re not.  They’re pretty disgusting.  But Caroline, you are not a child, you are not entitled to decide what rules apply to everyone everywhere at all times and you do not get to impose your own sense of propriety on everyone else.

The United Kingdom is taking a very strange approach to how the rules work in cyberspace.  A 21 year old man named Liam Stacey was JAILED for posting an offensive tweet about an injured soccer player, on the grounds that it incited racial hatred.

“LOL. Fuck Muamba. He’s dead!!!”

No doubt, there were thousands of other people at the match saying the exact same thing to their seatmates, but Liam decided to reach out to all his absentee friends on Twitter and the courts responded by jailing him.

Because Liam is such a danger to the public, right?

Now, IF the UK is going to jail Liam, then yes, they should also be going after the troglodytes that threatened to rape Caroline.  And it looks like they are doing just that.

But it’s stupid.

If the police in the UK are prepared to arrest and jail everyone who has said shit on Twitter that they would never say in real life, they better get busy building a lot of new jails.  If the police are going to start arresting everyone who has made a rape or death threat on social media, they can stop by my site.

I’ll give them a whole bunch of names.

And in my case, those threats came from OTHER WOMEN.

But you know what?  I don’t want any of my little cowards arrested.  When I decided to write this blog and put my thoughts out in cyberspace, I accepted that it wasn’t going to be all love and kittens and unicorns farting sparkles and rainbows.


I don’t need the Man to come and police my site.  I do that myself.  I don’t need the Man to come and arrest my haters.  I have a delete key that serves the same function.  And if it ever gets to the point where I don’t feel like I can handle the nastiness, I have an option:

Delete blog.

That isn’t gonna happen, no matter how many haters stop by with their lovely sentiments about rape and bloodshed.  Because I am able to grasp, for some strange reason, that trolls are really just cowards.  I wouldn’t be afraid to face down any of them in real life.


Twitter is an arena where gladiators match wits with retards, all too often.  Sometimes those retards are really nasty and hateful.  And sometimes they are whiny suckholes who can’t take a hit once in a while.


Personally, I like the game.  For the most part, people on my Twitter feed and blog comment in thoughtful, interesting, provoking, amusing and generally intelligent terms. And every one in a while, an asshole shows up and gets all brave.  That is the price for engaging with people I would never, ever have a chance to meet, if it were not for global social media.  I’m more than willing to pay it.


The game doesn’t need to change. Practically speaking, it’s not even possible to police every thought on the internet.  It’s a dangerous precedent to even try.  The players who don’t like the game have two choices:

Get out of the arena


Learn to play better

It’s that simple.

Lots of love,


A beautiful, healthy baby is born into the Family Windsor. Unfortunately, he’s a boy. Cue the feminist ragefest!

24 Jul


Why does this surprise me? Am I really that naïve? I guess I must be. This tweet, following the arrival of Baby Windsor left me gasping in shock. I mean, really?


I’ll give everyone a couple of hours to enjoy this arbitrarily selected baby to gush over before I start reminding you of infant mortality.

What a joyless, miserable three star extra fucking pointy witchy fucking cunt! Who the fuck celebrates the arrival of ANY healthy, happy baby by talking about DEAD BABIES?!?! She’s gone from Delusional Harpy to Hideous Rancor in 140 characters.


We’re gonna need a Jedi to take this one out.

Sadly, Amanda is not the only feminist to express shitty thoughts about the safe arrival of Baby Windsor. I’ve written before about why I love the Royal Family (emphasis on FAMILY), and I think the Duchess in particular raises the ire of feminists for her feminine, wifely, motherly orientation towards the world. The Duchess sends a powerful message to young wanna-be-Princesses.


If you want to capture the heart of the Prince, be beautiful, womanly, supportive, loving, kind, gracious and value your home and husband more than your career or ambitions.

kate 2

Retrograde? Absolutely. Also 100% true.

I was completely expecting Kate to get crapped all over for her aspirations to breastfeed and personally care for Baby Windsor and to live with her mother and perpetuate that whole “babies thrive with their mommies” pack of lies the patriarchy concocted to enslave women and deny them their rightful place as the head of state.

Oh, wait. Brits do have a woman as their Head of State. For 125 of the last 150 years, they have had a woman as the Head of State.



Never mind, then. Babies still suck.

I honestly did not expect the media to go after the BABY, who cannot possibly have committed any crimes, being less than 24 hours old. And how wrong I was. Baby Windsor has already upset the feminazi media and committed the worst sin imaginable:

Baby Windsor is a boy.


Amanda Platell at the Daily Mail leads the chorus of accusation against wee Baby Windsor for committing the grave crime of being a boy.

Sorry, but I STILL wish she’d had a baby girl: In a world so lacking in role models for girls, how extraordinary a young, modern queen-in-waiting could have been.

Excuse me? A world lacking in female role models? Do you mean role models like the GODDAMN QUEEN HERSELF?


Oh, but the Queen is no proper role model, now is she? Calm, sensible, practical, married, the mother of four children. This is the woman who refused to abandon her city and home during the BLITZ!

Keep calm and carry on.

She was no coward, turning tail and hiding out in the safety of the Scottish Highlands while her people were bombarded nightly in devastating raids that claimed tens of thousands of lives. I’ll never forgive George Bush for cupping his tiny weeny and whimpering in the back of Air Force One when 9-11 happened. George, you fucking coward! The President does not get to hide from danger!


No, the Queen is not a role model because she is first and foremost DEDICATED. She is loyal to the bone. Duty defines her existence. Her own personal happiness is irrelevant. She was born to fulfill a destiny, and by god, she intends to do just that until she draws her last breath. We can’t have young girls thinking that duty and destiny and unwavering loyalty to family and community and home are the most important things they can strive to achieve.


Now Diana, she was a bit more to the feminist’s liking. Divorced, ditzy, preoccupied with her appearance, bulimic, flighty, depressed, anxious, spoiled, pampered, entitled – but she still had that utter devotion to her babies problem.


Close, but no cigar.

What do you think Amanda imagines the modern Queen might have been like? And by Amanda, I mean Platell, not Marcotte. We know what Marcotte thinks of the Royal Baby. Royal Baby makes Marcotte think of dead babies. So charming.

Imagine the glamour and fun she could have brought into a world of dreary austerity — a little girl with Kate’s beauty, the Queen’s poise, the Queen Mother’s elegance and maybe even a dash of Diana’s magic.


Glamor! Fun! Beauty! Poise! Elegance! Magic!

These are the qualities that young women are to aspire to? Okay. And then what?

Where is Duty? Responsibility? Loyalty? Tradition? Honor? Obligation? Sacrifice? Maturity? Commitment?


Oh, those are the dreary virtues MALE monarchs bring to the conversation. Stupid men. Always thinking about the well-being of others. Longing to protect and provide and lead when there are so many garden parties to attend.

Not only are male royals less of a crowd-pleaser than their female counterparts, they can find their role to be trying. Attending garden parties and making small talk are rather emasculating, as Prince Charles has discovered.

The effect of monarchy on masculinity is shown by the fact many royal men wear military uniforms weighed down by medals when they’ve never seen battle.

Despite longing to serve their country in wartime, neither Charles nor William was allowed to do so, and it is unlikely to change for the new heir.

Belinda Luscombe at Time Magazine lends her voice to the dirge bemoaning Baby Windsor’s boyness.

Yes, yes, any baby is a blessing and any healthy baby is wonderful and we’re so lucky to have been around for this historic event and congrats and cigars and yay and all, but dammit, I wanted a Queen. I wanted a royal baby girl.

And count on Jezebel to take a long cool drink from the baby boy haterade.

We’ll admit it: When the announcement came through — it’s a boy! — we were ever-so-slightly deflated. We thought it was going to be a girl, and frankly, the idea of a brand new princess seems more interesting.

Baby girls: much more interesting than baby boys.


Katie Halper can’t resist adding her dulcet tones to the refrain chastising poor Baby Windsor for being a boy.

If anything, having a female baby would have been much more exciting and historic than a male one, thanks to a recent law.

What law is that? Oh, right. The one that says the first born ascends the throne no matter what gender they happen to be. This is something to celebrate, but only if the first born is a girl. Boy first-borns can sit down and shut up, right?

The law, while new, has been de facto in effect for decades. Charles IS the first born. So is William. Sadly, they are both males.


Some part of me likes to whisper in the back of my mind, “you know, JB, maybe you’re being just a little bit harsh here. Maybe there are SOME redeeming qualities to modern feminism. Maybe they just don’t realize how hateful they sound”.

That voice has been permanently silenced today.

I don’t think the two Amandas or Belinda or Dodai or Katie are outliers. They are unashamedly, openly mourning the fact that a beautiful little boy was born, and wishing him out of existence, replaced in their imaginations by a girl.


Someone explain to me again how misandry isn’t a thing. We hear over and over again about the sex selective abortions of baby girls who simply aren’t valued as much as boys (and for a really interesting perspective on that, I encourage you to check out this article at A Voice for Men).

And yet, there seems to be no reaction whatsoever to a chorus of women bemoaning the fact that the new Royal Baby is a boy. How soon will it be until one of them chastises Kate for not aborting him?


I think we can probably count on Amanda Marcotte to be the first hag slurping at that trough. Oh, look! Here she is already, adding a discussion of abortion to her Baby Windsor infant mortality tweet.

Yep, getting confirmation from conservative obsessives that they really do believe abortion is worse than infant mortality

Anyone know a Jedi? I am in serious need of a Jedi Knight. Nothing else can deal with a monster of this magnitude.


Lots of love,


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