Tag Archives: Boston

Boston, part two. For all the boys who weren’t in blue.

18 Apr

Yesterday, we looked at all the men in uniforms who were on hand to react to the bombings at the Boston Marathon. Today I want to talk about all the men who reacted, not because it was their JOB to, but because they were there, and they cared.


Let’s start with this man:


His name is Dick Hoyt, and he is standing behind his son, Rick, beside a bronze statue unveiled to commemorate this amazing father’s love for his son.

Rick was born with cerebral palsy and is quadriplegic, the result of oxygen deprivation at birth.

At his birth, doctors were blunt. ‘They said, ‘Forget Rick, put him away, put him in an institution, he’s going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life,’ said Dick told the Today Show earlier this month.

‘Today he’s 51-years old and we still haven’t figured out what kind of vegetable he is – and guess what? That vegetable has been turned into a bronze statue.’


We don’t see many representations of these kinds of Dads in the media. Popular culture loves the “fat oaf with no good advice to give his kids”, while his beautiful wife manages everything with grace, skill and aplomb. Dads are at best stupid, and at worst irrelevant.


Here is Rick, pulling his beloved son on a raft as they compete in an Ironman race.


The book the two of them wrote, chronicling the +1000 races they have taken part in is, unsurprisingly, called Devoted.


The Hoyts were less than a mile from the finish line when the bombs went off, and true to form, Dick got his son to safety, with the help of a Good Samaritan.

Here is another father who was on hand when the pressure cookers detonated:


His name is Carlos Arrendondo. Once upon a time, Carlos had two sons, Brian and Alexander. A sniper took Alexander from him in Iraq, and he lost his other son to suicide. Brian couldn’t face life without his brother. Carlos was at the finish line to cheer on soldiers running to honor their fallen comrades, and when the initial blast tore through the spectators, most people ran.


Carlos ran to.

Without regard for his own safety, he ran to the injured and came across a young man named Jeff Bauman Jr, who suffered horrific injuries to his lower legs.


That’s Jeff’s femoral artery that Carlos is holding, pinching it shut to staunch the flow of blood. The above picture is cropped. If you want to see the full extent of what Carlos was dealing with, click the link below. Be warned, it’s graphic and horrifying.


Carlos is being hailed a hero, and rightly so. His boys may be dead, but he is still a father, and when a young man needed him, he was there.

That’s what fathers do.


Here’s another young man who is a different kind of hero.


His name is Matt. He didn’t know Sydney, the girl he is comforting. He came across her and dropped to his knees and put his arms around her and offered her comfort.

That immediately sparked a Twitter rumor that he was, in fact, proposing to his girlfriend, and while that seems like an innocent and sweet thing to assume, there is darker undercurrent to that story.


Is it really so impossible to believe that Matt simply wanted to help? That he saw a beautiful young girl, horribly injured and all he wanted to do was aid her? Comfort her? That doesn’t fit with how we view young men who come across vulnerable young women, does it?

Here’s another man, who found an injured girl and carried her to an ambulance. His name is Tyler, and he is double Purple Heart recipient.



And once again, the media is spinning the story as a blossoming romance.


And who knows? Maybe it is. That would be a wonderful ending to a sad story, but there is something unpalatable about needing to cast men as having a motivation OTHER than just basic goodness and kindness.

Why can’t Tyler and Matt just be good men, full stop?

I’m not saying that women didn’t react with similar selflessness and bravery. Nonsense. Here is a woman at the scene of the blast, not knowing if there were more to come, helping to save an injured man.


But we don’t need a story to explain her actions. We assume that women are kind and good and will do whatever they can to help.

Not long ago, we made the exact same assumptions about men. There was even a word to describe the actions of men who behaved heroically and selflessly towards women: chivalry.


In a world where bad things usually happen in faraway countries that we really don’t have to confront in any meaningful way, it’s easy for feminism to decry chivalry as nothing more than benevolent sexism. And they do.




And quite understandably, the response from men has been “well, fuck you then”. There are lots of good reasons why men no longer feel any obligation or desire to behave chivalrously towards women.


When the discussion revolves around opening doors, or buying dinner, or hailing cabs, it looks all very benign and reasonable. But when you add a threat, a real threat, it becomes astonishingly clear what feminism is costing us, as a society.

Hero. The word is used to unironically describe men who act with courage and selflessness, but you hardly ever see the inversion of the word: men who are heroes are offering their own lives in exchange for others. When you race into danger, you agree to risk your own life to save others. Many men do that instinctively. Without thought. It’s a part of themselves they do not actively control.


A man walks into a movie theater with a loaded gun, and the men instinctively throw themselves across women.

To protect them.

To save them.



Instinct or innate behavior is the inherent inclination of a living organism toward a particular complex behavior


When feminists call for the end of chivalry, they are calling, explicitly, for the end of men being men. They are declaring the natural and innate behaviors of men unacceptable and undesirable. I suppose that’s a step up from just abusing those instincts, but not much of one.

And I would like to see just how loud the average feminist would scream for the death of chivalry when she is the one standing in a crowd and a bomb goes off.

Women in the developed, Western world live pampered lives of globally unprecedented luxury. We have those lives because men, countless millions of men, have been heroes.



They died to provide us with this life. It takes a bomb to show us how they continue to provide and protect and serve us. And in exchange for that, they ask for gratitude. For acknowledgement. To be given credit for their sacrifice.

Is that so much to ask? Show some fucking gratitude.

I’ll end with a quote from great lady who understood that she could be great without destroying men.


“The feminists hate me, don’t they? And I don’t blame them. For I hate feminism. It is poison.”

Margaret Thatcher

Indeed, Margaret. Feminism has poisoned the well of our society for long enough.

It’s time for a detox.

Lots of love,


A bomb goes off in Boston and shows America why we need men.

17 Apr


We’re going to talk about Boston today, and I will be referring to a lot of pictures, some of which are pretty gory and upsetting and quite possibly NSFW on that account. FYI.


There are a lot of different subjects tangled up in Boston, but I want to narrow in on one very specific aspect of the bombing that I have yet to see covered anywhere in the media. I want to talk about the fact that the majority, by far, of the people who responded to the tragedy in real, practical, tangible ways were men, and how we ignore the incredibly important role that men play in keeping our world safe, despite the evidence for that being overwhelming.


Let’s start with this picture right here. There are almost a hundred people in the foreground of this picture alone. Police officers, paramedics, fire fighters, and a lot of people who look like race organizers. What do they have in common? What is the one feature that unites almost all of them?




They’re men.


There appears to be a medical technician of some sort and a few women who were clearly spectators or race participants and at least one woman who seems to be a victim, and although the uniforms can make it hard to distinguish which police officers are women, most of them are clearly identifiable as men. So are the firefighters. Almost everybody in this picture is unambiguously male.


Not that surprising, really. The Boston Police Force has an active roster of 2170 sworn officers, 13% of whom are women. That’s 282 officers.


http://www.bpdnews.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/Annual-report-2010-reduced.pdf (contains the active duty number, but no gender breakdown)


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boston_Police_Department#Demographics (gender breakdown here)


At least one female police officer was at the marathon when the bomb went off:




She has her gun drawn and she’s wearing gold button earrings.


I can’t find any evidence that the Boston Police Department actively discriminates against women; indeed, quite the opposite. The first women joined the force in 1921, and in 2004 the force appointed Katie O’Toole as the first female commissioner. Seems like women in Boston who want to be police officers CAN be, and they can rise as far in the department as their skills will allow.





The fact is that women don’t generally want to be police officers. It’s dangerous, physically demanding work that puts you in contact with some pretty vicious, unpleasant people, and women typically don’t like those sorts of jobs. Even when police forces actively try to recruit women, offering them advantages over male applicants, they still find few takers.




Policing is something that appeals to men, and consequently the boys in blue really are mostly boys. No one is keeping the girls out of the club. They don’t want to be there.


Looks like ladies don’t like being paramedics much, either.




Or firefighters.




Or state troopers.




Or bomb disposal experts.




Or crime scene technicians.




Or soldiers.




Or FBI agents.




Or SWAT team members.


Boston Deals With Aftermath Of Marathon Explosions


Or Emergency Medical Technicians




Or Secret Service.




Are you getting the picture here?


A bomb goes off. Shrapnel tears through a crowd taking lives and limbs with it. The world turns into fire and smoke and blood and death, and into that fray run the people who are trained and sworn to save us.


And those people are overwhelmingly men.


Of the 30+ people in this picture, two appear to be women. All the rest are men.




Louis C.K. says that men represent the greatest threat of danger and injury to women. Looks to me like men represent the best safeguard against danger and injury, for other men and women alike.




It’s easy to believe the rah-rah bullshit of the feminist “ladies can do anything” mantra when the world is stable and steady and safe and predictable. Toss a bomb in the mix and reality becomes impossible to ignore.




It’s easy to believe men don’t matter, that it’s the End of Men, until someone packs a pressure cooker full of ball-bearings.




It’s easy to think men are disposable, and irrelevant and useless until the fire comes sweeping down the street.




The reason the world we live in is mostly stable and safe and predictable is BECAUSE men exist, and they take on the job of keeping our world safe and sane. And when bad things happen, it’s men who are there to help, to serve, to shield, to protect.




Let’s honor these men now. Let’s acknowledge their power, their strength, their courage. Let’s acknowledge their authority, their valor, their bravery.


Honor them now. And pray you never need them.


Lots of love,



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