Tag Archives: Esther Walker

Think there’s no war on men? Read this.

12 Dec

So Esther Walker, who hates her unborn son has a husband, Giles (poor Giles).

 

Let’s pretend that it is Giles who hates the thought of daughter. Here is his story.

 

Word for word, Esther’s article with the genders reversed. You can read the original article here:

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2245681/Its-taboo-admit-I-wish-unborn-baby-wasnt-beastly-boy.html

 

It’s taboo to admit it, but I wish my unborn baby wasn’t a disgusting girl!

 

girl

 

 

By Giles Walker

Please, not a girl,’ I hissed at my brother Harry. ‘If it’s a girl, I’ll just die. I can only deal with one woman in my life… and sometimes that’s one too many.’

 

I’d just announced my wife’s second pregnancy, and a nagging fear that had started from the moment I saw her positive pregnancy test weeks earlier had grown into a full-blown conviction that I felt ashamed to admit out loud. I really didn’t want a girl.

 

Please don’t condemn me. I know very little about girls, coming from a family of all boys, but what I have seen I really haven’t liked. Girls are gross; they antagonize their siblings with words, are obsessed with mirrors, casually destroy local reputations and turn into disgusting teenage girls and then superficial, narcissistic women.

 

My wife Esther and I already have one boy, 22-month-old Kieran, and this second pregnancy has been so different and so much worse than the first, with horrid morning sickness from the outset, that I was starting to panic that there was something radically different about it, i.e. there was that alternative, dreaded gender in the mix.

 

There were reasons why I could confess my girl aversion only to my brother. Fathers who declare a gender preference out loud are breaking a huge taboo — the acceptable thing to say is that your only care is that the child is healthy and happy.

 

If someone is rude enough to press you, you must stare off into the distance with a martyrish look on your face and say: ‘Well, I suppose it would be nice to have one of each.’ And then you leave it there.

 

If you are like Victoria Beckham or Jools Oliver and already have three of one gender, you are allowed to hope for one or the other, but that’s the only situation in which it’s acceptable to have any opinion. Otherwise you are just a bit monstrous and ungrateful — what about all the men who can’t have children at all?

 

But the truth is I like boys, I understand boys and I’ve always dreaded the idea of having a girl. People say how sweet and gentle girls are and how boisterous and messy boys are. But what use is a verbally-manipulative girl to me? I wouldn’t know where to start. I know exactly where I am with boys and their plain speaking. I’m a plain speaker myself. I’m a Grand Master of plain speaking.

 

But alas, it seems Mother Nature has other ideas. The other day, my wife lay in the sonographer’s office as he moved the ultrasound wand over her already-fat stomach, and my worst fears were confirmed.

 

‘There are the hands, there . . .’ he said. He moved the wand around for the ‘up-skirt shot’ as my wife calls it. ‘And there are the soles of the little feet,’ he cooed. There was a loaded silence as we both stared at the white gash on the screen between the legs.

 

‘Oh God, is it a girl?!’ I said, a little bit too loudly.

 

‘Well,’ said the sonographer. ‘You can’t confirm anything at 12 weeks, you really have to wait to 20 weeks to be sure, but . . . it does look suspicious, doesn’t it?’

 

I felt light-headed; was the nausea I was feeling from sympathetic morning sickness or horror at the prospect of a woman-child?

 

Out on the street I reached out for Esther, with a shaking hand. She feels exactly the same as I do. Her adoration, worship, love and fanatical devotion to our son since the day of his birth has made the idea of having a girl unthinkable.

 

Before we left, Esther had been chasing bees and cats in the park with Kieran, who was wearing a cape (the one with the big silver lightening bolt, and using an assortment of sponge weapons to defend her against monsters, including dragons, flying monkeys and cyclops).

 

I thought about Ester’s scan and turned to speak to her. “All fine, only one head, in the right place and all that. And, it looks like it might be . . .’ I stalled, praying she would be more enthusiastic about the prospect of a girl than me ‘. . . a GIRL!’

 

‘Yeah,’ said Esther. ‘Great!’ But I could tell her heart wasn’t in it.

 

She wants only boys in her life, she confessed later. Sweet little boys who will tumble about, kiss her nose and say ‘Love you Mommy’, not little girls with their dramatic sobbing, endless pleas for more shoes, and demands to have their hair curled and their nails painted.

 

She has been badly affected by a tale she was told by a mother of three girls, describing how she’d spent a beach holiday last year.

 

‘I was being Sympathetic Mom, listening to petty comparisons amongst girls, complaints about how much other girls weighed, who had the longest hair, legs, eyelashes,’ said the mom. ‘It was exhausting. We were pitched on the beach next to a mom of two boys and she was helping them build an amazing sand castle, while they roughhoused with each other and laughed and threw a Frisbee back and forth. I love my girls but it did look like this gal was having a pretty amazing holiday.’

 

This story still ringing in her ears, I knew that Esther wouldn’t be any more thrilled than I was about our impending arrival — a fact which made me feel even more guilty.

 

What is wrong with us? How could I — how could we — be so mean and cold as to have such a strong preference as to the gender of our unborn child? There’s a reason that it’s taboo to admit to these feelings: they are deeply unpleasant.

 

Yet they are not entirely without foundation.

Neither Esther nor I come from a family of women. Indeed, we are from families of men. I have three brothers. My wife has one brother. My father has two brothers, as does my mother. When casually discussing the issue of fidelity, one Christmas my mother looked up from the historical biography she was engrossed in and said: ‘An affair is out of the question for me; I need another man in my life like I need a hole in the head.’ Then she held out her teacup for a refill.

 

It is little wonder we are suspicious of little girls. Deeply, deeply suspicious. I once read a survey that had found families with two boys were the happiest and I chose to believe it completely.

 

It’s not just me. Mumsnet identifies the phenomenon of the SMOB — the Smug Mother Of Boys. They love their little boys and find girls manipulative, deceptive, superficial, shallow and jealous. At playgroups, they will draw their boys closer to them when any girl comes within three feet.

 

To offset the occasional hardship and boredom of looking after small children, my wife gets in return a little knight whose goal in life is to protect her, like the crazy idealized image of manhood she read in a romance novel.

 

Little boys, with their own interest in courageous things and willingness to have their armor dented and to wield impressive weaponry, fit in with this ridiculous pursuit of the romantic and the perfect in a way that self-absorbed little girls do not.

 

For most girls don’t want to do strenuous things like jousting, racing cars, and making up their own chants to march in parade to. They want to berate other girls and whisper snidely, wear 40 outfits in one day, have petty emotional outbursts, tease their friends until someone develops an eating disorder which they can then mock on Facebook.

And, in the end, your girls will leave you for another man. They will get boyfriends, who will only be interested in your girl because she’s a giant slut and hands out blowjobs like mints at the dentist’s office.

 

These boys might even — horror! — marry your girl and take her, and your grandchildren, away for ever. It is the father of the groom who is the centre of attention, it is the maternal grandfather who traditionally gets the action with the grandchildren. You stand to lose everything!

 

Yet, despite my fears, rationally speaking, I know I am being unfair. Of all the little girls I know — and I know an awful lot, including my three nieces — I only know two who are really horrid, whom I avoid because they are so spiteful and crazed.

 

My nieces can be charming with my son, throwing balls to him or bringing him toys they think he might like. They laugh until they cry when he takes a long drink of water and then gasps ‘Ahhh!’

 

And, by the same token, I know several vile little boys, who snatch and scream and throw tantrums and narrow their eyes at my son and shriek ‘No babies allowed!’ because he is a few months younger than them.

 

More to the point, there is no getting away from the fact that my new baby is a girl, and I have no choice but to get used to it. I will have to get used to a different nappy-changing experience and accept that there will be a lot more plastic Barbie dolls in the house.

 

I must put aside my daydreams of Kieran and his little brother holding hands, dressed as knights or superheroes. I will have to get used to the house having much more emotionally charged conflict and being held up in the kitchen with a long diatribe about what a slag Melissa is. I will just have to hope that Kieran and his sister can find things that they like doing together.

 

This will be helped by the fact that, if I’m honest, Kieran isn’t exactly like the little boys in the Lego Ninjago comics: he won’t let me spike his hair and he’s fond of heading straight to the most enormous, cupcake he can find and licking it.

 

In fact, while my wife and I might be worried about a little girl spoiling our vision for a rough and tumble, joyful little family with a fondness for all things football, Kieran would probably like nothing better than a baby sister with whom he can play Conquering Mars.

 

Although if I send her off to playgroup dressed as Batman, that’s my business…

Hate your son before he’s even born? Oh what a charming mother you’ll be!

11 Dec

 

 

Esther Walker, who writes for the Daily Mail is having a baby! Sadly, her baby is horribly deformed and has detectable, irreversible damage.  The baby will be “gross”, will have a strong inclination to “attack siblings with a stick”, “murder local wildlife” and will eventually go through a growth process that leads from “disgusting” to “boring and selfish”. The baby will have severe personality defects and engage in “dramatic weeing, endless reeling off of statistics, messiness and demands to kick around a football on freezing, dank Sunday mornings”.

 

Wow.  That is one hell of a set of defects! What disease does the baby have?

 

He’s a boy.

 

baby boy

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2245681/Its-taboo-admit-I-wish-unborn-baby-wasnt-beastly-boy.html

 

And his mother hates him before he is even born.  She fears that he will be plain-speaking, love dinosaurs and be “yucky, noisy, smelly, boisterous and destructive”.

“Please, not a boy,’ I hissed at my sister Harriet. ‘If it’s a boy, I’ll just die. I can only deal with one man in my life… and sometimes that’s one too many.’”

 

dinosaur

 

That poor baby.  There’s not really very much to say to a woman so vile, is there?  Esther whinges about the fact that expressing her hatred for her unborn son is “taboo” without appearing to realize that it’s taboo because it’s fucking terrible.  What a singularly awful person.

 

This little boy really has only one hope in life: his daddy.  And how does daddy feel about his little son?  According to Esther, he’s not thrilled either, but I think we can take that with a wee grain of salt.  How on earth Giles (her husband) ended up married to such an appalling shrew is difficult to contemplate, but he’s married now, and if he wants to be in his children’s life in any meaningful way, he’s gonna have to suck it up.

 

Giles, this is all up to you now.  It seems that your wife plans on bringing this little boy into the world, even though she despises him, and I have some advice for you:

 

http://judgybitch.com/2012/11/04/six-steps-to-raising-a-son-in-a-feminist-world/

 

You’re going to have to go that extra mile with your little guy and protect him not only from the world, but from his mother, as well.  That’s incredibly sad, but appears to be true. To give your son the ammunition he will need to grow into a man, here are some things you need to do:

 

skin

 

Bless him with your body.  In all likelihood, your son will know fairly early on that his mother doesn’t care for him and finds him “deeply suspicious”.  Hopefully, she will at least agree to feed him, but I wouldn’t count on it.

 

http://judgybitch.com/2012/11/13/refusing-to-breastfeed-your-child-yeah-that-makes-you-a-shit-mother/

 

Spend lots of time with your son on your chest.  Carry him, snuggle him, stroke him, let him know that there is nothing shameful about a man’s body and that he is loved by YOU.  Do NOT let your awful wife chuck him in a cage and leave him to cry.  That is one of the very worst parenting decisions you can make.  Nothing in your son’s primal brain allows for that kind of neglect.  Babies are born utterly helpless and leaving them alone in the dark to cry themselves to sleep is beyond cruel and disgusting.  No doubt your wife will try to convince you this is some sort of necessary “training”, but if you want some insight into what kind of person you are married to, read her articles at the Daily Mail.

 

Let him fall asleep wrapped in your warm, strong embrace and let him wake up there, too.

 

embrace

 

He will learn that his desire to be strong so that he can protect is natural and valuable.  You will teach him that by protecting him, especially from his mother.

 

Let him explore. Your wife views your daughter as a fashion accessory.  Don’t think so? She wrote those exact words.  Not a person.  Not an individual.  An accessory.  Something to complement her latest handbag and shoes.  Jesus, Giles.  What the hell were you thinking?  Do not let her use your son this way.  Teaching him that he is nothing more than a device to make Mommy look better is setting him up to be used and abused by women all his life (is that what happened to you?).  Let him crawl through dirt, eat sand, play with worms and jump in puddles. He will be dirty and messy and not much use as a fashion accessory, but he will know that his need to explore and discover and investigate and manipulate the world is exactly what he SHOULD be doing.

 

worms

 

Encourage your wife to work, a lot, and as far away from home as possible.  It’s too late to give your son a warm, loving, adoring mother, but you can protect your son by keeping him close to you and as far away from her as possible. If it means you have to make changes to your own career and occupation, do it.  Your son will only be little for a short period of time, and he needs you to be there for him.   You need to actively counter the idea that he is gross and vile and disgusting and selfish(yes, those are all words your wife used to describe her son), and show him that he is bold and strong and courageous and capable.  If you don’t, no one will.

 

daddy

Let him be who he is.  Not all little boys WANT to eat dirt and play in mud. Most of them do, but your son will come to you with a personality and some preferences already in place.  He could be a gentle, bookish boy who prefers to be indoors with his kitten and a cup of tea.  And that’s fine.  Whatever he is, and whoever he is, he will learn to value himself as a person when YOU value him as a person. He is an extension of your genes and body, but not an extension of you.  Protect him and let him be who he is.

 

kitten

Little boys are sweet and funny and affectionate and tumbly.  They are also messy and boisterous and noisy and demanding.  You may have little warrior or a gentle poet, a great explorer or a quiet lover of history and biography.  Whatever you have, you will eventually have a man. To be a good man, he’s going to need a good father.

 

father

 

Be that father, Giles.  Your son is counting on you.  And so are the rest of us.

 

Lots of love,

 

JB

 

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