Tag Archives: hourglass figure

Breaking news: Mr. JB is an oppressive, sexist asshole who only likes me for my boobs!

8 Mar

This study is actually pretty hilarious!

Men’s Oppressive Beliefs Predict Their Breast Size Preferences in Women



Lads! Come on now! Enough with the oppression! Stop liking my boobs so much!


You know, it always make me laugh when people claim Marilyn Monroe was “plus size”. What the fuck? Here are her measurements from her dressmaker. You know, the lady who actually made her clothes:

Weight: 118-140 pounds

Bust: 35-37 inches

Waist: 22-23 inches

Hips: 35-36 inches

Bra size: 36D


Marilyn had a beautiful hourglass figure, with ample hips and an impressively tiny waist and oh, that rack!

marilyn 2

JudgyBitch also rocks an hourglass figure, although mine is not quite as dramatic as Marilyn’s.


I was a late-bloomer, and didn’t grow into my curves until I was well over 16 years old, and during my teenage years, my figure was a source of great embarrassment to me. It attracted attention I was in no way prepared to deal with from men much older than myself. I was totally a big sweaters and jeans kind of girl.


Wait, you mean I didn’t shove my boobs into a bustier and prance around and then complain about all the men staring at me?


Nope. Never got on that train. Well, not in high school. University was a whole different ballgame, but I was ready by that time to deal with the reactions. My experience has been that men like my figure and my breasts very much. Little did I know that only SOME men like large breasts:

Sexist, Oppressive Assholes

You fuckers!

Sadly, all the men I dated were experts at hiding their oppressive beliefs and sexism and treated me like, oh, I don’t know… a lovely, desirable woman. That in itself is oppressive and sexist, though.

The researchers found that the largest percentage of participants (32.7 percent) rated medium-sized breasts as “most attractive,” followed by large (24.4 percent), very large (19.1 percent), small (15.5 percent) and very small (8.3 percent). However, a preference for large and very large breasts was significantly correlated with overt sexism, benevolent sexism, female objectification and hostile attitudes toward women. This connection was strongest when it came to benevolent sexism. In other words, men who tend to idealize “traditional” femininity and perceive women as meek and weak, are also the most likely to prefer big boobs. “It is arguable that benevolently sexist men perceived larger female breasts as attractive because larger breast size on a woman is associated with perceived femininity,” wrote the researchers.

Well now. Let’s start to unpack all this, shall we?

First of all, what is benevolent sexism?


Benevolent sexism is when men treat women nicely. ANY special treatment, like opening a car door, or giving up your subway seat, when done for a woman, by a man, constitutes sexism. Differential treatment on the basis of gender is always, ipso facto, sexist.

Unless it’s women treating men differently on the basis of gender. That’s okay then. No opening doors, you sexist, condescending pig! But I will totally let you carry that heavy box for me.



Gosh, how surprising! Another utterly hypocritical and just plain old fucking stupid idea from feminism.

Now how about that traditional femininity notion the researchers are operating with? Weak and meek.


Are you fucking kidding me? Well, clearly, I’m doing femininity wrong. Perhaps I should change my blog to WeakMeekBitch? Okay, so the takeaway from all this is that men who like feminine women also tend to like breasts? Gee, I hope the taxpayers funded this study. Because the association between breasts and femininity has long been obscure, right? Thank goodness we finally have that mystery cleared up.


Let’s assume that the researchers define femininity as being weak and meek because they’re cunts. I think it’s pretty reasonable to assume the male research subjects were using the more accepted definition, like this one from Wikipedia:

Gentleness, empathy, sensitivity, caring, sweetness, compassion, tolerance, nurturance, deference, and succorance are behaviors generally considered feminine.


There’s one word in particular that pretty much sums up femininity: pleasant. Feminine women are pleasant. They are warm and friendly and just generally nice to be around. I’m a fucking bitch on this blog, but in real life, I’m actually a very pleasant person. And I think everyone who knows me would define me as feminine.

Here’s a secret most women appear to have forgotten: when you are pleasant, people, especially men, but absolutely other women too, will return your pleasantry.

No! I swear! It’s totally true. I live in a small town, where people are just generally pleasant to one another as a matter of course, but I recently had an opportunity to travel to one of the largest, most ethnically diverse city on the planet, and guess what?

Everybody was pleasant to me.

Number of times I took a subway ride without chatting with someone? Zero

Number of times I had to stand on the subway while surrounded by sitting men? Zero

Number of times I had to carry my own suitcase from one subway platform to another? Zero

Amount of money I had to pay when I fucked up reading my boarding pass and missed my flight? Zero


Look at this shirt the ladies at Jezebel are all in a squee over:



This shirt is for ladies who go storming about with their permanent bitch-face on and from the size of it, permanent lard-ass, too. Just imagine it: a scowling, pissy woman trucking along at whatever speed her heft will allow and she needs a shirt to tell people to basically fuck-off and who wants to guess whether she gets treated like shit a whole lot?


fat bitch

But that’s because patriarchy. And oppression. And objectification. And unreasonable beauty standards. Not because, you know, she’s a miserable cow to everyone around her. I’m guessing it doesn’t matter what size her breasts are – she’s not likely to get much positive male attention.

I really don’t understand the rationale behind wanting to live in a world in which people are not pleasant to one another and do not notice one another’s physical attributes. What is to be gained by defining men’s tendency to be polite and cordial to women as OPPRESSION? There is so much to be lost, obviously, but what is gained? What do we gain when we refuse to see one another as fully human, including aspects of our gender and sexuality?

Is it a question of all the fat miserable bitches making sure no one is treated with kindness because they themselves are not? There is another solution to that, you know: lose some weight and try smiling.

If a man wanting to open the door for me, or let me go first, or offer me his seat or carry my suitcase is oppression, then gentlemen, by all means, please oppress me. My feeling is that men aren’t nice to me BECAUSE I’m a woman. They’re nice to me because I’m nice to them. They respond positively to me because I’m pleasant. Kindness and warmth is returned with kindness and warmth.


In my experience.

Well, it’s either that, or just that I have really great tits!


Lots of love,


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