Tag Archives: Maureen O’Connor

I have sexual fantasies about random men all the time. Apparently, that’s really bad. Some dude wants to punch me in the face because I THINK about sex with men. WTF?

22 Jun

(Some images may be NSFW)

I’m a happily married stay-at-home mother.  I like men.  Sometimes I fantasize about random men I meet on the street.  Do I really have to stop doing that?

Just yesterday, I could see the traffic piling up as I cruised down the sidewalk, and there he was.  Maybe 25? He was directing traffic in a bullet-proof vest (I have no idea why – we really don’t have a lot of violent crime in this town), wearing a short sleeved blue uniform that fit everywhere it touched, and those biceps! It wasn’t hard to imagine them wrapped around me.

Oh god.


And the kid who works in the produce section?  Oh my!  Okay, he can’t be more than 17, but his body is just smoking hot and the apron!  The apron kills me.  I picture him standing there with nothing but an apron.  The produce section gets pretty warm!


Yeah, he’s underage, but all I’m doing is thinking, for Christ’s sake.  Is that really a crime? I’m not going to do anything!  I’m happily married and I’m pretty sure that rippling 17 year old has no idea what three children do to a woman’s body and even if he did, so what?

It’s just fantasy.  Harmless, right?  And to my understanding, pretty normal.  Doesn’t everyone have sexual fantasies about all the various attractive people they see on a day to day basis?  It’s a nice source of energy that I take home and spend on the man I’m certain other women (and some men) undress in their minds on a regular basis.


No biggie.

Well, apparently, some guy writing at New York Mag thinks women like me are vile, disgusting creatures who should be deeply ashamed of ever admitting to such revolting thoughts. And not just that, he wants to physically HURT me for daring to express what he considers illicit, shameful, dirty desire.

Deep in the testosterone soaked recesses of my male imagination, I fantasize about tearing these women limb from limb.

I am fantasizing about snapping their fingers, one by one.

If I had more respect for women, I might indulge my fantasy about punching one of them in the gut so hard that she doubles over in pain for a moment.

punching bag

I kind of don’t understand that last sentence.  More respect = punching in the gut?  Guess I’m glad that guy doesn’t have more respect then. What really pisses him off is that in expressing my completely and utterly NORMAL fantasies that I have no intention of acting on, I’m encouraging other women to share in my imagination, and that’s horribly oppressive for men.

Because objectification.

I would just shut up. I might indulge my fantasy a bit with my friends — just to blow off steam — but I would not use my guilt over wanting to punch women in the face as an excuse to indulge my face-punching fantasies. I would have enough self-awareness to stop myself.

Isn’t there a pretty huge difference between imagining making love to someone (I don’t imagine raping these men – they’re all enthusiastic participants in my little momentary indulgences)  and imagining punching them in the face?  Dude, you SHOULD feel guilty for wanting to punch women in the face for having sexual thoughts.  That’s bizarre and disturbing and why do you care what I think anyways?

The heart wants what the heart wants, and my heart wants violence.

Seriously, I’m concerned for this man’s mental health.  Okay, I get that it might be a bit disconcerting for men to realize that just the simple act of leaving the house can result in women lusting quietly in their minds for your body, and you as a person probably doesn’t play a huge role in the fantasy, because A) it’s a fantasy!; and B) I don’t know you.

Maybe that plays into our whole notion of men as mere utilities, but I’m not thinking about raiding your pants for your wallet!

Sure, I may want to throw women with filthy minds into a tank full of hungry sharks, but in fact I’m just going to write this blog post, smile patronizingly, and let it all be. Violent rage is the background music every time you read a troll-baiting article on the Internet.

I’m not sure what part of simply acknowledging that I have sexual fantasies about men is troll-baiting, and I find it disturbing that violent rage is this man’s reaction. Maybe he has had some really bad experiences with women who just used him for his body?  Maybe he gave up sex quickly in the hopes of having a relationship and got burned over and over again?  I don’t know, but admitting that I have naughty thoughts about barely legal boys whom I do not know and whom I have no intention of pursuing ever, under any circumstances doesn’t seem to me to be the sort of admission that warrants a death sentence by sharks.

Maybe that’s just me?

Violence is bad. Don’t act violently toward sexually prurient women. And don’t feel bad about being horny, ladies. It happens. Just keep it to yourself.

Oh, I see. At the end of the day, you really do understand that fantasizing about snapping my fingers or punching me or murdering me is bad, and you are equating that to normal, healthy sexual desire that happens in my MIND?


You just want me to shut up and never express that desire.  Let shame silence me.  The normal reactions of my ordinary brain are completely revolting to you and you want me and my desire to just fuck off.


Well, sorry dude, but I think you are seriously fucked up and you have a bad case of hating women.  The violence you would like to do to me makes me really question your sanity.  They’re just thoughts and it’s totally normal for human to have sexual fantasies about other humans.

This is just the kind of description of violence against women that the new Facebook policy is designed to address, no?


And if a man really HAD written all those things about punching women and breaking their bones, you can be damn sure Facebook would tear it down instantly.  Actually, they wouldn’t have to, because New York Mag would never have published it in the first place.

But, oh look.  It wasn’t a woman expressing her sexual desire that never leaves the contours of her imagination:  it was a man.  His name is Andy Hinds.  He’s all twisted up about whether he can be a good feminist and still imagine fucking the ladies at his yoga class.  Imagine fucking.  Not actually fucking.  Just thinking.


And it wasn’t a man who responded with complete and utter disgust to the idea that normal humans have sexual fantasies, it was a woman.  Her name is Maureen O’Connor, and yes, she wrote about punching Andy and snapping his fingers and compared her desire to visit real, actual harm on him to his THOUGHTS about sex.

If he can think about sex, why can’t she think about bones breaking and sharks tearing into human flesh?



Here’s why, you stupid cow:  Murder is a crime.  Thinking about sex is not.

Keep it to yourself, she writes.  Because male sexuality (which is pretty damn similar to female sexuality in terms of fantasies and desires) offends her to the core.  Maureen despises men who think about women in sexual terms.

This is the image that heads her piece:


No joke.

This is Maureen.  She’s a pleasant enough looking woman. Kinda geeky and nerdy.   What the fuck is her problem with men?


Here’s my theory:  Andy played a neat little trick on the feminist ladies by claiming to be one of them and a man at the same time.  He slipped his neck into the feminist noose and then cracked open his brain to admit when he sees women, he wants to fuck them.

Ergo, he’s still a man.

And that’s unacceptable.

Could it be more clear?  Feminism isn’t about social or political or economic equality for women (that was achieved long ago).  It’s about eradication, and what cannot be exterminated will be silenced.


I think Maureen should take her own advice:  her fantasies about breaking and maiming and murdering men are instructive, but there is danger in painting such a clear picture of what her ideology is really about.

Keep it to yourself.  The truth has a tendency to set people free.  I hope Andy Hinds is the first one to realize he is advocating for an ideology that can really only be described a hate movement.  And I hope he goes to yoga class today and imagines every single one of the ladies naked and sweaty and underneath him.

You can bet your ass that a few of the ladies will be thinking the same thing about him.

And why not?


Sex is a part of nature. I go along with nature.

Marilyn Monroe

Me too, Marilyn!  Me too.

Lots of love,


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