Tag Archives: Simone de Beauvoir

The genius of women, or the capacity to love others more than you love yourself.

5 Feb


So yesterday, we talked about the fact that men invent and produce almost all of the really useful things that make our modern lives so very pleasant. All of the major revolutions in human history have been dreamt up and accomplished by men: the printing press, the textile loom, antibiotics, anaesthetic, cars and computers.


Throughout history, women have contributed very little to the great leaps forward in human achievement.  Oh come on, that’s not even controversial.  Even Caitlin Moran (I can’t help it – she’s so cute!) acknowledges that women really haven’t done a whole lot in terms of building bridges and discovering nuclear fusion. She’s worth quoting at length.


Even the most ardent historian, male or female—citing Amazons and tribal matriarchies and Cleopatra—can’t conceal that women have basically done fuck all for the last 100,000 years. Come on—let’s admit it. Let’s stop exhaustingly pretending that there is a parallel history of women being victorious and creative, on an equal with men, that’s just been comprehensively covered up by The Man. There isn’t. Our empires, armies, cities, artworks, philosophers, philanthropists, inventors, scientists, astronauts, explorers, politicians and icons could all fit, comfortably into one of the private karaoke booths in SingStar. We have no Mozart; no Einstein; no Galileo; no Ghandi. No Beatles, no Churchill, no Hawking, no Columbus. It just didn’t happen.


Nearly everything so far has been the creation of men—and a liberal, right-on denial of it makes everything more awkward and difficult in the long run. Pretending that women have had a pop at all this before but ultimately didn’t do as well as the men, that the experiment of female liberation has already happened but floundered gives strength to the belief that women simply aren’t as good as men, full stop. That things should just carry on as they are—with the world shaped around, and honouring, the priorities, needs, whims, and successes of men. Women are over, without having even begun. When the truth is that we haven’t even begun at all. Of course we haven’t. We’ll know it when we have.

How To Be A Woman

This is where we disagree.  We haven’t begun?  On the contrary.  We began a long time ago.  What we are doing now is failing.  We are sacrificing our genius on the altar of an ideology that explicitly and gleefully denies women the opportunity to achieve our greatest possible success: to be the mother of a person (likely a man) who will take a leap of faith that benefits all of humankind.

This is a human infant:


We have no gender neutral pronoun in English, and I hate “they” and absolutely REFUSE to call a baby “it”, so I’m going to call this baby “him”.  Get over it.

This little baby is born helpless, but his entire anatomy and psychology is a set of expectations.  His skin is alive with receptors that will trigger the release of hormones making him feel safe and content. His skin is an expectation of touch. His brain is wired to detect the smell and sound and presence of his mother. He knows her heartbeat and the sound of her breathing.  His brain is an expectation that he will be with her.  He has reflexes that cause his hands and feet to grip, and he will suck anything you put in his mouth.  His reflexes are an expectation that he will cling to his mother and he will feed from her breasts.


Everything about this little guy demands the presence of his mother.  He will benefit from an extended family and his father will become a person of critical importance, but when he is born, he expects and needs his mother.  He cannot live easily without her.

And he knows it.  He will cry when they are separated.  He will use all of his resources to summon her back.  And she will respond to his cries.  Her breasts will leak milk and her heart will pound and she will feel frantic to get to him.  Her body is also wired to care for him.


Working outside the home and leaving a baby in the care of others for long periods of time (most of an infant’s waking life) is a disaster not just for the baby, but for the woman and all of humanity by extension. Those babies are being denied what they NEED to grow into fully functioning, stable, loving human beings capable of caring for others and themselves. Modern ideas about keeping babies isolated in cages in dark rooms and leaving them to sob until they collapse with despair are not just disgusting and cruel and stupid, they are violently inhumane.  A human infant is not designed to be treated like a pariah, left alone for long periods or separated from his mother.

A baby left alone on the savannah, wailing inconsolably, would be a dead baby very quickly.


Genius begins and ends with a loving mother.  And loving mothers create daughters capable of becoming loving mothers themselves.  That is our genius.

Not every woman wants, or is capable of being a affectionate mother, and natural selection usually weeds those women out quite nicely.  A woman who would rather be out hunting should be free to do that, and whatever quirk in her neurology that makes her uninterested in reproducing will die with her.  Those genes will not spread.  The genes for loving, attentive, invested mothering WILL spread, since those are the women most likely to succeed in bringing their children to adulthood.

And that, too, is genius.

Modern feminism started by explicitly stating that women should not be allowed to care for their own children.


“No woman should be authorized to stay at home to raise her children. Society should be totally different. Women should not have that choice, precisely because if there is such a choice, too many women will make that one. It is a way of forcing women in a certain direction.”

Simone de Beauvoir


What Simone wanted is to FORCE women to give up their own genius, and start competing with men.  Try to match them, Nobel Prize for Nobel Prize.

Well, that worked.  Less than 2% of prizes awarded to women.  Way to go, ladies.

When female genius, defined in male terms, rears up, it has usually found expression and recognition.  One can find women in every area of human achievement, but there are very few of them.  The canon of great writers, for example contains only a few women, because only a few women have matched the talents of male writers.  But when they do, they are acknowledged and celebrated and that’s a good thing.


But for most women, genius comes in the form of a tiny human being who needs to learn to be human, and in being human, achieves greatness that benefits us all.


The hand that rocks the cradle is indeed the hand that rules the world.  Men create the world, and women create the men.  It’s really quite ingenious.


It’s completely amazing how many women are starting to realize that being at home and raising children is a LUXURY, and one that an older generation of women has simply thrown away.  Being at home full time is not drudgery or unfulfiling or stultifying or oppressive.

The times, they are a-changin’

Now let’s hope the younger generation of women realize that the privilege of being at home, supported by a man, comes with a price.  Personally, I think Suzanne Venker nails it:  be nice, cook and have sex.


Yep.  That pretty much sums it up.

Lots of love,


I don’t care how much you like it. Get out of the kitchen, bitch!

23 Jan



New study by some ivory tower eggheads at the University of California, Berkeley!  I know, I know! You’re so excited already!  Researchers have noted that when women have decision-making power at home, they no longer give a rat’s ass about gaining power at work.  It seems that women, especially mothers, are intensely satisfied when they have the power to determine how their homes run, how their children are raised and what the family will be having for dinner.  Some women, get this, DON’T WORK OUTSIDE THE HOME AT ALL!




No seriously.  Apparently, there are adult, grown-up women who find sufficient meaning in caring for their families that they don’t spend one single second of their lives in a cubicle shuffling paper for cold hard cash.




And that right there?  That’s a disaster.  Women who are satisfied by simply caring for their families are a national security threat.  The productivity of the nation is at stake here, people!  There are still men in power!  Men control the upper echelons of management in the workplace, because those stupid women are all “what shall I make for dinner and I hope Henry knows where his ballet shoes are for practice tonight”.  The wage gap?  That’s because women are happy taking care of their families and don’t want to play cut throat at work.


cut throat


Well, we can’t have that.  Men, it’s time to get on those rubber gloves!  It doesn’t matter what makes your wife happy.  That is irrelevant.  You need to drag that women out of the kitchen and send her back to work, no matter how much she protests.  This is about EQUALITY.  Happiness?  That’s for oppressed victims of the patriarchy.


This is Caitlin Moran.  Shut up!  She’s cute!




Caitlin wrote a book called “How to Be a Woman”, and in it, she asks “what part of feminism is not for you?”.  And I don’t think she was joking.  Actually, I’m pretty sure she wasn’t.


Allow me to answer that question:  THIS, Caitlin.  This part of feminism is not for me.  The part that says I have no CHOICE but to measure my value in terms of money. That my happiness does NOT MATTER.  And it’s not a new idea.  The grandmother of modern feminism, Simone de Beauvoir said essentially the same thing:




“No woman should be authorized to stay at home and raise her children. Society should be totally different. Women should not have that choice, precisely because if there is such a choice, too many women will make that one.”

“A parasite sucking out the living strength of another organism…the [housewife’s] labor does not even tend toward the creation of anything durable…. [W]oman’s work within the home [is] not directly useful to society, produces nothing. [The housewife] is subordinate, secondary, parasitic. It is for their common welfare that the situation must be altered by prohibiting marriage as a ‘career’ for woman.” – “Sex, Society, and the Female Dilemma,” Saturday Review, June 14, 1975.





This version of feminism explicitly acknowledges that women WANT to be at home, raising the children she has with a MAN (children do not belong to women, Simone), and sets forth an agenda to deny women what they want.  Let’s give women no CHOICE in this matter, because ….


Why again?  Oh yeah.  The childless, unmarried spinster who chased her lover (who refused to marry her) around the planet and died alone DOESN’T LIKE IT.  Well, pardon me, Simone, but I don’t give a fuck what you like.


fuck you


It wasn’t always like that.  The women who led the early suffrage movements were all maternal feminists.  They wanted women to have the vote because as the mothers of the nation, they had a vested interest in how that nation was run.




A woman’s place is in the home; and out of it whenever she is called to guard those she loves and to improve conditions for them – Nellie McClung, Canadian feminist (1915)


The maternal feminists saw no conflict between women’s WORK in the home and a role in public life.  “They saw their maternal responsibility for children as the motivating force behind their reforming zeal. Motherhood became more than a biological, but a social function, which, if re-invigorated, could serve as a buttress against destabilizing social forces.”






So what happened?  Well, spoiled, pampered little middle class housewife Betty Freidan decided she was “oppressed” by her life of epic drudgery.  She had a “problem with no name”.  Then along came the single, carefree ladies like Gloria and Germaine and Helen Gurley Brown to proclaim that shit you can buy is way more important than children will ever be.  Of course, Gloria married, Germaine spent a fortune trying to have a baby long after the horse had left the barn and Helen, well, Helen can claim the triumph of convincing an entire generation of women that slutting it up was a meaningful way to live.




Thanks, ladies!


I’ve been a housewife, oh sorry, parasite, for over ten years now, and I am so sick of hearing about how my life is invalid and stupid and worthless.  I have the qualifications to earn $100 000/year. Being at home has cost my family more than a million dollars in unearned income.


One. Million. Dollars.


You know what that means?  Absolutely nothing.  What is the value of a happy family? What price can you put on a life filled with daily joy?  How much are happy, stable, well-adjusted children worth?




I’m the CEO of my own life.  The architect of my own happiness.  The master of my fate.  The captain of my soul.  And that’s not because some progressive social movement came along and made it all possible.  Quite the opposite. I shouldn’t have that control and power over my own life at all, according to the lovely ladies of Second Wave Feminism.


The truth is I have the choice to forgo slogging it out in the “real world” because I have a man who gives me that choice.  My life rests on a foundation that he has laid.  Together, we have it all.






There is no promotion in the world that could possibly mean more than that.  Turns out that most women feel just the same.  But they have been lied to, grievously.  Feminism peddles a story that being fulfilled by caring for others (unless done for cash) is a problem that needs to be fixed.  Older women have lied to younger women, and encouraged them to make the kinds of choices in life that ironically, give you no choices at all.  Go to college, borrow money, acquire skills, get a job, start repaying that debt, be single, be a slut, and if you DO have a husband and children, don’t ever make them a priority, even if that’s what you want most in life.


Get out of the kitchen, ladies.  Leave those children alone.  There are promotions and power to be had at work, and that is the only thing that matters.


Except that it’s not.  It never has been. What women need is NOT more money and more ambition and more power.  We need to build a world in which women DO have the choice to be at home. We need a society that RESPECTS and HONORS what makes women happy.   And we need a cultural change that teaches women that being at home, raising children and caring for a family is a wonderful way to live.  But it’s not free.


We’ll deal with that tomorrow.  For now, a shout out to the ladies who are happy being CEO at home. Forget about that corner office.  Leave it to the guy with a wife and kids at home.  And cut out early today.  You need to find those ballet shoes!




Lots of love,










Shit, I’m doing this wrong!

7 Jan

Katie Baker, writing at Jezebel has noted something interesting about interns who work for no pay: they’re the new housewives of the corporate world!  Neat!


And by housewife, of course she means “highly motivated, dedicated, autonomous, self-directed, multi-tasking and with a skill set of astonishing range and flexibility”.

Oh wait.  No she doesn’t.  By housewife, she means “compliant, silent, submissive and obedient”.


I had to run that one by Mr. JB.  His response?  “Shit honey, you’re doing it wrong”. 

I’ll say.

Leaving aside, for the moment, the issue of unpaid internships, what is up with all this housewife hate at Jezebel?  Could it be that the Shrews of Gawker media have sensed a change in the air?  Check out this comment from Hannali:

Just wanna point out that all of the housewives I know are strong, intelligent, competent women. I’m not sure where this myth came from that all housewives are doormats. Quite frankly, it’s a lie. Are there men that abuse their stay-at-home wives? Yes, but that doesn’t mean that all stay-at-home wives are abused. This stereotype has been around for far too long. I am eighteen years old, in college, with my own job, and yet my dream job is still to be a stay-at-home mom. Nothing would make me happier than to love, to nurture, and to make a home for my family. It makes me sad that society trashes the concept.

Young women like Hannali must scare the bejeebus out of an older generation of feminists.  Yesterday we had Sabrina saying “fuck off slut culture” and today we have Hannali, whose ambition in life is to love and make a home for her family.


The pendulum swings back, as it always does. Let’s do an attitude check, shall we?  What did British men and women say they valued most in a spouse?


Oh my!  Ladies doing housework and men earning money?  Alert the presses!  According to Forbes Magazine, opting out is the new dream for American mothers, too.  According to the annual Forbes survey of working mothers, “ 84% of working women say that staying home to raise children is a financial luxury they aspire to”.



I wonder if that 84% knows that once they become housewives, they will also have to be silent, submissive and obedient?

It’s interesting, isn’t it, that Jezebel likes to portray housewives as some horrifying caricature of femininity stuck halfway between a character out of Les Miserables and an antebellum slave.  When 84% of women surveyed by Forbes ASPIRE to be housewives, where can this caricature come from?

I think Simone de Beauvoir said it best:  “No woman should be authorized to stay at home to raise her children. Society should be totally different. Women should not have that choice, precisely because if there is such a choice, too many women will make that one.”

Now, who is it again that wants women to be silent, submissive and obedient?  Was it the patriarchy, which understood that women do not like to be parted from their children and created a society that kept families together as a functioning unit, or feminism, that also understands women do not like to be parted from their children BUT DOESN’T GIVE A FUCK WHAT WOMEN WANT?

Shut up, sit down and take it.  Yeah?

fuck you

Well fuck you Simone de Beauvoir and fuck you feminism.  Also, fuck you unpaid interns. Get a degree in something that actually gives you some skills and hey guess what?  People will PAY YOU MONEY.


And Hannali, if you’re gonna keep reading trash like Jezebel, I hope you even it out with some JudgyBitch.

nolite te bastardes carborundorum

Don’t let the bitches grind you down.


Lots of love,


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