Fat, ugly, white bitches will decide what is funny and the rest of y’all can fuck off

13 May

Trigger warning:  multiple images of Lindy West

I apologize in advance for the bulkiness of this post today but Lindy’s rambles are as big and lumpy as her ass.

fat ass

HEY! THAT’S NOT FUNNY YOU FAT-PHOBIC ASSHOLE!

As we go through this post, I will provide you with some guidance as to what is and is not funny.

When you see this, it’s funny.  Lindy West.  God she’s so hot, no?

download

When you see this, it’s not.  Ok, maybe not all that hot after all.

not funny

Try to keep them straight, ok?  As always, Lindy in italics.  I will be editing some of this, because it’s just so much lard.  Gotta trim away the fat to get to the meat, if you know what I mean.

Oops.  Off to a bad start, already.

An Open Letter to White Male Comedians

Hey, wait a second!  Why do all the Hispanic and Asian and Black and Indian comedians who are sexist assholes get a pass?

tracy

‘Get yo’ ass in the fucking kitchen’

http://collectiveshout.org/2013/04/protests-against-tracy-morgans-misogynist-comedy-show/

Hmm. Maybe Lindy actually believes the joke about black men liking big fat white bitches?  Chris Rock has some thoughts on that little slice of fat white bitch fantasy. Lindy should probably stick to slices of cake.  She appears familiar with them.

fat woman black

Hey guys*: Listen, I know you’re mad at me. I mean, maybe not me specifically, but a figurative “me”—the type of woman who thinks she’s funny, who thinks she understands comedy, who has opinions (and shares them) about what kinds of jokes comics “should” or “should not” tell.

So your understanding of comedy begins with the idea that you have the right to determine what kind of jokes should and should not be told.

Excellent grasp of the form, Lindy.  Your understanding of comedy is just fucking outstanding!

“Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the world upside down.”  George Carlin

“The truth is funny. Honest discovery, observation, and reaction is better than contrived invention.” Del Close

“Comedy rules! Don`t let anybody tell you otherwise, and there are no rules in stand-up comedy, which I really like. You can do anything you want and you can say anything that comes to mind, just so long as it`s funny. If you ain`t funny then get the fuck off the stage, it`s that simple.” Richard Pryor

You know how you know if something is funny?

People laugh.  YOU may not, but that’s you.  And honestly, fuck you. I will laugh at whatever I damn well please.

I speak up for women, which sometimes involves criticizing men. I don’t believe that “rape jokes” should be a completely unregulated market. And I understand that, to you, criticizing a comedian’s execution on certain subject matters can seem indistinguishable from censorship and conservatism. So I know you’re mad at me and I know why.

Hey, you know what?  Criticize all you want.  Who gives a shit what you think anyways?

give a shit

The real concern here is what do you want to DO about all those jokes you don’t like.

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  Q: What do men and tile floors have in common?

 

    A: If you lay them well, you can walk on them for years.

not funny

woman floor

But comedy has a serious gender problem, and I really can’t stop complaining about it until it’s fucking fixed. Comedy clubs are an overtly hostile space for women. Even just presuming we can talk about comedy gets women ripped to shreds by territorial dudes desperate to defend their authority over what’s funny. “Jokes” about rape and gendered violence are treated like an inevitability instead of a choice; like they’re beyond questioning; like they’re somehow equally sacred alongside women’s actual humanity and physical sanctity. When women complain, however civilly, they’re met with condescension, dismissal, and the tacit (or, often, explicit) message that this is not yours, you are not welcome here. It’s fucked up, you guys. And I’m saying that as a friend with the best intentions.

It’s fucked up, is it? You can’t stop complaining about it until it’s fixed?  And what will that “fix” look like?

And I want to try and convey to you, broadly, how you are hurting women and hurting your own art form, and how easy it would be to stop. Because right now you’re coming across like a bunch of entitled babies terrified of a few girls in your clubhouse—demanding that women be thick-skinned about their own rapes while you’re too thin-skinned to handle even mild criticism. It’s embarrassing.

It would be so easy to stop telling the jokes Lindy doesn’t like, so just do it, you entitled babies.  Lindy want those jokes gone, dammit!

And how is this not censorship, Lindy?  You want to silence all the people who tell jokes you don’t find funny.

But you’re not censoring anyone.

Do you know what censorship means, retard?

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Q:  Why do Black Widow spiders kill their males after mating?

A:  Because they know that men are only good for one thing.

not funny

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, “If I’m going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman.” She removes all her clothing and asks, “Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?” A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, “Here, iron this!”.

emoji

Well, I thought it was funny.

Listen. Being a woman is a bitch. Not only does everyone treat you like a fucking idiot all of the time, being a woman can be scary! Not scary in a big, obvious, goofy way—it’s less like a horrible slavering dog running toward your face (except for when it is like that) and more like when you can’t find that huge spider you saw on your bed earlier (if spiders also had the capacity to transform into slavering face-hungry dogs). We’re not walking around actively terrified in the middle of the afternoon, but there’s always a small awareness that we are vulnerable simply because we are women. Cavalier jokes about domestic violence and rape (jokes that target victims, not perpetrators) feed that aura of feeling unsafe and unwelcome—not just in the comedy club, but in the world.

Honey, people treat YOU like an idiot all the time, probably because you are.  And your constant fear of being raped is perhaps the result of reading way too many rapey romance novels combined with the complete and utter lack of actual appeal you have for most men.

Rape is probably the only sex you’re gonna get on an average day, amirite?

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rape joke 1

not funny

gang rape

Women are 50% of the population, but when it comes to our interests and grievances we’re treated like a niche group. Think about how crazy that is. You don’t know what it feels like to be a part of the group that has never gotten to be the president. You don’t know what it feels like to get up to do your set and hear, “Here’s your obligatory girl comic for the night.” You might not relate to any of that, but you can perceive why it’s bad, right? How it puts damaging limits on women’s lives?

Oh for fuck’s sake.  Know why there aren’t a whole lot of women in politics, never mind a President?

Most of them DON’T WANT TO BE THERE.  They don’t run for office.  It’s just so darn difficult to get elected when you’re not even in the race.  Which part of that do you NOT understand?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/01/political-ambition-gap-study-girls-just-wanna-not-run_n_2994861.html

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Q: What’s the fastest way to a man’s heart?

A: Through his chest with a sharp knife

not funny

hit women

That’s hard to live with, but it’s especially hard—as a comedy fan and a woman who writes jokes for a living—to watch that paradigm being perpetuated by people I look up to as bastions of sanity on pretty much every other social issue. It sucks to hear your heroes telling you to sit down and know your place. Molly Knefel has an impeccable piece in Salon today about the disparity between male comics’ reactions to rape and their reactions to other types of violence:

As eloquent as Oswalt’s message about Boston was, it is not particularly challenging to side with the victims of a horrible act of violence committed against civilians. Americans are united in their desire to condemn such atrocities. Many comedians, including Oswalt, also condemned the Aurora theater shooting and made an explicit point not to joke about it. None of this is to compare these different types of violence, but to offer an observation on the types of violence that are universally condemned as opposed to culturally sanctioned.

 

Knefel, of course, is currently being lambasted by aggrieved male comedians. So aggrieved, you guys! Always so aggrieved! But why? What did she really say that’s so outrageous? That the oft-silenced victims of sexual assault and domestic violence (which includes men and boys, by the way) deserve as much respect and care as the victims of gun violence? If basic compassion is such anathema to you, but only when it comes to “women’s issues”—if you’re determined to go down with the Good Ship Rape—then you have issues with women. And that’s not women’s fault—it’s yours.

Comedians don’t make jokes about terrorism or mass murder or make the victims the butt of the jokes?

Are you kidding?

911

“It’s a bird!”

“It’s a plane!”

“It’s…. Oh shit, it IS a plane!”

http://slay.me/category/funny-jokes/terrorist-jokes

There’s more here.  Lot’s more. Do I think they’re all hysterically funny?  Nope.  Not a chance.  But I don’t think the jokesters need to STFU, either. I figure whatever I don’t personally find funny, I can get over.

download

harriet

not funny

seatbelts

If you just don’t care, that’s fine—that’s your choice—but understand this: I know you think you’re being transgressive and edgy and bad-in-the-cool-way when you are careless with the trauma of strangers, but you’re not. You are being conservative. You are a conservative comedian. You are moving your art form backwards, you are a bully (a bully who has likely experienced bullying himself, which is the worst kind), and you are propping up the status quo in the most boring way possible. If that’s what you want, at least have the grace to own it.

So moving an art form in a direction you consider backwards is bullying, but censorship is not?

Gotcha!

Also, conservative is not a synonym for backwards, you idiot.  Here are some synonyms for conservative: traditional, cautious, moderate, conventional, sober, stable, steady.  Yes, I understand you want to push your agenda ahead as far and as fast as you can and these voices that speak to some uncomfortable truths you don’t like piss you off, but honey, I don’t give a shit.

lindy

better

not funny

stripper

Now. You can talk about controversial subjects—in fact, you should talk about controversial subjects, because comedy is an incredibly powerful subversive tool—but if you want people like me to stop bitching at you (a dream we share, I promise!), you need to stop using your comedy to make those things worse. You don’t have to make things better—you are under no obligation to save the world—but if you are actively making things worse for people, especially when you are not a member of the group whose existence you are worsening, don’t be surprised when people complain.

Who said anything about wanting you to stop bitching (finally, a word you know how to use!)?  Who gives a righteous fuck what you think?  You are free to bitch and moan and makes jokes at the expense of men all you like.  Giver ‘er….

moon

I think you’re a cunt.  So what?  You laugh at what you like, and I’ll laugh at shit I think is funny.

vacuum

If you’re an able-bodied straight white male, you are by definition a member of the least number of systemically oppressed groups. It takes an entire blog post for me to make you feel diminished and misunderstood (my bad)—but you could do that to me or a gay person or a trans person or a person of color or a disabled person with just a word. Because you get to live your life on the firm ground of being a human being first and a man/white person/comedian second. I don’t get to do that. I’m not a person, I’m a woman, which is something I’m reminded of incessantly any time I enter a male-dominated space like a comedy club.

The least number of systematically oppressed groups…. what does that even mean?

Well, we’re gonna have to give chickie some honesty cookies here (try not to eat them all in one go).

IMG_5821

The point of Lindy’s  blog post is to make white male comedians feel diminished and misunderstood.  And then she goes on to straight up admit that she thinks men are humans and women are not. And note that it’s not men who are saying this, she is.  “I’m not a person”.  I’m a fragile little (ahem) whisper who can be reduced to a sniveling mass of goo with ONE SINGLE WORD.

Wait! If she’s not a person, can we still abort her?  That would be kind of awesome.

I wonder what the word is?  The one word that can reduce Lindy to a diminished and misunderstood victim crushed by the cruel, cruel world?

things get tough

Okay, so you can be “diminished” by one word, and obviously you are speaking in a figurative sense.  Physically, it will take some diet and exercise to diminish you.  And obviously, fuck that.  You have a thyroid problem.  It has it’s own fork, apparently.

stomach

And the solution for your feelings of “diminishment” is for the entire world of comedy to change to accommodate your precious feelings?

Your grasp of reality is really quite breathtaking.  Yes.  This is exactly how the world works.  Butthurt feminist fat chicks should get to decide what is funny.  Because feminism is such a riot.

funeral-director-joke

education

oppressing

Okay, I had to cut a crap ton of the rest.  You can click through if you really want to know all her arguments for why men should just shut the fuck up about shit they think is funny.

http://jezebel.com/an-open-letter-to-white-male-comedians-497503334

Suffice to say men need to shut the hell up, and then in the next breath…..

Please. You are not being silenced. There is no “thought police.” Your freedom of speech is firmly intact. You are a member of the single most powerful political bloc on earth. Your voices and your perspectives saturate nearly all media. You are fine. We are just having a conversation about your art, and your art is what you care about the most, right? Right?

And the conversation involves men shutting the hell up.  Remember that she has opinions on what jokes should and shouldn’t be told. And she won’t stop bitching until the situation is fixed and the jokes she thinks shouldn’t be told are gone.

But there’s no silencing involved in that.

Nope.

None.

I know I just wrote 8 trillion fucking words  (2940, but math is hard, Barbie) about it, but really, this whole mess is simple. You get to choose what kind of a person you want to be. Do you want to cause pain or release tension? Do you want to be careful or careless? Do you want to confront hard things or take easy outs? Do you want to connect with other human beings about the shared horrors of the world or do you want to feed into a culture that perpetuates those horrors? You can do whatever you want, but you can’t stop me and everyone else who hears you from telling you when you’re full of shit. Comedy isn’t yours. It’s ours.

You get to choose what kind of a person comedian you want to be.

There.  Fixed that for you.

Do you want to cause pain or release tension?

Laughter can do both those things at once.

Do you want to be careful or careless?

Oh comedy is always careful.

Dying is easy.  Comedy is hard.

gwenn

Do you want to confront hard things or take easy outs?

If you want to be a great comedian, there are no easy outs.  You must speak, even when no one wants to hear your words.  And you damn well better be funny.

Do you want to connect with other human beings about the shared horrors of the world or do you want to feed into a culture that perpetuates those horrors?

One of the ways we connect is through laughter.  Silence is probably one of the best ways to perpetuate horror.

Some people might think this is funny:

no

Others will laugh at this:

chill

It will largely depend on the audience.  Now, the reason you may find it so difficult to navigate the world of comedy Lindy, is because, oh, oops.  You don’t have an audience.  Most people think you suck.  The solution is not to gag everyone you disagree with.

Try being funny.

I hear it’s a key part of the whole comedy gig.

cant take

Lots of love,

JB

47 Responses to “Fat, ugly, white bitches will decide what is funny and the rest of y’all can fuck off”

  1. fr0xxy May 13, 2013 at 02:18 #

    My husband always says “either everything is funny, or nothing’s funny.” He himself is pretty funny, but I’ll admit sometimes I think his jokes are… off-color. (he made a joke about Boston literally the day it happened. I told him it probably offended a lot of people and his response was “I don’t give a fuck, I thought it was funny. The perils of being with a man who doesn’t care what anyone thinks.)

    But I tend to agree with him. In comedy, nothing can be off limits.

    Like

  2. Alex May 13, 2013 at 02:22 #

    i don’t laugh at the one of the woman telling the man to make her a sandwich, yet i laugh at the one underneath it… bit of a quandary there. and here entire bitch-vent can pretty much be described as why women face so much hostility in male-dominated areas in addition to the terraform attempt of almost fucking everything that can be described as man-related. the jokes she doesn’t like also tend to be in video games even if they aren’t obvious, so she and anita can take their butthurt and use it as double-ended dildos and go fuck themselves. (this is why people like me don’t get be featured in movements)

    Like

  3. Alex May 13, 2013 at 02:23 #

    i’m starting to think not caring is a defense mechanism for men

    Like

  4. gwallan May 13, 2013 at 02:48 #

    Does this mean Lindy West has now actually created something funny?

    Like

  5. Keanu May 13, 2013 at 02:57 #

    I need a fucking drink after reading through all of those Lindy West quotations. Following her logic is like trying to read a mediocre high school essay.

    Like

  6. Jason May 13, 2013 at 02:58 #

    Ummm, wouldn’t “conservative comedians” be the ones she would WANT to promote? The ones who don’t push boundaries or tell ” offensive” jokes. So not only is she an idiot, she just trashed the side of comedy that doesn’t even do what she’s whining about.

    Comedy is likely the last pure bastion of free ” liberal” speech. The place where you can say anything you want and as long as one person finds it funny, it’s ok.

    Like

  7. Paul Murray May 13, 2013 at 03:34 #

    And underneath it all – the reason she is so butthurt about men liking male comedians better than female ones is that she herself values males more than females. Underneath the snarking about the “No Girls Allowed” clubhouse is that she really, really, really wants to be let into the clubhouse, in fact.
    There’s not a sliver of comprehension that maybe boys should be allowed to have a no girls clubhouse, if they want.

    Like

  8. Ter May 13, 2013 at 04:24 #

    Re “You don’t know what it feels like to be a part of the group that has never gotten to be the president.”

    OK, who’s turn is it this time?
    FYI, I haven’t been president yet either, dammit!

    Like

  9. FuzzieWuzzie May 13, 2013 at 04:29 #

    Somebody has to say it as it links to your last post concerning her:

    Lindy West is full of BEANS!

    Like

  10. sqt May 13, 2013 at 05:59 #

    So does Lindy get all pissy when Bill Maher or Louis C.K. make rape jokes about Sarah Palin? Or when Sandra Bernhard wishes out loud that Palin is gang raped by a bunch of black men? (Something both incredibly racist and sexist.) I’m just curious if her feminist outrage extends to all women– because I seriously doubt it does.

    Like

  11. reyeko May 13, 2013 at 06:38 #

    I’m Canadian, no Canadian has ever been president. Does that make me oppressed? I am confuse

    Like

  12. Nicky May 13, 2013 at 06:46 #

    Yeah – that one got to me too. Hey, does that make me more oppressed than her? After all, I’m not American – and EVERY president has been American, so clearly SHE doesn’t get to be part of that particular group of people who’ve never been president. In fact, I’m part of a group that isn’t even ALLOWED to be president. Ooooh I’m so discriminated against!

    Yeah – if you think of yourself as a woman first and a person second (or not at all?), well that’s YOUR PROBLEM. Normally, people notice that you are a human being before noticing your gender, skin colour or body size. I’m not gonna see a cartoon character and think – oh look, it’s female, it’s black and it’s also a dog/human/alien. You see the species first. Unless, maybe, you are totally and utterly prejudiced and think your gender is more relevant than your species. So – does LIndy identify more strongly with a female animal than a human male?

    In other news – the gang rape pie chart made me snort my coffee out. That’s clever and funny and thought-provoking. Humour at it’s best. (See, Lindy, jokes that touch on hard subjects – like rape, terrorism, etc actually HELP people to process their feelings and thoughts about them. They make the horror more bareable, and thus allow us to conisder the issues instead of burying our heads in the sand and pretending they don’t exist.)

    Like

  13. lancelot May 13, 2013 at 07:24 #

    Feminism in a nutshell: some fat girl begging men to have pity on her because she’s eternally powerless and marginalized.

    Like

  14. GrimGhost May 13, 2013 at 09:57 #

    What’s a feminist’s response to the t-shirt that says “Boys are stupid. Throw rocks at them”?

    Their response is “Men have no sense of humor. They need to loosen up.”

    Anti-male humor? Permitted. Anti-female humor? Quote, “We’re just having a conversation,” unquote.

    This joke will get Lindy’s hands on her ample hips–

    Q: What five words strike terror into men who are Special Forces soldiers, bomb-disposal technicians, and tornado chasers?

    A: “Honey, we need to talk.”

    Like

  15. Ter May 13, 2013 at 10:03 #

    You’re not American? Well, that’s just not right!
    Wait, neither am I! Actually, if Lindy is going to bring ‘entitlement’ into who gets to be President, then I’d like to see a Native American next in line.
    Oh, that pie chart, I felt so conflicted for chuckling.

    Like

  16. judgybitch May 13, 2013 at 10:11 #

    That pie chart is fucking terrible.

    But it still makes me laugh.

    I believe you can joke about anything.
    It all depends on how you construct the joke. What the exaggeration is. What the exaggeration is.
    Because every joke needs one exaggeration. Every joke needs one thing to be way out of proportion.

    George Carlin

    His rape jokes are hilarious. The man was a mastercraftsman.

    http://artists.letssingit.com/george-carlin-lyrics-rape-can-be-funny-7j9zp7k#axzz2T6YjW481

    Like

  17. GrimGhost May 13, 2013 at 10:20 #

    Actually, Lindy is a fat cunt telling white male comedians that they’re wrong to point out that she’s fat and a cunt.

    Correction: she’s not a cunt, she’s “testosteronophilically challenged.”

    Like

  18. Alex May 13, 2013 at 10:45 #

    Try being atheist. The only way one of us is getting presidency is if NASA stages a coup

    Like

  19. Liz May 13, 2013 at 13:06 #

    Lol!
    Or, “I want to discuss our relationship…”

    Like

  20. Liz May 13, 2013 at 13:07 #

    What do a pair of lesbians do on the first date?
    Answer: Move in together.

    Like

  21. danny May 13, 2013 at 14:30 #

    Poor Lindy, must be such a bitch to have such hate and self esteem issues. Maybe Lindy you should put down the M&M bag and find yourself a treamill. Now spend your time on the treadmill instead of picking apart everything on planet Earth that offends your delicate self. At some point maybe, just maybe, you might eventually work enough to where you don’t look like something between Sy Snoodles from Star Wars and that giant ass with eyeballs from Bill and Teds bogus journey.

    Like

  22. Nergal May 13, 2013 at 14:46 #

    “Ok, maybe not all that hot after all.”

    Fuck no. With the dress it looks like a moose fighting to get out of a flour sack.

    “I know I just wrote 8 trillion fucking words (2940, but math is hard, Barbie) about it, but really, this whole mess is simple. You get to choose what kind of a person you want to be. Do you want to cause pain or release tension? Do you want to be careful or careless? Do you want to confront hard things or take easy outs? Do you want to connect with other human beings about the shared horrors of the world or do you want to feed into a culture that perpetuates those horrors?”

    Do I want to walk around on eggshells all the time, terrified of offending the princesses who will follow their calls for censorship with governmental intervention and real legal penalties for free speech? No. We’ve tried that already and I don’t much care for the results. Go fuck yourself.

    “You can do whatever you want, but you can’t stop me and everyone else who hears you from telling you when you’re full of shit. Comedy isn’t yours. It’s ours.”

    No,I’m pretty sure it’s ours. I don’t remember hearing about any female court jesters back when you could get your head lopped off for not making the king laugh. Just based on all the selective pressures we’ve faced, I believe comedy is “in the blood” for a lot more men than women. It’s ours by virtue of the fact that it is expressed in OUR genetics. Comedy is biologically the provenance of the man.

    I’m not saying there aren’t women who can do it,the ones who can tell jokes do it WELL,but for every woman,there’s 10 men who can do it to a greater or lesser degree.

    Like

  23. princesspixiepointless May 13, 2013 at 14:55 #

    A mate of mine started doing stand-up about 3 years ago. I’m a supportive friend,
    so i have sat in a lot of shows, (amateur, open mic, to soho comedy club etc). Now there
    are not a lot of female comics out there. The worst thing we found out is, that the woman
    that are doing stand up, suck. Almost everyone woman we saw we would cringe, because it was all about
    fucking vaginas or finding a husband or boyfriend or a fuck or dick size. Sure fucking is funny, so are
    dicks, but that was it. No commentary on the world. Just dicks, vaginas and partnering up.
    There were a few exceptions, but overall, made me fucking
    cringe. My friend does a great pieces about fear of death etc.

    Like

  24. Sherlock May 13, 2013 at 15:14 #

    Her writing is horrible.

    Like

  25. Bobby May 13, 2013 at 18:13 #

    This is a man that Lindy West, and most feminists, would hate.

    Like

  26. froxxy May 13, 2013 at 18:38 #

    That man is hilarious. I love it.

    Like

  27. GrimGhost May 13, 2013 at 20:55 #

    The great value of having comedians in a society as that they–and sometimes only they–can speak truth to power. But to do that, they must be free to say anything, and say it any way they choose. That means they must be free to offend; if restricted from offending, a comedian is silenced from talking about politics, sex, or religion.

    But hey, an INoffensive comedian can still get gigs at children’s birthday parties. That’s not so bad.

    Like

  28. scatmaster May 14, 2013 at 01:45 #

    They hate Bill Burr as well.

    Like

  29. Days of Broken Arrows May 14, 2013 at 02:03 #

    “I think his jokes are… off-color.”

    OMG!!!! THAT’S RACIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Like

  30. judgybitch May 14, 2013 at 02:05 #

    🙂

    🙂

    🙂

    Like

  31. Europa Phoenix May 14, 2013 at 07:45 #

    “If you’re an able-bodied straight white male” : that’s very very funny! I love this kind of crazy newspeak: Cis-gendered ; hearing impaired; Little People (dwarves) ; coloured person ; etc. I LOVE these words. I can’t help laughing when I read them.

    By the way, I don’t understand this “white male” obsession in America. Whenever I read a Feminist person (lol), it seems that the USA is a modern version of Nazi Germany. I thought that the true and only source of power there is money, not race… she has money, ergo she belongs to the “privileged” club… but I’m just a little French Frog, I can’t understand.
    Is there anybody who can explain this to me? I feel oppressed here, I’m Englishly disabled! lol

    Like

  32. Luke May 14, 2013 at 15:32 #

    LizMay 13, 2013 at 13:07

    “What do a pair of lesbians do on the first date?
    Answer: Move in together.”

    No, no, Liz, that’s not how it goes.

    “What does a lesbian bring to a second date?
    A U-Haul.”

    More lesbian jokes I find amusing:

    What do lesbians get instead of marriage licences (in America, as opposed to Massachussetts)?
    A liquor (lick-her) license.

    Why is lesbian so violent and so unresolvable?
    There’s no man to lay all the blame on.

    What do you have when you have 50 lesbians and 50 post office workers?
    100 people who don’t do dick.

    What does Hillary Clinton say when she gets pissed off?
    “Oh, suck my d**k!”

    Like

  33. Luke May 14, 2013 at 15:32 #

    Argh. That’s “Why is lesbian DOMESTIC VIOLENCE so violent and so unresolvable?
    There’s no man to lay all the blame on.

    Like

  34. LostSailor May 14, 2013 at 21:12 #

    You know, a Muslim Iranian hasn’t been President yet, Let’s elect an Ayatollah! Does that mean that all African-Americans are suddenly no longer oppressed? These rules changes confuse me…

    Like

  35. LostSailor May 14, 2013 at 21:17 #

    But comedy has a serious gender problem, and I really can’t stop complaining about it until it’s fucking fixed.

    I doubt it’s going to be fixed by a humorless shrew.

    like they’re somehow equally sacred alongside women’s…physical sanctity.

    Interesting word choice there. I’ve been seeing this invoked more and more. A woman’s physicality is sacred. Is sanctified. Is Holy. Is Godly, which I find amusing since most are not believers. Instead, this is a subtle indicator that they believe feminism to be nearly religious and women actually holy.

    I know you think you’re being transgressive and edgy…but you’re not. You are being conservative.

    Ooh. Snap! That must be the worst insult she can come up with. Saying they are not funny would have probably cut them to the quick.

    I don’t get to do that. I’m not a person, I’m a woman

    Jumpin’ Jebus on a pogo stick. As far as I recall, prior to feminism, women were still considered actual human persons. It’s taken feminism to make them not human? Well that’s progressive advancement for you! Perhaps we should inquire of Lindy that if she’s not human, exactly what species is she?

    That’s a lot of word to basically say “My life is scary and hard, so please white men, please fix it for me! Pleeese? I’ll stop bitching, honest! Pretty pleeeese?” I could almost see her steaming tears staining the pixels…

    So behold what feminism hath wrought: women are now apparently a separate, yet sacred, non-human species that has to whine and beg men to fix their lives.

    You can’t make this shit up.

    Like

  36. LostSailor May 14, 2013 at 21:18 #

    Q: How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb

    A: That’s not funny.

    Like

  37. JoylessSolution May 15, 2013 at 02:40 #

    This all reminds me of a joke,

    How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? 12.
    one to screw it in,
    one to excoriate men for creating the need for illumination,
    one to blame men for a faulty means of illumination,
    one to suggest the whole “screwing” thing as a bit too “rape-like”,
    one to deconstruct the lightbulb itself as being phallic,
    one to blame men for not changing the lightbulb,
    one to blame men for trying to change the lightbulb instead of letting women do it,
    one to blame men for creating a society that discourages women from changing lightbulbs,
    one to blame men for creating a society where women change too many lightbulbs,
    one to advocate that lightbulb changers should have wage parity with electricians,
    one to alert the media that women are now “out-lightbulbing” men,
    one to just sit there taking pictures for her blog for photo-evidence that men are unnecessary.

    Like

  38. anticonventionalist May 15, 2013 at 12:57 #

    Comedy does have a female problem.

    The problem is that the majority of female comics suck.

    Like

  39. Alex May 15, 2013 at 13:40 #

    It’s so annoying when people say they’re criticizing,not censoring, proceed to censor, and still try to play it of like it’s constructive criticism

    Like

  40. Tytalus May 17, 2013 at 17:02 #

    If you want a totally different perspective, try reading this link:

    http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?688450-A-female-comedian-s-quot-Open-Letter-to-White-Male-Comedians-quot

    Like

  41. Tom June 2, 2013 at 21:25 #

    I live in Seattle, where somehow the always mediocre Ms. West became a supastah. The level of writing and intellectual discourse in Seattle is as low as you’ll find anywhere, but it’s much more self satisfied. The worst. Her “work” in The Stranger (a free weekly of movie times, sex ads and filler) is just terrible.

    Sadly, her constant presence on Twitter and her dumbass celebrity followers and retweeters have raised awareness of this dope, making her a liberal Rush Limbaugh.

    Like

  42. mikeinauckland February 23, 2014 at 01:42 #

    On this one.. I think a lotta guys’ “sheepdog” instincts get triggered.
    Its pretty fcuked up to make jokes about someone being the victim of a violent, heartbreaking crime.
    Theres stuff we dont joke about, and this should be among that catehory.

    Like

  43. Ndoki June 6, 2014 at 21:18 #

    I know I’m reiterating some things already covered in the article, but I’m typing it up here to copy over to her “open letter” later, even though it’ll probably be instantly deleted/buried/downvoted.

    Wow, where to begin…

    “An open letter to white male comedians”
    Why is it only white males can be blasted for telling offensive jokes? If a black man, or a white woman tells them it’s okay?

    That’s discriminatory.

    “You don’t know what it feels like to be a part of the group that has never gotten to be the president”

    Neither do you, since lots of women have been president: http://www.guide2womenleaders.com/Presidents.htm

    It took me a single google search to find it. It was the second link to come up. There are dozens of women who were presidents, and many of them are currently still the president of their country.

    Unless you only think the U.S. presidency counts.

    That’s discriminatory.

    “If you’re an able-bodied straight white male, you are by definition a member of the least number of systemically oppressed groups.”

    Oh really? What about the highest death toll genocide in recorded history? I’m of course referring to the holocaust which was direct at able-bodied white Jews, the majority of which were straight, and male.

    Unless you think the death of 4-17 million Jews don’t count.

    That’s discriminatory.

    That’s also three strikes, so you’re out.

    … and that was just looking at some of the “facts”. I never even got to the good stuff.

    Like

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