All right maggots, listen up! For today’s post, I want your cockholsters shut and your dickskinners at your side! I am sick of this gaggle-fuck, you slimy twinkletoed little cock-suckers. You had better sound off that you love the Virgin Mary before I rip off your heads and take a giant shit down your neck!!
Oh, let’s watch the whole thing!
Now get the fuck out of here, you unorganized grabastic pieces of amphibian shit!
Goodness, that was exhausting! The language! Oh my! And that’s just the Marine Corps! I wonder what the Navy gets up to? Does anyone here know if sailors swear?
Before we answer that question, let’s take a stab at understanding what role the use of vulgar, aggressive, obscene language in the military plays. In his pamphlet, Embrace the Suck, Colonel Austin Bay writes
Waging war is a risky, all-encompassing endeavor physically, emotionally, and psychologically. It displays humankind at its best and at its worst, and the warfighter’s slang reflects the bitter, terrible, and inspiring all of it.
Slang, jargon, idioms, vernacular and especially TLAs (Three Letter Acronyms) are a way of distinguishing an “us” and a “them”. Find almost any group of people with shared interests, and you will almost certainly find language that is interpretable only to the group in question.
Harry Potter fans have their own language:
Translation: Especially on days when one is tired, it’s important to have coffee before coming to work, wouldn’t you agree?
So do Trekkies:
We won’t even get started on techies!
[Edited to add: One for Leap of a Beta]
And it just so happens that the Navy has its own language and way of communicating, and that language serves a purpose.
At its core, warrior slang is a language of discipline and shared suffering, experiences that produce a tough human epoxy: the industrial strength social and emotional glue binding military comrades and building military units.
This is Captain Holly Graf, previously in command of the U.S.S. Cowpens, a guided missile cruiser. She was stripped of her command when staff accused her of being verbally abusive.
According to 29 of the 36 crew members who were questioned for the Navy’s report, Graf repeatedly dropped F bombs on them. “Take your goddam attitude and shove it up your f______ ass and leave it there,” she allegedly told an officer during a stressful maneuver aboard the 567-ft., 10,000-ton vessel.
“Get the f___ out of my stateroom.” She allegedly told a male officer, “The only words I want to hear out of your mouth are ‘Yes ma’am’ or ‘You’re correct, ma’am.’ “
And apparently, she was physically abusive, too. She once threw a wadded up ball of paper at a junior officer!
Apparently, a coffee cup went flying, too. Yikes. That would hurt. Yeah, I’d accept the coffee cup as “assault”, but a wadded up ball of paper? Really? Oh, now hold up. She choked her junior officers, too. That seems a little unbecoming for an officer. And it’s definitely assault.
The story in Time doesn’t offer a whole lot of details, but it does specifically draw attention to the fact that Captain Graf is a woman, calling her “the female Captain Bligh” right in the headline.
And it looks like it was other women who found the Captain grating, although the three complaints that triggered the investigation were filed anonymously.
While most of the witness statements contained in the IG report didn’t specify whether the person testifying was male or female, the IG asked at least two female officers whether they viewed Graf as a role model. A younger woman recalled going to Graf to seek her help. ” ‘Don’t come to me with your problems,’ ” she said, quoting Graf. ” ‘You’re a f______ department head.’ ” The officer also said that Graf once told her, “I can’t express how mad you make me without getting violent.”
A second female officer told the IG that Graf was a “terrible role model for women in the Navy,” alleging that Graf once told her and a fellow officer on the bridge, “You two are f______ unbelievable. I would fire you if I could, but I can’t.”
The case leaves me with a number of questions:
Would a male captain get away with this?
Is the Captain being held to unrealistic standards about being nice and sweet and kind because GIRL?
How in the hell did she get the job in the first place?
According to the Telegraph report on this case, the answer to the first question is “No!”.
The obscenities and tirades were shocking to sailors because although they may have been familiar enough with colourful language from shore leave, on the bridge of a US Navy ship there is hardly any talking, let alone profanities. The Navy’s ideal captain is cool, polite and respected. Yet the Naval investigation report into Capt Graf’s conduct, obtained by Time magazine under the Freedom of Information Act, showed that out of 36 witnesses interviewed, 29 confirmed verbal abuse by Capt Graf. Names were redacated from the report.
Researchers at Technische Universitat Munchen in Germany have found that women who are cheerful aren’t perceived to have leadership qualities, so it probably wouldn’t have helped the Sea Witch out that much had she been all candy apple sweet as pie to her crew, either.
It’s true that assertive women who take very little shit are perceived as bitches, while their male counterparts are perceived as confident and assured, but that doesn’t seem to be what is happening with Captain Graf, either.
Looks like Captain Graf might have been just a straight up bitch. Her profanity and aggressiveness wasn’t meant to build anything or anyone up: it was meant to tear down.
“She never missed an opportunity to insult, embarrass, attack, undermine, or belittle. She did it with both shrieking, and with silence. With frontal assaults, and snide comments.”
So that brings us to the last question: how did she manage to land on the bridge of a billion dollar Navy cruiser?
Ah, here we have a story. Captain Graf comes from a military family, her father and her sister-in-law both high ranking officers. A poster girl for women in the Navy.
Nicole Waybright, an officer who served with Graf on the Curtis Wilbur, thinks the Navy felt pressure to promote women, so it “put her on the best and most complicated tactical platform.”
But Graf had neither the temperament nor the experience for the job. “She was a terrible ship handler,” Waybright says.
Militarycorruption.com has photographic evidence of Captain Graf racing her ship against a destroyer, in defiance of all protocols, risking the lives of both crews.
It is crazy for the cruiser COWPENS and destroyer McCAIN to be “drag-racing” like a couple of “hot rods” on the high seas. This “full throttle” contest in the Pacific Ocean came within 300 feet of disaster. Note the crew members on the fantail of DDG 56 looking over in horror at the bow of the 10,000 ton COWPENS, bearing down on them, in what must have seemed like a collision course.
It certainly did to everyone on the bridge of the guided-missile cruiser – everyone, that is, but crazed Capt. Holly Graf who refused to allow a “collision alarm” to sound. As if THAT would have made any difference if her boat had sliced off the fantail of the McCAIN and sent it and several hundred sailors to the bottom of the ocean.
The writers at military corruption have an interesting perspective on just how and why Captain Graf gets away with her behaviour: she’s well connected, protected by special interests and she gets very special treatment.
Not only did she escape real punishment, the wimpy leadership – and we mean YOU, Roughhead and Mullen – tried to pull a fast one recently and quietly slip her into a rear admiral’s slot at AEGIS (BMD) in Virginia. After all, Holly “the special one,” has a big sister who’s already a flag officer. Her daddy is said to be a retired four-striper. This is one gal with “big-time connections.”
Her most fierce proponents have been members of “The Sisterhood,” a small but powerful group of lesbian senior officers at the Pentagon. To them, Holly can do no wrong. No woman “of their kind” can. And, if someone like Holly’s criticized, well, that’s “sexism,” don’t you know? Men are such chauvinists, anyway.
Well now. Those are some pretty interesting allegations. I wonder if they’re true?
It wouldn’t surprise me in the least if they ARE true. Captain Graf is a warning sign for all organizations explicitly endeavouring to promote women into positions of leadership. One there, women will band together to promote other women, no matter how unqualified and incompetent. It’s right there in the word that describes their political ideology: humanism feminism.
Some might argue that the old boy’s network has worked in the past to promote incompetent, unqualified men, and perhaps that’s true, but what exactly are we aiming for as a society? To replicate the very worst features, only this time in favor of women?
If Captain Graf is anything to go by, that is going to be one hell of a frightening world.
We’ll all be grabastic pieces of amphibian shit!
Lots of love,