Why is it so hard to imagine a world in which ALL aboriginal lives matter?

Canadian media is currently focused on a decision in Canada in which a truck driver was found not guilty of murdering an Aboriginal woman named Cindy Gladue. There has been a lot of hand-wringing of late in the Canadian press about the plight of missing and murdered Aboriginal woman, and for good reason. There is a long history of turning a blind eye towards the Aboriginal community, and ignoring missing Aboriginal women, particularly sex workers.
What most of the media coverage tends to ignore completely is that while Aboriginal women do indeed suffer stunningly high murder rates, Aboriginal men are even more likely to be murdered.

Between 1980 and 2012, 14 per cent of female murder victims with a known ethnicity were aboriginal, far exceeding their 4 per cent share of the female population, according to Statistics Canada.
But 17 per cent of male murder victims were also aboriginal during that time. In total, nearly 2,500 aboriginal people were murdered in the past three decades: 1,750 male, 745 female and one person of unknown gender.

This is the part of liberal-minded, social justice warrior feminism that just enrages me so much: why is it so damn hard for these people to imagine a world in which all Aboriginal lives matter? Yes, it’s tragic that Aboriginal women suffer such an incredulous murder rate, but if their murder rate is incredulous, the murder rate Aboriginal men face is reaching fantastical heights that defy comprehension. Why do women matter more than men? Why is it so hard to care about both?

I actually think I have answer to that. I live in a community with a large Aboriginal population and count native Canadians among my friends and neighbors. I do my damndest to help where I can and behave with compassion and kindness at all times.

For those of you who are unaware of the history of the Aboriginal community in Canada, let me give you a rough, dirty and quick summary: beginning just before the turn of the century, the Canadian government attempted to “integrate” Aboriginal children into society through the deployment of something called a “residential school”. A more accurate word for these places would be “House of Horrors”, and the last one in Canada did not close until 1996.

Aboriginal children were essentially kidnapped from their families and taken to these “schools”, where they were beaten, humiliated, tortured and abused, both physically and sexually. Both men and women ran these institutions, and the women were no better than the men. Often, Aboriginal children would have their hair shorn, which was an incredibly traumatizing experience for those children to whom hair was deeply, culturally significant. They were beaten if they spoke to one another in their own language, even in private. They were forced to abandon their own spiritual beliefs and accept Christianity. In short, they were destroyed. Their spirits were broken and scattered like ashes on the wind.

Then, after this marvelous “education”, they were simply released into society to “assimilate”.

Yes, kidnapping, beating, raping, torturing and humiliating children is an excellent way to get them to embrace your culture. Has this ever worked anywhere in history ever? The true legacy of residential schools is that generations of children were raised without love, without kindness, without respect and without the protections most children are under from their parents and society at large. They were subjected to horrific physical and sexual abuse. 4000 children died in residential schools, largely because of abuse and neglect.

And thus the cycle began….

Today, Aboriginal communities are rife with physical and sexual abuse, addiction and violence. In one generation, they were destroyed. Any group of children, anywhere, of any nationality or ethnicity or race, subjected to the “residential schooling” experiment would be facing the same crisis of culture, and the same issues.

We have an entire government ministry dedicated to Aboriginal Affairs and all they seem to do is bleat endlessly about how the problem is complex and deep-rooted and hard to solve, but it occurs to me, especially in light of yesterday’s post, that all those proclamations are complete and total bullshit. The problem is not hard to solve. It is easy to solve. It took one generation to destroy the Aboriginal community, and it will take one generation to fix it.

And a ton of money.

Guess what? That money is already being spent. We don’t need new money to solve the Aboriginal crisis. We just need to use the existing money differently.

And that is where feminism and caring more about Aboriginal women than men comes in.

Where does most of the money intended to assist the Aboriginal community go? Into the pockets of liberal arts graduates who administer programs and services via various government organizations and institutions. It goes to non-Aboriginal people who love cushy office jobs with great benefits and stellar pensions. Federal government workers? Yeah, they’re mostly women.

There are plenty of men too and the percentage of the federal workforce that is Aboriginal? Less than 3%.

97% of the federal workforce is non-Aboriginal, many of whom are charged with nannying the Aboriginal community and telling them what’s best.

Here’s a radical idea: give all the money meant to assist Aboriginal to Aboriginal people.

Not to people who think they “know” what is best for Aboriginals and not to people who think they “understand” what the Aboriginal community needs. Those people have zero incentive to actually help because their income depends on the continued suffering of the Aboriginal community.

The most profound issue facing the Aboriginal community is the crisis in parenting. Not every Aboriginal went to residential schools, and of those who did go, many were able to overcome the abuse they suffered and go on to lead productive lives and raise loving families. But many, many more were utterly broken by the experience.

Here’s how to fix it: dismantle the Ministry of Aboriginal Affairs, take all that money, and give it to the Aboriginal community. There are tens of thousands of successful, accomplished, knowledgeable Aboriginal people across the country. Let the Aboriginal people themselves choose their leaders, however they wish. Let them choose how to educate their children, pick their own curriculum, meet their own social services needs. The Ministry of Education is designed to produce corporate drones and bureaucrats, and to the best of my knowledge, there exists no history of pointless paper shuffling in Aboriginal culture. The curriculum forced on Aboriginal children is stupid, pointless and utterly ineffective, but I will bet the entire federal budget that the Aboriginal community contains thousands of individuals who know exactly how to engage Aboriginal children in a way that honors, respects and loves them.

Let the Aboriginal community tackle the crisis in parenting. There are a number of ways they could do it. Right now, families that are torn apart by addiction and violence have their children taken by the state, which merely replicates and reinforces the residential schooling history. I can imagine an Aboriginal community that responds to child abuse and neglect not by removing children, but by adding a stable member to the family to provide a role-model. A member who shares their experiences, culture and understands their suffering. I can also imagine an Israeli-style kibbutz situation, where families that struggle to care for children can live collectively, surrounded by members of their own community who have tackled the same issues and defeated them. I can imagine lots of ways the Aboriginal community might collectively work together to teach the broken ones how to mend themselves and restore the traditional, deeply knit and loving communities they once were before their children were stolen and destroyed.

I don’t imagine for one second that the Aboriginal community doesn’t love their boys and men. Yet this focus on Aboriginal women at the expense of men and boys is spreading across the community like a virus. Divisive forces are succeeding at pitting Aboriginal women against Aboriginal men, and that is a tragedy. It is exactly the tactic liberals and feminists used to destroy the Black community, with great effect, and countless numbers of liberal arts grads are now employed administering vital social services to that devastated demographic.

Aboriginal women who align themselves with liberal, white feminists are absolutely insane to think those people are going to help them. They are not. They earn their living off the suffering of Aboriginal people. All the money flowing into the Ministry of Aboriginal Affairs, intended to help repair the devastating history of the Aboriginal community is being used to clothe and feed and house non-Aboriginal children and provide income and work for adults who essentially have no marketable skills other than doing clerical work in air-conditioned offices.

It’s always the same: follow the money.

Aboriginal women are making a huge mistake embracing liberal white feminism. The concepts of patriarchy and male privilege are particularly egregious when applied to the Aboriginal population. Patriarchy is the notion that men are to blame for their own oppression and their own condition. Think about that in the context of what happened to Aboriginal children.

The little boy who was kidnapped, had his hair cut off, was beaten for speaking his own language and raped repeatedly is privileged somehow? It was patriarchy that caused that to happen? As a male he somehow benefits from his gender?

Think about how heartless, soulless and utterly cruel that is.

It saddens me deeply to see accomplished, concerned Aboriginal women embrace feminism and stand beside the very people who are pocketing huge chunks of money intended to help Aboriginal families, and who are never going to voluntarily stop. And they won’t have to stop if they can convince you to blame the men and boys of your own community for the tragic legacy of the residential schools. Aboriginal women will never see their communities and families restored until they come to the realization that feminism is a profitable ideology that stands on the backs of the broken and blames the broken ones for their own problems, as long as they are male.

Fixing the Aboriginal community can only be done by the Aboriginal community itself. Men and women together. Align your interests with those who profit from your suffering, and I guarantee you, they will do everything possible to make sure your suffering continues.

Feminists do that by convincing Aboriginal women that Aboriginal men are their enemies.

They are not.

They are your sons, your brothers, your fathers, your uncles, your nephews, your grandfathers, your friends. They are your people, and they are hurting, too.

All Aboriginal lives matter.

If Aboriginal women allow feminists to convince them that loving men and boys is not important, they are lost.

Lots of love,

JB

David Futrelle redefines the words “sick motherfucker”

Futrelle has a long, sad history of advocating for some truly sick shit, including the rape and torture of children “for art”, and skinning men to be used as glue, but he has outdone himself with his recent shitposting about how Paul Elam at A Voice for Men, and people in general who are concerned about the well-being of men and boys caused the tragic Germanwings plane crash.

Yes, that’s right – caring about the well-being of men and boys led to the depressed co-pilot slamming the Airbus A320 into the side of a mountain, killing everyone on board.

Futrelle writes, “[a]ll this would be a little more believable as a “warning” if Elam and other MRAs didn’t devote most of their energy to cultivating exactly this kind of male anger — and in some cases lionizing those who have acted out this rage.”

If MRAs didn’t devote most of their energy to cultivating exactly this kind of male anger. Show me where, show me one single line out of the millions of lines that have been written across the manosphere where anyone, ever, suggested flying a fucking plane into a mountain.

In a desperate attempt to remain relevant and collect funds, the one-time MRA and “lapsed feminist” Futrelle exploits the brutal murder of 151 innocent people, including two infants and numerous children, bringing his “sick motherfucker” quotient up to the full 9000 points allowed on the “sick motherfucker” scale.

Hell, I think Futrelle might have broken the “sick motherfucker” scale on this one.

Futrelle references the tragedy of Tom Ball who killed himself in protest at the wickedly cruel and unfair family court system that awards support and custody to mothers and relegates men to nothing more than cash dispensers, but rather than address the actual issue of unfair courts, Futrelle cherry picks a dying man’s agonized cry for help to promote the disgusting idea that women and men who think parenting should be shared equally are actually advocating for mass murder of entirely innocent men, women and children.

It’s so disgusting, I can barely find words.

It’s one thing to hate equality, as those who oppose rights for men do. Irony: feminists throw the dictionary around when challenged on their beliefs, citing equality as their only interest, but then literally oppose  equality when it comes to sharing their rights and privileges with men.

You know what, fine. We’ll carry on, bringing the message that feminism is not about equality and advocating for real, genuine equality regardless of how much feminists and their “allies” cry and scream about it.

It’s quite another thing to openly write that caring about equality for all human beings is tantamount to calling for mass murder of innocent people. Male anger did not cause the Germanwings crash. Male anger at being treated as disposable, obsolete, stupid, uncaring and unworthy of any assistance is justified. Any group being treated so unjustly is right to be angry. What Futrelle is doing is saying that any expression of male anger is advocating mass murder.  As far as Futrelle is concerned, male anger is not an acceptable emotion and men should just….what, David?

MAN UP?

Go fuck yourself Futrelle. But before you do, take a look at these images first. Notice anything?

They’re all men. Those men you despise so much? They’re up on that cold mountain picking up pieces of human beings. They are grieving, mourning, suffering and still getting the job done. How much do you want to bet that every single man up on the mountain, scraping baby parts into body bags is angry? Would you be angry, Futrelle?

Nevermind, we already know the answer to that. You gleefully watched a film in which adolescent boys were tortured, raped, forced to eat excrement and insisted dumb police officers were too dumb to know art when they saw it. Because torturing children as a form of art totally belongs in a porn shop. Yeah, people were doing art.

It seems you have forgotten, Futrelle, what it is like to be a child. Let me remind you:

Exploiting the deaths of innocent babies, school children, men, women – all of them innocent – as a way of insisting men are toxic, bad and worthless unless they subscribe to the one true ideology is beyond sick. It’s fine if Futrelle and his ilk hate men. Go right ahead.

Using a dead baby to make that seem rational and reasonable makes you not just hateful, it makes you a sick motherfucker. Here is one of the dead babies you are standing on to libel the men and women who care about boys and men as much as they care about girls and women:

Take a good look, you sick motherfucker.

Rest in peace, little one. I’m so sorry for what happened to you.

We all are.

Lots of love,

JB

How to Pick a Wife – 2.0

When I first wrote my post How To Pick a Wife, I failed to take into consideration the very real, and potentially devastating legal environment that marriage occurs within. Devastating for men, that is. Marriage is, and remains, the sweetest gig a woman can possibly get, which is the primary driver, I think, behind the MGTOW wars. MGTOW men hate marriage, because it is just so damned unfair to men, given the current environment. Changing that environment is one of the principle aims of the MRM, and one that will happen, although it will take time.

In the meanwhile, for humans who are deeply drawn to pair-bonding (and that’s most of us), here is an updated list of how to pick a wife, aka mitigating risk factors. Many men will never marry, until reproductive, marriage and divorce laws become fair, and that’s a rational response to an irrational bias towards women and against men. I intend no shame towards those men who reject marriage and women outright, although that is obviously not a strategy that is going to work in the long-term. It’s nihilism.

There are ways to make marriage safer. And even bringing these topics up for discussion will let you know very quickly just what your beloved has on her mind. A day for a Princess or a life for a Queen?

1. Ask her about circumcision

Prepare for a great deal of ignorance, because many women (and men) have given this zero thought at all. A woman who is instinctively repulsed by the thought of harming a child in this way gets one gold star. A woman who declares that a mutilated penis pleases her sense of aesthetics should immediately be shown the door. A woman who mistakenly believes genital mutilation is about sanitation and health is merely ignorant. She should be given an opportunity to learn and demonstrate her compassion for infant boys. Not caring about hurting babies is a deal-breaker, IMO.

2. Find out her thoughts on abortion

This is obviously deeply personal and complicated. I’m not even sure what I think about abortion, but I have never faced needing one. My chain of thought at the moment is that at some point that little clump of cells divides to the point that a person exists.

There is a difference between this:

And this:

A tiny little brain becomes active, even at a primitive level, and an “I” exists.  I would like to see us be able to detect that using prenatal imaging, at which point I am very comfortable banning all abortion for any reason. That is no longer your body, and no longer your choice.

Whatever your personal feelings about abortion, you will be able to deduce a lot from a woman based on her opinions. You can’t legally prevent a woman from aborting your child, so if that’s a deal-breaker for you, you need to find out sooner than later.

3. Never trust her with birth control

Sorry, just don’t. You are legally fucked if you do. There is no way around that except to take control of birth control yourself.

An exception might be if she has an implantable birth control device because you can physically feel that under her skin. You buy (or acquire) the condoms yourself, and you never let her touch one.

When I was writing this post about birth control sabotage, I poked well over 40 holes in a condom, right through the package. Neither me nor my husband could detect a single one, not even in bright light. Try it yourself.

She never touches the condom.  Never leave a used one anywhere she can get it. You will be held legally responsible if she is able to impregnate herself with a used condom. Calculate the value of child support based on your income over the course of 18 years. Think of your used condom as a little pile of cash for that exact amount. Would you leave that cash out where she can get it?

Have emergency birth control on hand. If a condom breaks and she refuses to take it: pray. That is your only option. No matter what happens, never legally marry a woman who refuses to involve you in her reproductive decisions.

 

4. How do you want to raise children, if you want them?

My husband I both wanted our children raised at home and we were explicit about that pretty much from day one. We met in MBA school and I agreed to shelve my career ambitions (which I honestly had few of to begin with) to make that possible. It’s a personal decision, but if you are both not on the same page, you need to know that up front. Ultimately, you will have to use your judgement, since she can renege on her side of the bargain, any damn time she likes.

5. Sign a prenuptial

A woman who balks at a fair prenuptial is, to quote Taylor Swift, a nightmare dressed as a daydream. Prenuptials should include:

• A financial settlement that reflects what you have both put in to the marriage
• Child custody arrangements
• Division of assets based on your mutual earnings

You should only consider getting married in a state where your prenuptial will be enforceable.

I can imagine most women reacting to these conditions:

 

When you find one willing to consider why these are of vital importance to men, a woman who understands she has a loaded gun and is willing to give you the bullets, that is a woman worth considering.

Many of you will read this list and say oh hell no, and that’s a valid response. For those men who do long for a mutually beneficial marriage that lasts for the long term, or in the alternative, isn’t completely life-destroying, these are vital considerations.

How to choose a wife? With your eyes open and your armor on. It doesn’t guarantee you victory, but it helps prevent the most grievous injuries.

Sad, when war has become an appropriate metaphor for marriage.

 

Determination won’t matter much. But preparation will.

Most of all, be prepared for a lot of women calling you a misogynist for caring about fairness and equality.

Par for the course, I’m afraid.

Lots of love,

JB